From Twilight to Breaking Dawn Karaoke Chapter 1: Freedert's House of Payne, a twilight fanfic

Freedert's House of Payne

BleedingLOVER; Hello everyone, I have returned. And, making my great return and celebrating the end of summer for me it is August 25th, I have to say I like Twilight but I also love karaoke.

Edward; I just had to read his mind.

BleedingLOVER; Thanks but you are in my imprisonment. Readers call me Freedert.

Edward; Get on with this.

BleedingLOVER; Well then, everyone from Stephenie Meyer's series "The Twilight Saga" shall karaoke! XD

Alice, Renesmee and Emmet; Yay!

(Everyone stares at them)

Jacob; Why do I have to be here, I can't even sing.

Seth; But I love karaoke!

Esme and Carlisle; We like it too. (?)

Freedert; Oh well, let's get started, who wanna go first?

Alice; I will!

Everyone; Typical.

Freedert; Watch gonna sing!?

Alice; I will probably sing the perfect song for my Jasper; "If You Can Afford Me" by Katy Perry, or maybe "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry?

Everyone; THE FIRST ONE!!

Alice; I knew yall would say that! XD

If you want me,
The cherry on top,
The pick of the pack,
The crème de la crop,
If you want me you better do better than that tonight
Oh, oh

Jasper; Did you have to tell everyone!?

(Everyone shudders)

Edward; Oh the pain of begin immortal.

Bella; Why Alice, Why? T.T

If you want me,
It takes more than a wink,
More than a drink,
More than you think,
If you want me you're gonna have to break the bank tonight

Rose; Honey, the last time you drank something, you puked it right back.

Renesmee; What is Auntie singing about?

Edward, Jacob and Bella; NOTHING!

'Cause some don't have the patience,
Some call me high-maintenance
But you pay the bill,
'Cause that's the deal,

Jasper; I pay your shopping bill is more like it.

Jasper; Maybe this is why I am broke!!

Freedert; I thought you were the calm one!

If you want me,
I'm not a piece of a
A one night stand,
A storage shed,
I think you better walk by,
Tonight,
Oh, no

Jasper; Unfortunately, we are stuck forever.

Alice; I heard that!

If you want me,
Then stop begging,

Everyone but Freedert and Renesmee; STOP PLEASE!!

Freedert; (Laughs)

I don't put out,
For charity,
If you want me, there's no discount price tonight

But I don't need your dollar bills,
I just want something real,
Cause nothing's free,
Except loving me,

Jasper; And she finally admits it.

If you want me,
The cherry on top,
The pick of the pack,
The crème de la crop,

Bella; What is crème de la crop?

Edward; In France, it is a very erot…

Freedert; This is rated T+ only people!

If you wanna ride,
Just name your price,
And don't play cheap with your heart,
Don't make a bet if you can't write the check,
For me, for me,
Cause I can be bought,
But you pay the cost,
If you can afford…
If you wanna ride,
Just name your price,
And don't play cheap with your heart,
Don't make a bet if you can't write the check,
For me, for me,
Cause I can be bought,
But you pay the cost,
If you can afford me

Alice; I'm done everyone!

Everyone but Freedert and Renesmee; Finally!

Freedert; That was fun, I like karaoke better, well Renesmee, what did you think.

Renesmee; (Puts hand on his head and sees a long and ongoing word)

Freedert; … she is confused.

Renesmee; (Nods head)

Bella, Edward and Jacob; Please stop this... TT.TT, TT.TT

Freedert; I like this so let's keep going.

Jasper; A pain in the a,

Freedert; Watch it buddy boy, well who wants to go next?

(Something pops up in Edward's mind)

Edward; Rose just said she would, well thought she did.

Rose; WHATI, NO I DIDN'T!!

Freedert; Yay, your turn Rose!

Rose; NO WAY IN HELL HUMAN!!

Renesmee; Please?

Rose; Fine, (mutters something in Italian) sh

Freedert; Censoring is no fun, well Rose what are you going to sing?

Rose; I really don't like music, but I heard a song on the radio when Edward first met Bella that I took a listen to. (Whispers song into Freedert's ear)

Freedert; Oh, OH.

Rose; (smiles evilly)

(Music begins and Edward shudders)

Bella; What song?

Edward; …

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Everyone; She is actually good, unlike Alice.

Alice; Hey! T.T

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

Edward; This is my fault

Freedert; I take the blame this time.

You're so fine, I want you mine, You're so delicious
I think about you all the time, You're so addictive
Don't you know what I can do to make you feel all right?

Edward; Didn't want to know that.

Bella; Let me kill her when this is over.

Emmet; She is good but now, I need that bear more than anything.

Freedert; You finally spoke.

Carlisle; I like this song.

Esme; Me too.

Everyone; O.O

Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious
and hell yeah, I'm the mother fucking princess
I can tell you like me too, and you know I'm right

Jacob; Blondie has got a problem.

Rose; Shut it dog.

Renesmee; I like this song too.

Edward, Bella, Jacob; Should she be listening to this?

She's like, so whatever
You can do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about

Bella; Hey, here, at least I am not old!!

Edward; Who the hell would be talking about that!?

Freedert; So peaceful here.

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend
No way! No way!

I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

Jacob; Pendeha

Bella; JACOB!

Renesmee; ?

Jacob; Never mind.

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away, I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again (and again, and again, and again)

Edward; Everyone already talks about her and looks at her, they realize she is blonde.

(Everyone but Rose And Nessie crack up)

So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear
Or better, yet, make your girlfriend disappear
I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again (and again, and again, and again)

Because...

She's like so whatever
You can do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend
No way! No way!

I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

Seth; I like this hey hey you you thing. It's catchy.

Jacob; Oh dear Lord, now everyone in the pack is going to hear the end of this.

Seth; (grins)

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in
She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Edward; I just realized I never think of hell.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in
She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend
No way! No way!

I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend
No way! No way!

I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey!

Everyone; It's over!!

Freedert; Well, readers, please review, and oh by the way, Emmet is next. See ya next time!

Emmet; Yay, I'm next!

Rose; Remind me why this happened.

Bella; Save us all.