Visions of Sleep

By

Jennaya O'Neill

A few hours later all the men of Barracks 2 were finishing their dinner and talking about the next mission, when Anderson came up through the tunnel entrance.

"I thought I'd check on my patient one more time before night roll call. Has he been awake anymore?" Anderson walked over to where Carter was laying.

"No, I sat with him all evening. He hasn't stirred," Hogan answered.

"Colonel Hogan, I think he's just sleeping now. Carter, Carter, can you hear me?" Anderson shook the sleeping man.

"Is it time for roll call?" A sleepy Carter asked.

"How are you feeling, Carter?" Anderson asked.

"My head hurts."

"We'll get you something in a few moments. Carter, can you follow my fingers with your eyes?" Anderson preformed an exam while LeBeau brought Carter some water and more aspirin.

"Carter, I made a nice soup. Would you like some?"

"Oh, boy, would I. I'm starved."

"That's a good sign." Hogan smiled, relieved his man was better.

"I think he's going to be fine, sir." Anderson predicted.

"Carter, can you tell us what happened?" Hogan asked.

"Oh, yes, sir. I got to the rendezvous spot, but Marie wasn't there yet. I started looking around and I found a rabbit's nest. You see back home I always went out looking for rabbits..."

"Carter, skip to the part about the meeting."

"Yes, sir. Anyway, Marie was only ten minutes late; she was trying to avoid patrols. She got there and gave me the information. I had it in my pocket; did you get it?" Carter asked taking a sip of the soup.

"We got it. Go on," Hogan pushed him. Carter must not have remembered he told them the same thing hours ago.

"We said our goodbyes. Boy, that Marie is a really nice girl. She kissed me on the cheek and everything." Carter grinned. "I got to thinking about that rabbit's nest again and how good a stew Louie could make from a rabbit. So I went to check it out and before I got to the nest, I saw a huge white rabbit. Back home I always caught rabbits with my kid brother."

"How'd you get hurt, Andrew?" Newkirk was impatient.

"I ran after the rabbit but it ducked down another hole so I flushed it out. Then I saw it come out near a bush and dove for it. Guess I was too close to the ravine and tumbled down it. The next thing I know I woke up here."

"Carter, that was a dumb thing to do! Do you realize how lucky you were that we found you, and not a patrol?" Hogan was exasperated, more at nearly losing a man for such a foolish act than really mad. The actions were pure Carter and he'd expect nothing less, although he was trying to look after his teammates. "Carter, you're never to do something like that again and that's a direct order."

"Yes, sir." Carter looked as sheepish as he sounded.

"Just be more careful next time, Carter." Hogan added softer.

"Carter it would have made a good stew, but I'll make a fantastic one right after Newkirk lifts some meat from Klink for us tomorrow. Do you know how worried you had us all?" LeBeau demanded. "How do you like the soup tonight?"

"It's really good."

"Anderson, what does Carter need to do now?" Hogan asked.

"He will have a headache for a while, so I'll leave the aspirin. He should take it easy for a few days, and then he'll be back to normal. Andrew if you start seeing double or fuzzy, let us know right away."

"We'll keep an eye out. You should get back home before roll call." Hogan walked Anderson over to the tunnel entrance as he heard his men laughing with relief in the air. They'd all been worried about the youngest man in their ranks. Studying the ladder as the hole closed up hiding their entrance, he really did need to work on that elevator idea.

A few moments later, Schultz came barging in yelling roll call.

"Carter you're awake! I'm so glad you're better. You are feeling better, aren't you?"

"Yes, Schultz, I am."

"Good, then you can come out to roll call. Everybody out, roll call. Raus. Raus." Schultz herded them out the door, pleased Carter was joining them.

After roll call a game of cards was started with Schultz playing along, so they had lights privileges. Hogan leaned back on the bunk post watching the interaction of his men, each one relieved that Carter was back with them. They were a great bunch of men, and he felt honored being their leader.

"Listen fellows, it's late and I'm going to turn in. If you need me, you know where to find me," Hogan said, stretching and yawning with everyone in the room telling him good night. As Kinch made eye contact with him, Hogan added, "Kinch, that letter can wait until morning. I'm not up to writing it tonight."

Kinch nodded his head in agreement; he wouldn't radio London with an update on Carter until the Colonel was ready.

"What letter?" Schultz asked, a little too interested.

"The letter that goes with the Red Cross request each month," Kinch answered.

"Oh," was all Schultz said as he won his hand, instantly forgetting all about the letter.

"The Colonel seems tired recently," LeBeau said.

"The war's wearing on him. I think he needs a break," Newkirk offered.

"But he's a prisoner, how can the war be wearing on him?" Schultz asked.

"You're right, Schultzie, I think the Colonel has had a long day and that's why he's tired." Kinch stated, giving the others a look to drop the line of conversation. Schultz might look the other way mostly, but he wasn't going to give him any real information.

Hogan changed into his pajamas, turned his light off, and lay down on the upper bunk. It had been a difficult day; despite his nap he was exhausted. Taking out a picture from under the mattress he smiled at his beautiful Tiger. It was a causal photo of her down in the tunnels that one of his men had snapped. No one could tell where the picture had been taken if they didn't know. He fingered the curve of her face and could still feel the touch of her lips to his. The smell of her perfume lingered in the air when he closed his eyes. Tiger could always lift his mood. It had been too long since he'd seen her and knowing she was in Paris right now deepen his longing for her. Hogan put her picture back in its safe hiding place and closed his eyes, hoping to dream of Tiger.

Dreams came, but not of the lovely Tiger, and not dreams either...more nightmares. Twisting and turning images of men under his command into unrecognizable horrors over and over again. Horror images of the war that he'd protected his men from but would never forget. The images swirling and shifting making him dizzy until finally settling on one frequent memory... his flight crew.

Before he was shot down Hogan flew a B-17 bomber with a ten man crew. They were an old well seasoned crew for the most part. Nine men that were his responsibility to get home safely; ten families he let down including his own. When he got out of this war, he had families that were owed a personal visit. Not something he looked forward to, but it was his responsibility as their commanding officer.

That fateful night when it all went to hell played over and over in his dream. A dozen Messerschmitts came out of nowhere targeting the bomber group he was in. They were too far into Germany for the British fighters to protect them. Their gunners were able to take a few of them out but his plane took damage. Hogan and Godwin were making the plane dance when all the sudden she became hard to manage. Hogan looked over at his co-pilot and Major Dustin Godwin was laying dead over his controls. Dusty was a family man; he had a brood full of children and a wife of 18 years. They'd known each other for at least 10 years and that was going to be the hardest family visit of all.

Before he got the plane under control they took on more strafing and SFC Carlos Santos, his head gunner was lost. The plane started to take a dive when the outer most left engine went dead; as he was getting it under control; he lost both right side engines and two more gunners, Sergeant Stephen Davis and Sergeant Rick Candies. Both were married with kids, Davis had two girls and Candies had three boys. Five more kids Hogan let down that day.

Hogan ordered everyone to bailout this plane was going down before they dropped their payload. The one gunner left, Corporal Mike Hammer, was trying to give them some cover; he was mortally wounded and would never make it out the plane. Hammer was a confirmed bachelor like Hogan.

Hogan was the last one out and looking at the sky only three other parachutes had made it. He watched his men silently falling to the ground. That was the last he ever saw of his bombardier, Sergeant Jeff Wrights. Was he hit by strafing, killed on the ground, or was he in another POW camp somewhere?

Then there was Lieutenant Mac Easton, his flight engineer, who landed close to Hogan's landing zone. By the time Hogan got to Mac, he was in bad shape. Hogan held him in his arms while death's long arms pulled him away, leaving a pregnant wife behind. That would be one of the more difficult families to face for Hogan, because it reminded him of losing his best friend Michaels.

His radio operator, Corporal Mark Brennan, never made it off the plane. Mark was new to the team and Hogan didn't know his life story yet.

The one success story, the one family that wouldn't be hard to face, was that of his navigator, Sergeant Jonathan Edwards. Hogan proudly sent him back home; he was one of the first sent to London on the now-well-oiled pathway. Edwards had two kids the last he'd heard; by now he was pretty sure it was three.

His own family would be hardest of all to face. He felt like he betrayed them and put them under too much stress and worry when he took this command. They didn't know anymore than he was a POW. What did they imagine his life was like? Stories of how hard prison life was and torture by the Gestapo circulated in the states. He knew his mother would worry and think the worst until she could see him in person. At least when he was stationed in London, he could call her every so often to let her know he was safe.

Hogan had the option of going home when he got here, now practically any time he could go if he wanted. But this command was doing so much important work and making a real difference in the war effort, more than he could make as a bomber pilot. He came from a military family they would understand to a point, but would his mother ever? He would make it up to her after the war, if he made it home. Or would he die like so many of his men? Their mangled bodies flashed through his mind over and over.

Hogan sat up in a cold sweat, nightmares again. He wiped the perspiration from his face and walked around his small room taking deep breaths. Sometimes he wondered how his men handled their nightmares; everyone in this place had to have them from time to time. Then he knew he could hear two talking softly outside. The men in Barracks 2 were asleep with a couple of exceptions.

"Carter, do you know how worried you 'ad the Colonel?" Newkirk asked.

"I didn't mean to. I only wanted to catch us a rabbit to eat."

"I know that. I wasn't scared at all, you dumb bloke. There is something I don't understand."

"What's that?"

"All day, you kept askin' for me. You never wanted me to leave your side."

"You'll think it's stupid." Carter looked embarrassed.

"No, I won't. What is it, Andrew?"

"I kept dreaming all day."

"What did you dream about?"

"You."

"What in the bloody hell did you dream about me?"

"You know I said I saw a huge white rabbit?"

"Yeah."

"Well I kept seeing you as the white rabbit in Alice in the Wonderland story."

"You're out of your mind."

"I told you you'd laugh."

"I'm not laughing, Andrew; you're bloody nuts."

"The Gestapo was chasing you in and out of the rabbit holes."

"Andrew, those bleeding Krauts are never gonna get me."

"Then sometimes I saw you as Peter Rabbit. And Klink was chasing you around the cabbage patch with a pitch fork."

"Carter, you were bloody out of your mind nuts. That blow to your head really scrambled your brains."

"No, I worry about my friends."

"Get some sleep, Carter. That noggin of yours needs it."

"I told you you'd laugh at me."

"Go to sleep, Carter."

"Night, Peter."

After a long, silent pause Newkirk answered him. "You had me scared to death all day, Andrew. I don't like seeing my friends hurt either."

After morning roll call the men of Barracks 2 were eating breakfast around the common table.

"How'd you sleep last night Colonel?" Kinch asked.

"Okay, I guess. How about you?"

"Decent for here."

"Heard you up a couple of times last night gov'nor."

"Oui, mon Colonel, everything all right?"

"What's this concern for my sleeping habits all the sudden?"

"You've looked tired recently, sir," Kinch answered.

"I've been thinking I need to have a talk with Klink about that."

"How so?" Carter asked.

"Do you know how many times a week we go up and down that ladder?" Everyone shook their heads no. "Well I think it's about time we get an elevator, and Klink should provide it. I've already dropped some hints about it."

"An elevator?" Kinch sighed. "Sir, are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Why? Do you think I should talk Klink into going to Paris for a few days or something?"

"Oui, Colonel. I can have us packed in five minutes."

"Is that what you all think?" Hogan asked, looking around at his men. Each man agreed with LeBeau that the Colonel needed a break.

"Don't worry, I have a plan." Hogan smiled. Sometimes keeping his men guessing was fun. "I better get over to Klink's if we're going to get that elevator. Kinch, let London know that Carter's fine and we don't need that transport."

"Yes, sir, I'll take care of it."

His men watched him walk across the compound, all agreeing they had to get him a break. Maybe they needed that transport for the Colonel to get a little leave time.

Whistling to himself, Hogan strolled across the compound to talk Klink into a week in Paris. Yep, his men were right he needed a leave and to see Tiger. Tiger always makes everything better.

Finish