"I want someone provocative and talkative,
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower."

-The Curse of Curves, Cute Is What We Aim For

"Uhhhn..." Tifa put a hand to her temple, trying to quiet the throbbing. She blinked a few times, glaring at the open window and the sunshine coming through it, until she realized the window was on the wrong side of the room. She opened her eyes and looked to the other side of the bed, jumping when she was met with a pair of bright green eyes. "Aeris!" She yelped, grabbing at the blankets that weren't hers...nor were they Aeris'. Tifa's sheets were pale blue, and Aeris' were baby pink, but the sheets she was clutching were white. She glanced around the room quickly, noting the bare white walls, the only furniture besides the bed was a dresser, out of which one of the drawers had been pulled right out of, to lay on the floor, clothes spilling out. Men's clothes. Next to that, her tiny blue dress lay in a heap. Her eyes wide, she looked down at herself, to find she was wearing a man's pinstripe shirt, poorly buttoned, but hey, it was clothes.

"Hey, you! Finally awake! Get plastered without me, or what?" Aeris giggled, and Tifa only grunted in return, pulling the blankets up around her. At least they were clean.

"Where are we? This isn't your place." She had to know.

"Zack's place." Tifa frowned...why would Aeris bring her here if she was drunk? Usually she just dragged her home, or to her dorm room.

"Why're we at Zack's place?"

"That..." Aeris paused for dramatic effect, "is an excellent question. Not for me, of course, I know why I'm here. I came to fool around with my boyfriend. You, on the other hand. That is where the mystery lay." Tifa rolled her eyes.

"My head hurts too much to interpret your crazy speech, woman. Just tell me how we got here."

"Zack and I got a cab here. You, however, found a much more interesting method of travel, Tifa m'dear." She nodded, and Tifa looked threateningly at her. "Okay, okay, don't hit me! So, last night, we went clubbing, and I got a leeeetle bit drunk while you were off, apparently getting drunk without me, which I still take offense to, so I may have called Zack and told him to come get me. So he did, because he is very obedient. Apparently, his new roommate-" she giggled at that, making Tifa's eyes narrow, "-came with him, but he decided to stay at the club while Zack and I came back here." She nodded as her half of the tale was completed. "But, apparently, you got so drunk that you forgot to call anyone to rescue you, and were apparently being dragged away from the club by a most undesirable fellow, when Zack's new roommate noticed you. He went after you, and rescued you from the clutches of the bad guy, in a most dashing manner. At which point, you passed out, and he had no choice but to bring you back here. He slept on the couch so you could have the bed."

"Really?" Tifa blinked...it seemed so much more probable that Aeris would be drunk and rescued by a decent guy...Tifa usually had to punch her creeps out all on her own. "So...who is this mystery hero?"

"This is the part where you brace yourself. Because it is fate. And meant to be! And you are so, so, SO naming your children after me, bitch!" Aeris spoke with triumph, and Tifa raised an eyebrow at her, telling her to get on with it. "His name is Cloud Strife. IT'S DES-TI-NY!!" She stood up as she shouted, punching the air with triumph. Tifa sighed and covered her ears, headache intensifying as Aeris yelled. The door opened, and a mess of black hair poked inside.

"Babe? Could you not yell? You're going to make the neighbours mad. Again." Aeris covered her mouth sheepishly, and Zack retreated. Then Aeris dropped down to sit next to Tifa on the bed.

Tifa sighed, Cloud, again? Now he was rescuing her while she was drunk. Wait. Drunk? She was drunk around Cloud. She gave a moan of despair and fell back onto the pillows(which were really, really soft, she noted), and curled up into a ball. "Cloud saw me when I was drunk." She explained as Aeris leaned over her.

"It was bound to happen eventually. Why so glum?"

"Ugh, it's different for you. You just get loud and violent when you're drunk..." maybe that wasn't such a good thing, but Tifa was despairing. "I get stupid! Like, ditzy stupid, remember?"

"Hey, you get violent too! Just, dumb and violent. Oh, maybe that is a bad thing. Maybe you'd better check Cloud over for bruises...you'll have to make him strip for you...Mmm...can I watch?" Tifa turned over to glare at Aeris, who just laughed.

"Shouldn't you be feeling a lot less chipper if you were drunk last night? Where's your hangover?" She'd lived through Aeris' hangovers, more than once. Normally, they weren't so pretty.

"Moi? I have been energized by the knowledge that Tifa actually got drunk! For once! In her life!" She giggled, until Tifa pushed her off the bed and buried herself under the covers. "Well, that and industrial strength advil. You want?"

"Industrial? Where do you get that?"

"Zacky's got connections! Wait here, I'll fetch!" Aeris got up and skipped out of the room, leaving the door open. Tifa could hear her pestering Zack from here, and chuckled to herself. She returned a moment later, clutching a glass of water and two pills. "Bottoms up!" Tifa nearly swatted her for the drinking reference, then threw back the two pills and the glass of water, waiting for the relief to rush in.

"Hey, those aren't the clothes you were wearing last night." Tifa pointed out, looking at Aeris' jeans and t-shirt. Her outfit last night had been considerably sluttier.

"Aha, see, benefit of going home with you boyfriend instead of your random hero off the street. I have a drawer! I got tired of doing the walk of shame thing back to my dorm in the morning, so Zack lets me keep some clothes here."

"You have a drawer? Since when did you two get so serious?" Tifa grinned, nudging Aeris gently. Aeris blushed.

"We're not! We're totally casual! Casual, casual, boyfriend-girlfriend thing." She shrugged, and so did Tifa. Aeris didn't do commitment well, not since it got her into trouble so much in high school. First Sephiroth, a senior who turned out to be a nightmare, then Tseng, who she thought was a safe bet, but it turned out, was willing to sell her out in a second. Tifa wished she'd met Zack before them, maybe then she wouldn't have so much trouble admitting her feelings for him. Oh well, at least he wasn't pressuring her about it...Tifa had a good, long talk to him about what would happen if he wound up hurting Aeris. Or, maybe not so much a long talk as a short threat, followed by a description of what she'd done to Tseng. But Zack was good, he took care of her, protected her, cared about her. And Tifa hoped Aeris gave him enough of a chance for all that to matter. "Anyways! I can loan you some clothes."

"I don't know..." Tifa frowned, that tended not to work out so well. While they were about the same height, Aeris was skinny. Super-model skinny. Tifa didn't think she was fat by any means, but she had...curves. What some would call voluptuous curves. Most of Aeris' t-shirts turned into belly shirts when Tifa put them on, and her jeans wouldn't even button up on Tifa. So, sharing clothes had never really been an option.

"Relax. I have a skirt you can wear, and...well, Cloud's shirt looks good on you!" Aeris replied cherrily, then sprung up and out of the room. Tifa looked down at herself, wondering how she'd gotten it on in the first place. She could be determined when she was drunk, and she looked sheepishly over at the overturned drawer on the floor. Oops.

Aeris returned a moment later, carrying a lightblue skirt with her. She stretched the waistband to display its stretchy properties. "See? It'll work." She tossed the skirt at Tifa, then stepped outside. "Hurry up, Zack's making waffles!" She instructed, closing the door behind her. Tifa could almost hear her skipping down the hall to the kitchen, and she shook her head as she got up. It was only now that she realized she was still wearing her heels from last night, and she frowned. She'd changed out of the tight dress, but the murderous shoes? Those she'd left on? Wow, she really was dumb when she was drunk. She pulled the skirt on, then fixed the buttons on her shirt so they were actually done up properly. She couldn't check to see if she looked okay because there was no mirror in here, she noted. She'd have to get him one as a thank-you for rescuing her last night. She ran a hand back through her hair, frowning as she encountered not just knots of every shape and size, but also pins. She groaned, her hair was still up from last night. And with no mirror to straighten it out, she'd just make it worse.

She went to the door, and picking outside to find the hallways abandoned, she hung in the doorway. "Aeris...where's the bathroom?"

"First door on your left." She called back, and Tifa made for the door in question. "But I think-"

Aeris was cut off when Tifa opened the door, and blinked as steam rushed out at her. Once her vision cleared, she gasped and slammed the door shut as quickly as she could, her face turning crimson. Because standing in the middle of the bathroom was Cloud, apparently having just climbed out of the shower, judging by the way the water ran down his hard, perfectly sculpted muscles, his damp hair clinging to his scalp. She didn't think he'd seen her, though, he had been partially turned away, and she hadn't seen his face. But he had to notice the door slamming! Without another second's concern for her hair, she was all but sprinting down the hallway to the kitchen, where Zack was standing in front of the stove, flipping bacon, while Aeris was sipping orange juice, seated at the table. Tifa took a seat next to her, her heart racing, her face red as a beet. "You okay, Tifa? You look like you just ran a marathon, or something." Aeris asked, looking at her strangely. Tifa shook her head.

"Coffee, is there coffee? I think I need coffee."

A/U: In manga, the guy always walks in on the girl in the shower. ALWAYS. So, here, Cloud gets walked in on. I almost think he should have screamed like a girl and vainly tried to cover himself, but alas.