Absolute Yaoi Boyfriend

Soulshipping x Spiritshipping

(No not the one with Yubel...the other one. Look it up in my Bio if you don't know x3)

Ok I couldn't help it! XD I was going to edit this some more (After Tails and Hermoine494 proofreaded this. Thanks you guys!!) and wait after I updated TransHeart a bit more, but I was too jittery and couldn't wait any longer! So here it is. My parody fic! X3

If anyone knows what Absolute Boyfriend (Zettei Kareshi) is then you -know- what'll happen! Yay! XD I love that manga. And for those who don't know -gasp- Shame On You! But don't go read the manga now! You'll spoil yourself. Just read this! It's almost close to it so yay!! :D

But I -might- change the ending of this...from the manga I mean...for those who read it. Hehe hehe, it all depends on who -he- gets to be with after all. And that will, in the end, be decided by...oh I'll save that surprise until the end. :3

And yes. Another Love Triangle thingy...with the same three from my Transcending Hearts. I can't help it...I love -that- particular LoveTri pairings. Hehe. And it will be plainly obvious here so hurray for you guys! 8D

This is also a AU fic...so just go with it please. xD But don't worry, they still duel here! Yay!

Disclaimer: Do not own 5D nor GX -and- Absolute Boyfriend! If I did own all three...I'd make this Parody a real TV show and have tons of Yaoi-awesome-ness for all of us Yaoi fans! x3

It's Rated-M for some sexual themes...for the not-so-near future. Hehe.

Side Note: Currently making a videeeeoooo for this fic...expect to have it up on my Youtube page around next month :P

Chapter 1: Here You Are

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"I'm sorry, but we shouldn't..." The tiny petit woman fumbled with her words, gazing down her hands as the man beside her merely sighed.

"Don't worry Rei-chan, I understand." The young man replied calmly, his dazzling smile in place.

Rei, sighing in relief, nodded her head, smiling sadly at him. "Arigato...Gomenasai Johan." She said before turning away, her raven hair flowing behind her.

Johan Andersen shook his head and shrugged nonchalantly, not feeling a tad bit sad of having been dumped...yet again. Stuffing his arms inside his pockets, he strolled off toward home. 'Oh well, it's not like I really liked Rei Saotome like that anyway...' He sighed solemnly to himself. How many girls had he gone out with? 'Too many, that's for sure...maybe I should just date men from now on...heh heh.' Moments later, he decided to sit on a park's bench, feeling the need to just relax before heading back. All jokes aside, he had considered his last train of thoughts. What if he did? He did technically have a sort of crush on a guy recently. Is that why he didn't feel down about Rei? Because he never actually liked girls like that? 'Oh well, no sense in thinking about that now.' He thought. Johan, however casually about it, still felt sort of let down by everything. 'Who knew dating could be this hard?'

Sighing to himself, he slowly lifted himself up and was about to just head home, grab a tub of ice-cream, and watch those sappy soap operas until he cried his eyes out when heard a noise ring from out of no where. Blinking, he glanced around as the noise blared loudly from behind him. Peering down beside the bench he sat on only moments ago, he caught a glimpse of a sliver razor phone. Blinking once more, he picked up the vibrating noisy phone, a tune he never heard of in his lifetime playing loudly and clearly. 'Weird song...it's catchy though...I like duets.' Deciding to answer the thing, he flipped it open, finding it to be written in English. 'Weird, don't tell me it's a tourist's phone...' Answering it, he calmly let out an English "hello" on the other side. "Um...Hello?"

"...Ah, hello. Did you find that phone?" The man on the other side asked in English, sounding anxious.

Johan nodded before replying back, realizing he couldn't see him. "Yes, I found it here in the park..."

"That's good! I'm nearby. Can you give it back to me in the small cafe in front of you?" The man asked. Johan blinked before glanced forward, seeing a small cafe on the far end on the other side of the park.

"Um...yes, sure." Johan replied, blinking as he heard noise in the background.

"Thanks, I'll see you then!" Then the man hung up, causing Johan to blink at the strangeness of today.

'...Ok...might as well.' Shrugging to himself, he made his way over to the cafe. Once there, he entered and found the small place almost cozy as the atmosphere washed over him, brightening him up a bit for reasons unknown. 'Hmm, maybe I should come here.' His eyes scanned for anyone that looked his way, finding none, he decided to sit down, and wait for someone to come up to him. He only sat for a few minutes when a figure in black sat down on the other side of the table.

"Yo, you're the one with the phone right?" The man asked. Johan blinked before peering up at him. The young man in front of him wore all black, almost as if on cosplay or something. His raven hair spiked oddly above and behind him as his onyx eyes gazed expectantly at him.

'Whoa, never seen him around here...weird.' Wanting to get this over with, handed the young man his phone back. The young man sighed in relief at the sight before tucking it behind the folds of his black jacket.

"Thanks, Edo would have killed me if I lost his phone...again." The raven haired man said the last part in Japanese, surprising Johan.

"You speak Japanese?" Johan asked in japanese also surprising the brunette.

The young man lifted an eyebrow before huffing. "Of course I do! I'm Japanese after all." He said arrogantly. Johan blinked before tilting his head. "You don't look japanese though...are you from Europe or from the USA? You have a fluent accent." It was his turn to ask, peering over Johan carefully.

The blunette blinked before nodding his head. "Ah, I moved here from Norway five years ago...I started my freshmen year in Duel Academia...and I'm just about to finish the Pro Leagues." He informed, the young man nodding to every word he said. 'Why did I just basically tell him my life?...Uh.'

"Hmm, so you duel huh? Interesting...so...since you found my friend's phone...I owe you. So don't take this lightly." The man began as he took out a sheet of paper out. "This doesn't happen everyday so you better be grateful!" He huffed as he handed Johan a small card with his name.

"It wasn't your phone?" Johan idly asked, taking the small card out of courteous. 'Hmm...he really is Japanese...Jun Manjyome...'

"Did I ever say it was my phone? How else did I call you with?" Manjyome retorted coolly, pulling out his own black razor phone to show him.

Johan lifted a blue eyebrow. "Why have two phones then? You and your...friend...Edo's was it?"

Manjyome flushed slightly, as if caught. "No-nothing! I had...er..." He glanced down before mumbling to himself. "IlostmyphonesousedhistofinditonlytohavelosthisafterIfoundmine."

The blunette, having understood everything, merely nodded his head. "...Ok...that's...reasonable." He blinked. 'I was right...he's weird.' Reading over the small card, his eyes widen as he read the company's logo. "KC Haven? I never heard of that...did Kaiba Corp create a new circuit for dueling again?" He asked, being reminded of Kaiser's new Pro Circuit.

The brunette smirked. "You could say that." Manjyome then handed him the sheet of paper he had taken out previously. Johan politely took the sheet before skimming through it.

"...Are these products of KCH?" Johan asked timidly, flushing like crazy at the "products" listed and illustrated on that single sheet of paper. 'Kami, who knew Seto Kaiba went into...these sort of business...wow...hentai much?'

The raven boy nodded. "And like I said, this doesn't happen often, since you found Edo's phone, I'll give you a 50 percent discount on all the times on that list." He smirked as Johan quickly shook his head.

"No-no, that's ok...What and why would I need...these items for anyway? It's not like I have a..." Johan trailed off, eyes sadden somewhat as he peered down the page.

Manjyome, taking note of that look, merely grinned. "Ah, and that's why I'm here...to make that happen." Johan snapped his head up as Manjyome pulled out yet another piece of paper.

'Where does he hide them?' Johan vaguely wondered as he accepted the third paper of the day. Glancing down on it, he found that it invited him to some sort of website. "A free three-day Kaiba Corp Haven Nightly-Series Product customly made to your liking...Eh?"

The brunette rolled his onxy eyes. "This will change your life...I assure you...take it. And don't worry about anything." Manjyome then calmly leaned back on his chair, black eyes locked with green. "All your problems will end here if you take that offer...Johan." His grin suddenly becoming mysterious.

The blunette furrowed his eyes at the sudden profoundness of his words until something hit him. "H-How do you know my name?" He asked, as he saw the black clad boy's smile widen.

"You should be heading back home now. It's about to rain." He sudden said, changing the subject, just as a roar of thunder signaled the coming of a storm.

Johan, having jumped up on his feet at the strike of thunder, glanced down at the young man before him, casually peering up at him in return. "Uh...thanks...er...Jun."

"Manjyome. Just call me Manjyome-sanda." The brunette replied, smirking at his own nickname. Johan blinked, before slowly nodding.

"Ah, arigato...Manjyome-sanda."

"No-No. Thank You." The man in black replied back, his grin in place.

'W.E.I.R.D.' Was all Johan could think as he nodded his head in thanks before taking his leave, the dark clouds above threatening to unleash its tears on the cruel earth. Johan sighed, figuring he should run for it if he were to make it back dry. Peering behind him for a second, he blinked in surprise at the now empty chair that, only moments ago, had once seated Manjyome-Sanda. Confused and surprised, he turned and ran; wanting to escape the upcoming rain like every other sane person outside did.

"I made it!" Johan cheered, having arrived at the complex-apartment. His room being apt# 172, on the highest floor. Using his keys to open the front main lobby door, he heaved a sigh of relief as the rain finally came tumbling down just as he closed the door behind him. 'Kami, I almost got caught in the rain...if it weren't for that Manjyome-guy-sanda...whatever.' Shrugging to himself, he briskly made his way toward the elevator, clicking the up-arrow button, and waited for the silent ding for its arrival. Humming to himself, he glanced down at the last sheet of paper in his hand, having not bothered to tuck it away. 'Could this thing really be...real? Nah, can't be...well…It is free...hmm, I wonder.' As he pondered this, shoving the paper away for the moment, the elevator door opened revealing the person standing there from within.

"Johan?" The young man, inside the elevator, said, surprised to see the blunette there. Johan, snapping out of his thoughts, blinked before glancing over to the elevator.

"Judai?!" Johan blinked once more as Judai Yuki, his best friend and well...his best friend, stood there staring just as confused as him. His duo cinnamon-chestnut hair disheveled as if he just awaken from slumber. Johan smiled, happy to see his friend so early--or late--in the day since Judai had gotten a job recently to kami-knows-where. "It's good to see you...where are you going? Are you going to work...in this weather?" The blunette asked, peering down the red umbrella in the brunette's hand.

Judai grunted before shaking his head. "I-ie, I was...uh...I just got here actually." Judai lamely said, his sharp hazel eyes averting emerald ones as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. Johan tilted his head to the side before sighing softly to himself.

"Ah, ok. Well, thankfully you were smart enough to bring an umbrella! I almost got caught in that storm!" Johan boosted, having entered the elevator, standing beside the brunette as he punched the button that'll take the two up toward their floor.

"Yea...I know..." Judai replied back, tucking the red umbrella under his arm, not bothering about whether it'll wet him or not--since it wasn't even wet at all. "So.." Judai began, peering over the unusual silent blunette. "How's...Rei...?" He slowly asked, his hard brown eyes now focused on the elevator door in front of him; watching his and Johan's glazed reflection against the steel doors.

Johan blinked, having forgotten about her. 'Wow, only a few hours passed and already I forgot about her...maybe I don't like girls...' Sighing to himself, he shrugged. "Eh, we broke up." He casually said, not bothering to lie. He couldn't anyway, Judai was his best friend. Why would he lie to him, of all people?

The E-Hero blinked in surprise before closing his eyes, nodding slowly. "Ah...I'm...sorry to hear...that." He replied softly.

Johan smiled, before shrugging again. "Eh, it's ok. I didn't really like her anyway...so I guess..." Peering up at the elevator, the number of floors slowly increasing, he smiled softly. "It's ok, Judai. Thanks though." He finished, glancing at him from the side.

The brunette nodded before opening his eyes, his face as if relieved. "Ah, then that's good." Just then the door opened, allowing the two boys to step out of the elevator. Judai, grinning to himself, gazed toward Johan expectantly. "Do you want to come over to my place and duel? Rally would like to duel with you again." He asked, as the blunette tilted his head to the side.

The Gem Master smiled as he nodded his head. "Thanks, that'll do me some good actually." He replied softly as Judai nodded his head in understanding.

"Alright...around ten then? So I can feed the kid something." Judai rolled his eyes, picturing his little brother complain already.

Johan giggled, having a similar image in mind, as he nodded again. "Sure-sure. I'll be there." Judai smiled before waving, heading off toward his room, which was on the other side of Johan's; room #175.

Johan opened his door, entered his small cozy home, closed the door, and plopped down on the soft sofa. 'Man, today was weird! Should I tell Judai about that Jun guy?' He thought before dismissing that notion. He didn't want to bother his best bud with his problems anyway. 'Judai Yuki...the Prince of Darkness...and my best friend...heh.' Johan smiled softly as he reminisced of times long gone. His start was in moving here in Japan five years ago, his first day in Duel Academia, meeting up with the, at the time, just Osiris student Yuki Judai. Not infamous yet since he didn't save the world (four times) at the time. Helping him fight against the Shadow Riders, protect the three god cards, fighting the Society of Light, fighting against Yubel, only to find out she/he was actually Judai's guardian, then fighting against Darkness itself. 'Man those three years were just plain exciting...and the Pro Leagues, just as much. I'm kinda sad it's almost over.' Since entering the Pro Leagues, the two decided to move into the same complex-apartment. And at first they thought of simply living together but couldn't when the PL's bought their two rooms for free. 'Well, I get my space and so does Judai and his lil brother Rally-kun.' He thought as he took his pearl/ruby boots off, his feet aching from all that running.

"Man, today was exhausting. And knowing Judai, he'll try to cheer me up...he's such a great friend!" Johan said to himself as he cracked his neck. "Ne, Ruby?" He removed his long blue jacket, smiling as he remembered, during DA, it had been a simple blue vest then.

A small purple cat-like creature materialized beside him, meowing as she leaped on his lap. Rubi

"Ah, don't worry Hane Kuriboh will be there of course." He answered, scratching her head softly as he placed his long jacket over one side of the sofa. Just then Sapphire Pegasus appeared beside him, his blue eyes gazing down Johan knowingly.

"How are you fairing Johan?" He asked, worry etched in his blue eyes. Johan smiled as he patted the side of his head.

"I'm fine...really. I just can't wait to go see Judai and Rally-kun." Sapphire Pegasus nodded, reassured.

"Alright Johan, good night then." He said before disappearing. Johan bade him a good night to him and his deck before lifting himself up from the coach, a need to shower on his mind as he entered his awaiting bathroom.

An hour later, he sighed in relief as his wet hair obscured his vision. Giggling, he pushed his fringe back as he sat on his chair beside the computer. Ruby, having napped while he showered, vaulted up beside the computer, a sheet of paper dangling from her mouth.

Rubi Rubi

"Eh? Oh, that." Taking the paper from her, he peered down and saw it was that 3-day free offer website he read early. "Thanks girl." He said absentmindedly. Should he really go for it? It's not like it's real...right? 'It wouldn't hurt to try...it's only 8...why not.' Nodding to himself, he turned his computer on and logged in on the website on the sheet of paper. 'It's probably some fake thing anyway...there's no way KC would do something like this...so I don't need to take it seriously...heh.' Opening the page, he blinked at the title in front of him.

Welcome to Kaiba Corp's Haven!

A 3-day offer FREE for our new KCH products.

Click Here for more information.

"Heh, alright." Poising the mouse over the "click here" sign, Johan was taken to a new page, one with tons and tons of lists of things to fill out. 'Oh kami, it's like a survey or something.' Peering down the title then the first question, he couldn't help but 'hm' as he poised the cursor over the selective options.

Nightly Series #01 Three-Day FREE offer...

Please select the options that describes your ideal lover below, and add recommendations for further customization.

Question #1: How tall would you want your ideal lover to be? (Insert your own height).

A. Taller than you. (Please insert desired height)

B. The same height as you.

C. Shorter than you. (Please insert desired height)

"Wow, this sure does look real...but seriously...customize your ideal lover?" Johan raised an eyebrow before poising the mouse over the letter A, having already filled in his own height. 'Well, if I'm going along with this...might as well make it seem real.' He shrugged as he began answering question by question. Blushing at some of the sexual ones that involved things such as "horny", "kinky", and, he blushed even harder, "dirty". 'Omg, hentai much?' Then he peered down the next question, slightly piqued as he hovered over the two options.

Question #152: Which gender would you prefer?

A. Male

B. Female

C. Both

D. Animal Features (Please write down animal name and specific features here then choose whether you wish for it to be Male, Female, or Both)

An image of Yubel came to mind.

"Ew...both or animal? Nooo thanks." He glanced toward the last two remaining options, suddenly finding this harder than it really is. 'Just click on female and get it over with...I mean...sure I have a crush on a guy..I think...but I can't really...uhhhh.' Confused, he was about to click on female, when the phone rang. Jumping out of surprise, his hand jerked and clicked away as he fumbled with trying to get the insist ringing of his phone. "Mo-moshi moshi?"

"Heh, you ok there Johan? Didn't scare you did I?" Judai teased on the other line. Johan visibly relaxed as he rolled his green eyes.

"No Judai, I was just surprised is all." He casually replied, clicking on options here and there.

Judai chuckled. "You coming over? It's almost 9:30."

The blunette smiled. "Didn't you say at ten Yuki Judai?" Now it was Johan's turn to tease as he heard Judai fall silent on the other line.

"...Ah...I guess I forgot...I was just anxious is all."

"Anxious about what? It's just lil old me...unless of course you were nervous in seeing my sexy self." Johan giggled, as he peered down the last question on the survey list. Eyebrow raised up in the air as he read over it.

Question #180: Which would you prefer your lover to be?

A. Se-

Without even reading the rest of the answers, clicked on A before a new window popped up asking for any other special recommendations. Taking Judai's stunned silence on the other line as a go, he began to type random things he thought his ideal girlfriend would be.

"I want my ideal lover to be clingly, charasmatic, a little possessive, and will defend/save me from anything. Someone who will love me unconditionally and protect me no matter what."

Grinning to himself, he clicked the "Ok" button and watched as the panel loaded to a new page with a confirmation of his survey.

Your customization has been confirmed...

Thank you for choosing our KCH Nightly Series #01 product.

'Hour and a half...wow, that was one hell of a long survey.' Realizing Judai had not answered back, Johan pressed his blue katana phone closer to his ear. "Judai? Hello, you still there?"

"...yea...sorry about that...I was just...thinking."

Johan blinked. "Eh? For that long? I was just kidding! I know I'm not all that!" The blunette laughed.

The brunet on the other line, however, didn't find that funny. "I beg to differ." He said calmly, causing Johan to pause mid-laugh.

"Eh?" Johan tilted his head to the side. 'Wha?' Seeing Ruby, who had watched him click away on the computer, eye him with ruby red eyes. He shrugged as if to say "he had no idea".

"N-nevermind, Rally just asked if you could come over now..." Judai changed the subject, as the blunette was left to ponder what the brunette had meant.

"A-ah, alright I'll be there. See you soon." He replied softly as he picked up his deck and placed it on the holder behind him.

He heard Judai's smile on the other line. "See you soon." A click, and the two hung up. Johan sighed softly as he glanced around him to see if he was missing anything. "Oh, right, gotta shut down this baby." He said, as he simply turned the screen off, not bothering to view the black bolded words on the page. "Let's go Ruby! I got two challengers I need help facing." Ruby, mewling, nodded before hopping on his shoulder. 'Alright, let's get my game on.' Johan casually walked through his mini living room, killed the lights, grabbed his jacket, and bounced off toward the door, a grin on his face as he made his was to the other side of the hall; forgetting everything about KCH, Manjyome, and the survey. 'What could happen anyway? Blah, that's what.' He thought as he knocked on the door, not even considering the last page that was left on his computer screen...

Your Nightly Series #01 product shall arrive the following day.

Enjoy!

Enjoy it, Johan surely will.

When the next day comes that is...

I'm sorry it was so long! xD I was really into this fic. So yea, and the next few chaps might be even longer! So bare with me here. x3

Oh, and never fear! Our favorite 5D guy will be here next chap! He appears here much sooner than my other fic! Wow! x3

Watch out Judai!! LoL.

And I'm also having a surprise contest! XD If anyone can guess what...oh I'll leave the explaination for chap 2 xP So wait for that info next time! Meh.

Loved it? Or hated it? OR You think it was a complete waste of time? (If it's the third one...I shall -destroy- YOU! XD Lmao!) Thanks for still reading it to all the way down here. XD I truly appreciate it!

See you next chappy! Heh heh.