Author's Note: Hi. This is my first fanfic to be posted. I thought I might as well get some help in improving my writing. I've recently discovered CCS; I'm already hooked. Anyway, the idea from this story I found in another author's story. Don't worry and hit the plagiarism button; it's different. But he/she had a really interesting idea. What if the Clow Cards weren't all nice and an easy capture? Well, I though it was interesting anyway. =P If anyone knows of this author, please convince him/her to write his/her story. If you are that person I'm talking about. Thanks for your idea!! Please, please write your story. Send me a notice if you do; I'll be looking forward to reading it. Okay, so if you like please review; if you don't, you can send me mean messages but accompany it with some critical comments like how I could improve it. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I agree with everyone else; this is depressing. I don't own CCS, CLAMP does, and what a wonderful job they do too. So I'm not liable to be sued. Okay?
When Everything Else is GoneChapter 1: Broken
She was seated immobile by the side of a hospital bed; her father amidst a jungle of wires and tubes, a yellowish IV feeding him his survival. He was in a coma, so they said, but she knew he wasn't. He was just asleep, magically asleep, the work of the Sleep card. The memory resurfaced in her vision: her failure to notice the card earlier, the sprightly Sleep which wound its curse around those at the university so many months ago. Most of who had been affected had perished too, drifting off into unconsciousness without apparent reason and wasting away never to open their eyes again.
She had cried so many nights afterward cursing the name Clow Reed, bitter beyond her fifteen years. But now, her tears were dried, her eyes refused to shine, closed off she contemplated her life. There was no one. Her brother had passed that morning, having been burned horribly by the Mist. She had tried to save him, even Syaoran had helped, but neither could stop the card. She was weak; she felt it in her bones, her cowardice and stupidity; she was so close to taking the easy way out and finish it all, but she knew what the consequences would be. There was fear at doing what she yearned for, a release, but also guilt. She would not, if she had one last breath in her body, allow the rest of the world to suffer as those around her have.
She got up, smoothing her uniform, gently placing a goodbye kiss on her father's head. Closing the door behind her, she wanted to ignore the beeps, the shallow breaths, the motionless man crippled in the bed. But she couldn't, and she refused to even try. It was a reminder of what she had to do, what she was destined to do: seal the cards and suffer for it. She passed her brother's former room, the nurse carefully tucking in the newly washed white linen sheets. She knew she wouldn't find Yukito there; he had stayed close to Touya for the past week, watching in despair as her brother's life force slipped slowly away. He was probably grieving alone; she wished she could comfort him, but he hated her. An unforgiving rage that can only by caused by the death of a loved one. He knew. He had seen her stand with her wand pointed as the green fog had wrapped Touya in its smoky tendrils. She didn't stop it, and he blamed her. He had reached down into himself to beat her with the harshest words he could find ignoring her pain. He was right. She blamed herself, but knew there wasn't anyone around who would comfort her. So she passed along the hallway, Clow key bouncing with her step constantly reminding her of her mission. Sometimes she had dreamed of death, to fall asleep like her father and never be forced to go to school, to see pity in those she had been friends with, to face each Clow card unwaveringly, desperately hoping that those around her were safe. But that's all they were: dreams. And to school, she must go, and so she went.
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He watched silently from the lower boughs of a cherry blossom tree. He kept his gaze fixed on a lithe, auburn haired girl. She limply walked through the gates to look in his direction, eyes meeting eyes. Her face tried to pull the ends of her mouth upward, but to no avail. She remained tight lipped, her eyes radiating more pain than can be ever said. She continued silently through the school door and disappeared down the bustling hallway, a silent ghost amidst life. He sighed at how each day seemed to become worse, how he ached to see her as she was, but knew that they had tried so hard to stop the pain, but had only succeeding in delaying the inevitable. He didn't know her brother had died this morning, but somehow he saw it in her gaze, something barely perceptible but still a sadness deeper than the ocean. She was without family, living with Tomoyo, watching her loved ones pass on thinking that she was to blame. He had almost lost a loved one too, or rather two.
It was the capture of the Twin card; he and Meiling battled furiously with the card, matching move for move. But like all the others, that card had only hate and violence in its intentions, increasing their attacks without stop. He and Meiling couldn't last, gaining only a few solid hits against the magical forces. The creatures had narrowed their sights on Meiling doubling their ferocity and mercilessly hammering away at her, the bruises and fractures forming under their punches and kicks. He tried in vain to attack, to draw their attention. The only thing he felt was pain: Meiling was unconscious as the twins prepared to deliver a final blow. But they were blocked by Sakura, standing before them radiating energy from the Power card. They glared; she returned it. She ended up capturing them, not without a few broken ribs and bruises. Struggling to stand, she crouched before Meiling who was still unconscious but alive; Sakura's tears wetted the pavement as she hugged the laying figure and apologized until her voice grew hoarse and her body wracked with convulsive dry sobs. His heart winced at the sight; two people he cared for had suffered at the hands of two innocent looking beings. He urged Meiling to go home after her recovery; she had reluctantly agreed, but first forcing him to swear on his life that he'd see that Sakura stayed alive. She knew how he felt about Sakura. It was an easy promise to make, but as the days went by, he found it wasn't easy to keep.
The bell rang, and he jumped from his branch to trace the card mistress' path into the school, following the rows of pitying faces and her faint aura.
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I walked through the gates to find myself assaulted by a familiar aura; I found its owner staring at me from the boughs of a cherry blossom tree. I tried to smile, to tell him I was fine, but I couldn't. It wasn't possible. The phantom grief of Touya's death remained embedded at the back of my consciousness. I passed on, hoping he would understand my need for solitude and braced myself for the pity that would assault me as I entered the school. I wasn't disappointed. I dragged my heels down the hallway having the nerve every now and then to look people in the eye only to see pity staring back at me. They didn't know about Touya; I wasn't going to tell them. They'd only give me more sympathetic looks without real comfort.
This was habit; spinning the locker combination and taking the books out, unconscious actions. I had felt sorry for myself every morning for so long, but today it had changed to bitterness. Why had fate become so cruel as to lay an impossible destiny at my feet and force me to comply? They had even left me without guidance as Keroberos had sacrificed himself so that I could capture the Wood. I was left alone for so long without an idea of how to capture the cards, to helplessly watch TV reports of people who had mysteriously suffered traumas fully knowing what had caused them this pain. A Clow Card and my incompetence. I was so lost; I had even given over my cards to Syaoran when he first came. He demanded that I hand them over, and I did, almost joyfully. I prayed that it would be the end, only to despair that the cards had returned themselves to my desk the next morning. I was bound; there was no escape. Syaoran understood soon enough as he tried to face off the against the cards. I tried to talk him out of it knowing he would be hurt. He was, and my heart ached every time because I could not do anything except twirl my wand uselessly and cry. How else was a ten year old supposed to deal? It didn't get better; Meiling had followed Syaoran's arrival. She was intimidating thinking I'd falter under her gaze. I didn't; instead, I pleaded with her to let me handle it alone, to convince Syaoran to forget his mission. She didn't listen to me, and she was hurt, knocked unconscious by the Twin. The flood gates had opened then and I had wept without control. Someone else had suffered for my stupidity. Thankfully Syaoran had convinced her to leave and she was now safely nestled in Hong Kong; that only left him to convince. But now was not the time for this contemplation; it was time to steel myself and begin another day.