I know, I haven't updated anything in a horribly long time. But hey, I have an excuse that can be summed up within two words. And those words happen to be 'freshman year'. (headdesk)

But anyway. I present to you another pointless little collection of Things I am Not Allowed to do in The Musain. Enjoy. :D

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I am not allowed to ask why Grantaire has an afro in the Tenth Anniversary Concert.

Nor will I ask him to disco.

I will not make ceremonial cape out of Enjolras's red flag and use it in my pagan Mizzy worshipping sacrifices performed under a full moon.

I am not allowed to write song parodies involving upbeat melodies and Cosette attempting to make Eponine 'popular'.

…because Eponine doesn't give a rat's arse what shoes to wear, how to fix her hair, everything that really counts to be popular.

I won't change the position of pebbles in Cosette's garden just to freak her out.

I am not allowed to get Javert a Christmas present I know he will hate.

…Especially if it is a puppy.

…Named Snookums.

I will not ask why Gavroche and Eponine have seemingly identical hats in the musical.

I will not give a ten page long death speech to comrades on the barricade just to climb down and call it quits for the week.

I am not allowed to observe Javert's snuff and call him a crackhead.

I am not allowed to, while writing fanfiction, type everything Enjolras says in sexy calligraphy style font while everyone else's quotations are subject to the usual Times New Roman.

I will not proclaim to Javert that I would indeed like his hat.

Valjean will not appreciate the subject of debate being whether or not he has facial hair in the novel.

Dropping a chandelier on the National Guard never solved anything.

I will stop making random musical references in my parodies.

I will not try to pry a three-page inspirational speech from Combeferre, and I will acknowledge that they cannot be done on cue.

I will not question why, in classic literature, the blondes are always turned into brunettes in their musicals…

I am not allowed to giggle every time I say 'bread' within hearing distance of Valjean.

I am not allowed to blame Grantaire as a bad influence if I ever get drunk.

Technically, I am not even allowed to be in the Musain in the first place, so this list is essentially pointless.

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…and there you have it. More to come as I think of them. Or as soon as my Biology homework doesn't hate me. XD