Tavington: Wilkins!
Wilkins runs in
Wilkins: Sir?
Tavington: Any news?
Wilkins: News, sir? Oh, no news today, sir...everything is ship shape and ready to go.
Tavington: Well, that's good to hear. Finally, nothing can go wrong! Everything is in order, I need not get angry over anything...and the best part...
Wilkins: The best part, sir?
The Colonel grins
Tavington: No Stump...
Stumpy saunters into the Colonel's tent
Stumpy: Fooled you again!
The Colonel rolls his eyes
Tavington: I spoke too soon apparently...sheesh...
Stumpy: And you were thinking I'd left?!
Tavington: Is there not anything you can be doing? As far away from here as is possible? I mean, as in another country altogether?
Wilkins snickers
Stumpy: eyes Wilkins No, why should I leave?
Tavington: Because you are an annoying little rebel pest?
Stumpy: Honestly, why?
The Colonel blinks and stares at him
Tavington: You make me want to run myself thru with a couple bayonets...not to mention, you keep trying to entice my men to come over to your side, and all for what?!
Stumpy: Because, we won the war...
More eye rolling
Tavington: I hardly doubt that's a good reason. You've had Wilkins running round after you like a lovesick puppy! Are you mental?!
Stumpy: Mental? Me? Yeah...that's not funny Tavington!
Borden enters the tent
Borden: Sir, I have good news.
Tavington: Thank the Gods! What is it?
Borden: Lt. Colonel Tarleton answered your letter. I have it here, if you'd like to look at it?
Tavington: It's about time the old man answered me!
Stumpy: Tarleton? As in Banastre Tarleton?
Tavington: Yes, as in Banastre Tarleton...who else would it be?
Stumpy eyes the letter in the Colonel's hand
Stumpy: You know who he is, right?
Tavington: rolls eyes at Stumpy Yes, of course I know who he is!
Stumpy: Isn't he the one you were based on?
Tavington: What if he is?
Stumpy: He didn't even die!
Borden & Wilkins leave the tent...fast
You?!
Tavington: No, he didn't...
Stumpy: But you did...
Tavington: There you go again! Always reminding about that...do you get a particular joy out of me dying or something?!
Stumpy: Of course I do! Revenge for you killing both Thomas and Gabriel! Tarleton didn't kill any of my family!
Tavington: snickers at this No, he didn't...now see here you short little man, wasn't your character Francis Marion, Swamp Fox?
Stumpy nods happily
Stumpy: Indeed he was...nothing bad can be said about him...unlike you, or that Tarleton fellow.
Tavington: At least our names are remembered, Stumpy...how many do you know of, wrote anything about Francis Marion?
Stumpy: A couple biographies...
Tavington: Not that sort of thing! Fan fiction stories?! Romance! Drama! Poetry! How many have wrote anything like that about him?!
Stumpy: Well...not about him, mind you...but about me.
The Colonel shakes his head slowly
Tavington: You?! Not you! Him!
Stumpy: Don't see much on Tarleton, either...what's your point, Tavington?
Tavington: pulls out a huge leatherbound book and shakes it at Stumpy Care to place a wager on that?
Stumpy: How much?
Tavington: Oh, how about...nothing too big...oh, a thousand pounds?
Stumpy looks shocked
Stumpy: A thousand pounds?! I don't have that kind of money!
Tavington: I thought you did?
Stumpy: Did you see what my last movies made?!
Tavington: Funnily enough, yes I did...again, I sincerely apologise for that...
Stumpy stares at him
Stumpy: Yes, so I don't have that kind of money...
Tavington: Well, what do you have?
Stumpy goes thru his wallet
Stumpy: Well, let's see now...starts counting...I have about four dollars, plastic and two sticks of gum.
Tavington: That's it?
Stumpy: Yes, that's all I've got...
Tavington: What's the plastic thing?
Stumpy: It's a credit card, use it in place of money...
Tavington: Eh, no...I'll pass...four dollars and two sticks of gum? Hmmm...okay fine, I'll take that! Not to mention, your eldest daughter, too..
Stumpy stares at him again
Stumpy: What do you want my eldest daughter for?!
Tavington: My ladies and myself, are in need of a good servant...and, since your last few movies have all been well, shall we say, pitiful...someone has to support you. I would think, you'd be happy to get money any way you can...besides, she's also quite pretty. Never know, she could make a fine addition to my harem...
Stumpy: WHAT?!
Tavington: You heard me, Stumpy...
Stumpy: My daughter will not be part of your Limey harem, Tavington!
Tavington: Is that so?
Stumpy: Yes, it is!
Tavington: Alright then...I mean, honestly, all you had to do was say that you wanted in...
Stumpy: WHAT?!
Tavington: You're going to need alot of help...
Stumpy: WHAT?!
Tavington: I know the make-up people can do wonders these days, but you...that will take an act of the Gods...
shudders at the thought
Stumpy runs out of the tent in tears
Tavington: Not everyone can look as dashingly handsome as I do...
snickers evilly