Tifa: hello, my name is Tifa Lockhart and today we're gonna talk about the creation of Cloud Strife…No not THAT! You people have dirty minds… (However, if you don't get it, then you're great!) Anyway, we need Sephiroth and Zack…
Zack and Sephiroth: (uneasily) yeah…?
Tifa: We're gonna re-create the Nibelheim incident…ready go!
Sephiroth: So how does—?
Tifa: Once upon a time…
Zack: I don't like where this is going…
Tifa: …Cloud and Sephiroth were very close…Our story begins though, not with Cloud, but with Zack. Zack and Sephiroth went into Nibelheim…
Sephiroth: Where's Nibelheim?
Zack: It's in front of us, duh!
Sephiroth: No, it's not, that is only air! I burned Nibelheim to the ground because I dropped a lighter!
Zack: (stepping forward) Sweet, I'm in Nibelheim!
Sephiroth: (also stepping forward) …idiot…
Tifa: So Zack and Sephiroth thought it would be funny to steal the tour guide's laptop—I want that back, by the way…
Zack: Awwwwww…Seph stole Tifa's laptop!
Sephiroth: I did not! She is making this all up!
Tifa: I am not; this is my only explanation for Cloud being crazy! So shut up and do as you're told!
Sephiroth: (tiny voice) yes ma'am.
Tifa: So that night they found a Final Fantasy fan site and Sephiroth discovered that Cl—I mean Zack's hairstyle had beaten Seph's by two and a half votes. (Followed by Squall and then of course, Reno…how they got half a vote is beyond me.)
Zack: Two 'n' a half? (I'm dead aren't I?)
Tifa: YES, TWO…AND A HALF! (And yes. Yes, you are.)
Zack: ...Oh…shit…
Tifa: Yes, anyway, Sephiroth got mad and while Zack was sleeping he dyed Zack's hair blonde, then he dropped his lighter and made a run for it into the local mako reactor.
Sephiroth: Um…she had the lighter thing right…at least
Zack: (nods) Yup, yup…
Tifa: Zack also got mad when he woke up and followed Sephiroth into the reactor…
Zack: Oh yeah!
Tifa: …and when he got there, he was pushed down the steps and hit his head…hard.
Zack: Dammit!
Tifa: when Cl— I mean Zack, woke up a certain someone convinced him that his name was, in fact, Cloud…
Sephiroth: …Idiot…
Aerith: but then a certain flower girl met Cloud and noticed the few differences…she knew that these two were too much alike to be two different guys!
Sephiroth: (jumps back) where the heck did she come from?!
Zack: Oh…she just shows up…in the street, on the sidewalk, in your bathroom…under your bed…
Sephiroth: Creepy.
Zack: She's like a pet! (Pats Aerith's head) she just follows you around everywhere. Then she poofs… (Aerith disappears) See?
Sephiroth: Correction…really creepy.
Tifa: But still today, the flower girl…
(Aerith pops up)
Aerith: Still…
Tifa: Has not told Cloud of his real identity because Zack is funny…
Aerith: …When he is stupid.
Zack: That…sucked.
Sephiroth: It was complete humiliation.
Zack: hey, Seph?
Sephiroth: Yes?
Zack: Let's do the story behind Tifa's "They're real" excuse…
Chapter 3! Thank you Angela! (Ironic, huh?) anyway...yes, my friend and I were brainstorming and I got inspired by a parody wikipedia article...then I just started ranting on about Seph dropping his lighter and setting Nibelheim on fire while Zack hit his head in the reactor...messed up everyone at the table! Anyway, I own nothing, if I did I probably wouldn't be typing this...