A/N: Okay, so i was bored and i felt like writing something to post, and since i really don't have the patience to write a proper story, i started a notes story. yes, i know that notes aren't very original, and yes, like in other notes stories, the characters are extremely OOC. but anyway, enjoy.

Hmm, this has a fair bit of sexual references.

Disclaimer: i'm only stephenie meyer in my mind. mann, i'm hell cool. actually i'm not her in my mind, but i'm sure you understand what i'm trying to say.

Bella Mike Jessica

Hey Mike, I'm bored, wanna have sex?

Aren't you like engaged or something?

Oh yeah I spose I am... well, Edward always tells me to go have normal babies.

...Normal?

YEAH, EDWARD HAS MUTANT SPERM. IT'S PURPLE.

You would know... So you still wanna have sex?

NO, you perv, get away from me!

I'm pointing at him 'cause he's a perv!

Bella, you have to say it out loud for Jess to hear it.

HEAR WHAT?

Mike's a perv!!

Yeah, I know. He winked at my mom the other day...

WHAT? I thought that was your sister?

I don't have a sister -sobs-

Awww it's okay, you can have mine.

Uh bella, you don't have a sister either.

I do in my mind.

oookay...

Right now in my mind, she's glaring at you.

What? What did I do to deserve a glare from your sister?

What sister?

The one... nevermind.

Fish sticks.

What?

I SEEM TO HAVE EATEN MY SHOE.

...Your shoe's gone?

Can you smell the shoe in my breath? -breathes on Mike-

I can't smell it when you write it down...

Try harder.

... Still nothing.

Well that sucks. Maybe it's YOU that smells like shoe.

Oh yeah, yesterday I tried to wear my shoe as pants.

COOL, I WANNA TRY!

No, really you don't. It hurt my balls.

Can I hurt your balls too?

You can do whatever you want to my balls ;)

Chop them off?

With what..?

MY IMAGINARY KNIFE.

Uh, maybe later... so anyway, do you wanna come over to my house tonight?

YOU HAVE A HOUSE?

Uh yeah, that's where I live.

Oh okay. I live in a pineapple under the sea.

You're not a sponge...

BOB!

So do you want to or not?

No, I'm busy.

Busy doing what?

Cooking Charlie for dinner and doing homework and doing Edward.

You're cooking Charlie for dinner? You into cannibalism now or something? ...doing Edward?

Woops, I meant... um. I meant something that wasn't that. But yeah I was ALWAYS into cannibalism.

What?

Yes.

Umm okay, I'm gonna go now...

Don't you love me anymore?

HEY, come back!

Now I'm bored again. Oh look, a sock!

Hope that wasn't too retarded. The sad thing is that I'm Australian and for some reason I often type mOm. Reviews please? s2