A/N: I would die a million deaths were it not for my dictionary/thesaurus. Love. Also, I have wanted to write a dialogue only fic for fucking EVER. It seems like everyone and their aunt has done one. Mine is kind of short but shush. I pictured something longer when I started but it sort of vanished.

Warning: Slash, Nerdy!Remus

Disclaimer: I do not own them. The definitions are from Roget's Thesaurus and English Dictionary, without which I would die. It's the 1972 edition, so Remus could in fact be reading this very one XD

Challenge: People on Bebo and LiveJournal are giving me prompts for Sirius/Remus fics, and I'll write one (or just biff the lot and write whatever I want) per day, posting them there, and here. This'll go on for the whole of May, so feel free to pop over to my LJ (link in my profile) and drop me a prompt!

Prompt: None. I have prompts to do, but... none. Because I can.

Dictionary

"Remus, you're like a bloody human dictionary."

"Dictionary, dik'shon-a-ri, noun. A book containing the words of a language arranged alphabetically, with their meanings, a work explaining the terms, of any subject under heads alphabetically arranged."

"How did you do that?"

"There is a dictionary in my hands, Sirius."

"Oh, yeah. Right."

"Right, rït, adjective. Straight; upright; just; suitable; proper; real; correct; belonging to that side of the body farther from the heart; to be worn outward; perpendicular; formed by one line perpendicular to another. Sirius, I am not an angle formed by one line perpendicular to another. Stop talking nonsense."

"Stop quoting your bloody dictionary!"

"Would you prefer it if I quoted a thesaurus?"

"No!"

"No; zero, dissent, negation, refusal."

"Argh!"

"Sirius, I can't very well look 'Argh' up. It isn't even a word."

"I hate you."

"Hate; detest, abominate, abhor, loathe, recoil from, shudder at, shink from, view with horror, hold in abomination, revolt against, execrate, scowl, disrelish, dislike, estrange, alienate, repel, set against, sow dissension, set by the ears, envenom, incense, irritate, rile, ruffle, vex, horrify, want me to go on? I must say, I particularly like hold in abomination, and envenom. From now on, I envenom things, not hate them."

"That is a pretty cool word. I envenom fucking Snivellus."

"Then why do you do it?"

"That was cold."

"Cold; frigid, colour, style, insensible, indifferent, unfeeling, dispassionate, hostile, malevolent. Oh, I wouldn't say it quite reached malevolent."

"Bloody close."

"Bloody; red, unclean, cruel."

"Shut it."

"It, it, pronoun. A pronoun of the neuter gender, third person, nominative or objective case."

"Be quiet."

"Quiet; calm, rest, silence, dissuade, leisure, inexcitability."

"Close your mouth."

"Mouth; entrance, receptacle, brink, opening, eat, estuary, enunciate, dr-mmph!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Sirius... you just kissed me."

"Y-yeah. Shut you up, didn't it? ...You know... mouth...and..."

"..."

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"Remus... you just kissed me back."

"Shut you up, didn't it?"

"..."

"..."

"..."