A/N: This idea came to me when I was watching Conan O'Brian the other night. He did a skit with a guy called "The Interrupter" (look it up in google videos sometime), who is my absolute favorite character on Conan O'Brian. Anyway, I was working on one of my stories and this sort of worked it's way into what I was writing. Unfortunately, it doesn't even fit in to the storyline, so I cut it out.

Anyway, I saved it, edited it and now here it is in all it's un-canon glory (Its soooo unlike Edward to be this obnoxious. It's more like something Jacob would do if he could read minds while in his human form). By-the-way, it's a conversation that goes on between Leah and Edward.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. Twighlight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, but I'm just borrowing them for the time being.

"Thank you for stopping by, Leah." The parasite said in an infuriatingly cordial way.

Because he was being so calm, cool and collected, I wanted to choke him to death.

Stupid. immortal. vampire. I thought, as I gave him the stink-eye.

"Yeah, whatever." I said, without even attempting to sound civil. "We really should -"

"Do this again soon?" The parasite interrupted me, finishing my sentence.

I wasn't amused.

"I was being -"

"Sarcastic?" he offered, while simultaneously interrupting and finishing my sentence once again.

"Would you –"

"Stop that?"

"You're a –"

"Freak show?"

"Do you know how -"

"Incredibly annoying I am? Yes."

By this point, the Cullens and Jacob had exploded into fits of giggles. Apparently they found our exchange incredibly hilarious.

"Yet you -"

"choose to persist in the very behavior that would make me a social pariah in the human world?"

Those weren't my exact words, but he got the gist of what I was going to say.

"How is it that -"

"No one's attempted to murder me yet?"

"I swear, I'm going to –"

"Punch me in the face? It won't hurt me and you'll probably shatter every bone in your hand."

"You're worse then my—"

"Little brother?"

"Did you ever -"

"Eat paint chips?"

"Because, I swear you have -"

"Brain damage?"

"Go to—"

"Hell?"

"You are an incredible—"

"Douche?"

"You should consider -"

"Getting therapy?"

"I'm talking about -"

"Serious therapy?"

"Although, if you did go to a therapist, the poor -"

"Bastard would probably blow his brains out during the first session?"

"I don't have time for -"

"An obnoxious jackass like me?"

"ARRRGH! SHUT UP!" My voice echoed throughout the monstrosity of a house as Jacob and the rest of the Cullens laughed hysterically. There were tears streaming down Jacobs face and he was literally doubled over on the floor.

"Stop! Stop!" Jacob begged, "I can't breathe." Jacob was barely able to get the words out because he was literally choking on his laughter.

I get it, jackass, 'checkmate'. You win. I conceded to the parasite.

The tiniest sign of a smirk was showing itself at the corners of the parasite's mouth.

I still think that your mind reading is the equivalent of mind-rape, you disgusting leech.

After giving him my most malicious look, I turned on my heel and stormed out of the house.

"Come again soon!" I heard the blood-sucker call out just before I slammed the door behind me.