Summary:

For xXxFrostyIceCubexXx Ultimately, it was her choice. Passing aside the moral stand points, there was no place for a child in Uzumaki Naruto's life. ItaNaru, FemNaru.

Pairing:

ItaFemNaru (for some it is Itachi x Female Naruto)

Dedicated to:

xXxFrostyIceCubexXx

Warnings:

Mentions of surgical procedures, thoughts on both pro/anti - abortion

Termination

Abortion; The intentional termination of pregnancy by killing and expelling an embryo or a foetus

Ultimately it had been her choice, through and through, and no one could hold it against her. Passing aside the moral stand points of the world's various religions and humanity itself, there was no place for a child in Uzumaki Naruto's life.

Upon visiting the GP, he had called in two other doctors to hear her case. She needed two doctors – at least – to agree to the abortion before referring her to the NHS where she would be able to book the abortion and undertake if for free.

"I believe that bringing this child into the world would bring nothing but pain to it."

The doctors had waited patiently for Naruto to continue and she took a deep breath.

"I have just gained a position that I am comfortable with in my work life and having this baby would mean giving that up. I know that I could file for benefits from the government but I… I can't raise a child alone."

The doctors knew Naruto's home life and her background; she had been an orphan from an early age and abused at the orphanage she was entrusted to. Finally – at the age of fifteen – Naruto had spoken about the abuse and a concerned teacher at her school had taken her in. They understood that Naruto would not be able to love the child as she should, would not be able to care for it in such a way and that this pregnancy qualified for medical termination because it could damage the mother's mental health.

"We all agree, Naruto, would you like us to place the call and get in touch with you?"

Naruto nodded thankfully and resisted the urge to touch her stomach. Although there was no visible swell, when she had found out that she was with child, the only fascination she held that night was cupping her belly, imagining how large it would grow.

Except that it wouldn't; not anymore. She was ten weeks pregnant and the baby - not a baby, it was not alive so it could not be a baby – would be gone from her life in less than a month.

"Thank you doctor."

Two days later, Naruto received a call from the doctor who passed on the number of a surgery where she could get it on the NHS. Thanking them, Naruto hung up the phone and slid to the floor, pen and pad clutched in her hand as her whole body shook. It was a shock; soon she would be rid of the baby – the parasite – within her, so soon that she couldn't control the trembles.

The door of the apartment clicked open and someone dropped a bag on the floor before running over to Naruto.

"Naruto! Come on Naruto, calm down and tell me what happened."

Naruto felt someone wipe something wet across her cheeks and looked blankly into her roommate's green eyes.

"S-Sakura…"

The pink haired woman drew her closest friend into a tight hug as she continued to cry. It wasn't until two hours that Naruto finally wiped her eyes and looked blearily up at Sakura. The woman was always there for here, even with her busy schedule at the hospital where she worked. She didn't know about the baby inside of her roommate but had held her the night her pregnancy was confirmed – at six weeks, she knew that for sure – and when she had decided to get an abortion – eight weeks. Was it a two week gap thing? Would she, for every two weeks from now on while she carried the burden of the entity within her, break down and cry on Sakura for the night?

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan." She sniffed and wiped her whisker-tracked cheeks void of tears before standing up, paper clutched in her hand.

"What's that?"

Naruto glanced down at the paper and sighed; Sakura deserved to know the truth, after all she would be going through a lot of changes soon and Sakura would eventually pin it together; the woman worked at a hospital and probably knew everything there was to know about abortions.

"I… I'm going to have an abortion Sakura."

Naruto stared at the floor, refusing to look Sakura in the eye. She couldn't bear for the woman to look at her as if she was judging some teenage whore who had got herself knocked up for the twentieth time because of her own stupidity. Though, in truth, it had been stupidity; stupidity on Naruto's behalf for simply shrugging her shoulders when it was revealed that there was a split in the lining of the latex condom.

After all, it hadn't happened to her when she lost her virginity so why should she worry about getting pregnant.

But, of course, it had happened and now she had to suffer the consequences; either bring up a baby in completely unsuitable positions that would not only hinder her life but the baby's own or terminate the pregnancy before she had a chance to realise fully that what was inside her, the foetus living off of her, depending on Naruto for every need, was a baby.

"You… you're pregnant?"

Naruto looked up, blue crystal locking with jade stone and she turned her face away in pain. Sakura strode forwards, grabbing the twenty one year old by her shoulders and looking her straight in the eye.

"Naruto… listen to me. It's not the end of the world, you're pregnant and that's what women are supposed to become if they so wish it. I have spoken to patients that have undergone the termination process and it crushes them, especially their first." Sakura knew that not all patients were crushed by the loss of their child through forced means but she couldn't just say that to Naruto now.

"Sakura, you don't understand! I can't have this baby… I can't have this baby because if I did then I would go crazy. Unless you are blind, you would have noticed that the only person aside from you who cares for me is Iruka and he'll hardly be happy to see me shoving a wailing child his way."

By this time, Naruto's eyes had glazed over and she spoke with more authority, more conviction and anger than she had in four weeks. Sakura let her hands slide down the Uzumaki's arms and she took a step back.

"I know it's your body, Naruto, but more people care for you than just me and Iruka. Does the father of the child inside of you even know you are pregnant? Don't you think he has a right in what happens? The child is part of him too."

Sakura walked off then, the bag she had dropped earlier laying forgotten in the hallway. Naruto scrunched up her face and, once again, resisted the urge to reach out to the foetus – her baby – inside of her, choosing to clench her fists into tight balls as she padded steadily to her room.

Deep within her, Naruto knew. Naruto knew what Sakura had said about the baby being only half hers was true; it took two people, two gametes, to make a child and Uzumaki Naruto could not just let a half decision be the one she would think about for the rest of her life.

That night, Naruto lay on her bed, staring listlessly up at the ceiling in some form of vague hope that it would just fall down and crush her so that she would not have to think about this anymore.

No woman wants an abortion. Either she wants a child or she wishes to avoid pregnancy.

Naruto knew that she wouldn't find the father of the baby at his house; technically he was away on official business work, or something, yet she knew his Personal Assistant would be at the office so she headed over there, counting as she passed three mother and child shops, resisting the urge to enter and look at the varying stages of pregnancies in so many women.

Stages that she would never reach with her own pregnancy because, in one week, exactly seven days, she would be getting the parasite removed. That was what it was, wasn't it? A parasite? It leeched off of her for basic needs and lived inside of her… one could argue that the unwanted foetus was little better than a tape worm or leech.

But it was a baby… her baby, if she allowed it. Would it have her eyes? Would it be a girl or a boy? Naruto would never find out unless… unless…

"Ah, Ms Uzumaki! How can I be of assistance?"

Naruto smiled blankly at the blond in front of her and bit her lip. Deidara looked anxiously at the young woman before looking her up and down.

"Come and sit down, Naruto, you don't look as if you're in the best of conditions today."

Naruto gratefully followed the man out of the room and came to a seating area with plush red sofas. The stark red against the white carpet and walls made Naruto wonder if there would be blood when the foetus was removed, if the blood would be such a taunt as this sofa was.

"I need to speak to Itachi."

Deidara paused in pouring the coffee and looked sharply over at Naruto. He knew the two had been involved in a relationship but for Naruto to sound so serious… the pair was always commended because of how good they looked together, how beautiful a pair they made.

And both of them would agree with that… but with this parasite? Naruto knew she would be nothing but an ink blotch upon a stark white canvas; a mess and an annoyance.

"I'll call him, do you want me to tell him it's urgent?"

Naruto nodded and gripped the polystyrene cup of lukewarm coffee tightly as Deidara passed it to her. He vanished from the room then and Naruto waited, nerves building up horrendously in the pit of her stomach; both dreading and wanting Itachi to enter.

It was a shock when the well dressed business man rounded the corner and entered the room; in all honesty Naruto had expected Deidara to come running back with a phone clutched in his hands, the explanation being something like 'Oh Itachi had to fly off to America to meet with a new associate' or something similar.

Itachi's eyes were full of worry for Naruto as he sat next to her, clutching her hands as if she were slipping away from him.

"I-I didn't expect you back…"

"I meant to see you last night but being away from home for ten weeks and jet lag were against me. Deidara said it was urgent," Itachi pressed gently. Naruto knew the man was nervous from the way that he kept stroking and gently squeezing her fingers.

"I… I'm…"

The words choked in Naruto's throat as she felt tears well up in her eyes. How could she tell the man she had been with for three years that she was not only carrying the life they had created but wanted to destroy it? Itachi would surely leave her for that but… it would be better than lying to him.

"I'm pregnant but I'm terminating it next week."

Why did the phrase terminating have to sound so… cold? Naruto looked desperately into Itachi's eyes, searching for her answer to the question on her mind. Itachi let go of her hands slowly and moved them so that they covered his face, the fingertips gently brushing into dark hair.

It was a long five minutes but it was only that; five minutes. Itachi looked up suddenly and spoke quietly, avoiding Naruto completely.

"I… don't understand."

"It's my choice, Itachi… I know that this baby is yours too but I can't cope with it. I can't do this and I'd have to do it alone. Don't you see? You can't be a family man and I can't allow a child to enter in such a way… Itachi?"

There was only a small nod of his head before Itachi stood up. He looked at Naruto then, eyes connecting and Naruto saw unshed tears glittering behind the eyelashes as well as the look of utter dejection, as if he had been betrayed.

"Of course, Naruto. It's your body, after all, if you want me to," Itachi paused to swallow and he finally looked away. "If you want me to, I'll come with you. You don't have to do it alone."

With that, the man whose child she was carrying, the man who she loved and who loved her in return, walked from the room and closed the door softly.

Sakura had been right; Naruto had never counted on Itachi being there for her but here he was, no longer a wealthy and sought-after business man but just Itachi, the man who had once said that he would love children of his own one day.

Which was why Naruto felt so horrible about terminating one of the only things Itachi really ever wanted.

If it isn't a baby, then you aren't pregnant, so what are you aborting?

Naruto didn't take Itachi up on his offer when she visited the clinic the first time. She was here for a general check up, the day before the scheduled date, to check that she would be okay with going through with the procedure. She would also being briefed on exactly what would happen in the following twenty four hours and that scared her more than anything; twenty four hours and she'd be free of her living parasite.

"U-Uzumaki Naruto!?"

A voice called out in disbelief and Naruto's eyes widened as she saw the doctor who would be taking her through the whole procedure, from today until tomorrow.

"Tsunade baa-chan?"

Naruto couldn't resist herself' she ran forwards ad hugged the woman. Back when she had finally confessed the abuse she was subjected to, Iruka had referred her to one of the top doctors in the area. Tsunade also had a record of being an amazing councillor and Naruto had felt strangely at ease with the older woman.

"You're here to have a termination procedure?"

Tsunade looked down in worry. They had cut connections two years ago when Naruto left Iruka's home to move in with Sakura and neither had really made the effort to keep in touch. Now that Naruto was here, Tsunade was going to make sure that the girl stayed within her sights as much as humanly possible.

"Yes… I'm not in the right circumstances at the moment."

Tsunade looked down sadly at the woman yet masked it behind a smile and places an arm around her shoulder. It was not her place to decide what this woman wanted; many women had agonised over this decision and Tsunade respected each woman who either had the courage to keep their child or end the pregnancy. It took guts to chose between giving life or taking it away and Tsunade was not one to pry into the personal situations in which each woman came in under.

Of course if there were issues that she, as a doctor and a human being, could not accept and would not accept then she would point blank refuse to perform the procedure.

"If you just want to sit down, I'll talk to you a little about what to expect tomorrow afternoon."

Naruto nodded slowly and raked her top teeth over the opposite lip.

"Because we will be performing the procedure at eleven weeks, you don't qualify for the medicated abortion but the vacuum aspiration, or what you may have heard referred to as 'the suction method'. I know that sounds scary but there is little harm to you. All that happens is a tube is inserted into the vagina and the cervix is gently stretched to allow it passage to the womb. Once the tube is inserted, we remove the pregnancy by suction and it only takes approximately a minute."

Naruto nodded slowly; she had expected some sort of operation or pills to destroy the baby within her… not to suck it out. It would have to come out from her vagina… like a normal baby should… like a live baby should.

"What… what happens after that?"

Tsunade shifted in her chair before speaking.

"It only takes an hour or so to recover and you can go home. It will not affect your ability to have a child at a later time and this will all be explained to you again tomorrow. You may experience some bleeding and pain that feels like period pain but that is normal. I will give you advice on how to reduce the risk of infection tomorrow as well as what you should do if you may have an infection. You will also need to see a doctor – preferably me – up to six weeks after the abortion to make sure that you are okay."

Tsunade noticed that Naruto was shaking slightly and laid a hand on her shoulder,

"Thousands of women have undergone this procedure, Naruto, and some may have regretted their decisions but they lived. I want you to go home tonight and decide for yourself whether or not you can carry this out tomorrow. Get a good night's rest."

Naruto nodded and left the clinic a little while later. While she didn't want to return back to the house she shared with Sakura, Iruka didn't know about the pregnancy and staying round Itachi's would be a stupid mistake after his reaction. All that was left was to go back home and ignore Sakura's pleading eyes as she asked Naruto to cancel the appointment at one-oh-five tomorrow.

She did just that and entered her dark room. There was a mirror on the door and Naruto took off her clothes until she was dressed in nothing but her underwear. It had been a shock, at first, when he breasts had felt heavier – larger and fuller – and her period had failed to come. At first she had passed it off but a niggling sensation told her to take a pregnancy test.

The doctor and her brain told her that she was six weeks pregnant. Six weeks because it had been six weeks since Itachi had left to meet a business partner and do some important work – or something – and the night before he left, the pair had been content as lovers. That night, Naruto had been so confident that the splitting of a condom could mean nothing for her yet it had been the beginning of a series of car crashes, all slamming home to the Uzumaki.

Itachi had been off securing his future and Naruto? Well she had been doing the same. This baby – the faceless, nameless thing inside of her – would ruin everything but did it really justify giving up her chance of having a family right now?

She glanced in the mirror and her hand hovered over her stomach. It wasn't flat anymore; there was a slight bump and it made the baby inside of her seem so much more real.

Of course it didn't have a name or a face yet… but it had an identity and Naruto was afraid that she'd already fallen in love with her parasitic baby.

With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet.

Naruto waited nervously, seated next to Itachi. Both held themselves taunt and neither touched each other; Naruto knew that the Uchiha would never forgive her for this and she was sure she would never forgive herself. Her baby was real now, it was growing, changing, inside of her and she was about to terminate that beauty.

"Uzumaki Naruto?"

Naruto swallowed deeply and looked at Itachi,

"You can wait here or outside the room… Tsunade said that no one but her was allowed in the room for the procedure."

Actually Tsunade hadn't said a thing but even if Itachi was allowed, seeing their baby be born – for in reality it would be born, it would enter the world from her body and in a tube – in such a way would crush him even more. Naruto knew she would have to handle it because she was the one who had made the decision in the first place. But Itachi wanted the baby, even if he hadn't said that. He wanted a family, he wanted the child to grow and bloom.

And Naruto wouldn't let it.

They walked out in silence and Itachi sat in one of the metal chairs, head bowed in his hands once again. Naruto did not comment on the way his pale hands whitened considerably as he gripped his head and walked into the door.

"Good afternoon Naruto, how are you feeling today?"

This was it; this was the room in which she would take a life away. The room in which she would free herself from the burden that would be placed upon her in little more than six months. Free from having her body change because something was alive -

Tsunade ran through the procedure details and Naruto noticed a thin tube and plastic container of liquid on the desk. Naruto was sure that there was more but the plastic container stood out; instead of a coffin, her dead baby would be buried in the liquid the could-be-Tupperware-box contained.

"Are you sure Naruto?"

"I… I'm sure."

No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off its own leg.

Itachi looked up a little as the door clicked open and a pale faced Naruto exited the room she had lost her baby – their baby – to. He didn't judge her for her choice and did at the same time. He loved Naruto and wanted nothing more than for her to be happy but… it was his baby. Was his baby. Was… his baby.

"Take care, Naruto. I want to see you in the next couple of weeks."

Tsunade smiled softly at Itachi and he looked away, too afraid that he wouldn't be able to meet the woman's eyes. Instead he placed an arm around Naruto's waist and supported some of her weight; she was tired and he suspected that, along with the procedure, Naruto hadn't got much rest the night before.

"Let's take you home then."

Itachi avoided the clock; he didn't want to know how much time had been spent in the clinic and he never wanted to. This was a day he wanted to forget but never would be able to. In the future, if he ever had a child would he wonder if this was what his first born should have looked like? Even if he had another child with Naruto would they love the baby as they should, knowing that, years before, its brother or sister died because it was simply not a good time?

"I… I want to walk."

Itachi nodded and released his grip on Naruto. He didn't even pull away when she grasped his hand and linked their fingers; even though he knew that he should just leave this woman here to deal with her choices.

And although a part of him truly wanted to do that; he still loved Naruto. He couldn't simply just let her go, no matter what she did. Maybe there would be a time in the near future when the emotions just built up too much but for now… she looked so fragile and so lost that Itachi knew he couldn't let her go.

He didn't even notice that they had entered a shop until a jingle of a bell sounded as a door was pushed open and he looked up to see smiling faces of women in various stages of their pregnancies. Itachi glanced down at Naruto and frowned at the soft look on her face, the beautiful smile that looked so motherly, so perfect – and technically so wrong – enlightening her features. Was she doing this to torture herself or just some sick twisted joke upon him?

"We need to choose lighter colours. Like yellows… we don't know if it's a boy or a girl."

Naruto looked up, almost apologetically, and gripped Itachi's hand harder.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't terminate our child Itachi. I… I want to be a mother and I want you to be a father."

Itachi's heart exploded into joy as he saw tears – not tears of sadness or depression – roll down Naruto's cheeks and her face split into the million dollar smile Itachi loved about her. He kissed her there and the couple received smiles from the nearest people, many of them couples with hands linked together.

And, ultimately, it had been her choice through and through. Naruto had chosen to keep her baby, chosen to run her hands over the growing bump and laugh when her husband – for that was what Itachi insisted upon, a reason for the termination had been that Naruto felt she had no one and Itachi needed to show her that he needed her – jerked his hand away in surprise whenever the life inside of her kicked.

There wasn't just a place for a baby in Uzumaki Naruto's life but there was a place for Itachi, for a family and for the life that they had created together.

And she was happy.

In the realm of thought every person performs innumerable abortions each minute of the waking day

Notes:

Before anyone yells at me or whatever, I would just like to say that I am neither for nor against abortion. I believe that it is every woman's right to hold her own belief about keeping or getting rid of her child and I won't judge anyone for making a choice that is personal to them. For me, this story is merely just an exploration into the world of abortion and about, most importantly, the feelings that could potentially be over running someone.

By all means, flame me on my views or moral stand points but I'm not going to change a thing about my views just to make one person or one side happy. Thank you for reading and reviews are always appreciated.

Oh and by the way, that note was mainly because I once commented on a YouTube video where someone said that 'everyone who gets an abortion should be damned to hell' and I merely pointed out that it could be circumstantial and as nice as it would be for everyone to bring up a child in a loving home, people get raped or betrayed and they just can't handle having a child at that point in time. Obviously I received abuse back and I really doubt that this person was a devout Catholic as they had previously said, after all surely they shouldn't use God's name in such profanities?

Anyway I'm rambling. Thank you for reading and criticism, comments, flames, opinions etc. are always welcome.