Author's Note/Disclaimer: Another one of my earliest fanfics -- this one written way back during season 2. It's also, of course, set during season 2. I own none of the characters or the setting, simply the plot and the words. Minor alterations have been made, but nothing significant for plot purposes.

X X X X X

Drusilla drifted about the warehouse, looking for something.

Spike rolled up in his wheelchair. "What are you looking for, love? Your dollies missing their teacups again?" He asked, not unkindly.

"Oh no," she replied languorously, "Miss Edith and her friends have given up on tea for now. Too much caffeine -- why, Miss Edith was near to having a heart attack! No, I was looking for my powder."

"Powder?" Spike said.

"Oh yes. I got it as a gift for you and my Angel." She looked in the dolls' teaset. "Oh, THERE it is, you naughty dollies! Keep this up and it'll be no tea for a very long time." She took one of the cups and walked for the exit. Spike rolled after her.

"Love, what are you doing?"

She smiled. "Now if I told you that, it wouldn't be a surprise." She then left.

"I hate it when she does that," Spike muttered to himself.

Angel popped his head over Spike's shoulder. "When she does what?" Spike jumped and spun his wheelchair.

"Don't do that!" Spike said. "Do you have any idea how bloody annoying that is?"

"I've been told that in the past," Angel smirked. "Now, what do you hate that Dru does? I'd hate to think there was any -- tension in your relationship."

"It'd just break your nonexistent heart," Spike sneered. "She took some kind of powder and promised a surprise for you and me. Don't look at me like that, I have no idea what the hell she's doing."

Angel left by the same exit Dru'd used. "Don't wait up," he called behind him as he walked out.

Spike swore violently to himself. He was doing a lot of that these days.

X X X X X

Meanwhile, Buffy, Xander and Cordelia were walking home from the Bronze. Cordelia's car was in the shop, and Willow, Oz, and his van were in a nearby town where Dingoes Ate My Baby was playing. Walking made them supposedly easy targets, so it was no surprise when they were set upon by half a dozen vampires.

"Buffy!" Cordelia yelped. "Why didn't you see them coming?"

"I was distracted by your bickering," Buffy muttered as she drew a stake. A half second later, Xander drew another, while the nervous Cordelia drew a spraybottle full of holy water, set it on "stream," and fingered a cross. Three seconds later the vamps attacked.

Buffy staked the first in seconds and slammed another against a tree; Xander was struggling with one until Cordelia sprayed it in the back of the head with the holy water. While it was screaming, Xander staked it.

Cordelia yelled, ""Euhhh, my blouse!" Xander shot her a dirty but affectionate look.

Buffy rolled and kicked one in the kneecap, then staked the one she'd knocked into the tree. "Rush, rush, rush," she said. "No sense of strategy whatsoever. Grade D-." The other three regrouped and Buffy yelled behind her, "Get out of here."

"But --" Xander started. Cordelia grabbed his arm.

"Let's do as the nice Slayer says, okay?" Cordelia said, grabbing Xander and pulling him away. Half a block down, Xander stopped, turned his head and said, "I'm going back."

"Why?" Cordelia demanded. "She's superwoman, remember? She could dust three vampires for breakfast. It's not like she's facing Angel or . . . Drusilla . . . "

"Yeah, but -- " Cordelia frantically tapped him on the shouder and Xander whirled around. "Oh . . . Drusilla . . ." The craziest vampire in the world was standing there, looking for all the world like the dog that had eaten the cat that had swallowed the canary. Xander hoped like hell he and Cordelia weren't the canaries. Cordelia raised her cross and Xander nervously fingered his stake as he stepped in front of his girlfriend protectively. He realized as he did it how foolish the gesture was. Barring an incredible stoke of luck, he and Cordelia could no more beat Drusilla than they could defeat the Hulk at weightlifting.

"Relax," she said languorously, "I've already eaten tonight. A sweet young child --" She paused a moment. "But that's not important. Here," she said fingering a teacup, "I have a present for you." Xander leaned forward in spite of himself, and Drusilla threw a cupful of powder right into his face. Cordelia had ducked and turned her head, so she avoided breathing any of it in, but Xander took a few whiffs and collapsed. Edging around the small cloud of dust, Cordelia forgot who she was for a moment and said, "What have you done to him, bitch?"

"To him? Nothing. I've done something for him, though . . . I'm sure you'll all quite like it."

Furiously, Cordelia aimed her spraybottle and squirted it in Drusilla's direction, but the vampire moved out of the way and said, "Oh no, it's not time for my bath yet. I haven't any soap." She then strolled off. Holding her breath, Cordelia knelt down and checked Xander's pulse. It was strong.

Now she could panic. "Buffy! Buffy!"

Buffy heard Cordelia screaming for help, but couldn't quite do anything just then, struggling in the grip of one vampire while fending another off with her feet. In spite of Cordelia's confidence in her, she wasn't quite superwoman enough to dust three annoyed vampires in thirty seconds unless she had good reason to.

However, one of her friends screaming her name counted as good reason, and grimly, she redoubled her efforts; fifteen seconds later she was standing there dusting off her hands. Then she sprinted down the block and found Cordelia slowly backing away from a prone Xander, lying in the middle of a pale yellow cloud. She was about to go to her friend's side when Cordelia put out an arm and stopped her.

"No. That powder's what knocked him out. Drusilla threw it at him." Grimly Buffy nodded, took a deep breath and ran into the cloud. She hoisted the unconscious Xander onto her shoulders and carried him a bit further down the block, resting him on a bench. She turned to Cordelia, only to see her still down the block taking her sweater off and waving it at the powder angrily. Buffy swore and rushed back down the street.

"What are you doing?" she said. "Worried the powder might get on your blouse?"

Cordelia glared at her. "No, I was trying to get rid of the powder before anyone else breathed it in. You know? Protecting people?"

"Oh." Buffy felt sheepish. "Good thinking." She took off her own coat and within seconds the cloud had been widely dispersed. Buffy knelt down and picked up a bit of the powder as Cordelia rushed to Xander's side. She searched her Slayer's bag for something to stick it in and eventually settled for a nearly-empty lipstick tube. Then she ran over to join Cordelia and Xander. Right as she got there Xander coughed twice and slowly opened his eyes. He bolted upright when he saw the two women leaning over him.

"What's going on," he sputtered. "Are you girls okay?"

"Yup," Buffy said, "But you've been out five minutes. Drusilla threw some kind of powder in your face."

"And you went down as fast as my credit rating since I started dating you." There was absolutely no malice in Cordelia's statement.

Xander struggled to rise to his feet, and Buffy forced him back down. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Xander sat up and took a few deep breaths. "I feel fine." He stood up slowly and pounded his chest in a feeble parody of old Tarzan movies. Buffy couldn't help but laugh.

She said, "You Xander, me Buffy." After a second Cordelia joined in. Xander looked down and laughed at himself.

"C'mon, guys, let's get home," he said.

"I really should get this to Giles," Buffy said. "We don't know what's in it." She paused a second, worried, "It's not like Drusilla to play such a feeble joke."

"Yeah, well, I've seen her sense of humor up close," Xander. "And I'm much of the happy that it didn't turn out worse." He pounded his chest again.

"Yeah," Cordelia said, "Besides, isn't she crazy lady or something?" Xander put his arms around the two and started leading them down the street towards Buffy's house.

"C'mon," he said, "You can call your stalker -- Watcher -- from your house. I've got to make sure my girls are safe."

Buffy frowned at the odd phrasing, but off the trio went down the street.

X X X X X

Drusilla and Angel stood off in the darkness and observed the scene.

"What was that supposed to do, Dru?" Angel complained. "I still think we should've taken them while they were distracted. Killed the dark-haired bitch. It always pissed me off the way she flirted with me."

"That would ruin the surprise, Angel." She told him exactly what she'd blown in Xander's face. As he heard what it was, his grin widened and he grabbed Dru by the hand.

"Oh, I'm not going to want to miss this," he said amusedly as they followed the trio of teenagers.

Buffy was starting to find Xander's arms a little tiresome by the time the three teenagers reached her front door. Cordelia wasn't complaining, although she did shoot some jealous looks Buffy's way when she thought the Slayer wasn't looking. Buffy noticed, of course, and she was puzzled by Xander's actions. "It's possible he's overcompensating," she thought. "That powder might have wigged him out more than he wants to say."

Buffy's mother was in San Francisco for the weekend at a metting for owners of small art galleries, so Buffy didn't have to worry about THAT. It was amazing how often her mother wasn't in town when she really needed her not to be. Buffy'd have to check with Giles to see if that was a Slayer side effect.

Anyway. Buffy was able to squirm free long enough to open the front door, but no sooner had they entered than Xander plopped the two women down on the couch and said "Stay here. I'm going to make sure it's safe."

Buffy stood up again. Overcomping or not, Xander was beginning to tick her off. "Me Slayer. You Slayerette. Me strong. You weak. I'll go check the house. You sit here and spend some quality time with your girlfriend." Xander surprised her, and angered Cordy, by quickly pecking them both on the cheek.

"Naah," he said, forcing Buffy back down with surprising strength, "I need to do this. After tonight . . . I have to make sure my girls are safe." He walked off into the kitchen.

Cordelia turned to Buffy, her face a mix of anger and anguish. Buffy held up both of her hands in a "not me" gesture. "Dunno what's gotten into him," Buffy said. "Maybe the close encounter with crazy girl wigged him out more than he wants to tell us."

Cordelia said, "Hello, dummy! It's the powder!"

"I don't know, Cordy," Buffy said dubiously. "He's acting odd, but not totally unXanderlike." Then the memory of physically forcing her back down onto the couch hit her, and she was forced to agree. "Cordy out-thought me. Not a great day for my ego," she thought. Cordelia was about to protest when Buffy interrupted, "No, you're right. We need to get this," she said pulling out her lipstick tube, "And Xander to Giles doubletime."

"I agree." She screamed upstairs ."Xan--" only to be stopped by Buffy's hand over her mouth as she put the tube down on the endtable.

"Shh," the Slayer said. "If it's the powder, who knows what it's doing to him? We'd better --" Buffy broke off as Xander came into the room, carrying the contents of Buffy's Slayer's trunk as well as some silver weapons. Buffy slowly approached him as Cordelia backed away.

Xander smiled. "How are my girls?" He asked. "Buffy, you weren't thinking of leaving, were you? How can I be protecto-boy if you're roaming the streets?"

Okay, now Xander was creeping her out. There was something in his tone that reminded Buffy of Ted, and she wasn't about to go there again for a personal guarantee from God of a vampirefree Sunnydale. Calmly -- noticing Cordelia bravely trying not to cower in the corner, and honestly not blaming her -- she told Xander, "Look at yourself. You need help. That powder --"

"The powder made me feel great," Xander said. "I know what I have to do now." Buffy backed up towards the door and Xander grabbed her arms. "First things first," she thought, "protect the weak and helpless. Right now, that's Cordy."

Suddenly she shouted, "Cordy, get out of h-" and was stunned when Xander backhanded her to the floor. He'd gotten stronger, somehow. Buffy tried to clear her head. Cordy froze for a second, then bolted for the back door. Not fast enough, unfortunately, as Xander dashed across the room and grabbed her arm.

"You're not going anywhere," he said. Cordelia struggled in his grip, and, with a regretful look on his face, said, "Sorry, honey. I'll help you understand when you wake up." He shoved her against the wall, and she sank down to the floor, unmoving.

Buffy sprinted across the room and jumped on Xander. "He's my friend," she thought, "But right now I'll be a better friend once he's out of commission." Again he surprised her with his strength as he flipped over so he was on top of her. "You can't leave," he hissed. Buffy kneed him in the stomach and stood up.

"Not when you're like this, no. Xander," Buffy pleaded, "Look at yourself. You hurt Cordy. You've hurt me!"

He took a deep breath and looked around the room. He really seemed to see Buffy and Cordelia. "Buffy, what have I done?" He knelt by Cordy's side and started shaking her.

"Whoa, whoa," Buffy said, kneeling next to him. "It's better if you don't shake the unconsc-" Buffy suddenly flopped forward and fell on top of Cordelia as Xander slammed the butt end of a stake into the base of her skull. He stood up.

"I told you you weren't going anywhere," he said. "You girls are mine."

X X X X X

Drusilla and Angel had watched the scene unfold from across the street. As Angel glimpsed the fight through the window, his grin grew wider and wider. Turning to Drusilla, he said, "Best present I've gotten in a long time, Dru."

Drusilla looked up, almost shyly, at her sire. "You like it, daddy?"

"Like it?" He said, grinning. "I love it! But where'd you get so much tyrana powder?"

"I've been saving a long time, Angel. For this special day." She paused. "So what'd you get me?"

Suddenly it struck Angel. This was the anniversary of the day was when he'd finally turned Drusilla. What a glorious day that had been! All those poor, innocent, tasty and terrified nuns. Leave it to Dru to give gifts on her anniversary.

Angel distracted Dru by pointing to a van that drove by, slammed into reverse, and stopped. Willow and her new boyfriend cautiously exited the van and walked towards the house. "More fun, Dru. Let's watch."

The vampires settled back into the tree.

X X X X X

Oz and Willow were pulling down Rubello drive on the way to Willow's when Willow noticed something odd as they passed Buffy's house.

"Stop the van!" she blurted. Oz gave her an extremely puzzled look -- in fact, it was his best expression -- but did as he was told. "Back up," she said, and he did so.

"Is this some kind of Simon says? 'cause if it is --" Willow hushed him and pointed towards Buffy's front door. It was wide open, and inside the front lights were on and she could see Buffy and Cordelia slumped down on the sofa. Willow started when she saw a shadowy figure upstairs.

"Look," she whispered, pointing. Oz followed her gaze but couldn't see anything. "Come on," she told him, "They might be in trouble."

"Can't be a vampire, from what you say, and, um, if it's a burglar we're a bit unarmed," Oz said.

Willow gave him a stern look and left the van. Two seconds later, Oz followed her. While he might think it an extremely ungood idea, he wasn't about to let her walk into trouble by herself. Then he smiled. Willow might think of herself as shy, but when it came to her friends she was the least shy person he knew.

Hesitantly Willow pushed the door open and looked at the sofa. "Buffy, I --" She stopped and gaped when she saw both of them tied up and gagged. Buffy stirred as the two rushed to their side. Willow pulled Buffy's gag off. The Slayer gasped, "Lipstick!" Willow gave her a very puzzled look -- that was far more a Cordy thing to say -- and Oz strolled over and picked an empty lipstick tube from the endtable.

"Hold on," Willow told her friend "Oz--" but Oz was already on his way over to untie Cordelia.

Buffy said, "No!" Startled, the pair stopped for a second. "We're okay. Get tube to Giles. Got powder in it, made Xander crazy." Buffy seemed sort of woozy, and she lapsed back into unconsciousness.

"Not leaving without you," Willow said as she started working on Buffy's knots. Oz stared at the far end of the room; the hacker followed his gaze and saw . . . a perfectly normal-looking Xander. He seemed fine as he slammed the door and locked it. What he said was chilling.

"Hey, Will," he said pleasantly. "You're right. You're not leaving. Couldn't keep an eye on you if you did. Gotta save my bestest friend in all the world."

"What's wrong with you, man?" Oz asked. "I think I can protect Willow."

Xander's smile turned very cold. "You're what I need to save her from." He drew a silver knife. "And she's not your anything. She's mine!" Oz and Willow slowly backed towards the rear of the house. Xander lunged and grabbed her by the wrist. "Get behind me, Will," he said, roughly thrusting her onto the sofa. "I'll take care of wolfboy." He advanced on Oz, who was more puzzled and annoyed at Xander than scared. The musician looked around for something he could use as a weapon in case -- well, if things got hairy. He'd gotten lucky the time he'd decked Xander. The only things in sight were a couple of carving knives from the kitchen, and he thought Willow might get a tad upset if he tried to slice and dice her best friend, crazy as he was acting. Willow didn't hesitate. She grabbed Xander's knife arm and yanked. It was like pulling a push door.

Xander looked at her with undisguised pity. "He's gotten to you," he said sadly. "I'm sorry, Will," and with one punch to the jaw knocked her back onto the couch, where she just lay there. Oz blinked, then stormed forward.

Xander whirled and backhanded him across the room; Oz staggered but somehow stayed on his feet. "You tried to take her from me. I knew we couldn't trust you." He raised the knife and advanced.

X X X X X

Angel jumped down from the tree. Drusilla called down, "Angel? You're not leaving in the middle of my present, are you?"

"No, Dru. Just making sure our entertainment doesn't leave before the final curtain." Then he dashed across the street and expertly slashed Oz's tires.

Back in the tree, the two vampires settled back to watch the fun.

X X X X X

"Look at yourself," Oz said. "Look behind you. You want to protect them and they're all knocked out." Oz didn't feel nearly as calm as he sounded. Truth is, he wanted to disembowel Xander for hurting Willow, but right now the way Xander was moving he'd only wind up unconscious himself. Or dead, from the way Xander was talking. Xander looked behind him as Oz nervously fingered the lipstick tube. He had to get this to Giles. He'd be able to help.

Xander turned back around. "They're safe from you now, though. They're safe from any vampires that roll around." Xander advanced on Oz menacingly. The musician edged towards the kitchen.

"Xander, um, we have to get you to Giles." As Oz had expected, Xander tried to block his way to the kitchen.

"So that British bastard's in on it too? Well he can't have them either! They're mine!" He threw the knife at Oz, who twisted; still, it brushed his jacket. If that had hit him -- well, he didn't know what a silver knife would do to a werewolf in human form but he wasn't particularly eager to find out. He feinted towards the front door, then dodged as Xander threw himself at him and raced up the stairs. Xander grabbed his foot and yelled, "Get down here, wolfboy! I'm not --" With his free foot, Oz kicked Xander in the face -- oddly satisfying, that -- and got him to release his hold. He ran up the stairs and into the nearest room, slamming the door behind him and locking it.

He looked around. Crosses, open trunk, stuffed pig -- must be Buffy's room. He quickly opened the back window and was ready to climb down the trellis when Xander busted the door down. With no time for anything else, Oz took a deep breath and jumped.

Angel watched the drama unfold, then cursed as it moved upstairs out of his view. Within seconds he saw a body fly out of Buffy's window. Without hesitation he grabbed Dru's arm and they both jumped down from the tree.

"C'mon, Dru. We've got to get a better look at the body."

"Feeding time!" A wide grin broke out on Drusilla's face as they crossed the street.

"Not necessarily. Let's see who it is first . . . I've never dined on guitarist before."

Oz got up and shook his head. "That settles it," he thought groggily. "No more triple mushroom pizza." Then he saw he was on Buffy's lawn, "I hope to hell I wake up from this dream soon." Then he saw two vampires coming near. Not for the first time, he wished he could go wolf at will. He rolled to his feet.

Brazen it out. Definitely time to brazen it out. "Hi Angel," he said politely. "Hello, friend of Angel. Um, nice night for a stroll, huh?"

"Yes, isn't it?" The vampire said expansively. "Plenty of stuff to see and do. Isn't that full moon lovely?"

"Actually, it's gibbous --" Oz stopped speaking, mostly because Angel had grabbed him by the throat and was slowly lifting him off the ground; though, truth be told, there wasn't much point in keeping the conversation going anyway. Oz struggled, but could feel himself growing weaker.

Xander stuck his head out the window. "That's good, deadboy!" he screamed. "Hold him there . . ." Angel whirled around to face the voice . . . and got a crossbow bolt in the side of his neck. He screamed and dropped Oz, who didn't waste any time and sprinted for his van.

Behind him, simultaneously, Angel swore, Drusilla cried out in sympathy pain, and Xander yelled down, "Told you to keep him steady, idiot!"

Someone slashed the tires! Oz didn't even slow down as he jumped into the driver's side, started the van, and barreled down the street. He'd be paying big bucks to fix the rims later. It all boiled down to one thing: Willow was in trouble. In other words, to hell with his tires and the rims. Now, he had to think: Where did Mr. Giles live?

X X X X X

Angel was just about to squeeze Oz's neck umtil he left handprints when he heard Xander's threat. He turned around to face the window and felt a searing pain through his neck as a crossbow bolt ripped through it. Screaming in pain and rage, he dropped the musician and barely noticed him sprint off.

"Xander, you moron!" He swore as Dru rushed to his side, howling for some reason only Dru would ever know. The human retorted, "I told you to keep him steady, idiot!" He paused as the van went tearing off into the night."Oh well. Can't bag me a wolf, I'll settle for the leaders of the fangface posse." He reloaded and shot again, but Dru knocked Angel out of the way. Before the human could fire another bolt, she and Angel were out of range.

Xander shouted after them, "Stay away from my girls and maybe I won't try to kill you!" He looked across at the house next door, but no lights had come on. "Buffy must have the most blase neighbors in the world," he thought. "Either that, or she lives next door to the Sunnydale Home for the Terminally Clueless." Shaking the thought from his head, he went downstairs to see how his girls were doing.

Oz was an intelligent person. He knew it. He'd been to Giles' house once before. So he knew about where it was. Unfortunately, he had the sense of direction of a busted compass, so he was reduced to driving down streets that looked kind of like the librarians' until he finally got the clue. Or rather, saw the car.

There couldn't be anyone else in Sunnydale with a car like Giles'. He'd never actually seen it before, but Willow had described it to him, laughing hysterically as she did so. Now he could see why.

Stopping the van, he dashed for the front door of the house, pounding furiously on the door. A voice from within called down, "Stop that pounding! I'll be there in a minute." A short time later, Giles cautiously opened the door. He blinked in surprise when he recognized the guitarist. "Oz? What's wrong?"

"It's Xander. He's gone all -- what's the word? -- oh yeah, insane."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's see. He's acting really strange. He's tied Cordelia and Buffy up, he knocked Willow out, and he chased me around Buffy's trying to stab me. He also shot at me with a crossbow -- he hit Angel, though -- and oh, Buffy gave me this lipstick and told me to give it to you. I don't think it's your color, though." He grinned briefly as he handed Giles the tube.

"Um, yes, yes," Giles took the proffered tube and opened it slowly. "I see what you mean." He looked inside, took a cautious whiff, and slammed the cap back on as though the Master himself was emerging from it. "Good Lord!" Giles exclaimed. "Do you have any idea what that is?"

"If I had --"

"Quite right. You would have told me, not asked. That's tyrana powder. He breathed this in?" Oz nodded. "You see --" he caught how serious Oz was and decided to give the short explanation -- "tyrana is basically alcohol with none of the pleasant side effects. It releases one's darkest inhibitions. I never saw Xander as having a hidden kidnapper, though . . ."

"He was ranting, 'They're mine! I have to save them from you!"

"Possessiveness. Now, that I could --" He broke off. "Well, we'll have to see what we can do about finding an antidote. It would eventually wear off by itself, but if Xander's got everyone tied up and unconscious we may not have the time. Can you --" Oz was halfway across the room plucking through Giles' books. "The alchemy books are over there," he said, pointing at a small shelf.Oz grabbed a handful of books and started paging through them rapidly. Giles looked at him in shock.

"Um, speedreader. Don't these things have an index?" For the next five minutes Oz skimmed through the books as Giles looked at specific parts. "Here it is," Oz called and Giles walked to his side. Oz clenched his fists. "No known antidote."

"Yes. Apparently it's like alcohol there too. Well then, I guess we'll have to stop him and wait for time to turn the trick."

"That could be a problem. Not only is he superXander, Angel and that other vampire -- the crazy woman -- were lurking outside. Don't think they were there for the beautiful moon."

"That would pose a problem," Giles said in typical understated style. "Obviously waiting is thus not an option." He paused. "Do you know how to use any weapons?'

"No. I'm not a fan of weaponry, really. But I'd be willing to stand there and look threatening."

"No. You'd be as big a danger to us as the vampires. Here," he said, pulling out a cross and two vials, "a cross should keep them away, and holy water will burn them." Giles then opened a secret catch and brought out a crossbow and pocketed a couple of stakes. "It's Xander that's the bigger worry. While he poses a danger, we don't want to hurt him."

Oz thought about commenting but refrained. No, he really DIDN'T want to hurt the guy if he wasn't responsible. That didn't mean it wouldn't feel good to sock him again if he got the chance . . . He had a thought. "What about that tranquilizer gun?"

"There's a thought," Giles said. "I'll be back in a second . . ." he said, trotting upstairs. After an eternity -- thirty seconds, at least -- he came back down, carrying the rifle. "Only two doses, but it will have to suffice."

The two, Watcher and werewolf, walked outside, looked at each other, at the available transportation, and in unison grimaced and walked over to Giles' car.

X X X X X

Angel grimaced as he yanked the bolt from his neck; luckily, it hadn't hit any veins or organs, so it would heal fairly quickly, but it hurt like hell! Drusilla half-supporting him, they staggered down the block and took a roundabout route to the tree they'd been watching the action from from the beginning.

The house had quieted down, though there were now three figures slumped over -- no, two slumped over and one blonde one wriggling animatedly. Angel grinned to himself. He could think of far better uses for Buffy's stamina. Xander's head could be seen, first at one window, first at another, then passing through the living room to keep an eye on the three tied-up women. He wished he could figure out exactly what quality the tyrana had exaggerated in Xander. So far it had just made him violent and nasty, like himself on a good day.

Whenever Xander went into the living room the struggling stopped and Buffy slumped back down. Angel wondered what would happen when Buffy finally freed herself of those bonds. Oh, bad enough for him to damage Xander, but if Buffy had to do it . . . why, it would just devastate her . . .

Angel smiled, winced, and watched.

X X X X X

Xander paced throughout the house, keeping an eye out for demons, werewolves, vampires, giant bugs, Inca Mummy Women, and androids who looked like refugees from 70's TV. No sign of danger so far -- except for the werewolf and that pair of vampires, and he'd taken care of them, hadn't he? His girls didn'tneed anyone else. Not while Xander was on the job.

He heard a crash from the living room and rushed in. He relaxed when he saw it was just Buffy, struggling in her bonds, and that she'd knocked over the lamp. Cordelia was shaking her head as well, and Will was glaring at him. He sighed. He'd MAKE them understand if he had to. He really didn't see any problem, though. After all, these were his girls! They knew he'd never hurt them.

Patiently, he explained to them, "I'm sorry about this, but you were all in moods like you didn't WANT me to be protector boy. Buff, you think maybe that powder affected all of you and not me?" No answer. "Call me a big stupid. If I take these gags off, do you all promise not to scream?"

They looked at each other and nodded as one. Slowly Xander undid the gags, first Buffy's, then Willow's, then Cordelia's.

"You all okay? Can I get you anything for your headaches?"

"An explanation would be nice," Willow said quietly.

"Well, guys, when Drusilla threw that powder in my face, it was, well, like I finally saw the light. You know? Kind of like miss loony- toon was doing me a favor or something. I realized how I really felt about all of you. That you were all mine. Buff -- why do you think I was so jealous of you and deadboy? Will, why do you think I hate your hairy ex-boyfriend so much?"

Willow nervously interrupted with, "Ex? You didn't hurt him, did you?"

"Tried to. Sorry, Will, he got away. But I'll get him if he comes back, don't worry. Never fear, Xander's here! And Cordy? Why do you think I was so upset when you dumped me on Valentine's Day? The timing sucked, sure, but you were already mine. No WAY was I going to let you get away. And the way I see it well, you're all my ladies, so someone's gotta be the lord. That's me! Um, not that you have to call me lord or anything. This is the '90s, after all."

"That's a relief," Cordy said sarcastically. Good to see she, at least, was back to normal.

"So," Xander asked, "Buff. Could that powder have affected all of you and not me?"

The Slayer thought for a second. "It's possible, I guess . . . but I don't know enough. We'd need Giles for that."

Instantly Xander's mood darkened. Why'd Buffy have to go and bring up that overbearing, nosy Englishman? "Nope. That's a no-go, Buff, I don't trust him always sticking his nose into your business. Tell you what! I'll look it up when I get the chance. I'll be your Watcher, whaddaya say?"

"Umm, okay." Will looked shocked, but Cordy nudged her and whispered into her ear. She straightened up and said weakly, "Yeah, Xander, you can do it."

"What'd you whisper, Cordy? Come on, boyfriends and girlfriends shouldn't have secrets!"

Cordelia said, "Just telling her what an amazing Watcher you'd be, Nimrod!" Xander laughed. Looked like everything was going to be okay.

Then he heard shouts from outside.

X X X X X

To Oz's frustration, Giles did not try to set a landspeed record getting over to Buffy's. In fact, he strictly followed the speed limit and stopped at every stop sign. When Oz grumbled, Giles had annoyingly but reasonably told him, "Mr . . . Oz, -- what is your last name, by the way? -- we will do them no good if we are pulled over by the police."

He was right, yeah, but that didn't make the ride much easier.

Finally they pulled to a stop a few doors down from Buffy's house. Oz turned to Giles, "We would surely alert Xander if we screeched to a halt directly in front of Buffy's." He grabbed the crossbow and slid the tranq rifle under his jacket.

Oz grabbed a cross, holy water, a spare stake and muttered as they got out of the car, "And the vampires?"

"Thus our weaponry." Giles in the front, they carefully walked down the street to Buffy's house.

Unfortunately, not unobserved.

X X X X X

Angel swore as he saw Oz and Giles walk up the street. Drusilla followed his gaze and smiled. "Is it feeding time already, Daddy?"

"Maybe," Angel said distractedly as he jumped down from the tree. Drusilla followed him.

"We have to stop them. They won't appreciate my gift to Xander like you and Spike will." She stomped her feet. "They're going to try to ruin my party!"

Angel turned to Drusilla. "The hell they will. Come on, Dru, it's time for some British cuisine."

They waited until the pair of would-be saviours were hidden behind a car and ran across the street. Angel peered through the car's windows and, when Oz and Giles' backs were turned, he and Dru jumped out at them.

Some of Buffy's goddamn vampire-sense must have rubbed off on the Watcher, because he turned and yelled out a warning. The guitarist spun in place and backed away quickly, holding a cross high, while the Watcher levelled his crossbow at Angel.

"Give me an excuse to use this, and believe me, I will . . ." the Watcher said. Angel could well believe it.

Drusilla, though, was advancing on the nervously retreating Oz. "You won't hurt me," she said. "You don't have it in you . . . tonight." Giles couldn't spare a glance for Oz's predicament; the moment he swung the bow towards Dru, Angel would rush him and he knew it.

Giles said, "Drusilla!" Sharply. Angel's offspring turned to look at Giles, and as she did so Oz threw the bottle of holy water at her. It shattered on the side of her head and she screamed in pain.

Angel said, "Dru!", slammed the crossbow out of Giles' hands, and sprang at Oz, who went down and let Angel sail over him.

To complicate matters, then Xander threw open Buffy's front door.

X X X X X

Xander ran to the front as soon as he heard the second, somewhat otherworldly screech. Throwing the door open, he looked outside. Wolfboy and the two vamps were at it again, and this time the Watcher was caught in the middle too. He thought about just standing back and picking off the victors, but that wouldn't be very, well, manly of him, now would it?

Besides, he didn't actually want Giles to be hurt, just out of the way. He dashed back to the main room, told the three girls, "Wait here. Got some vamps and a hairy guy to Slay."

Willow said, with a pained look on her face, "No!" while Cordy and Buffy just stared at him. Pride in their protector, no doubt. He picked up a stake and the silver knife, told Will, "Don't worry, little bitty buddy, I'll be fine!" and strode boldly outside to keep his girls safe.

He looked at the situation again. A staggering Drusilla was chasing Giles,while Angelus was furiously running after Oz. "Let the two monsters take care of each other," he thought as he jumped on the she-vampire's back and plunged the stake into . . .

Giles blinked in surprise when he saw Xander coming, then watched in sheer horror as he grabbed a stake and tried to jump on Drusilla's back. Had the tyrana caused the boy to lose all sense of reason? Drusilla flipped Xander over onto his back and the boy barely evaded the vampire's fist. Giles drew a crossbow bolt out and raked Drusilla across the face with it.

The vampire recoiled, then stood. "You don't appreciate my present. None of you appreciate my present." She struck Giles in the head with a glancing blow, staggering him, and narrowly missed Xander on the return swing. Xander shoved her in the chest, causing her to stumble backwards and hit a tree.

Giles spared a glance for Oz. Angelus was playing with the lycanthrope as a cat would a mouse. Hitting him, letting him regain to his feet and then knocking him down again. He grinned briefly as the boy rolled, knocking Angelus down, but the vampire only got to his feet and started battering Oz around the yard again. Every time he spoke to Xander, the boy growled oaths at him. Then he heard Buffy's scream from inside the house.

"Giles," she said, "This way!" Desperately he tried to maneuver the insane Drusilla back onto the porch and towards the Summers' living room window . . .

X X X X X

Cordelia twisted in place and gaped at the scene outside Buffy's living room window. "Giles -- Oz -- Vampires -- Xander! She closed her eyes and wrenched herself back around. "Buffy . . ." she cried in anguish.

Willow started to turn around, but Cordelia firmly said, "No!" and wriggled on top of the hacker.Willow screeched in surprise, but with Cordelia's weight on her couldn't turn around. Buffy did, was grateful to the cheerelader -- the less Willow saw, the less she'd panic -- and grimly redoubled her efforts. If she didn't get out there -- soon -- she'd have her friends' bodies littering the front yard. Rope she could break, chains she could snap, but Xander, in a fit of genius, had bound her head to toe in duct tape. She'd kill -- no, she wouldn't. It wasn't Xander's fault, it was Drusilla's. "Crazy lady's going down," she said to herself.

She looked outside again. Angel was slapping Oz around the yard while Drusilla was holding off both Giles and Xander, and the sitch wasn't helped by Xander yelling at Giles every chance he got. Buffy looked out and screamed, "Giles! This way!" He looked up, saw Buffy, and slowly started to maneuver Dru and Xander towards the house.

Angel had apparently tired of the game, because he leapt on top of the erstwhile werewolf and put on his game face. Buffy screamed and flexed with all her might -- and ripped her right arm free.

It would have to do. She pushed herself upwards, tossed the coffee table out of the way, hopped backwards, then threw herself forward, shattering the window . . .

and landing on Drusilla, whom Giles had manipulated onto the front porch. Buffy was in no mood to play around, but with only one arm free she didn't have a whole lot of options. She grabbed her around the neck, wriggled violently and threw the insane vamp to the ground. Drusilla struck her several times, but Buffy wouldn't let go. She heard Giles and Xander scream something, but she couldn't make out what. In the meantime, realizing that strangling a vampire maybe wasn't the best way to go, she began slamming Drusilla's head into the porch.

Xander rushed towards her. "I got her now, Buff. You can let go." The hell she could. Giles pulled something out of his jacket -- Buffy couldn't see what -- and shot Xander -- oh, tranq rifle. Her Watcher shot again, and Xander collapsed to the ground, swearing that he was going to kill that British bastard if he ever got the chance. Giles grabbed the bow, raced over, and slammed Angel in the back of the head. Squirming furiously, Oz had avoided actually being bitten. Angel released him and turned to face the weaponless Giles.

Buffy kept pounding. If she'd had another hand free, she would have staked Drusilla, slowly, but she didn't. Finally the vampire lapsed into unconsciousness and Buffy let go. Xander was still conscious, just weakened. There was a look of infinite betrayal in his eyes, and briefly Buffy wanted to tell him it was all going to be okay. Then she shook that off. This wasn't entirely Xander. She flexed again; her struggles with Dru had torn some of the tape. Rip! Her legs came free, and she tore her other arm free,at great cost to her arm hair.. Her legs were nearly asleep, but there wasn't time to give them a wake-up call.

Giles and Oz were playing, in essence, an elaborate game of keepaway. The werewolf seemed dizzy and exhausted, and Giles didn't seem too steady himself. Buffy ran -- okay, limped -- over and swung at Angel. She missed, of course.

Angel quickly gathered that a cramped Slayer was still a hell of a lot more dangerous than an exhausted Watcher and guitarist, because he turned to face Buffy, mock sympathy in his eyes.

"Buffy, I'm shocked to see you. I thought you were all tied up." He chopped at the Slayer's shoulder blade. Buffy took it and kicked Angel above the kneecap.

"I was bound to show up sometime,"she said. "And who's writing your lines? That joke's older than you are." They traded punches, Angel's having more effect due to Buffy's weakened condition. Still, with Dru and powderboy out of the action she felt a whole hell of a lot better about the outcome.

Angel sent her sprawling. Well, maybe not THAT much better . . . Giles shouted, "Angel!" Her ex-boyfriend turned to look at the Watcher . . .who had regained the crossbow and was standing five feet away from Drusilla, pointing it straight at her heart.

In that harsh voice he only used in way scary circumstances, Giles said, "Back off, now! Or Drusilla joins the ranks of the permanently deceased!" Angel backed away and Buffy got up. Slowly he walked over towards Dru and pulled her to her feet; Giles backed off and carefully kept the crossbow aimed, while Buffy pulled out a stake.

They watched them until they were out of sight, then turned to take care of Xander and Oz . . . Oz was still lying on the ground, but Xander was standing up holding a stake, flicking it from hand to hand like a knife.

"You and me now, Watcher-man. Let's rumble." Suddenly he went down as Oz smashed him at the base of the skull with both fists.

"Nobody threatens Willow," he said firmly, then collapsed from loss of blood.

Buffy and Giles exchanged looks, sighed and dragged the two bodies into the house. "You know," she grumbled, "This is the part they never show in action movies . . ."

Quickly Giles and Buffy freed Cordelia and Willow -- not without Cordy bitching mildly about the damage the tape was doing to her clothes, though her heart obviously wasn't in it as she nervously looked at Xander's unconscious form. Willow's eyes flicked between her boyfriend and her best friend.

When both were freed, Cordelia went to Xander's side, only to be held up by Giles, as Willow knelt at Oz's side as the werewolf slowly sat up.

Cordelia flashed a furious look at Giles, who coolly reminded her that the effects of the powder had not yet worn off and then knelt at Willow's side to examine Oz's injuries. Buffy jogged upstairs to get Giles some medical supplies.

Cordy said, "Right!" and ran for the kitchen, returning a minute later with the rest of the roll of duct tape Xander had used on the three of them. Giles looked up in surprise. "A good idea, Cordelia. Willow, assist Miss Chase, please." Willow moved off and hurriedly Giles leaned down, like he was examining Oz's head, and said, "I think we should not tell them the exact nature of the powder. It would do them no good to realize that Xander actually possesses the feelings he's been showing tonight, even if he normally represses them."

Oz whispered, "I don't like having to lie to Willow -- or any of them, honestly -- but you're right. What they don't know won't hurt them." He groaned and held his head.

Giles finished a quick exam of the boy and found no serious injuries. "Nothing major," he said loudly. "Apparently you collapsed merely from an accumulation of small wounds and being knocked into the ground. I would take it easy, though, were I you." Buffy jogged back down the steps and handed Giles an assortment of ointments and bandages. Willow finished looping a coil of tape around Xander's legs and grabbed the ointments from Buffy's hands.

"I'll do this!" she said. "Um, if that's okay . . .?"

Buffy laughed. "Go to it, girl." The Slayer dragged Giles over to the couch, and motioned for Cordelia to join them. She tightly duct taped Xander's wrists and walked over to join them.

Without preamble, Giles said. "That powder sample was a substance known as Thelama powder. It causes whoever inhales it to, well, become violently and insanely jealous and possessive. It has no known antidote --" Buffy and Cordelia's faces fell -- "But neither does alcohol. It should wear off by morning." The two breathed a sigh of relief, and Willow, who Buffy had thought was absorbed in treating Oz's wounds,said "Good," from across the room.

"Now," Giles continued, "the most important thing is keeping an eye on Xander until the powder wears off."

Buffy said, "No, Giles, there's something even more important we have to deal with."

"That being?"Giles asked patiently.

"What are we going to tell my mother about the window?"

X X X X X

Angel and Drusilla staggered back to the warehouse, Angel cursing and Dru wailing all the way about how she lost her pretty, pretty present, and how Spike would be so disappointed, and how it was all Angel's fault -- bad Daddy! -- and that the only way she'd forgive him now is if he'd gotten her a truly fantastic anniversary gift.

They got to the entrance and Spike rolled up to greet them. "Where the -- Dru, are you hurt?" Drusilla ran up to Spike and laid her head on his lap. Spike noticed the holy water burn scarring one side of his love's head, then the deep, though healing, scratch along her left cheek, and turned to Angel in a cold fury. Gently he removed her head and rolled up to Angel, punching him in the stomach as hard as he could.

Angel gasped and protested, "Two -- three -- things. One, I got shot through the neck tonight. Two, Dru's the one that got this started. She threw tyrana powder in Xander's face! And three --" he slugged Spike in the face -- "Don't do that again or you'll be facing a long roll off a short pier."

Spike shook off the blow and absentmindedly began comforting Dru. "Three things," he echoed. "One, shot through the neck sounds like a good start. Two, Dru's unable to be responsible for anything, and you bloody well know that. And three --" He gestured to three burly vamps standing in the shadows. "Nobody suckerpunches me like that. Boys," he said to the three musclevamps, "Let's see how HE likes being underwater."

"Spike, no . . ." Dru pleaded. "It's my anniversary. Be merciful." His face wavered. "For me?" She cooed.

"Oh, very well," he said irritatedly. "I never could say no to you." He looked up at Angel. "You're off the hook. For now." His voice changed and he gestured to a smaller female vampire, who came carrying a small basket and handed it to Spike. Spike in turn gave it Dru, who uncovered it tentatively and trilled in delight when she saw the contents.

"Oh, Spike! You got all my dollies new clothes!" She picked up each small outfit and oohed and aahed about it.

"It was a joy to pick them out, love." He noticed Angel trying to pull a fast fade. "Hey, mate," he said in a phony pleasant voice. "Where's your present for Dru?"

Dru ran up to Angel. "Yes, Daddy. Where's my present?" Angel said nothing. "Well?"

"I'm sorry, Dru, but with trying to kill the Slayer and all, well . . . I forgot."

"My anniversayr celebration," she said sweetly, "You forgot my anniversary. And I thought you loved me." She turned to Spike. "Since my first present didn't work, here's another one. You know those little plans you had for our Angel? Well, go ahead and do them. Just nothing permanent. He is my Daddy."

Angel howled in protest as the three musclebound vamps grabbed him from behind and started dragging him off towards the docks. Dru turned to Spike. "Now, love, are you ready for a party?"

Spike grinned a grin of sheer malicious pleasure. "I am now, Dru."