Disclaimer: No I don't the characters in this story (unfortunately).

AN: Hey guys! No I'm not dead. My grandpa died last May and I was so devastated that I couldn't write or do anything at all. I feel alot better now thanks to the love and support of my parents and all my friends. So to show that I'm not dead and out of my writers block here is my story. It's basically like my Naruto Hates Yaoi and Mansex Hates Yaoi stories but the Final Fantasy VII version. I'm also currently working on my first official multichaptered story which will (I hope) be out soon. It's gonna be a Naruto story so look for it there. Well enough of my rambling and on with the story.

Kadaj Hates Yaoi- Talk Show

Welcome back to the only show that finds out what's wrong with Final Fantasy Fanfictions containing Yaoi.

With your host, Kadaj!

Kadaj- Hello everyone!Today, we have Yazoo with us to talk about Yaoi in Final Fantasy Fanfictions. So, big brother, what do you think about people writing Fanfictions containing Yaoi?

Yazoo- Well, I think Fanfictions containing Yaoi that are based on Final Fantasy are horrid, for the most part. The plots completely diss their character and personality! I believe they're quite inappropriate.

Kadaj- ...And?

Yazoo- And, what? Was I supposed to say something else?

Kadaj-Yeah! Now aren't you supposed to say 'And I totally disaprove.'?

Yazoo- Um, but don't I have to disaprove to say, 'And I totally disaprove.'?

Kadaj- Are you saying you APROVE of these fanfictions?!

Yazoo- Well, they do make me gay...and we're usually a couple. It's not really all that different from the truth, so YES! I totally approve!

Kadaj- Are you saying you ARE gay? And if so then...oh damn...

Yazoo- Yes and I like you, a LOT.

Kadaj-...But...but...w-we're brothers! We're not supposed to do that!

Yazoo- Incest is so in now and besides…you're looking hot today... (Pounce)

Kadaj- Eep! Get OFF of meeeee!

--Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep--

We are sorry, but the show has been delayed on a count of a Horny Yazoo.

Kadaj- And we are back. Heh...Today we're here with Tseng to discuss Tseng/Rufus Fanfictions. So, Tseng, how do you feel about people writing Tseng/Rufus Fanfictions?

Tseng- Well, uh, I think- WAIT! Did you just say Tseng/Rufus?! I'm paired with Rufus?! Oh. My. Gawd! No. Way! Dreams do come true!

Kadaj- CUUUUUT!

Kadaj- Today's guest is none other than Vincent! Sooooo, Vinny, how do YOU feel about Yaoi related Final Fantasy Fanfictions?

Vincent- So troublesome...

Kadaj- What part do you think is so troublesome?

Vincent- Oh! Cid was HORRIBLE in bed last night! I usually can't walk then next day! Although, he was kinda drunk…

Kadaj-...Dammit! CUT!

Kadaj- Today Sephiroth's here to talk. So, Sephiroth, How do Kadaj/Sephiroth Fanfictions affect you?

Sephiroth- Hate 'em.

Kadaj- Why?

Sephiroth- Because! Zack's the ONLY one for me! So back off!

Kadaj- ...Fuck! CUUUT!

Kadaj- So, Loz! Surely YOU disapprove with Yaoi pairings in Final Fantasy Fanfictions!

Loz- Damn right I do!

Kadaj- Good. Why?

Loz- Oh, because they should be Yaoi THREESOMES! Like Kadaj/Yaz/Loz! (Pounce)

Kadaj- DAMMIT! Not again!

--Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep--

We are sorry, but the show has been delayed again, but this time because of a VERY Horny Loz.


Kadaj- Well, today's guest is Reno, who should be joining us soon.

Reno- (Off in distance) Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

Kadaj- Oh, that's him, sounds like he's mad at something... Roxas?

Reno- (Still in distance) Fuck!

Kadaj-...?

Reno- Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, HARDER!!

Kadaj-...!! FUCK! CUUUT!

Reno- (Still off in distance) Yeah! Tell Cloud that!

Kadaj- I said CUT!

Yazoo- Kadaj!

Kadaj- Fuck...again...

Yazoo- You read my mind!!

--Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep--

We are sorry, but the show has been completely canceled because the rating is now too high to show on public television. Now I must go help Kadaj get away from Yazoo and Loz...

AN: Hoped you liked it! Now press that pretty little lilac button there. Everyone who does gets a virtual cookie and a Kadaj getting raped plushie. XD