Summary: 'The bells are loud today. (L, Raito, and the things they never said or did)
Warning: L/Raito implications, L/Raito in action (sort of), badfic, OOC, you know. The usual.
Extra Caution: MUCH SUCK AHEAD. D: First Death Note…
the bells
He doesn't know what to think.
'Kira, Kira, Kira.' The bells are loud today. He can see them out of the corner of his eyes, just barely out of sight as they swing heavily in the tempestuous winds, the raindrops splattering against the great bronze masses hard and fast as they descend from the heavens (like a divine judgment).
'Kira, Kira, Kira.'
He's always heard the bells.
He will always hear the bells.
They were, are, will always be, but still
…Only he hears the bells. He thinks that maybe, just maybe Raito might have heard them too, before he took the forbidden fruit (an apple, naturally) and became one of Them.
It is his sworn duty to vanquish Them, and he wishes just this once that he could shirk his given duty.
'Kira, Kira, Kira.'
the truth
Raito, Raito, Raito.
Raito who loves apples and wild thunderstorms and himself and never backs down first, Raito who savours the crisp, tangy taste ('juicy' he said, smiled a tight ironic sort of grimace) and watches the rain outside for hours one end (one pale hand on the thick bulletproof glass windowpane, fingers splayed out as if he is envisioning melting through to become one with the falling droplets, like a Shinigami himself) and preens in the mirror and always gives his best shot.
Raito of the mysterious half-smiles and half-glances and the hot temper underneath the perfect façade, who laughs and cries and lies but it's all fake he's rotting it's killing him I can tell can I save him is he deserving no god but Kira no choice
That is Raito.
'Kira, Kira, Kira.'
watching you
He watches Raito always.
Raito is defensive about his hair, hates when people assume it's dyed or that he's mixed. L finds it oddly cute, and has to stop himself from time to time opening his mouth to make some witty jab or another about the hair, just to see him huff and scowl and later (when he thinks no one is watching) pat down his hair uncertainly in the bathroom, peering nervously at the mirror and pouting when he finds nothing wrong.
Raito likes to look his best at all times, but L thinks he looks best rubbing his eyes and yawning early in the morning, trying to get up, when his hair is tousled and his drowsy eyes at half mast, when the sun hits his head just like that and he makes a sleepy gesture as though to swat away the light (ironic that the same is happening as Kira brushes off remnants of Light) that spins the reddish straw of his hair into gold like that one fairy tale L had allowed himself to read in his childhood, when he'd still been in such a hurry to grow up and be heard (at the end, the injustice of the little man to whom the miller's daughter owed her life and happiness to ripping himself into two, tricked by the conniving new queen and never recompensed for his great work, had dissatisfied him at the same time it ran irrational, foreboding shivers up his spine).
'Kira, Kira, Kira.'
good morning, raito-kun
His whole face is illuminated then, bronze eyes fluttering open on a canvas of creamy pale, tennis tan gone from staying indoors for so long. His eyelashes are long, darker a few shades than that hair, auburn strands fanning so carelessly over snow-white pillow.
(L loves Raito's hair.)
One night Raito had a nightmare (he'd never found out what about), and in between bouts of comforting the younger man (slipping spidery fingers through masses of delicate web-silk, soperfect, Raito's body clutched close to his, whispered words neither heard and silent ones they both did)
…He couldn't help it.
L still has that small tress of dark mahogany satin-silk. Raito didn't move a muscle throughout the whole procedure, even as he isolated his favourite wisp of sepia and separated it meticulously from its brethren with his pocket-knife, and L wishes he would just say something, say anything, to defy the oppressive mocking silence as it sing-sang a prophecy (confessnowpleaseiwillkeepyousafe).
He likes to think Raito knew, but he doubts it. Raito doesn't know anything.
They're both children, really, which makes the whole affair more-than-slightly ludicrous.
'Kira, Kira, Kira.'
sunlight is your colour, i think
Raito is beautiful out of the sun and exquisite in (and too ugly either way), and L half-expects to see bloody-torn wings trailing behind as the boy takes that last step across the entryway into the rest of the world. They are grocery shopping for headquarters; it's their turn this week.
Raito is outside, sulking about the fact that he is cuffed to the 'Please Leave All Pets Secured Outside' sign ("…again, that utter bastard, why did I ever agree to this? Honestly…"), and as L stands at the register and gazes upon Raito through the over-sized glass windows his breath catches in his throat and he half-imagines that, if he leaves Raito outside long enough, he will blaze and blaze in the burning light until there is no Kira left, only Raito, and then maybe they could have a happy ending. Their happy ending.
Then he shakes his head, banishes his wistful fantasies, pays the cashier, and departs.
He's been doing a lot of things by halves lately, and it's not like him, but it's all Raito's fault anyway. His heart murmurs to slow down, and his mind screams to speed up, and they sound alike to L, and equally impossible.
'Kira, Kira, Kira.'
the second truth (the one you don't like to face)
Raito, Raito, Raito.
Raito who hates apples and wild thunderstorms and himself and always backs down first, Raito who shies away from the dry crumbling sand-flavour and clings to L under the covers (fingers tightening in grip with every strike of lightning he can't join) and handles the gun with an almost sick fascination staring with desire down the barrel, I'm sorry but
Raito of the detached intensity and cynical smirks who acts too much, feels too little, but L's hardly one to talk, and maybe some of it was real, he can't tell and it's all percentages, safe numbers and calculations that distract him from the fact that this isn't just another predictable, easy replaceable. Treacherous, magnificent, a gamble, an anti-puzzle, a gorgeous enigma, intoxicating (and when he smiles I can't think)…
That is Raito.
'Kira, Kira, Kira.'
one night in japan
"Kiss me," Raito commands, and L cannot resist those eyes, that soul burned black, laid bare.
So they kiss, and what if it goes a little further, and a little further still? If clothes start to be peeled off and discarded by grasping, eager hands, and breaths quicken and the room takes on the scent of sweat with the distinct overtone of copulation, and moans and screams of pleasure replace the terrible silence for once…well, what of it?
They lie next to each other, not quite panting, and Raito says, "Thank you."
They fall asleep, and they wake up the next morning, and they get back to work, Kira hanging over their heads like some sort of monstrous pink elephant.
They never speak of it again, and it never happens again.
'Kira, Kira, Kira!'
famous last words
A whisper behind, as L leaves the rooftop, and though it is not intended to be heard (only to be said, for the sake of being said) the bells pause just long enough for the words to impact.
"Aishiteru…L Lawliet."
It is over, and the bells remain.
He had known they would, ever since poisonous blood tainted honeyed depths once more, ever since Raito was no longer beautiful.
'Kira, Kira, Kira…'
"Aishiteru…L Lawliet."
'Aishiteru, Yagami Raito. You are Kira.'
It's not so bad.
(but if L-ryuzaki-ryuuga-liar-Lawliet could have one last wish, he would ask for Raito to be beautiful again.)
A/N: I'm sorry it sucked so much. I thought I could pull it off somehow, since it sounded so gloriously awesome in my head….but I guess it wasn't meant to be. ;; I'm sorry, plunny.
'Aishiteru' means 'I love you forever', I think. I know that 'ai' is love and 'shiteru' is forever, and the two together is a confession of love, so it made sense to me.
I know the characterizations are horribly butchered and I've done all sorts of unforgivable to the English language, but please, my first foray into the Death Note fandom!
…I haven't even seen the anime yet…I just loved the manga so much I had to write something for it. Then this plunny latched on…and I just couldn't say no to its big staring L-eyes. D: