Author's note: I apologize for the first fifteen or so items of the last two lists and the fact that they are the same. I basically found the fifth list partway completed, not knowing it was the fourth, and added items from there. If I can think of a few more, I'll fix it, and put new items up. But for now, forgive me, and enjoy the Sixth one.
I am not allowed to make "Orochimaru - Micheal Jackson" jokes anymore.
By the way, Orochimaru isn't dead and it was not Kabuto's fault.
It's not called the Ramengan
Tel l Temari "Fan me slave girl."
I will not tell Ino she has swine flu
I will not have Lee's eyebrows off
I will not then subsequently tape them back on as a mustache.
I will not walk into an alley and cry "Oh, Sasuke, don't touch me there!" while Sakura and Ino are around
I will not sneak sake into Tsunade's drink during peace meetings.
Deidara is never allowed to use the phrase "Talk to the hand"
I will not tell Sakura I saw pictures of her kissing Ino…and TenTen…and Hinata, on the internet.
I will not tell Sasuke that I saw pictures of her kissing Ino…and TenTen…and Hinata, on the internet.
I will not tell Naruto that since the Kyuubi is in his bellybutton, technically, it rapes him every three seconds.
Hagrid is not allowed to befriend the nine-tailed fox…
Or name it Fluffy
I will not convince anyone that the Hoedown Throwdown is a jutsu
Itachi's problem is not that he "needs to get laid"
On that note, I will not offer to help him.
Itachi does not wish to appear in a visene commercial
Kisame is not a freaky fish guy.
I am not allowed to pour salt on Tsunade's giant slug
I am not allowed to tell Kakashi that Tobi is Obito if I don't know for sure.
I will not get pizza delivered while on missions. Especially super-secret missions…In the Sound Village.
Even if I get enough for everyone
I will not send Sasuke friend requests from Itachi over Facebook.
I will not take naked pictures of Iruka and slip them into Kakashi's book.
I will not replace all the boys outfits with Sailor moon outfits
I will not give Jiraiya the key to the Playboy mansion
I will not push Gaara in the pool
I will not lock Sasuke and Naruto in a closet…and then tell them to come out.
I will not put live goldfish in Naruto's ramen…He'll eat them.
I will not yell Kamehameha every time Naruto uses the Rasengan
I will not tell Sasuke he's adopted
I will not step on Kabutos glasses, and then try to fix them by using Oculus Repairo
I will not refer to Shino as "Lord of the Flies"
The Chunin exam stadium is not to be used for gladiator fights
Or for feeding Christians to lions.
I am not allowed to comment on Gaara'a giant "peanut".
I am not allowed to transform into Sasuke and sing "Fat-bottomed Girls" around Ino.
I will not use copies of Naruto as traffic cones, so that I can practice for the maneuverability test.
Especially if I'm a bad driver.
I will not prank call Akatsuki Hideout.
Ninjas fight using stealth, they don't run into battle screaming "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JJJJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSS!
It doesn't matter that it works for Naruto, I still can't do it.
I will not switch Sasuke's Prozac with Naruto's Ritalin
I will not start any conversation with Gaara by saying "You know, your sister blew me so hard…"
I will not tell Hinata that Naruto is dead
I will not tell her that Neji killed him.
I will not follow Sasuke around and sing "Burning up" by the Jonas Brothers everytime he uses the fire-style jutsu.
If and when Naruto becomes Hokage, and is giving an acceptance speech, I will not grab the microphone and say " Yo, Imma let you finish but, TSUNADE WAS THE BEST HOKAGE THIS YEAR!"