Welcome back!! XDD
Yanagi looked at the paper... but... he failed to see anything. No, it's not because he didn't open his eyes or because he is blind... it's because... nothing was written on the paper. Well, hardly anything. Because... it was written in invisible ink! How did he know? Ah... because being the data man he is, Yanagi knows everything! Including when Atobe runs out of pens. Ahh!! How terrifying!!
"Mm, according to MY data... what's written on this, I don't know." Yanagi sadly announced, then nodded thoughtfully, "Mm, Sadaharu."
"Well, since you don't know," Atobe smirked triumphantly, "According to ORE-SAMA's data, Ore-sama's name is written on it!" He flipped his hair.
"Oh!" Yanagi gasped, and fell to ground dramatically. "NOO!! Help me, SADAHARU!!!" He shouted to the skies... and when he saw Sadaharu's face amongst the clouds, a glimmering ray of hope dawned on his darkened soul, "OH!!! SADAHARU!!! MY LIGHT OF HOPE!!!"
Back to where the Seigaku regulars were running their laps...
"A-CHOOOOOO!!!" Inui sneezed loudly and dramatically.
"Eww, that's disgusting, Inui-senpai." Ryoma complained.
Inui sniffed as he continued running, "According to MY data...." He paused, then said, " I love my data!!"
...well... back to where the Hyoutei, the Rikkai and the Shiraishi were attempting to make the Tezuka-man laugh...
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Ecstasy!!!" Shiraishi ecstasied.
"SHUT UP!!!!" Everyone screamed.
"...okay, FINE!" Shiraishi cowered in a dark corner, "Nobody was saying anything so I just decided to... say something." He sniffed, "Ohhhh, ecstasy."
"..."
"..."
Atobe walked up to Tezuka.
Tezuka backed away.
Atobe edged closer.
Tezuka took out a shield, "Ohh... Don't you attack me!! I am not scared of your machine guns!"
"..."
"..."
Kirihara pointed at the shield Tezuka was holding, "Where did THAT come from?!"
"AHAHAHA!!! BEHOLD THE AWESOME POWERS OF MY SHIELD!!! NOW YOU CAN'T ATTACK ME!! HAHAHAHA! I am such a smartist!!" The INNER Tezuka exclaimed.
(Tezuka's dictionary: SMARTIST: noun. i.e. A clever person; genius. eg. I am a smartist.)
BUT! What the OUTER Tezuka said was, "Awesome powers shield attack!"
"..."
"..."
"What . The . Fuck?!?!?" Gakuto stared at Tezuka.
"Oi! Tezuka-man!! Ore-sama demands you to laugh! Laugh! Or you shall get one thousand dollars!"
"..."
"..."
"...what the fuck?!" Gakuto stared at Atobe.
"..."
"...Dude! Stop swearing at Ore-sama! Or you shall get one thousand dollars!"
"..."
"..."
"What the fuck?"
"What?"
"What the fuck?!?!"
"...Ahh... It's okay, Ore-sama knows that Ore-sama is sooooo charming that you cannot stop staring... and swearing."
"WHAT THE FUCK?! Dude, go ta hell!"
"..."
"..."
"...No, Ore-sama shall not go to hell, because Ore-sama shall go to heaven, but Ore-sama shall not go to heaven, because Ore-sama shall not die! Why? Because Ore-sama is immortal! And Ore-sama is charming and has charming toes! So the angels in heaven shall be awed by Ore-sama's prowess, so Ore-sama has toes, and shall not go to hell, because Ore-sama has a fish. And the fish has toes, and it doesn't live in water because it is a dog, so it is awesome and so, Ore-sama shall not die, therefore, Ore-sama shall not go to heaven, and Ore-sama shall not go to hell, because Ore-sama eats eels and has toes, thus, Ore-sama is smuert..." And... Atobe started ranting again...
"Ahh... Sadaharu!!" Yanagi spread his arms out dramatically in front of him, "Thank you for your ray of hope!!"
Back to where the Seigaku regulars were running their laps... (Wait, they still haven't finished?!)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-choo." Inui sneezed again.
"EWW!" Everyone, except Fuji, shrieked and gave him grossed out looks.
"Ah, you've got skills, Inui." Fuji observed calmly. "First it was 'a-choooooo' then it was 'aaaaaaaa-choo', very skillful indeed."
"Thank you, Fuji," Inui said calmly.
...back to where the 'make-Tezuka-man-laugh mission' was held...
"So," Yanagi cleared his throat. "Tezuka-man, please laugh."
("STOP COPYING 'TEZUKA-MAN' FROM MEEE!!" Kirihara weeped. Aww....)
"NO! I shall NOT laugh! Because I am awesome, not like you, like my mom!" The INNER Tezuka shrieked. BUT! What the OUTER (actual) Tezuka said, was...
"I am not my mom!!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...riiiiiight....?" Niou raised his eyebrow.
Atobe also raised his eyebrow, "Yes, you're not your mom, because Ore-sama is also not Ore-sama's mom, because Ore-sama has toes, so Ore-sama is not Ore-sama's mom. And Ore-sama eats eels and Ore-sama's toes are smuert and charming and awesome because Ore-sama has a fish that doesn't live in water and has toes, and it is a dog, so Ore-sama is not Ore-sama's mom..." And on and on and on....
"Laser beam." Yagyuu said randomly.
"A gunshot." Kirihara added.
"Cool." they both said.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Yagyuu-senpai, let's say that again." Kirihara said.
"..yeah, sure." Yagyuu nodded.
"..."
"..."
"...laser beam..." Yagyuu began... but...
"FIRE!!!" Jackal suddenly cut in.
Pshoo!! Yagyuu fired a laser beam.
"YOU IDIOT!!" Everyone screamed.
"...he told me to fire." Yagyuu pointed at Jackal.
"..."
Beep. Jackal stopped working.
"..."
"Tezuka-man," Yanagi turned to Tezuka formally. "If you would kindly laugh, I shall give you a toffee."
"OHHH!!! GIVE ME TOFFEE, DATA MAN, GIVE ME TOFFEE!!" The INNER Tezuka screamed, but the OUTER Tezuka said...
"Give me data man!!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"NO!" Yanagi said determinedly, "I shall not give you Sadaharu!!"
"Renji," Yukimura patted Yanagi on his back, "Inui is in Seigaku, and Tezuka is his buchou."
Yanagi stiffened and turned around to face Yukimura with teary eyes (his eyes are still closed, by the way...), "Oh...." he gasped, "You're right, buchou! Why... why haven't I thought of that?!"
Yukimura sighed and shook his head, "I'm sorry, Renji."
"Ohh!!!" Yanagi cried to the skies, "God! Gods! Goddesses! Why are you doing this to me?!"
"...laser beam." Yagyuu suddenly commented.
"FIRE!" Gakuto said.
"NO! I shall not fire!"
"...awww..." Gakuto pouted, "I don't have the awesome abilities to make them fire, unlike Jackal..." And he went to sulk in a dark, and creepy, and gloomy, and emo, and sinister, and evil corner of woe.
"YOU!!" Atobe suddenly stopped his rants and pointed at Yanagi. "YOU HAVE FAILED ORE-SAMA!!! AND NOW! YOU SHALL FACE THE DREADFUL CONSEQUENCES!!"
And so... Atobe stabbed Yanagi in the stomach with a knife... a polished, and shiny, and glimmering, and sparkling, and big, and sharp knife...
"...wahh...!!!" Everyone stared at him with big, round eyes.
"But Ore-sama shall not kill Ore-sama because Ore-sama has not failed Ore-sama, because Ore-sama had not, will not and cannot fail Ore-sama, because Ore-sama has toes. And Ore-sama eats eels, and no charming, and beautiful, and awesome being such as Ore-sama can ever fail Ore-sama, so Ore-sama had not, will not, and cannot fail Ore-sama, because Ore-sama has toes, really charming toes, so Ore-sama shall not, had not, will not, and cannot fail Ore-sama..." Atobe ranted, then, "...Who's next?" He demanded.
"OH ME! ME! ME!" Gakuto exclaimed.
"...No." Atobe said, "A person from Rikkai should draw a piece of charming paper from the charming Ore-sama's charming box."
"Awww..." Gakuto pouted.
"Well?" Atobe demanded, "Who's next?"
Everyone from Rikkai took a BIG step backward, everyone except Jackal, why? Ahh... It's because... he stopped working and is unable to move...
"YOU!" Atobe pointed at Jackal, who was now standing in front of his fellow teammates. "YOU are next! Pick a charming piece of paper from Ore-sama's charming box!"
Beep. Jackal started working.
"..."
''..."
"...eh?" Jackal, who had just started working, tipped his head.
"...Ore-sama demandes that you pick a paper out of Ore-sama's box!"
"...ah..." And so, Jackal went up and took out a slip of paper from Atobe's box, it was a five centimeter by five centimeter piece of paper, and Jackal was wondering whose name was written on it...
x. Omake .x
"What the fuck is happening?!" Shishido walked up to them.
"AH!!" Kirihara pointed his AWESOME ACCUSING finger at Shishido, "How did you come back?! Didn't Atobe blast you off with a tank?!"
"Then how did YOU come back?!" Marui popped up behind Shishido.
"Well, WE," Kirihara pointed at Oshitari... who... just stood there. "Only got our wigs blown off, not our heads."
"Ohh..." Marui nodded, then looked at Kirihara, "Wait. You wear wigs?!"
"...just for fun." Kirihara said.
"Because once when we were shopping, we saw these wigs that was the EXACT same as our hair styles, so we bought them." Oshitari clarified.
"To protect our heads." Kirihara added.
"It worked." Oshitari nodded.
"..."
"..."
"...both of you went shopping?!" Shishido stared at them.
"...that's creepy." Marui said.
...to be continued...
Umm... yeah... XDD