001. Beginnings.
By Motorized-Sasquatch

BAD DUDES MAGAZINE - CLASSIFIEDS

WANTED: SIDEKICK/GENERAL ASSISTANT FOR WORLD DOMINATION/CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE

Dr. Drakken, startup world-domination mad scientist and Doctor of Evil, is currently accepting applications for the position of sidekick. Candidate will possess a strong background or formal training in hand-to-hand combat, espionage, theft, driving, stealing candy from infants, and general evil. Excellent pay and benefits. Living quarters provided if needed. Experience is preferred, but will train correct person. Superpowers and the correct attitude are always a plus! Bonuses, karaoke nights, and other incentives awarded for good performance or the ability to keep my annoying, overbearing, WON'T LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE mother at bay. If you have worked for Professor Dementor in the past, please do not apply.

Dr. Drakken is an equal opportunity employer.

Send all resumes to:
ATTN: Dr. Drakken
1 Scary Caribbean Island Place, Drakken's Island, the Caribbean
or call 1-555-BLUE-GUY.

"Why am I even responding to this?" muttered a green-hued young woman to herself as she placed a resume in an envelope...