August 19: Bang, bang, blame.

OR "The Mating Habits of Homo Sapiens as told by Canis Lupus Familiaris".

Contrary to the belief that he was a lazy dog with mean attitude, Cerberus was really smart. He just decided that meddling with humans wasn't worth his time and energy. Anyway, he was closer to a wolf than any dog would ever be, and wolfs do not depend on humans.

Or so he thought, till he met The Guy.

The Guy was smart and daring, and had a scent of a born leader, something Cerberus rarely saw in humans. The Guy proved to be challenge, and Cerberus kinda liked him, mostly because he liked anyone who had guts to face him, not to mention to except him as relatively equal. Plus sticking with The Guy gave him few bonuses, like free food and a place to stay, which was warm and dry and therefore comfortable.

Soon, Cerberus learned that even though The Guy was acting like a mature human, he was indeed still a pup, and his world consisted of pups like him, or better say, or his age group, because none of them, not even the ones on the stinking bike things, had his kind of air around them.

Still, The Guy had a future, and quite soon, he had his own pack, none of them matching the possibilities of The Guy, but having their own abilities, which Cerberus approved as being useful.

And then, there was The Girl. She smelled of sugar, dough and flowers, as well as book dust and graphite, but as the after-smell, there was something defiant about her, something that The Guy might like. Not to mention that the food she gave him was better then the Guy's one, so he accepted her as he did for The Guy.

Cerberus found the reaction of The Guy to The Girl quite interesting.

Even though the Girl's smell of defiance and the Guy's smell of vigor were complimenting each other, they still acted like opponents. But then, there was a small hint of interest from both of them, so Cerberus decided that this was how the humans usually started their courting, and decided to observe some more.

First there was growling, The Guy and The Girl baring teeth at each other, but never going into an open fight, so The Guy probably tried to figure out whether the Girl was able to match his dominance, which she could, but behaved like a good female, accepting his rule over the pack. Cerberus couldn't quite understand why the Guy went through that much trouble, but then decided that humans are probably one of those species who chose their mates for life, so the long-lasting courting period had its purpose.

Then, the Guy decided to make the pack stronger, and she followed him, which was a good sign, because any good leader needs a support, and a mate is a best thing for that.

In many moons, Cerberus noted, the Girl and the Guy developed an attachment to each other, and were seen as alphas of the pack. There were moment when they were still growling, but as time went, there were fewer and fewer of them, and the Guy started to smell of annoyance every times some other male member of the pack was stinking of interest for the Girl – Cerberus didn't approve of it as well, so he usually bit them.

There was an exception for one pup which Cerberus had trouble biting because the human was very good at running away, but the Guy didn't seem concerned about that one. Every time he started to kick the pup around, the Girl started to smell of protection, so Cerberus decided that it was Guy's test to check Girl's motherly instinct, which, as Cerberus figured, meant that he decided to have pups with her.

He expected them to begin mating, but the Guy just continued to court the Girl, fighting with his pack against other packs and, for what he could tell by his pack's smell after the game, usually winning. The Girl smelled happy and the Guy smelled proud, but the cold season was coming, and it was strange that the courting lasted for so long.

As the snow started to fall, Cerberus decided that the Guy and the Girl would mate then the warming season would come.

And then he got confused, because he noted that the omega female of the pack started to show interest in the fast pup, and the human responded to that interest. Quite probably, human mating season was winter, and the Girl was trying to check if the Guy was able to withstand the cold, humans being furless and all.

Days grew colder, and Cerberus started to notice big pine trees with lights around the city, as well as human pairs walking around, and he started to suspect that the Girl and the Guy were not behaving like a normal human mates should. He saw them walking around together few times, but the level of affection he expected them to express just wasn't there, or was so awkward that Cerberus thought that the Guy is doing this on purpose. On the other paw, the Girl was the only female the Guy seemed interested in, so it was understandable.

And then, one morning, Cerberus woke up to the smell of arousal, the sound of mating and the Girl's garment on his head.

He barked in approval and was momentarily kicked out of the room.

He figured that pups, or whatever humans called them, will come soon, and started to think, what he should do with little humans, cause his last encounter with one ended with his tail almost ripped off.

The Guy and the Girl mated and the Girl stayed with the Guy.

And then they mated some more.

And more.

And more.

And Cerberus thought that rabbits and humans have the same ancestors, because no normal dog would mate that often. And so weirdly. Like in a place where they made food. Or in a place where they washed. Or on the floor.

He really needed to find himself a corner, because the carpet smelled like humans in some places.

And hoped that they would get puppies real soon so they would stop doing it all over the place.

Omake:

"Yoichi, Cerberus is looking really strange. He just sits sadly in the corner."

"The fucking dog is probably hungry."

"He didn't finish his food. Maybe he's sick. We should take him to the vet."

"Or maybe he is just jealous."

"Yoichi, I wanted to tell you…"

"Oh, I know what kind of news starts like that. So… What now?"

"You are taking this surprisingly well."

"This kind of thing should be expected with all that screwing we did. The only thing I don't get is why the dog is suddenly so happy…"