Prince Charming Dissected (Chapter 6 of See No Evil)

Author: Isabelle

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Gossip Girl characters; this is just for a fun & entertainment.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Set after 'Bad New Blair', an accident leads Chuck to lose his sight. He and Blair slowly grow closer as she helps him adjust to the loss of his sight. Chuck/Blair.

Special thanks to Tati, my awesome BETA

--

"Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions." Unknown.

In reality, and if told from the perspective of a rational and ordinary mind, the purpose of Prince Charming is an ideology instilled in little girls in order to make them dream of a great tomorrow.

Blair Waldorf was anything but rational or ordinary, and the fact that either could be combined in the same sentence was both insulting and degrading.

Despite her fallen tears, her broken heart, and her broken past, Blair Waldorf was still very much a romantic. And romantics have a dim hope, never broken, never stilled, never forgotten, and always there. She was sure it was all those sappy black & white films she watched as a child. Sitting on her silk duvet and twirling her fingers as Liesl sang 'I am Sixteen' to a beautiful blond, blue eyed boy who kissed her in the rain. How perfect it was! And there he was – her own boy come back to claim her.

She felt her anger towards him instantly dissipate, and she just wanted to be in his arms once more, warm under the covers.

So when she stared at Chuck and he stared back at her, it was that moment of confirmation. That moment in all of those movies that she had seen. Prince Charming would come back, and he would be stunning. He would appear in the bottom of the stairs and sweep her off her feet. They would move to an Irish castle and have tartan-wearing babies.

It was Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant at the end of An Affair to Remember.

"If you can paint, I can walk."

If we can forgive each other, Chuck – I'll be yours.

He blinked at her, and she was sure she'd forgiven him before his lashes touched his skin, but the world paused as Nate slammed Chuck on top of a parked taxi.

"You slept with her!" Nate screamed.

The entire student body stopped to look at them.

Chuck stayed cool and stared at his former best friend with hooded eyes. Blair ran forward.

The calm stare from Chuck was enough for Nate to want to strangle him.

"You son of a bitch!"

Chuck's jaw twitched.

"Look, can we talk about this without your hands around my neck?"

"And then you left her – like you did with all those other girls!" Nate shook him and walked away, pacing.

Oh God, her laundry was so aired out, it was painful.

This pissed Chuck off; she could see it in his eyes.

"Yes, Nathaniel. I took what Blair kept throwing at you, and you kept throwing back."

Blair's stomach dropped and she wished the earth would swallow her whole.

"Oh, so somehow you screwing Blair for sport is my fault?"

Oh God, oh God.

"It wasn't for sport!" Chucked yelled. "We both needed someone."

"So you love her?" Nate was in his face again. "Do you?"

Chuck's jaw was twitching so furiously that Blair was afraid he might break it.

"You guys were broken up," Chuck ground out, eyes still narrowed.

"The same night!"

This caught Chuck's attention, and he looked at Blair. She couldn't meet his eyes, so she looked away.

"Yes, she told me," Nate hissed, and then she heard his next words because she was just close enough to. "Right before we screwed."

Chuck's face dropped, and Blair's hope flared up like little pieces of burnt paper, floating in the wind.

"Now we come full circle, don't we?" Nate whispered, then shoved Chuck one last time before turning and walking away.

Chuck turned to Blair, and with just one look at her, she knew he knew it was true.

"Chuck," she tried. He turned, and before she could stop him, he jumped on Nate, punching.

Three guys had to pry them off each other.

She was crying by the time Nate slammed the door to his limo and Dan managed to hold Chuck off.

She walked to him, her steps small as she gazed at him. His nose was bleeding and his cheek was already bruising on his pale skin. He pushed Dan off him and stalked towards his limo. Blair went after him, her heart racing. He stopped—he sensed her—and turned to look at her.

"Don't follow me," he hissed.

She shifted, still staring at him, incredulously.

"No," she replied.

He cocked his head and studied her, wiping his nose with his scarf.

"Get in," he relented and opened the limo for her. She slid in and jumped when he slammed the door after himself.

She stared at him wondrously, but he looked ahead.

"The Palace," he instructed his driver, and they sat in silence.

"Chuck," she began.

"Please don't talk. I have a headache."

She noticed two small scars on the side of his eyes and gulped.

He pressed his fingers lightly over his nose and winced.

She moved closer, unable to stop herself. He glared at her, and she couldn't help but smile. How long it had been since he had glared at her?

His eyes softened and he sighed.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked.

"Because you're back," she said in a small, tiny voice. "And the fact that you did it; and are now here, sitting next to me… I don't care how much you hate me right now. I love you, and I missed your glare."

There was a tear escaping her eye. He shifted for a moment but never took his eyes off her. Finally, he sighed, pulling her close. She let out a sob against him, grasping onto him for dear life.

"I can't stay mad at you," he whispered against her face. "I love you too damn much."

She pulled back and stared into his eyes, smiling. He loved her. She knew it, she always knew it – from the moment he first kissed her. She knew it, but his words healed her once-crumbled soul.

"I can't believe you did it," she said, amazed at how alive his eyes were.

His eyes crinkled as he smiled. "I wanted to come earlier, but I had all this recuperation time."

She pulled his head down and kissed the scars next to his eyes. "I wanted to be there for you."

"I wish you had been. The nurses weren't nearly as hot as you."

She laughed, and he pulled her in for a kiss. She lost herself in it. Somehow… somehow she felt like she had been found.

Her smiles were back.

--

They entered The Palace, holding onto each other, smiling like school children, ignoring the admiring glances from the hotel staff that had been kept in the know about the young couple.

They groped each other in the elevator, hungrily kissing each other, pulling back and sharing looks that they hadn't shared before.

"God, I love you," he whispered into her mouth, and she felt her insides melting and becoming mush within her.

"You're so whipped, Bass," she laughed, and he kissed her again.

"Eww, blood," She cringed when a dribble from his nose landed on her lip. He laughed and wiped it off.

He pulled her out of the elevator and turned to his suite, the place where so many good memories had been shared. They didn't expect Serena to be sitting on the floor by the door, tears down her face.

"Serena!" She untangled herself from his arms and ran to her best friend.

"B… I heard Chuck was back," she whispered, eyes closed.

Chuck knelt before Serena and sniffed. "She's drunk as hell."

Blair gave him a worried look.

"Chuck!" Serena smiled, looking at him, eyes glazed. "You can see!"

"Let's get her inside," Blair said and helped him stand Serena up.

"You're bad," Serena slurred. "Leaving Blair… she cried." Serena's face crumbled. "And today, I cried."

Chuck led them into the suite and placed Serena on the couch, moving to get some water.

Blair sat next to Serena. "S?"

"I missed my SATs. Dan hates me." Serena was mumbling. "I… I hate Georgina."

Chuck froze and looked over at Blair.

"Crazy bitch is back," she informed him. He sighed and shook his head.

By the time they got Serena showered and dressed in Chuck's robe, the blonde was drooling on his pillows and sprawled on the bed.

Blair sighed, rubbing her neck before turning to look for Chuck, who had ordered them food. "Feels like old times," he said, motioning for her to join him on the couch as he opened the room service plates.

She sat next to him, placing her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him.

He stopped what he was doing and turned to return her embrace.

"I'm sorry about Nate," she whispered against his shoulder.

He tensed a bit, then held her closer.

"I just missed you so much… and he was yelling and so angry…" She closed her eyes tightly. "God, I was angry with you."

"I know," he said, quietly, his hand making slowly circling patterns on her back.

"I also thought I was pregnant," she admitted, taking a broccoli from his fingers and munching on it.

He stopped the circling and pulled back to stare at her. His eyes were wide, so she smiled. "False alarm."

"You thought you were pregnant?" He asked.

"Yeah," she sighed, going for a cauliflower. "For a whole day."

He touched her face. "You would've told me, right?"

"Told you?" She snapped, the cauliflower in her hand waving dangerously. "I would've found your blind ass and dragged you back to New York, made you raise the baby, and named him Charlie!"

This made a smile break out on his face. "At least it wouldn't have been Audrey."

She smiled and kissed him.

"I've missed you," he admitted. "I thought about calling you everyday, but…"

He looked down.

"Don't look down." She pulled his face up. "I want to be able to see your eyes for the rest of my life."

His face darkened and he pulled away.

"What?" she asked.

His jaw twitched. "I…"

She moved closer. "Don't close up. Please don't close up."

"Blair… the procedure…" He studied her. "It's not permanent. It decays slowly. It takes a couple of years… but I'll be blind again."

Her stomach felt like ice and she bit her lip.

"Maybe not in a year or five… but eventually. Eventually I'll wake up one day and be blind once more." He scratched his chin, sighing. "I'll have to accept it."

She straddled his lap and pressed her forehead against his. "I told you once it didn't matter. It still doesn't."

He sighed and pulled her close. "I know I was selfish."

"Yes, you were. You were a selfish bastard, Chuck Bass, and I can't believe I had to go and fall in love with you."

He let out a chuckle. "I'm glad you did."

"Horrible! Do you know what I had to endure?" She demanded, glaring down at him.

She would've delineated what she had gone through, but there was a harsh knock on the suite door and he groaned, standing to answer it.

When he pulled the door opened there stood Nate with a black eye and a scowl on his face.

"Of course," Nate said when he spotted Blair.

Chuck stood before his best friend and glared down at him.

"Leave her out of it." Chuck snapped. Nate bristled and walked in, going straight for the bar.

Blair stood from her spot on the couch and went to stand by Chuck as Chuck stared Nate down.

"What are you doing here, Nathaniel?" Chuck asked, his hands in his pocket.

Nate grabbed a bottle from the shelf and yanked it open.

"So…" Nate stated. "I feel better than I've felt for months, you know."

The couple watched him as he took a large gulp and the grimaced. "This shit taste like… shit."

"The 1878 is better," Chuck offered, and Nate threw him an angry glare.

"Lower your voice. Serena is sleeping," Blair told him, and Nate looked in on the blonde. He shook his head and moved to close the door because apparently he had no intention of keeping his voice down.

Nate turned to them slowly.

"Blair," he began, and she grabbed Chuck's arm. "I'm not here to yell." He had noticed the way she stepped behind Chuck. Blair swallowed as she saw her ex-boyfriend spare them a glance before taking another swing of liquor.

"That night… no one remembered but me." He slowly walked to the couch and plopped down on it, bottle still in his hand.

Chuck walked closer to Nate.

"I… God… it doesn't even matter now. You're all cured." Nate waved his hand vaguely at Chuck.

"What happened that night, Nathaniel?" Chuck demanded, his stance sharp and stoic.

Nate looked at him and then looked away because Chuck always had the most intense stare.

"That day… you warned me against Carter, but I didn't want to listen. So I left you at O'Brady's and went to a game Carter invited me to. A card game. A high stakes game," Nate sighed, placing his head in his hands.

Blair swallowed.

"Carter manipulated me, and I lost about ten grand. I realized he was using me all too late, but you arrived at the last minute and you… you saved me."

Nate looked right at Chuck, and Chuck nodded, as if he didn't need thanks in saving him.

"So we came back here because I wanted to pay you back, and that's when I found my trust fund drained. Dad had done it. I'm pretty sure now it had something to do with the embezzling he was doing," he said bitterly.

He looked up at Blair. "It was still early, so we decided to go for some drinks, and we ended up in Harlem and a bit drunk. It was only about eleven pm when we got into the limo."

Chuck sat across from Nate while Blair stood behind Chuck, her hand on his shoulder.

Nate looked right at Chuck. "I confessed to you that I was still infatuated with Serena," he spit out, upset at himself.

Blair looked away, but Chuck grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"You told me I had to make a choice because it wasn't fair." He looked at Blair and swallowed. "You were right."

Nate's eyes glazed and he looked on ahead, as if he were alone once more.

"Then… the limo made a sudden stop, and Chuck got out to see what was happening. I was so drunk, but I remember a fight. I ran out to help Chuck. Some of the guys from the card game were beating him up, so I jumped in. Some guy threw me against the wall, and that's how I broke my arm."

Chuck blinked, attempting to remember, but shook his head at the failed attempt.

"They dragged us into the limo and locked us inside. Then they set it on fire. They set the driver's area on fire, but we didn't know. We didn't know it was on fire. I was in so much pain, so you, Chuck, you slid to the window that divided the driver's area and opened the compartment. When the window slid down…." Nate stopped and took a drink then looked right at Chuck. "When the window slid down, the smoke hit you full in the face."

He stopped talking. Blair closed her eyes, then walked around the couch and sat next to Chuck.

Nate looked lost and confused, staring off as if he were there once more, reliving the moment.

"He pulled back, screaming, and fell on the chair," Nate said softly, and Blair saw tears on his cheeks. "I kicked a window and broke it and was able to get the door opened. I then dragged him out. He was… it was awful. The screams…"

Blair slid next to Chuck, and he wrapped his arm around her as he stared at his best friend.

"I called the police, and I sat with him. I knew… I just knew he was blind. So I sat with him and I kept telling him I was sorry because I knew it was my fault. He had tried to warn me about Carter, but I was just so desperately unhappy."

Nate went on as if none of them were in the room.

Blair didn't realize she was crying until a tear fell on her hand.

"So I kept saying I was sorry," he repeated. "And then…" Nate looked up as if seeing Chuck for the first time. "You said just before you went unconscious. You said 'I care about three things, Nathaniel. Money, the pleasures money brings me, and you.'"

Blair pressed her hand over her eyes because she could see Chuck saying that. She could almost hear his voice. Burnt face and all, still loyal to the end.

Nate took three gulps from the bottle and set it down loudly on the table.

"But the truth is… the truth is you lied. Didn't you?" He asked softly. "Because you cared about her, even then."

Chuck looked down, his jaw sharpening.

"Yeah…" Nate said softly and let a small laugh. "I should've known. I should've known the day I walked in on Blair fixing your tie. I should've known when I found you two sleeping together, and especially when I saw you two dancing at the Masquerade. When I watched her get in the limo and head to Victrola, a sick part of me hoped that you would distract her, so I could get her off my back."

Blair sunk back, feeling like such a fool. Chuck stared intently at Nate, saying not a word.

"So I'm not mad… I just… I'm glad you can see, man." Nate reached for the bottle, but Chuck reached out and grabbed it from him, studying him.

Chuck sat back and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I hit you," he said, indicating Nate's black eye.

"I'm sorry I hit you, too," Nate nodded. "And I'm sorry about Blair."

Blair looked at Nate, confused.

"I knew she was in love with you, and I still… I still kissed her." Nate gave Blair a gentle look. "I knew she wasn't thinking about me."

Chuck slowly smiled. "Nathaniel, I believe you just became interesting."

Nate smiled and leaned forward. "How does it feel to see again?"

Chuck cleared his throat and threw Blair a glance. She understood it without him saying a word. She nodded, squeezing his hand and joined Serena in his bed. He wanted time alone with Nate – especially to tell him the sight was temporary.

She didn't realize she fell asleep until much later when she felt someone brush her hair back from her face. Her lashes fluttered and smiled as she saw him watching her as she slept.

"Wish number two," he whispered so as not to wake Serena.

Blair's brows furrowed.

"To watch you sleep," he said quietly, sitting on the bed next to her.

"You have a list?" She smirked. He nodded, taking her hand and kissing it.

"I promise you that before it happens you will see all those things." She told him.

He played with her fingers with a smile on his face.

"One of them is to see the look on Whoregina's face as we bring her down." He glanced at Serena's scrunched up face. "And she's family now… I suppose my wish list doesn't have to go in order."

"You have an idea."

"It's fucking brilliant, baby," he smirked, and the butterflies in her stomach shivered in anticipation.

She sat up and looked at him eye-to-eye. "You're going to have to ask my dad."

His brows furrowed. "Ask him what?"

"Well, I expect you to be able to admire me in my wedding dress, you bastard."

--

Chuck's plan had been brilliant, and there was no need to share it with Serena, who apparently thought she had killed someone, or with Nate, who was busy crossing the bridge to Brooklyn.

She did have time to cut Jenny Humphrey down so swiftly that Chuck's approval as she dropped the gay bomb twinkled through his eyes. He left her that night to hang out with Eric who seemed to need company and she smiled as she watched them walk away because Chuck Bass had always wanted a family. And now he had gotten his wish.

In school people couldn't get enough of Chuck Bass.

"So, blind boy is back," a voice hissed behind her, and her eyes narrowed. It was high time she put this tattooed skunk in his place.

She turned around, looking down at him past her nose.

"Please don't come near me again," she said with the highest of civilities, which of course was UES talk for 'fuck off'.

Colt smirked at her and looked her up and down. He started down by her skirt, then up to her face… and then he blanched. She felt Chuck's arm go around her shoulders and pin Colt down with his gaze.

"Find something you like?" Chuck's deep voice was close to her ear.

"No, mate. Just browsing," Colt had thrown her a wink and pranced away.

Chuck turned slowly and studied her.

She shifted a bit and decided it was no use in hiding. He could see it written all over her face. "The rebound guy."

Chuck turned and studied the guy, a look of disgust as Colt mounted his bike and helped a short-skirted sophomore sit behind him.

"Him?" He asked incredulously.

"He smelled like you," she shrugged and brought him down for a kiss.

Chuck pulled back and studied her. "He smelled like me?"

A smirk formed on her face. "You jealous, Bass? 'Cause it's cute on you."

That night they were finally able to get Serena out of his suite long enough for their clothes to come off. And when he finally saw her naked his face changed completely.

"Wish number three," he whispered, running his hand over the expanse of her flat stomach.

She flushed under his gaze, thinking she preferred him blind.

"Don't be shy, come here."

And he had pulled her before a mirror. She stood naked in front of it, and he was also naked behind her. With his hands he guided her to touch her own body.

"You," he whispered against her ear as his hands guided her own around her chest. "Are stunning."

She never considered herself fat after that.

--

He glared at Ann the first time she introduced them.

"And this is daddy," she had told the dog in a chipper voice.

Ann wagged her tail.

"Ann?" He asked, brow raised.

"Princess Ann, like in-"

"Roman Holiday," he finished, still very skeptical. She nodded, happy with his ability to recall each and every thing she enjoyed.

They went to walk Ann in the park that afternoon, lazily holding each other's hands as the spring blossomed around them.

"Hilda retired, by the way," he said casually. She stopped and turned to study him.

"She was like in her 40's." Blair said, still suspicious.

He shrugged. "She apparently came upon a sudden inheritance."

"Charles Bartholomew Bass, what did you do?" She demanded as Ann dug a hole.

He smirked and looked around the park. "Nothing, Waldorf. Nothing at all." But she still smiled at him because she was proud.

Many people didn't know this, but Chuck Bass had a heart, and those few that knew it knew it was probably bigger than most. Because he chose very carefully those that he would love and, once he put you on that list, he would give you the world – and he could afford the world, so it worked to his advantage.

He didn't treat her like glass, but he enjoyed placing her on a pedestal every moment he could. When he stared at her, she felt the world vanish. But even when he wasn't, he was always attuned to her. He knew when she was upset, without even bating a lash; he knew when he should walk away.

She was also learning to read him like an open book. Like she knew he'd been meaning to ask her something since they first began their walk, and he still hadn't been able to. He was afraid.

Not in the 'I will run away' way – he had already run away- but more in the 'I don't know if you'll agree' way.

"You have something to say to me, Bass?" she asked casually as Dorota took Ann from her hand.

He clicked his tongue and walked around her living room, pausing and lounging over his favorite chair. Her throne. She went to him and lay next to him.

This was more than just nice; this was perfect.

She no longer considered him sharp, his sharpness had settled into her and now she knew those cliff edges well – she had traveled them and survived. She had scraped her knees and cried a bit, but dusted herself off and walked on. And her love made her stronger than ever. When she had been 'in love' with Nate it made her weak and needy. Loving Chuck made her legs feel strong and able to with withstand a storm; he had buffed her and she was now shiny and pure.

Serena asked her how she was sure she loved him.

She said she loved him blindly.

And she was not afraid of falling, because he was holding her hand.

"The wedding is next week," he said to her, playing with a stray curl from her head.

She nodded. "Best man speech going well?"

He smirked at her. "There won't be a dry eye in the house."

She wouldn't expect any less. Especially not from Chuck Bass.

"So… I need a date." he didn't look at her, and she realized that she was ok with that. Chuck didn't need to look at her for her to know him.

"You asking me out, Bass?" She inquired, playing with the scarf.

"Something like that."

They were quiet.

"Ok," she finally said. "But with one condition."

He gave her that smile. That smile that lasted only a second but was pure and true. "You name it."

"You better dance with me."

He stopped playing with her hair and stood up abruptly. She was left lonely on the chair. He walked to the other room and, as he walked back in, she heard the sounds of their waltz slowly filtering from the study. She smiled and let out a small laugh. He walked in, shed his coat, and gave her a small bow.

He held out his hand and smiled at her. She nodded and stood up, letting him take her in his arms.

He held her properly as they danced quietly in the small space.

She didn't know how to feel: a man couldn't possibly be this perfectly imperfect. Otherwise, he'd be Prince Charming.

"I know I've done some horrible things in the past, even for me," he said quietly as he looked at her.

"You mean like leaving me alone for months without a word and getting a dangerous operation just to watch me sleep?" She smiled. "You're forgiven."

They were quiet.

"I know I've also done some horrible things," she said after a while.

"You mean like sleeping with Nate?" He asked, still studying her. "And kissing some random tattooed guy?"

"What's your point?" she asked.

"What's yours?" he replied.

"I suppose we're not the most pleasant people," she agreed.

"Most can't stand us," he put in.

"It's a miracle we stand each other," she nodded.

He leaned in and kissed her, smiling into her mouth. "We could… take it slow. Do it right."

A smile spread over her face. "Chuck Bass is a romantic. Who knew?"

He leaned in; his voice was low and husky. "Now you do. And that's all that matters."

She pulled his head down until their foreheads touched. "That's all that matters," she confirmed.

--

October 5th, 2015

Blair got me this leather bound journal so I could write, but I don't write. I'm not a writer nor a poet nor a romantic. I'm just me. I'm just Chuck Bass, and I don't need to put any feelings onto paper. So I'm writing the first entry to make her happy.

December 12th, 2015

When I woke today, I realized it would be happening soon, and it filled me with fear. Even though I have seen all the items on my list, I still became violently scared. The more I live, the more things I want to see, and the more I realize I haven't experienced.

After I watched Blair sleep for a while, I walked to our daughter's room and watched her sleep, because I became so very afraid that I would forget her face and the way her chest slowly rises and falls.

I didn't tell Blair, but I told Nate. He looked away because I knew he still felt responsible, regardless of the fact that I made sure those men were permanently in prison. I still see the heaviness in my friend's eyes because we were such fools as children. Such fools.

I prayed to God today. I prayed for the first time, because I wanted to be able to see my daughter's first Christmas. It took a full five minutes before things became clear as I woke this morning. I was so afraid that this was it. So I'm afraid of sleeping because I'm afraid of that 'one day,' when the five minutes will last the rest of my life.

I think Blair knows, because she looks at me more often. Like she can't tear her gaze away. I feel sadness because even though I know my Queen can handle anything, it'll still be hard on her.

December 25th, 2015

Apparently God listens, because I can still see my 10 month-old make a mess out of our living room as she happily tears all the expensive wrapping paper to a million pieces. It was worth it, I tell myself as I watch her – Blair laughing as she takes pictures. So we can see them later. So that Blair can see them later.

It's cold in New York this time of year, and Roberta warms herself on my feet. Roberta is Ann's puppy. Poor Ann died earlier in the year. Blair had Roberta trained as a seeing-eye dog behind my back, and now I think the animal senses her time is coming because she doesn't leave my side.

I think Blair knows because I was never close to the animals, but I let Roberta warm my feet.

December 28th, 2015

I prayed to God a second time today, because I just wanted to see Blair one last time as I kissed her Happy New Year. Just one more time, I asked him. Just one more time.

This morning when I woke, Blair was watching me and her eyes were sad but accepting. "It's happening, isn't it?" She asked me quietly, and I touched her face like I used to do in those months of darkness. The same darkness that was now close at my heels.

She cried, and I watched her. That was not something on my list.

I don't believe in fate or karma, but I know I wasn't the most pleasant person in my youth. I actually know I'm still not the most pleasant person. Maybe this is what happens? Maybe not.

January 7th, 2016

It happened as I took a nap with my daughter in my arms. I closed my eyes and enjoyed her utter love and devotion and then… and then the darkness came. I knew it the moment I woke. I knew this was it. This was the moment.

I had seven years.

I sat up, still cradling my daughter and snapped for Roberta who was close and nearby.

"Get Blair," I told the dog quietly, and she understood.

I heard her steps as she approached me, and I smiled softly. She still walked the same, so I would always know when she was near.

"Chuck?" She asked, and I could sense that desperation in her voice.

"Take the baby," I told her, and I felt her press her lips on my forehead once the baby was back in her arms.

I petted Roberta as she sat dutifully next to me when Blair came back without the baby and sat on my lap, like she always did.

She rested her head on my shoulder, and I remembered how beautiful she had always looked doing that.

I felt the wetness of her tears dribble on my neck, and I held her closer. This time she didn't wet my lashes with false hopes. My Blair was now grown up.

Her lips found my lashes, and I felt her press a kiss to them, just like she did our first night together.

"I don't care that you're blind," she repeated against my face. And I didn't, either. Not any more. I was done being scared.

I was always a gambling man, and this was the card the house had dealt me.

I think back on the days before the accident, and I wonder if it hadn't happened, what would my life be like now?

If Blair hadn't walked into my room as I dreamt of burning alive, what would've happened? If Nate hadn't pulled me out of the car, what would've happened? If Blair had never showed up at my suite to shake me back to life, what would've happened?

Would she be sitting on my lap now? Would our daughter be asleep in the room next door? Would we have hurt each other beyond repair? Would she now be an Archibald while I was completely unhappy?

It doesn't matter, it really doesn't. Every step I have taken in my life has led me to this very moment. The choices I've made, the people I've loved and hurt.

I prayed to God for a third time today and, at this rate, I might as well convert because we're having an awful lot of conversations. I asked him to never let me forget.

He's been pretty sharp so far. If I were a betting man, which I am, I would bet I won't forget.

I decide I won't write any more on this diary. I'm not a writer nor a poet nor a romantic. I'm just me. I'm just Chuck Bass, and I don't need to put any feelings onto paper. So I'm writing this last entry to make me happy.

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as certain dark things are loved,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries

hidden within itself the light of those flowers,

and thanks to your love, darkly in my body

lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you simply, without problems or pride:

I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,

so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,

so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

Sonnet XVII – Pablo Neruda

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The End

AN: Well, I hope you all enjoyed the story I brought you here. Let me know if you liked it, if you hated it, if you hate me :) I've done a few other pieces, perhaps not as bittersweet as this one but others. Thank you all for those of you who always encouraged me at the end of each chapter. Thank you very much!!