This is the worst of the chapters, but also the most humorous.

Chapter One: The Note

It was a rainy day at Smash Mansion. Rain drizzled outside, pit-patting on the roof of the huge place. The Smashers had no hope of seeing daylight within the next few weeks, and so they were planning to make the most of the rain.

In the kitchen were Samus, Zelda, and Peach. They were busy making dinner for the famished Smashers who were most likely outside trampling in mud puddles, and when they came inside, they'd probably have to buy new carpets again.

Maybe we should just get wood floors, Peach thought to herself as she kneaded the dough for the pizza.

"LINK! YOU GOT MY CAPE DIRTY, YOU BUFFOON!" Samus covered her ears.

"Can Marth scream like a little girl any louder?"

"I wouldn't bet him." Zelda smirked, tossing her chocolate hair over her shoulder as she grated the cheese.

"I'm sure he'd feel right here at home with us girls." Peach giggled a bit. "Alright, gals. Ready to put this baby in the oven?!"

The damsels and the bounty hunter slid the pizza into the oven and sat down at the table. An angry, mucky Marth trampled into the room. "Link wants to know when dinner will be ready." He stated flatly, glaring at the trio.

"Not any time soon, and get out! You're getting the tile filthy and I just mopped it," Peach snapped.

Marth gave her a death glare and stalked off, muttering something about dumb, stupid boys in tunics who get royal people's capes dirty. Peach assumed he was going to use her shampoo again. She made a mental note to buy some more the next time she got the opportunity.

"Marth is such a snob! I mean, come on! Who cares if he gets his dumb cape dirty?! He has, like, twenty more capes that will do until he gets it washed," Zelda ranted.

"No, Zelda, it's a special, royal cape that can't just be cleaned regularly, it has to be gentle washed, and we'll throw it into the drier just like it was any other cape, not Prince Marth's cape. And then it'll be not as silky and soft and Marth will notice and we'll be in trouble." Samus said sarcastically.

The girls chuckled a bit.

Ding!

"Pizza's done."

"Shall I go get the Smashers?" Peach was already out of the kitchen.

Peach stopped at the doorway that led outside and grabbed her pink umbrella. She stepped out the front door of the mansion, opening her umbrella as she did so. Rain hit her deprived umbrella like a bucket of freezing water.

So it wasn't drizzling anymore.

The front of the mansion was shrouded in bushes and flowers, with marble roads. (The flowers were mainly because of Peach and Zelda) a huge fountain with the Smash Symbol carved out of white marble was located in the middle of the greenery. On sunny days, birds loved to take baths in it and soak in the sunshine. The Smashers would often set up beach chairs and get tans in them if the weather was right. The weather was not right on rainy days, so instead the Smashers would just run around like maniacs and hit each other in the head until they'd bleed.

"Hey, all you idiots! Dinner's ready!" Peach yelled as loud as she could. They didn't listen. And if they did hear her, they didn't respond. Peach sighed.

"What's that Peach?!" Roy yelled, a big grin plastered on his face.

"ROY!" Peach became angry with just looking at the brainless redhead. She remembered the countless times he had annoyed her, sticking gum in her hair, eating her birthday cake before it was done while she wasn't looking, stealing her Valentine's candy, and restarting the video game system when he was losing and right before she was about to win.

Peach pulled out her Frying Pan of Torture, marched over to the dense teen, and gave him a good whack upside the head with it. "Tell them dinner's ready." Roy nodded and hobbled off to go tell the Smashers.

Satisfied, Peach strolled back to the kitchen to see the whole table set and two girls slicing the pizza. Putting up her parasol, she called, "Let me help you with that."

Zelda looked up. "Where are the rest of the Smashers?"

"I had Roy tell them."

"Roy? He never does anything for you."

"I have my ways," Peach said slyly, rubbing her Frying Pan. Zelda smirked.

"Well, put these pizzas on the table."

"Kay."

Samus looked up. "Hey, did you get Marth?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, I didn't. Would you mind to get him?"

Samus frowned. "Alright. But if I get dust on his sword, I'm in big trouble."

The bounty hunter walked to the hallway where Marth was. It was long, clean, and had pictures of the Smashers that were in this hallway on the white walls. The floor in the hallways was cherry wood flooring, unlike the main carpet and tile. It was a bit more formal than most of the mansion (they couldn't really keep it too clean because of Wario), but homey nevertheless.

Samus knocked on his door.

"What do you want?" Came the muffled response from behind the door.

"Dinner's ready, Pretty-Boy. Quit putting on your make-up and come on."

"How dare you speak to me that way, you imbecile?!" Marth sounded outraged.

"Who are you calling an imbecile, Mr. Self Absorbed?!" Samus snapped back.

"HEY YOU TWO, DO NOT MAKE ME COME UP THERE! MR. FRYING PAN OF TORTURE IS WAITING FOR YA!" Peach's voice shattered the air like broken glass.

Samus and Marth winced. "I'll be out in a second, Miss Samus. It's hard being this dazzling, you know. Or . . . you really wouldn't, would you?"

"Just come on, Pretty-Boy." Samus growled.

Marth opened the door, revealing the azure-haired prince we all love and admire (not really).

Samus sneered. "It took you that long to look like that?"

"Oh, I wouldn't be talking. It took you three hours to lo-"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT? MR. TORTURE WILL BE UP THERE IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTTS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The two high-tailed it out of Marth's doorway.

Smash Kitchen

"Ah, Samus, may I say that you're looking as beautiful as a clear summer day with little birdies and flowers and butterflies..." began Captain Falcon.

"Shut up." Samus punched him in the face.

"Oww!"

"Falcon, please be careful not to get blood on the white table cloth." Peach scolded him.

"What . . . did you not just see her punch me?!"

"Eat, Falcon, the Pizza's getting cold," Zelda muttered.

Captain Falcon sighed and sat down.

Smash Living Room

The Smashers were full, and the sun was down. Rain still splattered against the roof of the manor, and the smell of popcorn filled the air.

"It's movie night!" Roy cried excitedly, holding up a bag of movies he rented. "What do you all want to watch tonight?" He dumped the sack on the ground, revealing about five movies.

Peach walked in with a bowl of popcorn, frowning. "Those are all blood and gore movies, Roy."

"And you wanted me to pick some chick flick, didn't you?" Roy frowned.

"Oh gosh no, not the chick flicks again!" Samus said, entering the room with another bowl of popcorn. Everyone was dressed in their pajamas; Peach in her pink sweats and a T-Shirt, Samus in a blue tank and shorts, Zelda in a purple tank and sweats, and the boys mainly in tee shirts and shorts. Excluding Marth, who was in silk.

"None of these movies are worthy of me." Marth sneered, turning his nose away. Everyone ignored him.

Roy picked up one. "Oh! Let's watch this one!"

Peach stared at the cover of the movie. "Why pick one with so much blood?" Her eyes were reasonably wide.

"Oh, come on, scared, are ya?" He smirked.

"What--? No!" Peach sat down on the couch and crossed her arms. Roy plopped down beside her.

"Marthy-Boy, care to pop this is in for us?"

"I certainly hope you're not serious."

"Alright. How about you, Link?"

"Suuure Roy!"

"Ok Link!"

Link jumped up from his slouch on the couch (A/N: LOL poet and didn't know it), put the DVD in, and turned it on.

Smash Living Room

Peach, Zelda, Captain Falcon, and Marth's eyes were saucers. Samus had fallen asleep. Roy was wincing as Peach clung to his arm and he swore he saw blood running down it halfway during the movie. Zelda had her eyes covered with her hands, but she still screamed. Marth was just sitting there. Captain Falcon was clinging to a snoring Samus (he was probably lucky she was asleep). The rest of them had gone to sleep in their rooms.

Roy pulled his arm away from Peach. She turned towards him. "Is it over?"

Roy smirked. "Yes, Peachy."

"WAIT A MOMENT, I WAS TOUCHING YOU?!" Peach jumped fifteen feet into the air and pulled out her frying pan.

"Now hold on a moment Peach . . ." Roy began, but Peach silenced him by whacking him with Mr. Torture.

Roy seriously didn't understand that woman.

Marth got up abruptly and walked to his room.

The now awake Samus jumped at the opportunity. "What's that Girly-Boy?! So scared you have to go to sleep now? HUH?!" She was grinning ear to ear.

"Shut up." He walked off.

Samus shrugged. "What's gotten into him?"

Peach was done beating up a bleeding, bruised Roy and turned her attention to Samus. "I don't know. He has bad mood swings, don't worry." Samus smirked.

"I wonder if he's PM-"

"SAMUS!" The girls glared at her.

"What? Just wondering."

The Next morning

Peach sat in the kitchen, staring at a piece of paper, frowning. She was on the counter, and a bowl of batter was at her side. Zelda and Samus walked into the room.

"What's that?" Zelda peeped over Peach's shoulder.

"It's a note, but from whom I don't know." Peach shrugged Zelda off. "It says, 'If you want your precious Master Hand, then go to the alley on Nintendo Street for further instructions.' What do you suppose we do?"

"Well, Master Hand is the one who opens and creates the stages we go to. We couldn't even fight without him!" Samus propped her head in her hands. "And what alley could they be talking about? Nintendo Street is a good place. That's where Kirby's café is, and also Snake's weaponry. I thought they put little stands in the alleys."

"I don't know, there might be one without those little stands. And whoever can take Master Hand without us knowing might just clear a path on their way." Zelda leaned against the fridge. "So, what should we do?"

Peach thought a moment. "Do you think we should tell everyone?"

"Tell everyone what," said a voice no one could mistake. Link walked into the room. "Yes, I did hear everything," he added, noticing the looks on their faces. "So, what should we do?" Link imitated Zelda's voice. She hit him on the head.

"What do you think, Link?"

"I dunno."

"A typical boy."

"HEY!"

"And where is my breakfast?" Marth glared at all of them, especially Link and Samus.

"Oh. Good morning, Marth, take a look at this note I found this morning." Peach handed him the paper.

"Hmm . . . interesting. I'm going to go take my morning shower." Marth put the paper on the counter and began to walk off.

"Now hold on a moment, mister!" Peach grabbed his ear and flung him into a chair.

"Great, now I have to wash my ear extra hard." Marth sighed.

"Oh, stop complaining! Our Master is taken and we're just going to take our morning showers? Come on guys! We can do better than that! I say we go to get our Master back!" Peach had her hands on her hips.

"Well, we can't take everyone. They'd all just get in the way." Samus scratched her chin. "I say we take all of us and Roy.

"But who will take care of the others while we're gone and working? We need someone responsible."

"How about Snake? He's good with kids. And Ike, too. Mario knows how to cook . . . pasta." Zelda smiled. "It could work out after all. We just need someone to tell them all what's happening. Or, at least Snake, Ike, Roy, and Mario."

Peach pursed her lips. "Well, alright then. Link, go tell them." Link nodded and left.

Marth grimaced. "Why do I always get dragged into these situations?"

"Stop complaining, Girly-Boy," Samus snarled at him. "Or I'll break your face so you can't complain."

"Don't start, you two." Peach threatened. "I'll bring out Mr. Torture."

Link jogged back into the room, Roy following, yawning. His hair was disheveled and he was still in his pajamas.

"So, like, when do we leave?" Roy gazed around at them.

"When we all get dressed." Everyone began walking to their rooms.

Smash Kitchen

The six were now in the kitchen, fully dressed, and awake. Peach wore a pink t-shirt and jeans, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. Zelda was wearing a mini skirt and a purple jacket with a white tank underneath. Samus was just in jeans and a grey hoodie. Marth was dressed in his normal tunic, pants, cape, and boots. (A/N: don't forget his tiara!) Link was in jeans and a polo, and Roy was in jeans and a jacket.

Peach pulled out her umbrella, and everyone else followed suit. "Ready, guys?"

Roy frowned. "We're taking the car, right?"

"Well, yeah! But we have to bring our umbrellas for when we get out of the car, right?"

"Oh."

The teens piled out the door and into one of the Smash Mobiles. In the front were Samus and Peach, middle were Zelda and Link, and back were Marth and Roy. "Why do I have to be in the back, but also by Roy?" Marth complained.

"Shut up." Samus turned her head around so she could glare at him and he glared back.

Peach started the engine and began driving to Nintendo City. It would probably take about 10 minutes to get there at least. She hoped Samus and Marth could resist strangling each other in that time. "Do you guys want to listen to some music?"

"No."

"Okay then." Peach frowned.

It was exceedingly silent, except for the purr of the engine and the sound of the windshield wipers. Occasionally the sky would crack a flicker of lightning and thunder would follow. The roads were slick and dark, with puddles here and there. Thy sky was smoky grey and gloomy.

"I'm hungry," Roy declared.

"Well . . . is anyone else hungry?" Peach asked calmly.

"No."

"Sorry Roy, but it'll have to wait."

"Harrumph."

Peach sighed. "Only five more minutes before we reach Nintendo Street. Just hang on." It was getting a little claustrophobic in the car.

"Good because I can't stand sitting here next to Roy. He keeps poking me."

"Is it going to ruin your precious limited edition silk fabric from Africa? Oh you poor, poor thing," Samus muttered.

"I heard that, Blondie."

"What's that, Girly-Boy?!"

"Well, if you'd clean out your airplane ears, you'd hear me better!"

"BOTH OF YOU, I HAVE MR. TORTURE. DO NOT MAKE ME GET HIM OUT."

"Yes'm."

"Well, we're here." Peach had parked the six in the parking lot of Kirby's Café. "Now all we have to do is find that alley."

End of Chapter