Title: Pretender

Author: Akane Arihyoshi

Disclaimer: God, count your blessings, people. I don't own this. That has to count for about twenty blessings right there.

Sora was a pretender.

It was amazing. Every negative emotion, just locked away. Hidden with a smile. Nothing ever hurt Sora.

You'd hear them say that. The islanders. Any one of them, if asked about Sora, would immediately smile and nod. "That's our Sora," they would say with a fond look. "Always so cheerful. Nothing can bring that kid down."

When Sora was only a small child, he fell down one day when he fought against his friend Riku, playing with the wooden swords they had so painstakingly carved. It hurt like hell, anyone who saw the already forming bruise knew it had to, but Sora just frowned a bit in confusion, before looking right back up at Riku with a grin on his face. "I think I need a little help getting up," he said cheerfully, taking the offered hand and standing up, ready to resume their game.

Of course, not all pain was physical. He dealt with emotional pain pretty well too. When his girlfriend at the time, Kairi, moved off the island in seventh grade, he told her that he would miss her dearly, smiling at her like she'd just told him a wonderful secret. There was no doubting the truthfulness of his previous statement; he really would miss her horribly. But when she asked him sadly why he was smiling at the thought of her leaving, he laughed and held her hand. "Oh, Kairi," he said, "I hate the thought of you leaving! But I don't want your last memory of me to be a sad one."

He was like that with everyone he knew. His friends came to expect it. To them, Sora without a smile just wasn't Sora.

He was the one they all went to when they had a problem. He'd smile, and he'd listen. He'd help. Everyone in that little group had cried on his shoulder more than once. Sora was the best damn thing that had happened to this group of kids. And to think. The only reason that they were all friends was because Sora had helped them, when he didn't even know them.

Back in third grade, Sora saved a kid named Selphie from being bullied by a few fifth graders. In fourth grade, he helped a boy called Tidus cope with his parents' divorce. In sixth grade, he gathered up the courage to ask a few of the unpopular, friendless kids to come join him and his group for lunch.

When they were fourteen, Sora kept a girl from committing suicide. He convinced the girl, Naminé, that she was a really wonderful person, no matter what he parents told her. She's still alive to this day because of him.

His friends all loved him dearly. "Just make sure you're there for me when I need someone," he'd say when they tried to thank him, and they would laugh. Like Sora would ever need comfort. But he'd say it again. Ask them to promise. They'd smile and nod.

Through all this, though, he always had Riku. Always. They had met years ago, back when they were very small. Sora had walked up to the boy one day, as he sat on the dock, crying. He reached down his hand and pulled the other up.

"Why are you crying?" he asked him curiously. Riku sniffed and brought a hand up to pull across his face and wipe away the tears.

"We just moved here yesterday, and I'm lost."

Sora brightened up at this. "Don't worry!" he cried cheerfully. "I'll get you back!"

They wandered through the neighborhoods for a while, finally coming upon Riku's house. The next day, Sora came back. They day after that, Riku followed Sora home. A week later, they were best friends.

In total, Riku had seen Sora cry once. It was on Sora's tenth birthday. He was just so happy nothing could keep it in, and much to his surprise, the emotion manifested itself in tears.

Riku was Sora's best friend. They did everything together. But Sora was a pretender, and when he was sad, or lonely, he never let it show.

No one knew what Sora went through. No one knew about the lies Sora told to keep them from worrying.

"My mom and dad are divorced, that's why he doesn't live with us." Wrong. His dad was dead.

"I work at the supermarket so that I can put a smile on someone's face." Wrong. He worked because his mom's income wasn't enough to keep them fed and sheltered.

Long ago, Sora had decided that he could handle anything by himself. He was the kind of person who hated to cause any trouble. He never wanted anyone to waste their time worrying about him. And so he never let anyone worry.

He suspected Riku knew something was wrong. The other boy was always so good at reading people, it was only a matter of time before he'd crack through the defenses. But that was okay. The thing was, Riku didn't really know what was wrong. If he didn't know what was wrong, he'd have no proof that there was anything wrong. Sora didn't want Riku to worry. Especially not Riku.

Sora was a pretender, but he didn't waste time trying to fool himself. So when Sora fell in love with Riku, he knew it right away. And he set about making sure that Riku would never, ever need to worry about him.

-.:.-.:.-.:.-.:.-.:.-.:.-.:.-

Then, one day, Sora's mother died. And finally, he stopped pretending.

Suddenly, he was alone. Terribly, horribly alone.

No one would look at him. His friends all turned their heads, ashamed. They couldn't do anything for him. No, they wouldn't do anything for him. After everything he had done for them, they refused to be there for him. And it hurt.

It hurt more than anything. Taking Selphie's hand, he looked into her eyes, sobbing. "Please," he sobbed. "You promised." She turned away, dragging her hand out of his grasp. His eyes flew across their faces, searching for someone who would meet his gaze. Not a single person. Not one. They all turned, and walked away.

Just walked away.

And then he felt arms circle around him from behind, and he turned and fell into the embrace, sobbing. He didn't even care who it was. "Sora…"

Riku's voice. He sobbed even harder. There was no way he wanted Riku to see him like this. He almost…he almost wished that Riku had been among the others, had left him alone. Because this pain, this thought that Riku had to worry, had to see him at his worst, it hurt more than abandonment. He pushed against his friend, desperately wanting to run and hide.

"No, Sora," he heard Riku say lightly. "No. Not this time."

The arms around him tightened their grip and Riku held him closer. "Why won't you let me care, Sora? Why don't you ever tell me?"

He waited until Sora's tears had slowed, and then pulled away slightly and repeated his questions. Sora lifted his head, swallowed, and turned to face Riku. "Because I can deal with it myself," he choked out.

"Bullshit," Riku replied coolly. "Like hell you can deal with this yourself. Like hell I should ever have let you. Why, Sora?"

There was silence, until Sora finally spoke. It was low and unintelligible. Riku frowned. "Sora?" he asked carefully.

And then Sora told him.

Riku kissed him back.

Sora was a pretender. Riku just happened to be his reality.

And if you think about it, isn't that what love is all about?

A/N: My first Sora/Riku. I'm almost proud. This was really just one of those little passing ideas that I decided to write, but not post. I was just going to write a few paragraphs to get it out of my system, and then move on to a good AkuRoku idea I have, but it refused to be put down. I don't know why, some things just do that. So I wrote it. I don't like it too much, but maybe someone else will.

As always, drop a review. It really helps, and it only takes a minute of your time.

Akane