TAVINGTON, WILKINS & STUMPY(aka, Mel Gibson):
Tavington: You know, I was reading something rather interesting today.
Wilkins: And that was what?
evil look
Wilkins: Erm...sorry, Sir.
Tavington: Well it says here waves paper at Wilkins , that Stumpy might have a new movie to do.
Wilkins: Well that's good, Sir.
rolls eyes
Tavington: How can that be good, WIlkins? Have you seen his last lot of movies? Terrible, terrible.
Wilkins: No Sir, I haven't seen much of what he's done.
Tavington: You're serious?
shuffling of feet
Wilkins: Yes Sir I am serious. I don't have much leisure time, you know?
rolls eyes again
Tavington: Well not all of us, can have leisure time to do as we please. I, being the Colonel of course, have quite a bit of it.
Wilkins: Yes, I know you do, Sir.
Stumpy wanders in
Tavington: Oh look, Stumpy came for his usual boring, annoying visit again...
grumbles
Stumpy: Shut it, Tavington.
shocked look from the Colonel
Tavington: Oh dear, looks like Stumpy got up on the short side of the bed today...
snickers
Stumpy: I killed you once, Tavington...
snickers more
Tavington: True, but as you can no doubt see, I'm very much alive still...I've got women falling at my feet, stories being wrote about me...what more could I ask for?
Wilkins: Another movie about you...
nasty look from Tavington
Wilkins: Sir!
Stumpy: You're dead! How can there be another movie about you?!
Tavington: Well you see, my dear Stumpy, they can always make one about my life BEFORE The Patriot. Unlike you, of course...
Stumpy: And that's suppose to mean what, Tavington?
snickers again
Tavington: Benjamin Martin is a right bore, honestly. What could they possibly do to make you look interesting? I've seen the last few movies you've undertaken...I offer my sincereiest sympathy to you.
bows slightly
Stumpy glares at him
Stumpy: What about that wizard you've been parading around as?
Tavington: Still an evil bastard.
Stumpy: So?
Tavington: Plus, he's wickedly handsome and sexy, and all the women want him. Not much difference between me and him..besides...
Wilkins interrupts
Wilkins: Sir?
Tavington: What Wilkins?!
clears throat
Wilkins: We've still got a war to fight.
Tavington eyes him furiously
Tavington: I know that you buffoon!
Stumpy: About that wizard...
Tavington: You still on about that, Stumpy? Ok fine, he carries a big stick, I carry a big sword...happy now?
Stumpy: Well sure...
Tavington: He's always trying to off people...I accomplished that...I'm called THE BUTCHER...he's called the DEATH EATER. Yes, again not much that's different, Stumpy.
Wilkins: Sir?
points saber at Wilkins
Tavington: Now what, Wilkins?!
Wilkins backs away
Wilkins: Erm Sir, the war...
smacks Stumpy
Stumpy: Hey, what did you do that for, Tavington?!
Tavington: Wilkins moved, you didn't...and, I don't like you much...
Wilkins: He killed you, Sir.
gives Wilkins a dirty look
Tavington: Need you always remind of that?! Honestly, it's not like I can't remember it! I WAS there, after all!
Stumpy: America is winning the war, Tavington.
Tavington: I know we have a war going on...
Wilkins: The Americans are wanting independance from Britain, Stumpy.
Tavington stares at him in disbelief
Tavington: They already got it, you idiot!
Wilkins: But Sir...
Stumpy: Well now, you know...Revolutionary War...
Tavington shakes his head
Tavington: You two are idiots...
Stumpy: Why do you say that? America is fighting a war on the enemy, to win her independance from tyanny...to sever ties with the King...
Tavington shakes head again
Tavington: Dear God, man! This isn't 1776! It's 2008! There is no King! America has been free for well over two hundred years now!
Stumpy looks confused
Stumpy: Didn't I tell you to stand in a trench, so that I could actually look you in the eye?
Tavington swears loudly
Tavington: I do not believe this...
Stumpy: What?