A/N: Loosley based on the Pussycat Dolls "When I Grow Up" because I believe that Nathan Kress could be a hottie as he grows up. Oh, and again with a Spencer/OC pairing cuz like everyone agrees, he needs a canon love interest.
CHAPTER ONE
"He is so cute…" Carly helplessly stared at the TV screen.
"I want him…" Sam replied watching the screen as well.
Freddie looked at both of them become mindless drones to the image of a blonde blue eyed pretty boy on the TV "You girls can't be serious…"
It was Friday night, they all sat on the couch watching the latest episode of the teen drama Scandalous Girl. The show was pretty much Carly and Sam's new obsession. Freddie felt as if he shouldn't be watching shows like that but he was forced to since his best friends were girls.
"Oh, if its Colin Cranson then we're very serious…" Sam replied. Colin Cranson was the male lead of the show.
Freddie sighed and continued to watch the show as Colin Cranson swam through a packed hallway of girls.
A few minutes into the show, Spencer came through the door with pizza and some Chinese take out "Hey kids, I couldn't decide what you guys wanted for dinner so I-" before he could finish his sentence the food was already in Sam's hands as she and Carly rushed into the kitchen.
Spencer stood there stunned "Why bother even announcing I bought dinner…" he then sat on the couch with Freddie "Hey Freddo, whatcha' watching there?"
"Will you look at that guy?"
Spencer looked hard at the TV "The blonde guy?"
"Yeah. Just look at him. He's a dumb pretty boy who's getting all the chicks and, and…I wanna be just like him…"
"But, he's a TV character."
"TV character or not, that guy is living it."
"The thing is Freddie, guys like that don't exist. The only thing you can do is be yourself."
"But I've been myself this whole time and Carly still doesn't notice me. Let alone any other girl…"
"Well, when all else fails, go on a dating site! Oh!" Spencer got up "That reminds me, excuse me while I go check " he went over to the kitchen counter computer and logged on as Freddie went to the kitchen and joined the girls for dinner. Spencer's excitement quickly faded away when all the matches he got were still women from prison and older women. He then retreated to the kitchen with the rest.
"So Spence, any cool new matches?" Carly mocked.
"No…same old inmates and cougars…" Spencer grabbed a slice of pizza.
"That's what being yourself does…it only leads you to freaks" Freddie added.
"Hey Carls, do you mind if we go eat in the living room? I don't wanna hear the ramblings of the Loser Romantically Challenged Boys club…" Sam grabbed her plate and waited for Carly.
Spencer and Freddie both looked at Carly "I'm sorry but the whole 'Girls don't love me' thing is getting old." She then joined Sam.
"Dude, I don't ever wanna sound this annoying again. We need chicks." Freddie said before taking a bite of his pizza.
"Agreed" Spencer nodded.
On the other side of town, Naima looked at her fully painted canvas holding a roll of duct tape deciding on what to do with it. She didn't notice when her roommate Shellie came in holding a billion shopping bags "Hey Nims!" she said putting her bags on the couch.
Naima didn't say anything. She just kept on staring at her canvas.
"HEY!" Shellie yelled into her ear.
Naima jumped and dropped the roll of duct tape "Hey Shell. I told you, do not bother me when I'm in the zone!"
"I'm sorry, hon. Its just I need to tell you about the date I went on!" Shellie grabbed a water from the fridge and retreated back to the living room.
Naima rolled her eyes at the word 'date'. Shellie was blonde and built like a model. She went on dates with rich guys like it was her job.
"He took me out to dinner, took me shopping, we drove around in his mustang, he wants to buy me a mustang…" Shellie then sighed of happiness.
"Wow, I'm very happy for you…" Naima continued to paint.
"Nims, you could have a boyfriend too, you know."
"Looking like this?" Naima stood in her black leggings, red checkered button down, and her brown hair pilled into a messy bun.
"You have GREAT potential. All you need is a great makeover! Seriously, this She's-All-That, Juno high school uniquely rebellious girl thing needs to go. You're twenty four…"
"I don't wanna change. I like myself."
"Okay, then we will find a guy just like you. Hey! I can set you up a profile on !" Shellie went over to the computer.
"Shellie, no. I am positive that there is no guy out there who is quote un quote just like me…most of those guys probably can't even pronounce my name!"
"We'll just customize your preferences. Lets see…" Shellie typed away "Likes: Art…um, what else kind of weird artist things do you like?"
"Harry Joyner, articles of clothing that light up, soft cookies, children, fun…" Naima went on as Shellie was typing 'Wait a minute. What am I doing?" she rushed to the computer.
"Alright! Your new profile has been set up! All we need to do is make a video for you or post your picture! Okay, lets find a good one…"
"No! We are not posting anything. Besides, I doubt I'd get anything…"
"Okay fine. I put you through enough torture anyways…"
In the evening, Freddie slept through the night dreaming he had the looks and confidence of Colin Cranson. In his dream, he drove a nice car even though he wasn't of age to drive, he stood up to any bully that stood in his way, and most importantly, Carly was his.
"FREDDIE! FREDDIE, WAKE UP HONEY! WE'RE RICH!!" Mrs. Benson woke him up with his dreams immediately fading away…or were they?
"What?" Freddie's eyes boggled
"My boss at work won the Four Billion Dollar lottery and gave three of his most loyal employees one billion each…and I'm one of them!!"
"OH MY GOD!!" he stood up from bed jumping up and down his mattress.
'Now now, Fredward, most of this is going into your college fund."
"But Mom, I, I need new clothes!" Freddie ripped his shirt in two "See how easily they rip open?"
Mrs. Benson thought for awhile then spoke "Oh alright. But I'm coming with you to make sure you get the right ones."
"No. Mom, why would you want to spend a disastrous day at the mall with me when you can be at a spa relaxing?"
"Are you sure you can pick out your own clothes?"
"Yes!" Freddie smiled. He was one step closer to being what he had dreamed about "They have personal shoppers. I'm pretty sure they have the same taste in clothes as you do…"
"Okay. Well get dressed, honey. We're going out for breakfast." As soon as Mrs. Benson left the room, Freddie turned on the radio and danced frantically. His mission was to change his image immediately.
In the afternoon, Carly came downstairs to find Spencer at the computer again "Hey" she said walking up to him.
"Oh great, you're here! Okay, so I was looking through today to see if I had some new matches…so I check and it was the usual inmates and old women…UNTIL…I happen to cross this girl here!" Spencer clicked on the picture-less profile named 'Naima'.
Carly read the profile "Wow, Harry Joyner, art, soft cookies…this girl could almost be you in girl form!"
"I know, right?" Spencer grinned "So should I ask her to meet me up or what?"
"Well, I don't know. She doesn't have a picture so you don't know how she looks like. For all you know, she could be a guy in disguise…"
"What if she's not? What if I'm really lucky this time?"
"Look, just message her. Try and get to know her a little…"
"You're right!" Spencer began typing away "Oh hey, did you see the huge box lying in front of Freddie's door today? I saw it while I was going to check the mail."
"That's weird. No I didn't. Is it still out there?"
"I think so. Go look…"
Carly opened her door not seeing the huge box but Freddie walking quietly to his apartment carrying tons of shopping bags and with a beanie over his head. "Hey Freddie" she said.
Freddie was startled "Carly! Oh my god…you scared me!"
"Whatcha' got there?"
"Oh, these?" Freddie motioned to his shopping bags "Just uh, just some…garbage!"
"Oh okay. What's with the dumb hat?"
"I'm keeping my head warm. Did you know that ninety percent of body heat escapes through your head?"
"Well, what up with the huge box in front of your door?"
"What up with all the questions? Seriously, Carls, I gotta go. Bye!" Freddie went inside his apartment and closed the door. Once inside, he slipped off the beanie to reveal his new haircut and highlights. When he made his way to the living room, the huge box was on the floor and the TV that was in it was already set up. He went into his room and looked through the new hip clothes he just bought and was ready to make a killing at school the next morning.
Naima rolled out of bed in the afternoon as Shellie was at the computer "There's the lucky girl!" she smiled.
Naima looked at her confused "What do you mean?"
"Well I checked your matches on and…you have two. One was an old man from Thailand and the other…well, come take a look at Mr. Spencer Shay…he lives around here, too!"
She watched the video of Spencer eating cereal "That's um…oddly attractive…what's his profile like?"
"He's an artist, he wears awesomely glowing socks, and he likes baking soft cookies…"
"This is too good to be true…" Naima sighed.
"Oh, and he sent you a message: 'Hey, I'm Spencer Shay" Shellie began to read "I think the online dating gods seemed to have matched us perfectly together. We like the same things so I think we should get to know eachother. How about it?' Oh, and he signed it with your favorite emoticon…"
"The one with the tongue sticking out?"
"The one with the tongue sticking out…"
Naima groaned "We are so different. I don't care what you say…"
"Nims, this guy is sooo right for you you don't even know it! Its like he can be…Naimo..you know, like a guy Naima?"
"I get it."
"Come on…just meet this guy for dinner tomorrow night."
"No. Excuse me, I have some painting to do…" Naima went back to her room to get her easel.
Being devious, Shellie replied to Spencer's message telling him Naima would meet him. She then signed the letter with a less than three heart and smiled.
At school the next day, Sam and Carly were dropped off at school by Sam's Mom. They walked towards the building "Thanks for giving me a ride to school. Spencer is asleep and Freddie has been acting weird…he had a weird box in front of his door yesterday." Carly said.
"Maybe it's the spaceship him and his Mom came to this planet in?" Sam replied.
A few seconds later, a Range Rover pulled up to the front of the school. Sam, Carly, and just about everyone else outside paused at the sight of the vehicle. And then out came Freddie dressed in his black skinny jeans, Nike dunks, grey hoodie, and snazzy shades. His hair was amazing and for the first time, he looked…cool.
"Later, Mom!" he said waving to Mrs. Benson.
Sam's and Carly's jaws dropped as he made his way towards them "Hey ladies. What's good?"
"Okay, who are you? Freddie Benson is a dorky little nub who wouldn't even think about wearing clothes like that…" Sam replied.
"Well best believe it, Sam. Freddie Benson is hot poop and you're just cold diarrhea…" he walked ahead of the girls.
Sam stood there speechless "Oh my god…"
"Call him something back! You always have something to say to him!" Carly shook her.
"Yeah but I…I don't. I don't have anything to say to him…"
When Freddie walked the hallways, girls stared at him wanting a piece of him. Guys praised him for his great style and envied him for being the attention of every girl in the building. He went to his locker to grab some books when a crowd of nervous girls approached him. The whispered and pushed amongst themselves.
"Hey Freddie" a red head said as the other girls behind her giggled.
"Hey" he smiled "What's good?"
The red head just about died right there and then "Ohmaigawsh, I, um, I like, I like your hair…" the giggles were in full force.
"Well, you're pretty cute, too" Freddie replied loving his new look.
"He said I was cute!" the red head fainted as the giggling girls took her away. Carly watched from the side and then made her way over to Freddie "Okay, what's going on? You show up looking like…not you, your Mom is driving a cool car, and there was a mysterious box outside your door…"
"Well, if you must know, My Mom's boss won the lottery and gave her a billion dollars. She gave me money and I decided to give myself a little makeover. My Mom bought a new car and that box that was out there? A new plasma wide screen TV…"
"Oh my god, you're like rich!"
"Well, I wouldn't say 'rich'. After all, what is money anyway? Just a piece of paper you can exchange for goods. Anyways, I'll catch you later…gotta go meet up with Gibby…"
When Freddie left, Carly all of a sudden found herself strangely attracted by his confidence. He wasn't hanging all over her or anything. He was actually giving her space.
Durring passing period, Freddie strutted his stuff down the hallways and then crossed paths with Sam who was still stunned by his comeback "Your shoes are ugly!" she said stopping him.
"Great, and so is your face!" Freddie replied moving passed her.
Sam was heated watching Freddie walk away. She was furious that for once, she had become the one being upset at the vicious rips. She hated him, she wanted to make him cry, she…was oddly attracted by his new found braveness…
(thats all for now. check back later!)