Do not own Sailor Moon.

What would happen if the world turned its back on you, if everyone you knew betrayed you in some way? Well I hope you never have to live through that experience, the loneliness is almost too much too bear at times. I have experienced all of this first hand. So listen to my story and try to get an understanding of my life, no my lives. Walk through my lives and try to understand what has happened to me.

Ch. 1 Up to Date

What would you do if the world turned its back on you? After saving it countless times, going so far as to die for everyone you love and care for, even total strangers. Just so they can live peaceful lives, sleep in there warm beds knowing the world is safe, but what do I get in return, just think about it. All I get for my efforts is a nice bloody stab in the back.

I get yelled at every day by at least one person, the crap beat out of me at least once a week by a monster and abandoned by my own family. Well they didn't do it on purpose, my family that is. They just died in a car crash, hit by a stupid drunk driver, who by the way was the only survivor. It just had to be raining and they just had to be going to Sammy's school for a parent teacher conference. Most likely to get another congratulations or award from his teacher or principle. They died a week ago, on my seventeenth birthday and do you know what I hate the most? They forgot what day it was.

Don't get me wrong I don't blame my brother, I would never blame him, nor do I blame my parents. I've seen that happen too many times already by other families. No if anyone is to blame it is me, if I had only been there. I could have made a difference; I could have saved them with the crystal. Instead I decided to be selfish that night and stay home and practice my guitar. One night I made the choice to put myself before others and now I will pay for it. Everyday for the rest of my life I will live with my guilt.

I made a promise to myself the minute I received the news of their death. I promised myself to never place my own being before anyone. I promised myself to never be selfish. To always put friends and strangers before me and you never know, maybe I'll be able to put my family before myself in another life time.

The only thing I can be thankful for is they died on impact. It was a head on collision and the airbags didn't go off, causing my parents to die of broken necks. The drunk driver's truck flipped over and crushed the back side of their car crushing my brother. Slowly the truck went into flames and both cars exploded. Thankfully the drunk got out in time, but now he faces third degree man slotter. That's really the only thing I can be thankful for; they died quickly and painlessly.

The child care people came by and checked to make sure I could take care of myself, and I could. I just had to sign a couple of papers stating I was now an adult at the age of seventeen. My parents left me a little money not much, just enough to use in emergencies, good thing or I would have had to go to the orphanage for lack of financial support. Still, I knew that the money wouldn't last forever, so naturally I had to get a job, at this small café a couple of blocks away from the school. It's not very popular with my friends so I believe it will be safe there to work without being caught. Plus the tips and pay are good, well good enough by my standards. That left only one problem. The house that I had grown up in would have to be sold. I couldn't afford it. So I sold the house and moved into a small apartment near the school.

Try juggling school, work, and being a super heroin. I bet you all think the stress is getting to me, for I Usagi, the klutzy cry baby of the school, couldn't be a senshi. Yep I am the one and only Sailor Moon, leader of the Sailor Senshi, defender of love and justice. Or that's what I used to be; now I am only Sailor Moon. No more love and justice, we all know there not really real.

Anyway add all the drama of my family's sudden death, plus a cheating boyfriend and finally friends who don't care about me, to the list of things I have to juggle. My life is pretty hectic more than any normal teen would need to worry about.

Yes, my friends only care about bringing me down, just to make them feel better, or just to cause me pain maybe? Ether way they can't bring me any lower. I've gone numb already. Even as I sit here in the pouring rain, trying to sort out my thoughts, I've been doing that a lot since the crash; the water has no affect on me. It just slides down, joining the small puddles that have already started to form. Not even a twitch is made, like I said I've gone numb.

Rei, one of my so called friends, made it clear today that I am worthless, just like she does every day. Even my own future daughter agreed with her, my own flesh and blood thinks I am worthless, along with the rest of the inner senshi and my soon to be ex-boyfriend.

Can you believe she used to be one of my closest friends, Rei, well that's what she wanted everyone to think. She was planning to back stab me like everyone else sooner or later. They all think they should be the leader when really I could care less. Take it for all I care, it does nothing but bring stress and despair.

I wonder what the outers would think if they knew what was going on, I wouldn't doubt they would feel the same way. They all talk behind my back, complaining or insulting me. They think I'm too stupid to notice. Well all I can do is put on my fake smile and move forward and hope that this torture will end soon.

Friends have your back anytime anywhere; friends through thick and thin. Well guess what, I haven't even told them about my family. They just believe I have a perfect life; spoiled rotten to my hearts content. They wouldn't think much of it anyway even if I told them. So what's the point in wasting my breath and their time?

Finally after a couple of hours, I get off the rusted swing set in the deserted park. The yoma we fought, long dusted, tonight was attacking civilians here again trying to gather energy for Queen Beryl. It's well past midnight, and I have school in the morning. Though I get the feeling I'm being watched. Uncaring, I drag my numb, worn-out body home. Well if you consider a cramped apartment with no family one.

Review if you want.