I just want to say thanks again to everyone who is reading and most of all reviewing this story. I honestly didn't think that anyone would want to sit through this cracky AU, and sometimes I still can't believe so many people are reading and liking this. So thanks, y'all.

Qym, My Personal Rose, Turn.Me.On, Bladed Darkness, and everyone else who is worrying/wondering about what's happening to Oliver, Hannah, the other Lilly, and everyone back in the canon verse...I have always intended to write that. I just need to stop being lazy and actually do it.

First there is going to be the sequel to this story, though, and as I've said before, it will be Miley/Lilly.

live2rite and TutorGurlTigger: Yeah, Lilly's mom has some Miley issues. Those will be addressed more in the sequel.

mileymadness: Your strategy is exactly how I survived high school. Not with my own fic, of course, but the same kind of thing. I hope thinking about this chapter helped you get through today. Your reviews are wonderful and way too nice, seriously.

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Chapter Five: Take Away The Glamour

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Nothing to do but move.
Nowhere to go but on,
to creep, and breathe, and learn
a blue beyond belief,
Nothing to do but live.
Nowhere to be but gone.

- Christian Wiman, "This Inwardness, This Ice"

———————————————

15 April – 16 April 2008

Miley was coming home. Lilly tapped her fingers nervously against the armrest on the inside of the car door as Brian made the turn into the driveway of the rehab center, stopping at the manned gate for the guard to let them through. It wasn't that she wasn't happy Miley would be coming back with them, but there were a million questions she couldn't get out of her head.

Was Miley really well enough to come back? Would she want to start drinking again when she saw what everyone had been saying about her? If she did, would Lilly be able to stop her? Would Miley hate Lilly for forcing her to go into rehab and making her the target of all that negative attention? Was she going to get pissed off when Lilly told her she was giving the money back but she didn't have all of it? What was going to happen when Miley started doing concerts again? Would she be able to support Miley enough that she wouldn't try to drink? Were they ever going to reach a point where this life was something resembling normal instead of a nightmare?

But she forgot all that the instant the car stopped and Miley came out of the center's front door.

"There she is!" Lilly said to Jackson, jumping out and running to meet her with Jackson on her heels.

"Oof!" Miley said when Lilly hugged her without quite stopping her forward motion. She almost dropped the suitcase she was carrying and awkwardly wrapped her free arm around Lilly's shoulders. "Good to see you, too, Lilly."

"Sorry," Lilly said, letting her go. "But it is good to see you. You look a lot better." Which she did, no longer looking like she was skin and bones, though Lilly thought she was still too thin. But the circles were gone from under her eyes and her hair framed her face in loose waves. Her roots were really showing now.

"I got that, Miles," Jackson said, taking the suitcase from her and giving her a hug of his own in greeting. "You ready to get out of here?"

Miley grinned. "Past ready." She linked arms with Lilly and they strolled back to the car while Jackson got Brian to pop the trunk so he could put the suitcase in. Lilly had meant to sit up front and let Jackson have the back with Miley, but Miley pushed her into the backseat and climbed in after, not giving Lilly much choice in the matter.

"No one followed you, did they?" Miley asked. "Was anyone hanging around the house?"

"No," Lilly said. "And I saw a thing on ET last night that said you aren't coming home until Thursday." Miley had gotten her publicist to leak the false information so that she could hopefully make it home without incident and have a day or two before the vultures attacked, but Miley's questions just reminded Lilly of her earlier worries.

"Miley," she started, "I'm really sorry about the press. It – "

"Don't worry about it, Lilly," Miley said, as though Lilly could just stop. "I knew this would happen when I left."

"I didn't," Lilly said as Jackson got in the front seat and the car moved to begin their journey back. "I mean, I did, but not like this."

Miley grimaced and laid her head back against the seat. "That bad, huh?"

"I'm sorry," Lilly said again.

Jackson turned around in his seat to look at them. "You think you're ready to face all this?" he asked, voicing another of Lilly's worries.

Miley shrugged. "I guess I'll have to be." That didn't make Lilly feel any less anxious.

———————————————

Miley had never been more glad to see a place than when they pulled up in front of the house. It had been her refuge for the past year and a half, the place where she hid herself away from the prying public eye, but now that Jackson and Lilly were there, it was more than that. It was home again.

She followed Lilly from the car into the familiar confines of the living room, Jackson bringing up the rear with the suitcase. A handmade Welcome Back, Miley banner was tacked up on the wall above the piano and Miley stopped in her tracks to stare at it.

Lilly came and linked her arm through Miley's, and Jackson put an arm around Miley's shoulders. "Welcome home, Miles," he said.

Miley swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Thanks, guys."

Jackson took the suitcase and set it at the foot of the stairs, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "I'm just gonna...let you get settled, or whatever, and I'll just be outside for a minute." He hurried to the back door and was outside before she could say anything.

"What the...?"

"I closed all the blinds before we went to get you," Lilly explained. "Sometimes he doesn't like it when he can't see outside. But don't worry, he's getting better."

"I...okay," Miley said, still a little confused. He didn't like not being able to see outside?

"We've had them open while you were gone," Lilly continued. "No one's been around. Even Oliver stopped spying."

"You went to see Oliver again?" Miley asked. "I thought – "

"No," Lilly said. "Jackson was out on the beach one day last week and saw him looking at the house. He smashed up Oliver's telescope and told him that if he ever caught him doing that again his face would be next. Jackson's been checking every day and hasn't seen him once."

"Wow," Miley said, not sure how to feel about that. She cast her eyes around the house to see if anything had changed while she was gone. There were little statues everywhere, figurines of fish and crabs and coral that looked like they were made out of clay. What the hell?

"Yeah," Lilly said. "Come on, let's take your stuff upstairs. I bet you can't wait to sleep in your own bed tonight."

"You have no idea," Miley told her, picking up the suitcase and leading the way up the stairs. "Where's Angel?"

"In the guest room," Lilly said. "She doesn't really come out a lot. I think she's doing some kind of meditation or something, I don't know. I don't think she likes it down here very much."

"Oh," Miley said guiltily. It was her fault Angel was stuck here.

"I'll get my stuff out of here later," Lilly said as they came through the door into Miley's room. "I would have sooner, but Angel's kinda claimed the guest room, and now Jackson's back, and I didn't know what...I hope you don't mind that I was in here, I just didn't really have anywhere..." She trailed off and Miley realized she didn't know where Lilly was planning to stay now that she was out of rehab.

"Are you – did you – ?" she stuttered, then tried again. "I mean, are you thinking about going back to your parents' house? I know you said things were getting a little better."

Lilly sat down heavily on the bed. It was made, Miley noticed, which Lilly must have done just for her, since she normally never made her bed. "They are, sort of. My mom and I are talking again, and it's okay. Mostly. There's just one thing."

Miley dropped her suitcase on the floor in front of her closet and went to sit next to Lilly on the bed. She'd deal with unpacking later. "What's that?"

"My mom, she, uh, she kinda...blames you? For what happened," Lilly said. "She said if I move back home, I can't have any contact with you."

"Oh," Miley said, barely able to get the word out. Her mind immediately went to all the places in the house she'd stashed liquor, and she wondered for a second if Lilly and Jackson had found them all before forcing the thought away. "Do you – I mean, I'd understand if you want to – "

"No!" Lilly said. "Don't be stupid. I just – " She laughed dully. "I just don't know where I'm going to live."

"What about the townhouse?" Miley asked, trying not to show how relieved she was. Sure, the townhouse was all the way in the city, but a forty-five minute drive was a lot easier to deal with than the prospect of never seeing Lilly again.

"Um, yeah, about that," Lilly said. She brought a hand up and rubbed at the back of her neck nervously. "I kind of, um, sold it. And most of my stuff. I'm giving you back your money, except some of it was spent, of course, but I guess the other Lilly had invested some of it, so that makes up for part of it, but it's still just a little under nine million, and I'm really sorry, I'll make it up to you somehow, I promise, I'll get a job or something, although I don't know what kind of job will let me pay back a million dollars, but maybe we can work out some kind of installment plan or something..."

She kept babbling but Miley could only gape at her. "Lilly!" she said finally, and Lilly immediately fell silent, looking at her sheepishly. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner? I would have told you not to sell the townhouse. You're not giving back the money, that's fucking ridiculous."

Lilly flushed. "It is not. It's your money."

"Lilly," Miley said. "If you're not living with your parents and you give back the money, how the hell are you going to support yourself? Where the hell are you going to live?"

Lilly jumped up from the bed and started pacing back and forth restlessly. "I thought, maybe, if it's okay with you, maybe I could stay here. And for the rest, like I said, I can get a job."

"Doing what?" Miley asked. "And what about school?" This was the stupidest fucking thing she'd ever heard.

"I can do both," Lilly said defensively.

"No. You're not giving the money back," Miley said.

"Yes, I am!" Lilly said, raising her voice.

"No, you damn well aren't because I won't fucking take it!" Miley yelled.

Lilly crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her. "Well, you're too late, because my dad got my accountant to transfer the money to your business manager three days ago, and he was only too happy to take it!"

"Dammit, Lilly!" Miley rubbed her forehead. Why was Lilly making such a big deal over this? Didn't she understand that Miley didn't give a shit about money? And there was no way in hell she was going to let Lilly work herself to death for no reason when this whole thing was her fault. "Okay, fine. Then I'll just put your name on my accounts. You can stay here, of course, if you want. We can fix up Daddy's room for you. Or you can get a new place. I'll get Paul to get you your own cards, and you can just use those for whatever you need." She paused and smiled up at Lilly, pleased with her solution.

Lilly just stared at her, mouth hanging open. "You are not putting my name on your accounts."

"Yes, I am," Miley said.

"No, you aren't!" Lilly argued.

"Am!"

"Aren't!" Lilly yelled.

Miley got up and put her hands on her hips, glowering at Lilly. "Yes. I. Am!"

And then they both started yelling over top of each other. "There is no way – "

"If you think – "

" – let you fucking waste your life – "

" – take your money, which you earned – "

" – this is all my fault – "

" – have no right to – "

A knock on the doorframe startled them and they looked over to see Jackson standing in the open doorway. "I, uh, I was going to order pizza?" he said, looking worried. "And I just wanted to know what you guys wanted on it. Are you all right?"

Miley could tell that last part was directed towards her. "We're fine," she told him curtly. "She wants bacon and pineapple, I want mushroom and green pepper."

"Um, yeah," Jackson said uncertainly. "Okay. I'll just go...order that now, then."

"Jackson?" Miley said, and he turned back.

"Yeah?"

"Order an extra one with everything and have them deliver next door," she said. "Dontzig will bring it over if we get one for him and tip him twenty, and that way the delivery guy won't call the paparazzi."

"Right," Jackson said. "Good thinking. Um, anything else?"

"That's all," Miley said tightly. She went over and closed the door as his footsteps receded down the hall. Then she looked over at Lilly and their eyes met and they both burst out laughing.

"Oh, god, poor Jackson," Lilly said, collapsing back on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, still laughing. "He traded in his peaceful beach for the two of us screaming at each other."

"He's probably in shock that someone would argue with me," Miley said, walking over and flopping down next to her. "I can't remember the last time that happened before you got here."

"Oh, please," Lilly said, giggling. "I find it hard to believe that no one would ever disagree with you."

"Hey! You'd better believe it, missy," Miley said loftily. "I'll have you know I'm a very pleasant person to be around."

Lilly started laughing again at that and Miley backhanded her lightly across the stomach. Lilly caught her hand and held it trapped between her stomach and her own hand, and Miley slid closer on the bed so that their shoulders touched. She'd missed this. Just having simple physical contact with another person, getting to hug her dad or slump against Lilly while they watched a movie or even getting punched in the arm by Jackson. She'd missed it so much.

"Let me put your name on the accounts," she said quietly, seriously.

"Miley..."

"Please," Miley begged. She pulled her hand free and turned on her side, propping her head on her hand so that she could look down at Lilly. "First of all, there is no way you're going to try to pay back the rest of that money. You didn't spend it, she did. So just get that out of your head. And you don't need to be dealing with working some dead end job on top of trying to catch up on all the time you missed. You can stay here, and I can buy things for you, but I'd rather you be able to do it yourself. This is the best way, you can just take what you need, and then I won't have to worry. I don't give a fuck about the money, seriously. Please let me do this for you, it's my fault you're even in this situation."

"Miley, it's just...she took your money," Lilly said. "And I don't want you to think I'm anything like her."

"That could never happen, Lilly. Don't you know that?" Miley said, smiling gently, echoing words Lilly had once spoken to her, a very long time ago. "No matter how many Lillys there are in how many universes, you're one of a kind."

Lilly laughed softly. "One in a million?" she asked.

"One in a billion," Miley said, grinning down at her. She reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Lilly's ear, her fingers lingering a moment to trace the edge of Lilly's jaw. "Let me put your name on the accounts."

Lilly stared at her for several seconds and Miley held her breath. She didn't know what she'd do if Lilly said no. "Okay."

"Okay?" Miley rolled over on her back and blew out a long breath in relief. "Okay. Good. And you'll stay here?" The idea was enticing. If Lilly was here all the time, it would be easier to stay sober. And she would make sure that Lilly was happy, as happy as she could be.

"I don't want to take your dad's room," Lilly said.

"He's never here," Miley said, but when she glanced at her Lilly didn't seem convinced, so she amended that to, "We'll think of something." She sat up and ran a hand through her hair. "I should probably go make sure Jackson got over his shock enough to order us dinner."

She found Jackson on the back porch, staring out at the smudge of ocean that was visible from their house. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," he said back, not taking his eyes from the water. "Just thought I'd wait for the pizza outside."

"What are you looking at?" Miley asked, squinting at the horizon he was watching so intently.

"Dolphins," he said. "You see 'em?" She shook her head and he raised an arm, pointing to a spot on the water, but she still couldn't make them out. They stood in silence for several minutes, Miley watching the waves and Jackson's eyes restlessly tracking the dolphins, his hands on the porch railing, body almost straining to race across the sand and join them.

"Everything okay?" Jackson finally asked, glancing over at her, the tautness leaving his body. She wondered if that meant they were gone.

"Fine," Miley said. "Lilly and I, we fight sometimes, but we never mean it, at least not for long. All bark, no bite."

"You sure?" Jackson asked. "You guys were barkin' pretty loud up there."

"Aw, that was nothin'," Miley said, laughing a little. "Wait'll you see Lilly when she really gets upset." Although Miley would do her best to make sure Lilly never did. "That was just us being stupid. She wanted to give back some money I'd given her and I didn't want to take it."

"Speaking of money...," Jackson said.

Miley looked over at him, then exhaled noisily. "Oh no, don't you start, too."

"It's two million dollars, Miley," he said. "I've been living off of coins I found on the beach for the last two years, for god's sake. I can't take two million dollars."

Miley hesitated, not knowing quite how to tell him that, to her, two million was about on the level with change in the sand. "Jackson, you're going to need money. I mean, if you want to go back to school, or college, or even if you just want to stare at dolphins all day and never get a job, I don't care. I just don't want you to end up in a cave again because you don't have options. Besides, it's my fault you were out there to begin with, so – "

"It's not your fault," Jackson said. "I chose to leave."

"But you wouldn't have had to if it hadn't been for me," Miley said. "If Hannah hadn't made life here so unbearable for you."

"It wasn't unbearable," he protested weakly.

"Yes, it was," she said. "You don't have to tell me. I know." It had been unbearable for her, too. Not the singing, but everything that went along with it. And being alone. That most of all.

"Miley, I should have – "

"Don't," Miley cut him off. "Look, just take the money and we'll call it even, okay? Or I guess I could do what I'm doing with Lilly, that way if you ever need more..."

Jackson blanched. "More? It's too much already, I couldn't ever take more. And what are you doing with Lilly?"

"Hmm?" Miley said. She'd been musing about how apoplectic Paul was going to be when she called and had him add Lilly to the accounts. "Oh, I'm putting her name on my bank accounts. That way she can get whatever she needs."

"Do you really think that's such a good idea?" Jackson asked. "I mean, I know you guys are close, but..."

"I trust her with my life," she said.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Well, she just saved it," Miley said. "So, yeah."

"What if she takes all your money?" he said.

"Then she'll have a lot of money," Miley answered flatly. "Look, this isn't about Lilly. Keep the money. It'll make me feel better to know you have it."

Jackson hesitated a moment, then nodded. "Okay. But if you ever want it back..."

"I just want you to be able to have the kind of life you want," she said. "Whatever that is." She just hoped that he would want her in it.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Miley shrugged uncomfortably. He didn't need to thank her. She hadn't done anything worth thanking her for.

A loud banging came from the direction of the front door, followed by Dontzig yelling. "Montana! I've got your damn pizza! A little warning would be nice next time, I was in the bath!"

Miley cringed, suddenly feeling very exposed outside in the open, and almost gave in to the urge to run back inside and hide herself. No, she thought defiantly, wanting to enjoy being outside while she still could. He couldn't see her here, and no one else was watching, not now. But soon enough they would be, and she'd be forced to stay inside if she wanted any privacy. Standing here now, thinking about that, the house seemed more like a prison than a refuge.

"I'll get it," Jackson said.

Miley nodded gratefully. "Don't let him know I'm here," she reminded him.

He went inside and Miley looked back out at the ocean, saw a swift gray blur that could have been one of Jackson's dolphins. She was so damn tired of people watching her all the time. She was so damn tired of not being able to do anything without scrutiny. And she was so fucking tired of the entire fucking world having an opinion on her life.

———————————————

Jackson went out on the beach after dinner. Miley opted for staying on the back porch, not wanting to stray too far from the house and get spotted. She watched his slowly retreating back get smaller and smaller until the back door opened behind her.

"Don't worry," Lilly said. "He goes out a lot, but he'll be back before dark."

"Good," Miley said, smiling a little when Lilly joined her at the railing. "You checkin' up on me?"

"Ma-a-aybe," Lilly said, drawing the word out, then laughing when Miley elbowed her in the ribs. "It's your first night back, I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm all right," Miley said. "It's good to be back, and see you guys. I know it's going to get harder, though." Tomorrow it would get harder. Tomorrow she'd have to face the rest of the world. But there was time enough for that tomorrow. She was supposed to take this one day at a time.

"Yeah," Lilly agreed. "But – "

"You two all right out here?" Angel asked, coming through the door.

"Hey, Angel," Miley greeted her.

"You missed pizza," Lilly told her. "There's some left over in the fridge if you want it."

Miley looked at Angel in surprise. "You eat?" she asked.

"On occasion," Angel told her. "I was just coming to see if you're okay, baby girl."

"What is it with everyone checking on me?" Miley said, pretending to be annoyed.

Of course, Lilly saw right through her. "You'd better get used to it," she said. "Because you're stuck with me now, and I'm expecting hourly updates." Miley elbowed her again, but internally she was pleased. It had been a long time since someone had cared that much about her. "So get it through you're head that you're gonna have to be good."

"I'll keep that in mind," Miley said. Be good, huh? That meant staying sober, obviously, and remembering to eat, which wouldn't be a problem with Lilly around. And... "I guess if I'm being good I should probably get tested."

"Tested for what?" Lilly asked.

"No," Angel said. "You don't have to. You're clean. Both of you."

"Oh," Lilly said, her voice very small. She looked so stricken that Miley's heart seized up. Oh, god. She couldn't even imagine what it must be like for Lilly, finding out something like this. She put a hand on Lilly's shoulder, but Lilly shrugged it off, shying away from her, and turned her back.

"Lilly, I'm sorry," Miley said.

"Stop it," Lilly said fiercely. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is," Miley insisted.

"I said stop!" Lilly yelled, and then rushed inside, pushing past Angel and running up the stairs. Miley stood stunned for a second before starting after her.

"Let her go," Angel said, stopping her. "Give her a minute."

"But – " Miley said, worried.

"She'll be all right," Angel promised. "She's a strong one. But she's been through a lot and she's still adjusting. Some things just take time."

This is all my fault, Miley thought, feeling the guilt that had been her constant companion for the last year and a half surge back up. There was no way she was going to say that in front of Lilly again, though, not if she could help it. Not if got a reaction like that. And it was Miley's cross to bear; Lilly didn't need to be burdened with it.

"She shouldn't have to adjust to something like that," Miley said. "She should – " She couldn't even finish that thought, let alone voice it.

"She'll be all right," Angel said again, but Miley didn't know what that meant.

"Things will get better," Miley murmured, half to herself. "I'll make them better. And I'll be better. I'm never touching a drop of that shit ever again."

"You should tell her what happened," Angel said. "She wants to know."

"No," Miley said, shaking her head and chopping her hand down through the air for good measure. That was something else Lilly didn't need to be burdened with. "It doesn't matter now."

"Of course it does," Angel said.

"Lilly says you've been spending a lot of time in the guest room," Miley said, deliberately changing the subject. She wasn't going to talk about that. It was over and done with, and Lilly was here. That was the only important thing. "Are you okay?"

Angel shot her a look that clearly stated she knew what Miley was doing. "I'm all right," she answered nonetheless. "It's just...difficult, being here. There are so many people."

"What?" Miley said, puzzled. "What do you mean? You never said anything about that before. And aren't there more people up, um..." She half-shrugged. "You know?"

Angel laughed a little. "In a way, yes, but space works differently there. Time, too. And the conception of...you know what? It's kind of hard to explain." That was okay. Miley wasn't really sure she was supposed to know. "But everyone is too close here, I can feel them all the time. It didn't bother me before, but it's different now. Now that I won't be going back."

Miley bit her lip. That was her fault, too. "Angel, I'm sorry, I – " She took the few steps between them and hugged the other woman tightly. "Thank you. I know that's not enough for what you did, for what you've given up, but thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, child," Angel said, hugging her back. "I only did...well. Not what was right, but what I could to try and make things that way."

"You never gave up on me," Miley said. She released Angel and stepped back, ducking her head in remembered shame. "Even though I tried to make you. I didn't treat you very well, and I'm sorry, but even after all of that you didn't give up. You brought Lilly here."

"Lilly did that," Angel said. "I only gave her a wish, and not much time or information for making it."

Miley looked up. "I should...I think it's my turn for checking up now."

Angel let her go this time and Miley climbed the stairs quickly. Lilly was in her room, sitting on the edge of the bed with a pillow clutched to her chest, eyes staring blankly at the floor. She glanced up when Miley came in and tried to smile. "I'm okay," she said. "Really. Sorry, I didn't mean to get so upset."

"Lilly, I – " Miley cut off the apology, not wanting to set Lilly off again. "Did you know?" she asked instead.

"Yeah," Lilly said. Miley sat down next to her. "I found her lingerie drawer when I was cleaning out the townhouse. I've just been trying not to think about it. It's just disturbing, you know?"

Miley nodded mutely. She didn't know what to say. She didn't even know if there was anything to say in a situation like this one. No one else had ever been in it before.

Lilly laid her head on Miley's shoulder. "Sometimes life really sucks."

I'm sorry, Miley thought in despair. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

A second later, Lilly bounced up from the bed, tossing the pillow down. "Hey, do you want some ice cream?" she asked, eyes sparkling. "There's triple chocolate chunk downstairs, and I got chocolate syrup to go with it. C'mon, let's go get some before Jackson gets back or he'll eat it all."

She practically bounded out of the room, leaving Miley staring after her, dumbfounded. What was it Angel had said? That Lilly was strong? Miley didn't think she'd ever met anyone stronger.

Shaking her head, she got up and went downstairs to have some ice cream.

———————————————

Miley set about calling everyone in the morning while Lilly was still out surfing. Jackson was gone, too, which would have worried her if the note Lilly had left on her pillow saying she'd gone surfing hadn't included a postscript telling her Jackson usually went out during the day. He'd be back for lunch, the note assured her, followed by a smiley face and then a p.p.s. to call Lilly on her cell when she got up.

She'd been a little disappointed that Lilly wasn't there when she woke up, but the note made her smile, and Lilly had always been more of an early riser than Miley. And the second postscript probably meant she felt like she had to hang around with Miley all day, so Miley couldn't fault her for taking the opportunity to get out of the house while Miley was still asleep.

It was after eleven when she made it downstairs, almost noon, and the door to the guest room was still closed. She was starting to see what Lilly meant about Angel shutting herself up in there. Something would have to be done about that.

But first she had to deal with her own situation. Miley had decided last night, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to Lilly breathing next to her, slow and even. Things couldn't keep going the way they had been.

So she got a pot of coffee brewing and sat at the island in the kitchen to call everyone – agent, publicist, lawyer, business manager – asking them to meet at the house around six that night. She wanted to do this today, while her resolve was strong, but Juliana especially had things earlier that couldn't be moved. She called Paul, her business manger, last, since she had other things to discuss with him, and it was just as well Lilly was gone. Paul wasn't going to be happy and it might be better if Lilly didn't have to hear this conversation.

"Paul?" she asked when his secretary put her through.

"Hannah," he said, surprise and relief evident in his voice. "Thank god, I've been calling every day. I was so worried. What happened? How are you?"

"Miley," Miley said.

"What?" he asked, confused.

Miley bit back a sigh. "I'd prefer it if you'd call me Miley from now on."

"Oh," he said. "I – All right. Are you okay...Miley?"

"I'm fine," she said. She wasn't, really, but that was the answer he wanted, and she might as well start getting used to answering that question. "But I haven't seen any of the press yet, and I'm sure that's not going to help." She didn't want to think about what they'd been saying about her this past month.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Are you still in, um...?"

"No, I'm home," she told him. "I got back yesterday."

"I thought it wasn't until Thursday," he said.

"That's what people are supposed to think," Miley said. "Listen, I need you to come out to the house around six tonight. There's something I need to go over with you."

"Sure," he agreed. "I have a dinner meeting, but I'll cancel. The guy's a giant bore, you'll actually be doing me a favor."

"Good," Miley said. "And I need you to do something for me. Quickly."

"Name it."

"You remember Lilly Truscott?" she asked.

"Funny you should mention her," he said. "She – "

"Gave back the money, I know," she said. "She told me. I need you to add her onto my accounts, joint access. Get some cards made up in her name and have them sent to the house, asap."

Nothing but silence came through the phone for a long moment. "Han – Miley," Paul said carefully. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't give a shit," Miley said. "Do it."

"Miley, a year ago she – "

"Things are different now," Miley snapped, not wanting to be reminded of what things had been like a year ago. "Don't fucking argue with me, just do what I'm asking."

The back door opened and Miley twisted around to see Lilly come inside in board shorts and a rash guard, her hair wet. She put one hand on her hip and frowned at Miley, which Miley took to mean: You were supposed to call me. Miley shrugged back apologetically and pointed to the phone she was holding to her ear.

"You pay me to watch out for your financial assets," Paul was saying. "And I have to strongly advise against this. Giving that girl access to – "

Miley turned back around so she wasn't facing Lilly. "Goddammit, Paul!" she snarled. She didn't have the time or inclination to fight with him about this. "Just do it. And draw up a list of those assets while you're at it and send it to Juliana." Her will needed to be updated.

"But – "

She hung up on him, breathing heavily. "Bastard."

"I don't like it when you do that," Lilly said from behind her.

"Do what?" Miley asked, twisting in her seat again.

"Curse like that," Lilly said, not meeting Miley's eyes. "You never used to."

Miley licked her lips, trying to ignore the way that pronouncement made her stomach drop. She didn't even notice the swearing anymore. What else was she doing wrong without realizing it? She would have to be more careful. "I'll stop," she said.

"You don't have to," Lilly said quickly. "I didn't mean to – "

"No, you're right," Miley said. "It's a bad habit, and I'm getting rid of those now, right?"

Lilly finally looked up, smiled. "Right."

———————————————

Lilly inspected her sandwich carefully. It was evenly, perfectly golden brown on both sides, and when she pried apart the two pieces of bread a tiny bit the cheese inside looking mouthwateringly melty. "This is so beautiful," she said in an awed whisper.

"It's a grilled cheese sandwich, Lilly," Miley said sardonically.

"Yeah, well, you should have seen what happened last time I tried to make one," Lilly told her, remembering the charred black hockey puck she'd been forced to throw away. She took a huge bite of this much-improved, Miley-made sandwich and then had to suck in air as the cheese burned the roof of her mouth. "Hot, hot, hot!" she yelped, and drank half her glass of milk in one gulp. "Still good though."

Miley was watching her in amusement. "You know, most people over the age of five just wait ten seconds for their food to cool off, and then they don't have that problem." Lilly stuck her tongue out at her.

They had just finished eating when Jackson reappeared from wherever he'd gone down the beach, and Miley made him a sandwich too. "Do you think Angel will want one?" she asked, transferring Jackson's from the pan onto a plate.

Jackson snorted. "Who knows?" He took the plate and smiled at her in gratitude. "Your bodyguard is really freakin' weird, Miley, and I say that as someone who lived in a cave for two years and only had dolphins for friends."

Miley shot Lilly a look and Lilly shrugged. The bodyguard thing hadn't been her idea.

"Maybe," Miley said to Jackson. "But she's really good. Like...a puma!" She and Lilly both giggled.

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "A puma?" he asked, and the look on his face only made them laugh harder.

After lunch, Lilly and Jackson cleaned up the kitchen. When they were finished Lilly joined Miley on the couch in the living room, where she was flipping through channels on the TV. Jackson stood by them for a moment, clearly ill-at-ease. "You really want to go back out to the beach, don't you?" Miley asked him.

"Yes," Jackson said pathetically. "I'm sorry, I'm glad that you're here, and I want to spend time with you, I really do, but this place is so creepy with all the blinds shut."

"Just go," Miley told him, smiling a little to show she wasn't mad at him.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he said, making a dash for the door. "I won't stay out long, I promise."

Miley watched him go, worry etched on her face. "He's getting better," Lilly reassured her. "He sleeps inside now. He used to not be able to."

"It's just..." Miley shook her head.

"I know," Lilly said. It was hard how different things were. How different people were.

Miley started flipping through the channels again. "I thought I'd see if there was anything on about Hannah."

"It's like two o'clock," Lilly pointed out. "I don't think there'll be anything on right now. Wait til tonight."

"No," Miley said, shutting off the TV and standing up. "I'll just go get the laptop."

"Miley – " Lilly called after her, trying to get her to wait, but she didn't get a reply. She'd really been hoping to put this off for at least another day or two.

But Miley was back in a minute, laptop open in her arms and already booting up. Lilly watched in silence as Miley's eyes flickered across the screen again and again and her face got progressively stonier. Not even ten minutes had passed when Miley slammed the screen shut.

"Don't worry about it," Lilly said, even though she'd spent the last month doing just that. "Once you get back out there and people see you're better, they'll come around."

Miley moved the laptop over to the chair. "It doesn't matter anyway," she said, positioning herself on the couch so that her head was propped against one of the arms and her legs laid across Lilly's lap. "Not anymore."

"Yes, it does," Lilly said. What was she talking about?

"No," Miley said. "I – "

Over on the kitchen table, Lilly's cell phone started to ring. It had to be someone in her family: no one else ever called on it. She was torn between answering it and ignoring it in favor of hearing what Miley had to say.

"Get it," Miley said.

It was Ben, asking her to meet him at the beach. "I can't right now," she told him. "Miley's back and we..." Miley was motioning that she wanted to say something. "Hang on a sec," she said to Ben, and then put her hand over the phone. "What?"

"Who is it?" Miley asked.

"Ben," Lilly said. "We've been meeting up at the skatepark in the afternoons, but yesterday I told him I've been surfing and now he wants to go to the beach."

"You should go," Miley said.

"No way," Lilly said.

"No, really. I think I'm going to take a nap. Reading all that stuff made me tired."

"Are you sure?" Lilly asked, and when Miley nodded she reluctantly got back on the phone and told Ben she would meet him. When she got changed and came back downstairs, Miley was stretched out on the couch with her eyes closed.

Lilly stayed at the beach for as long as she could force herself to, but she was still back at the house shortly after five. She was worried about Miley, and wanted to know what she'd meant when she said the press didn't matter, what had happened to make her stop caring between yesterday and today.

Jackson was already there when Lilly got back, which made her feel better. He and Miley were at the table talking when Lilly came in from the back porch. "Good," Miley said. "You made it back in time."

"In time for what?" Lilly said.

"I've got some people coming over for a meeting about Hannah stuff," Miley said. "I want you and Jackson to be there."

"Okay," Lilly said, though she didn't know what she or Jackson would have to add to a meeting like that. "What time are they coming?"

"Six," Miley said. A car door slammed out on the driveway and Miley got up from the table and peeked through the blinds on the back door. "Or now. Juliana's early."

Lilly looked down at her damp, sand-encrusted outfit. "I'm gonna go change," she said, and raced upstairs, quickly throwing on some of her other self's classier clothes, glad for the first time of her alternate's expensive sartorial choices. She wanted to at least look like she belonged at this meeting.

Back downstairs, Miley was in the kitchen by the coffeemaker, deep in conversation with a tall, slim Latina woman in a black pantsuit. Lilly sat with Jackson on the couch. "So who is she?" she asked Jackson.

"That's her lawyer," Jackson said. "Juliana Mohr. Miley said her agent, publicist, and business manager are all coming."

"Any idea what the meeting's for?"

Jackson shook his head. "Sorry, but I'm way out of the loop."

The next person to arrive was a well-tanned man in his fifties. Most of his hair had gone to gray, but the smooth way he moved indicated that he was probably still in very good shape under his gray suit, and his piercing eyes didn't miss anything. Miley introduced him as Paul Hadyn, her business manager, but Lilly would have known who he was anyway, because as soon as Miley introduced Lilly, he glared at her and didn't stop for quite some time.

The agent, Jim Reiss, and the publicist, Denise Butler, showed up one right after the other shortly before six. They squeezed in on the couch with Lilly and Jackson while Paul and Juliana took chairs on either side and Miley stood next to the TV, facing everyone.

"So we've obviously got a situation on our hands," Miley started, which seemed to be the cue for everyone to start talking.

"Don't worry," Denise said. "I've prepared a statement for you to make – "

"You need to get right back into the swing of things," Jim said. "I've got you lined up to – "

"Those bitches at the label have been trying to use this to fucking screw us over in the renegotiations," Juliana said. "But I told them to fucking suck – "

"I didn't call you here to talk about damage control," Miley said loudly. "I have an announcement to make."

Jim, Denise, and Juliana fell silent. Lilly straightened on the couch and shot a look at Jackson. She'd been wondering why Miley had wanted them included in this meeting, and this must be it. It sounded important.

Miley took a deep breath. Definitely important, Lilly thought, wondering why Miley hadn't said anything to her ahead of time. "I've decided – " Miley started, but the sound of keys in the lock made her stop and drew all their eyes to the front door, which swung open a second later.

Robby Ray stood on the doorstep.

Everyone was frozen for a minute. At this point, he was the last person Lilly, Miley, or Jackson expected to see, and Lilly guessed he hadn't been expecting a crowd in his living room, though she didn't know how much he even noticed any of them, his eyes were so locked on Miley. Then he stepped forward, pushed by the blonde woman who stepped through the door after him. "Miley," Robby Ray said. He took another step forward, then stopped.

Lilly expected Miley to throw herself at him, the way she had with Jackson, but all Miley did was cross her arms over her chest, and clear her throat, and say, "Hey, Daddy. Hey, Candice."

"Are you all right?" Robby Ray asked. "I didn't know if you'd be here. I – we were on the beach in Thailand the last month, we didn't...We came as soon as we heard."

"We were so worried, Hannah-kins," Candice added, so deceptively earnest that Lilly would have instantly disliked her even if Miley hadn't already told her how horrible she was.

Miley crossed the room slowly and for a second Lilly thought she was going to hug her father, but Miley just walked around them and shut the door. "I'm fine," she said, unconcernedly, like she'd just fallen down and scraped her knee instead of gone to rehab, like it hadn't been killing her that Robby Ray hadn't shown up until now. "Don't want to leave that open, it's only a matter of time until the paparazzi find out I'm back. You guys are just in time for my announcement."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Robby Ray asked.

Miley ignored him. "You remember Jim and Denise, don't you, Daddy?" She retreated back to the other side of the room. "And of course, you know Paul and Juliana."

"Sure, sure," Robby Ray said, waving to them as they said hello. "Miley – "

"And Jackson's here," Miley said quietly.

That brought her father up short. He really looked at the couch for the first time, eyes flicking over Lilly without any sign of recognition before settling on Jackson. Lilly looked down at her lap. He was almost a second father to her, and now he didn't know her.

"Hi, dad," Jackson said.

"Jackson," Robby Ray said. "It's good to see you. I didn't think you'd be here."

"Yeah, well, he came as soon as he heard," Miley said bitterly, and Lilly saw pain in both Jackson and Robby Ray's eyes.

"Miley," Robby Ray said.

"I'm quitting," Miley said. It was so far from anything Lilly had expected Miley to say that it took her a moment to figure out what she'd meant. Everyone else seemed to be having a similar problem.

"I'm quitting," Miley said again into the silence. "No more Hannah."

There was another beat of silence, then the room exploded into noise.

"You can't just quit!" Jim said.

"Miley, are you sure about this?" said Robby Ray.

"There's no need for anything this drastic!" Denise said. "I guarantee you with the right press we can spin – "

"Now you don't mean that," Candice said.

"I'm certain this is not a decision Miley made lightly," Paul said. "Perhaps we should – "

"You're under contract!" said Jim. "And I've already got you booked for – "

"Technically, she's not under contract," Juliana broke in. "Weren't you fucking listening?"

Miley held up a hand but everyone kept talking, their voices rising and blending together until Lilly couldn't tell who was saying what, and frankly she didn't care. She was still trying to come to terms with Miley's announcement. How could Miley want to quit? She loved being Hannah.

Finally, Jackson put his fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle that got everyone to shut up.

"Thank you, Jackson," Miley said, nodding to him. Lilly got up and went to stand behind Miley in silent support. Even if she didn't understand it, she wasn't going to let Miley think for even a second that Lilly wouldn't be there for her. Jackson did the same thing once he saw what Lilly was doing.

"This isn't a negotiation," Miley continued. "I didn't bring you here to ask your opinions. I brought you here to tell you that I'm quitting. Deal with it."

"Robby, darling, she doesn't mean that," Candice said, pouting. She draped herself over his shoulder and Lilly could barely keep her lip from curling in disgust. "It's ridiculous. Tell her she can't do it."

Jackson started to say something but Miley silenced him with a brusque hand gesture. Every eye in the room fastened on Robby Ray, waiting to see what he would say. You'd better pick your words carefully, Lilly thought darkly.

"I think," he said slowly. "That Miley needs to do what's best for her, and if right now she thinks performing isn't it, then that's it. End of story."

Lilly felt some of the tension leave Miley's body and she put a hand on Miley's shoulder, squeezing it slightly. Miley turned her attention back to the other occupants of the room, Lilly and Jackson flanking her. "Juliana, can you take care of the label?" she asked.

"Fuck yes," the attorney said, her smile all teeth. "I'm gonna love telling those cocksuckers to fuck off."

Miley nodded. "Do it politely."

Candice had been whispering in Robby Ray's ear; now her voice rose to a high-pitched whine they could all hear. "But, Robby, she can't quit!"

"Now, Candice," Robby Ray started, looking embarrassed.

"But you said Hannah would put me in her next video and talk to Leonardo about me being in his new project with her!" Candice said, pulling away from him.

"That's it," Miley said grimly. Everyone looked at her but she wasn't paying them any attention. Her eyes were too busy boring holes into Candice. The tension had come back to her body, Lilly could feel it trembling slightly under her hand and she rubbed her thumb in a little circle, trying to calm her. "I've had about enough of this shit. Five million dollars, and you get the hell out of our lives and we don't have to look at the fake nose on your Botoxed, collagen-injected face anymore. One time offer."

"Miley," Robby Ray said, sounding at a loss. He looked back and forth between his daughter and his wife. "Candice."

Candice ignored him and stared at Miley for a long moment. "Fifty," she said.

Robby Ray's jawed sagged open and it looked like a light had gone out in his eyes. He let out a strangled sort of cough, as though someone had vacuumed all the air out of his lungs.

"Done," Miley said. "You'll be hearing from my lawyer. Now get out."

Candice looked at Robby Ray and shrugged. "Sorry, baby," she said. "But we had some good times, didn't we?" He blinked at her and she shrugged again and turned on her heel, striding out the door without another word or a backwards glance.

"Juliana," Miley said. "Paul."

"On it," Juliana said.

"Good ridd – " Paul glanced quickly at Robby Ray and changed what he was going to say. "I mean, I'll take care of it."

"I think we're done here," Miley said. "Go do whatever it is I pay you to do." Within a minute, the room was cleared of everyone except Lilly, Miley, Jackson and Robby Ray. Jim and Denise fairly stalked to the door, while Paul and Juliana said their goodbyes to both Miley and an unresponsive Robby Ray before leaving.

The room seemed much bigger with only the four of them in it, but somehow not quite big enough, the space between Miley and her father filled with shattered beliefs. "Why?" Robby Ray said. His voice broke at the end and he cleared his throat. "Why would you – " He stopped and shook his head.

"Daddy," Miley said. "I'm sor – "

"I think we're done here," Robby Ray cut in. Miley flinched and he went up the stairs, not looking at them.

Miley's head dropped and her shoulder stiffened into knots under Lilly's hand. "Miley," Lilly tried, and Jackson said, "Miles, it'll be okay."

Miley didn't answer, jerking away from Lilly and walking slowly across the room and out the back door. A minute later, she'd disappeared onto the beach.

———————————————

It wasn't hard to find Miley. She couldn't really go far without risking running into people and starting a riot, so Lilly figured out pretty quickly that she'd be down the beach just a bit, in a little hollow between some rocks that left you sheltered on three sides but still provided an unobstructed view of the ocean. Miley had used to go there all the time, to think about things. That usually meant she wanted to be left alone, and Lilly respected that. Up to a point.

But when an hour had gone by and Miley hadn't come back, Lilly went looking for her. She didn't want Miley sitting out there all alone stewing over what had just happened. Especially not when it was her second day back from rehab and there were about twenty bars within walking distance. If Miley got desperate enough, she might not care about starting a riot.

Besides, Lilly justified as she neared the spot on the beach, it would be dark soon. The sun was slowly sinking towards the horizon, turning the sky a brilliant orange.

"Hey," Lilly said, rounding the rocks and finding Miley sitting on the other side, knees drawn up to her chest. Lilly sat down next to her and copied her posture, resting her chin on her knees.

"Hey," Miley answered, her voice lifeless. "I really screwed everything up, didn't I? Daddy probably hates me now."

"No!" Lilly exclaimed. "Miley, no. He doesn't hate you, he's just been hurt – "

"Because I made his wife leave him," Miley said bitterly.

"Because he just found out his wife was a gold-digger who only wanted his money," Lilly corrected. "Just give him a little time, he'll be thanking you for this."

"We'll see," Miley said stubbornly.

Lilly sighed and put an arm around Miley's shoulders, pulling her closer. "It'll be okay," she said. "I promise."

Miley buried her face in Lilly's hair. "You smell good," she said.

Lilly pulled away and laughed, regarding her with extreme skepticism. "I do not. I didn't have time to take a shower. I smell like sunscreen and sweat and salt water."

"I know," Miley said. "You smell like Lilly. I missed it."

Lilly just shook her head, smiling a little. She'd call Miley crazy, but she knew herself how you could miss things here, stupid things, things you never thought you would. "Are you sure?" she asked. "About quitting Hannah, I mean."

"Yes," Miley said. She picked up a broken seashell and started tracing random patterns in the sand with it. Lilly almost prodded her to elaborate, but a look at Miley's face decided her against it.

"I told you before," Miley said after a minute, "that I haven't done a concert sober in a year. I'm not sure if I know how to do it clean anymore." She paused. "But besides that..." She trailed off and jabbed the seashell into the sand, gouging out a thin, deep trench. "For a long time, singing, performing, it was what kept me going after I got here. But, more and more, after I started drinking, it just felt...empty. Like I was going through the motions. That's why I took the Ecstasy when Traci gave it to me, why I kept taking it. It made me feel connected again, to everyone, just for a little while. Then I'd come down and I'd be alone again, and I'd take a drink to make myself forget." She stopped and dug the trench longer and a little deeper.

"And I can't...," she continued. "I can't do this, I can't learn how to live sober again with everyone watching. It's too much pressure. I don't think I'm strong enough to give them what they want and hold onto myself at the same time." She jabbed the shell into the sand several times. Lilly waited to see if she'd say anything else.

"I just need to stop," Miley said finally. "I need to stop being Hannah and remember what it's like to be me."

"Okay," Lilly said. "Then that's what we'll do."

Miley tossed the shell away, used her hand to push the sand she'd displaced back into the gash, smoothing it over. "Thanks," she said. The corners of her mouth turned up the tiniest bit as she looked at Lilly, then she turned her head to stare out at the ocean and the red ball sun that was inches away from dipping into it.

"So what about your hair?" Lilly asked, tangling her fingers in it and tugging lightly. "Are you gonna dye it back?"

Miley's smile was bigger this time. "No," she decided. "At least, not right away. I think I'll wait a few months until people start to forget about me and then do it. Maybe that way I'll be able to go out without getting recognized all the time. It would be nice to be able to walk down the street without getting mobbed."

"Yeah," Lilly agreed. She mirrored Miley and looked out at the waves, which were reflecting the orange and purple of the sky. They had their whole lives in front of them, she realized. And here, where they didn't have parental expectations they were obligated to fulfill, and with Miley quitting Hannah, those lives were as wide open as the ocean in front of them. They could do anything, anything at all. It was strangely freeing.

"What are we going to do?" Lilly asked.

"What?" Miley said.

"I was just thinking that we still have our whole lives to go," Lilly said. "And no one can tell us what to do with them. Not our parents, not your agent, not even Angel. We have to decide for ourselves. It's kind of weird to think about."

"It's scary," Miley said. Which was also true.

"Yeah," Lilly said. She reached over and took Miley's hand, threading their fingers together, and they watched as the sun set into the water. "But we'll figure it out. You and me. Together."

———————————————

END

———————————————

All right, there you go. I hope you guys liked it. Still have questions? Well, gosh. I guess you'll just have to read the sequel then, won't you?

Speaking of, you're gonna have to give me a few weeks on that. I've got a whole lot of school/job#1/job#2/family crap coming my way in the next couple weeks, starting...right after I post this, actually. Fun! (And I just spent yesterday sending out applications for job#3, because HI I'M CRAZY. Clearly.) Plus the sequel is going to be much, much longer than this was, and I need some time to gear up for that. And I would like to be able to, you know. Read fic. At some point.

I'll try to put up a couple oneshots if I get a chance, but if not, thanks again for reading and I'll see y'all in October.