Title: You Live and Learn.

Rating: PG

Pairing: Implied Jack/Ianto

Summary: Ianto tries to come to terms with the events of being captured by a village full of cannibals.

Spoilers: Set immediately after the events of 'Countrycide'. Mentions of Lisa / 'Cyberwoman'.

A/N: Wrote this a while back and have been mulling over whether to post it for a while now. Decided to go for it and see what people think.

The drive home was in silence, there was a lot to talk about, but for now the words hung in the air amongst them like a suffocating presence. It would take a while to sift through thoughts and feelings of what had gone on. Owen sat staring out of the front window, eyes shifting every so often to nothing in particular, no snide remarks to break the tension. Glancing into the rear view mirror Jack took in the occupants of the back seat. Ianto stared listlessly out of the window, eyes focused on one point in the far off distance. Toshiko had slipped a hand comfortingly into his, and their entwined fingers rested lightly on his knee as she'd given in to the exhaustion and rested her head on his shoulder. He couldn't get a close look at Gwen, not from the angle of the mirror. She sat with an arm slung protectively around her waist, trying to ignore the dull aching pain in her side, head back, eyes closed, concentrating on the rhythm of the car as they drove, trying not to think.

Once back at the hub, the tension was already lifting as if it offered them the safe sanctuary they'd all been seeking. Owen bundled Gwen and Ianto straight off to give them a once over, back in full doctor mode. Jack hung back with Toshiko, giving her a careful gaze. A few bruises had appeared on the skin of her neck, as she tried to meet his eyes with her own without letting her guard fall completely. He placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to ignore the tension which appeared for a moment as he did so.

"You should get some rest." He told her, as she blinked tiredly.

She nodded in agreement and sighed, eyes drifting to the medical quarter where Owen had rushed his patients into. Jack slid a hand gently under her chin, brought her eyes back to meet his.

"Hey, we're all safe now. Everyone is going to be fine." He told her firmly, reassuringly. "Go home, get some rest. And if you need to talk, call me."

She gave him a weak, watery smile and nodded, closing her eyes a moment before drawing in a breath and moving off to fetch her belongings from her desk before heading off for home. Jack walked over to the medical area, standing on the landing overview to watch Owen at work. Gwen was half prone on the table as he checked out her wound and re-applied fresh bandages. Ianto sat at the bottom of one of the stairwells, leaning against the wall, still listless and in some obvious pain himself.

"Take one of these every three hours, it'll help with the pain." Owen was saying, before handing her a tube of ointment. "And seeing as you'll probably be taking a shower, coat some of this onto the wound afterwards and put fresh wrappings onto it."

He stepped back with a half smile and helped Gwen off the table, their hands lingering together for a little longer than necessary before Gwen bundled together everything she'd been handed.

"Thanks." She mumbled, before heading off up the stairs.

"Right next patient." Owen said, turning to Ianto as Gwen came to stand by Jack who looked at her with concern.

"You going to be okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, I'll be great." Gwen said with a nod. "Owen's given me some stuff to put on it, I'll manage to fob Rhys off with some story or other about it."

"Holy shit Ianto, what the fuck did they do to you?" Owen's exclamation interrupted any more of their conversation and they both looked down at him and Ianto.

Jack heard Gwen take in a quick intake of breath as they looked at Ianto, a mass of bruises forming all over his upper torso. She turned quickly to go back down into the bay, clutching at her side when she swung round too fast. Jack caught her by the arm to stop her going further.

"Gwen, go home. You need rest, Owen and I can help Ianto." He said quietly but firm.

She glanced back down at the bay, before looking at Jack and nodding her head, moving off into the main of the hub to fetch her belongings and go. Jack moved down the stairs, to better hear Owen and Ianto's conversation.

"Said they liked to tenderize the meat." Ianto said slowly before grimacing with a mutter as Owen prodded a little too hard at a bruise on his side. "Knocked me out, when I came too, there were more of them there. Covered my head, started hitting me," He winced again, shooting Owen a harsh look.

"What did they hit you with?" Owen said, muttering to himself in disgust at such treatment and measuring out something into a syringe.

"Piece of wood of some kind, I think." Ianto replied in a low tone. "Think I blacked out again, when I came too they'd left me lying on the floor and not long after they brought you all back there."

"Well, it's gonna take a while for these to heal up, but far as I can tell no broken bones. You've been lucky," Owen said, injecting the syringe into Ianto's arm.

"Very lucky." Jack mused, having moved to the side of the bed.

Owen and Ianto glanced over at him before Owen picked up a tube of ointment and handed it to Ianto.

"You've a few cuts, nothing major, I prescribe a hot bath, rub some of that into them. I'll give you some painkillers, like Gwen, take one every three hours if you need to." Owen said gently, pulling off a glove and tossing it into a waste basket nearby, at the same time picking up a tub of tablets and handing them to Ianto. "Not much else I can do for you mate, except warn you on the dangers of camping. I'm sure I shall never be trying it again."

He pulled off the other glove, tossed it into the general direction of the other and looked at Jack. "I know it's probably a waste of breath asking, but anything you need looking over or can I get out of here. I'm knackered after today."

"No, I'm good." Jack said with a nod, "Get yourself home."

"Good night all." Owen said to both of them, turning and making his way up the stairs as Ianto pulled his t-shirt back on, wincing a little as he did so. Jack caught the hem of it and helped him out, not missing the small grimace Ianto gave when his fingers brushed down the younger mans skin as he pulled it down.

"Thanks." Ianto mumbled before getting off the bed and picking up his sweater. "Guess I'll be off too."

"You going to be okay?" Jack asked as he moved to the bottom of the stairwell slow and careful.

"Fine." Ianto replied, as Jack moved over to him, hovering on the other side of the banister, looking up at him.

"You sure, it's been a hell of a day out in the field." Jack said, trying to keep his tone light and friendly.

"Yeah it has, but I'd rather not dwell on it right now." Ianto said, ignoring the closeness of Jack's fingers near his on the cold metal.

"Well, if you want to talk. Never good to keep things buried..." He trailed off and Ianto sucked in a breath, fighting the urge to bite back at the remark.

He'd managed to keep his job, after what had happened with Lisa and he was paying for it, accepting the looks and accusations and awkwardness of the others. But he didn't need it thrown in his face twenty four seven. And he didn't think the current situation warranted such warnings being given. He kept quiet, started up the stairs, before Jack caught his hand at the wrist gently.

"Ianto, I wasn't implying anything by it." He started, Ianto shot him an unreadable look and pulled his hand away like it had been burned.

"It's been a long couple of days Sir," He said, moving up the stairs again. He was too exhausted to get into the complications between them.

They had always walked a fine line of flirtation, since the moment they'd met there had been a certain attraction, but the ever presence of Lisa weighing on his mind meant he'd kept his distance and successfully managed to keep Jack at arms length. But on that day, when the nightmare of Canary Wharf had echoed so vividly within the confines of the hub, when they'd exchanged harsh promises and dirty truths, and his hands had been drowned in warm blood, something had changed between them.

They'd shifted back into themselves, like Lisa had never happened but had all at the same time. It seemed as if they had moved on, but it was more like denial, bury it deep, sweep it aside. Until moments arose when everything revolved around it, awkward moments when in the quest for some team bonding, the subject inevitably arose and he had to look into eyes and hope understanding could be gained.

Jack had followed him up the stairs, he didn't move quickly, every bone, every muscle, every piece of him was surrounded by dull aches rather than searing pain. He tried not to wrap himself up in his own arms, but the feeling of holding himself gave some minimal comfort. A hand rested lightly at the base of his spine, steering him as he walked past the workstations.

"Let me take you home." Jack said quietly behind him, Ianto would have protested, but the thought of concentrating on roads, steering a car, it drained him to even consider it. With everyone gone, he had no choice but to accept the offer with a nod.

"My car keys are in the office." He said and they made their way up to it. He retrieved the keys from the hook in the back of the tourist office and flicked some buttons to set alarms and locks seeing as Jack was leaving as well.

Jack hovered outside waiting, breathing in salty air and watching people rushing home from their places of work, coats pulled tightly around themselves as a cold breeze descended around them. Ianto appeared behind him, locking the office door and blinking as a gust of wind blew around them suddenly before settling again. He tossed Jack the keys and they made their way to the car. He was a little surprised when Jack opened the door for him, made sure he was settled in the passenger seat before closing the door firmly. Reaching round slowly Ianto pulled the seatbelt round him, wincing as the black material dug against his bruised torso. He pulled at the belt and slacked it around him, not able to endure it pressing against him. Jack slid into the drivers seat and looked at him concerned as he leaned his head back against the head rest looking pale.

"You okay?" He asked quietly, resisting the urge to reach over and brush his fingers over Ianto's furrowed brow.

Ianto breathed in slowly. "Just be careful how you drive please Sir." He said quietly, not opening his eyes.

Jack gave a nod, although Ianto didn't see it and started the car up, making a mental note to keep to the speed limits, do as little overtaking as possible and hoped no maniacs were driving in his general direction. Pulling out of the car park, it wasn't until he was on a long straight that he realised he had no idea where he was driving. He'd never been to Ianto's, he knew addresses but there'd been little socializing at each others homes within the group. They tended to frequent pubs every now and then and considered it enough for team bonding.

"Sorry to interrupt your napping but care to point me in the general direction of home?" Jack asked him, foot pressing onto the brake as he silently cursed the car in front of him as it braked suddenly.

Ianto's eyes opened and he tried not to hiss as the belt dug into his side as the car slowed down a little jerkily. He looked at the car ahead, surmising that it was their fault rather than Jack's, before taking in where they were.

"Stay on this road until the next roundabout, take the second exit." He said slowly, lying his head back again and turning his head to stare out of the window.

He tried to not let images of what had happened the last few days to enter his mind, but it was hard to focus on other things. The sickened feeling which had entered his stomach upon seeing cut up limbs and dripping blood in a fridge freezer had not shifted, nor the voices in his head when they'd surrounded him, making claims about which limb they'd prefer as they rained blows down onto him Closing his eyes didn't help push them away, it merely helped them consume him, remembering the darkness he'd been plunged into before the attack had began.

"Ianto?"

Jack's voice broke into his thoughts and taking a moment to take in their location, he turned his head to look at Jack who was looking at him with a questioning gaze. "You zoned out on me." Jack pointed out, "Where to now?"

"Take the next left." Ianto replied hoarsely, his throat feeling dry.

He looked out of the front window blinking, anything to clear his mind, watching the road, ready to point out the next directions to Jack. He was aware of the glances Jack kept giving him, wasn't sure how to read them. Of course he was allowed to be concerned, they'd all been through hell, but being alone, just the two of them, it seemed to be all the more intimate and it un-nerved him a little to think of anything between them as being intimate.

His mind reeled back to thoughts he'd had that day, of the fear that had shrouded itself around him. When he'd bought them a moment and Tosh had gotten away before he'd been swathed in black and thoroughly beaten with promises that death would be inevitable, but no promises of it being quickly dealt out to him. His thoughts rewound to the last time death had been so readily promised, the cold feel of metal pricking into the edge of his temple and a voice informing him of his options.

"Follow the road round past the petrol station, then take a right." He said without looking at Jack, "Then take the second right and we'll be on my street, number eighty two."

He chanced a brief glimpse at Jack, taking in the man next to him, the measured gaze as Jack watched the road, mouth slightly pursed as if he was lost in thoughts himself. Jack's gaze shifted as he looked over to him, eyes locking with his for a brief moment, a smile breaking at the corners of his mouth before Ianto quickly looked away.

Ianto had decided long ago that Jack Harkness was impossible to read and truly understand. The more you learned of him, the more you felt baffled by him. It hadn't been long since he'd called Jack a monster and deep down had still considered him to be one, until, that is, he'd fell prey to a village of cannibals fighting over which of his limbs they got to feast on. Jack had burst in all bravado and enthusiasm, as was his usual way and made sure they understood in no uncertain terms they'd messed with the wrong man and his team. But then Jack was made up of layers, mountains of them which interlinked and lapped over each other and made it impossible to know just a few sides of him.

He watched as they pulled into his street, pulling up outside his flat before he had a chance to point out which door was his. They parked up and Jack was opening his door just as he was slowly gathering himself together as the belt slid back into it's place. A helping hand helped him out of the car, escorting him to the door, hand back to lingering at the small of his back. Jack held out the keys to him and he took them, picking out his door key and sliding it into the lock.

"Have you got the meds Owen gave you? Ointment, tablets?" Jack asked him as he turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open.

"Yeah," Ianto replied, holding up his other hand where he held them. Jack hovered at the door, his hand dropping as he turned to look down the street. Ianto felt compelled to invite him in, after he'd been kind enough to drive him home.

"Care for a night cap Sir?" He was a little surprised at himself for presenting an invitation to come inside in such a manner, but hid it by stepping inside and flicking on the up-lights of the stairs. He turned and looked to Jack who was looking at him with a questioning air, as if he was weighing up his options. "At least let me call you a taxi, it's quite a walk back to the hub." Ianto offered throughout the pause.

He wasn't sure if that helped make up Jack's mind, but the other man stepped through the door and headed up the stairs ahead of him into his flat as Ianto closed the door behind him. He took the stairs a little slower, finding Jack watching him with concern as he nodded towards a door ahead of him.

"Straight through there." He offered following Jack into the small living room, kitchen combined. "Help yourself to a drink, just switch on the percolator if you fancy a coffee or there's a collection of alcohol in the cupboard."

Ianto pointed to a small cupboard under a bookcase he had in the room as he spoke. "If you'll excuse me a few minutes, I think I'll get changed."

Jack looked at him, gave a nod of his head and Ianto left him to go into his bedroom, slinging his coat onto the chair before turning and taking a quick breath as he caught sight of himself in the mirror on his wall. Bruises were appearing on his arms, a colorful array disappearing beneath the edges of the short sleeves and neckline.

Searching out a change of clothes from drawers, he placed them on the dresser and proceeded to undress, carefully peeling off his t-shirt which proved difficult as he eased his arms out of the strict confines. He looked in the mirror again, trying not to flinch at the sight of his own reflection, torso covered in bruises and slight cuts. Memories cut in on him again, distant echoes of voices, each bruise a memory of dull objects pounding against him, his own voice intermingled with them as he remembered his cries out against the pain and the fear. His legs became shaky and he sat on the edge of the bed, closing his eyes, sucking in deep breaths, hands gripping onto his knees as he tried not to think so much.

He didn't know how long he sat there, until he became aware of a hand sliding along his shoulder and he jerked his head up to see Jack looking down on him with a strange look in his eyes. Understanding, comforting, caring, emotions that had been void to him for a seemingly long time now that he had a chance to think about it. In recent months he'd been invisible, since events with Lisa there'd been hints of mistrust, anger, pity even, an uneasiness between them all.

This was wrong, all wrong, because he and Jack shouldn't be this close, this intimate. Shouldn't be able to cast aside everything that had gone on for this, what ever this was. But he felt himself relaxing into the touch, as if it chased away the shadows currently haunting him. Jack sat down beside him, reaching out for something behind them, Ianto didn't move, barely breathed, mind trying and failing to figure things out. He looked down when Jack's hand moved against him again, ointment cold against his skin as he gently applied it to bruises and cuts on his chest and torso.

"I thought I was going to die out there." Ianto found himself saying. "All I could think was they were going to kill me. Eaten by fucking cannibals." His voice was low, barely a whisper, but Jack was leaning close, tending to him and heard every word.

Jack brushed his hand up to his chin, tilting up his face so they could look at each other. "You did good and you got out of there, we all did, that's what matters."

"Things may have turned out differently if you hadn't of shown up." Ianto replied, eyes brimmed with tears, everything was happening out of context, feelings confusing, alarming. It felt right, Jack so close, looking after him, but it felt wrong to have it feel so right and good.

Jack averted his eyes back to his ministrations, fingers rubbing whatever it had been Owen had handed over onto a cut and nasty bruise on his chest. "But they didn't did they, you're safe now."

Ianto lifted his hand and stilled Jack's, not pushing him away, but not allowing him to continue. Jack looked at him again, and Ianto was unable to read him easily this time. "You don't have to do this Sir." He informed him, another look passed through Jack's eyes.

"I know I don't." Jack informed him, moving his fingers and spreading them out over Ianto's chest under his hand. "But I want to."

"Why?" Was all Ianto could think to say, because he truly couldn't understand. Perhaps it was the tiredness, after the last few days he felt he could sleep for days, but was also afraid sleep wouldn't come easily without being filled with nightmares. He'd had enough of nightmares, the form of Lisa looming over him night after night asking him the same question. 'Why Ianto, Why?' like a mantra he couldn't answer, until he awoke to an empty room and empty heart. Would his nightmares now be filled with dark shadows and heavy blows reigning down about his body?

"Because I think we never did get off on the right foot. Maybe it's time we put that right. One thing I've learned Ianto, it's that life's too short to carry grudges, we learn from our mistakes, no matter how devastating they can be and we move on." Jack told him, eyes locked on his, speaking quiet and evenly, so close Ianto could feel his breath intermingling with his own. "Right now, I'm going to take care of you-"

"Then what?" Ianto wanted to know where this was all going.

"Then I guess we'll see." Jack replied, his hand free once more of Ianto's he finished rubbing in ointment and drew his hand away. He used his other hand to brush over Ianto's face, watching eyes close at the touch, the furrowed lines of Ianto's brow evening out for a few precious seconds. "You're tired, why don't you lie down and I'll put some of this stuff on your back?"

Ianto opened his eyes slowly, gave a nod, but before he could pull away Jack's fingers tightened a little around his jaw and Jack leaned in, lips connecting with his, for a moment neither of them moved. The kiss was gentle, unassuming, as Ianto leaned in himself, lips parting only slightly, as fingers slid into his hair before Jack pulled back and leaned up placing another kiss on his forehead before he stood up.

"Get yourself comfortable, I'll get you something to wash those tablets down, best to take some before you go to sleep."

Ianto watched him leave the room, running his tongue along his lower lip as he stood himself, setting the bottle of ointment onto the side table by the bed and pulled the bedsheets back slowly. He paid a visit to the bathroom before returning to bed, carefully removing his jeans with wincing slowness before easing himself onto the mattress. Turning onto his stomach, which proved to be too uncomfortable, he managed to find a comfortable position half lying on his side. The sheets cooled his skin and he closed his eyes, exhaustion suddenly rippling through his body as he relaxed. He hoped the exhaustion would send him into a deep sleep, one which would be undisturbed by dark shadows and threatening voices.

The bed dipped by him and he opened his eyes to look behind him over his shoulder, Jack leaned over presenting him with a glass of water and a couple of pills. "Take these now, then you can fall asleep for as long as you like." He directed.

Ianto took the pills from him first, then the glass and drank them down, the cool water soothing his dry throat. He handed the glass back and dropped his head wearily against the pillow again as Jack took to applying ointment to his back.

He zoned out with the feeling of warm hands rubbing over his back, over his shoulder blades where mere hours before dull objects had pounded into them. Jack's movements were soothing, graceful and relaxing, and he found himself drifting into sleep as he felt the touch leave him. He stirred as Jack stood up, about to walk round the bed.

"Thanks Jack," he mumbled sleepily thinking he was leaving and about to say goodbye. Jack leaned over him and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"Shh, go to sleep, I'll be back in a minute. Just going to turn off the lights." Jack whispered to him soothingly before walking away.

Ianto tried to stay awake until Jack returned, but his eyes wouldn't stay open and though he was vaguely aware of the bed dipping once more, this time on his opposite side, in the empty space of his double bed he didn't open his eyes instead drifting into a fitful sleep.

A few hours later he stirred, a low voice breaking into his subconscious and his body aching in it's position and from it's treatment the last few days. Opening his eyes he squinted into the darkness, taking in a breath as he became more aware of his surroundings. With a groan he rolled onto his back, body reacting with aching pains shooting up his side. A hand came to rest on his arm stilling him as Jack looked down at him.

"Careful." He said, Ianto could make out his features half lit up by his mobile he had held it to his ear as he spoke into it. "No, it's fine Tosh, you don't need to go, I'm rather good at multi tasking."

He gave a smile at whatever was Tosh's retort and eyes glinted in the blue tinge of light coming from the phone as they looked down at Ianto who shifted onto his back and sighed.

"He'll be fine Toshiko, you all will. It'll just take a few days. You sure you're okay? You don't want me to come over?"

Another pause, before he nodded and cracked a smile.

"Okay, just call if you change your mind, or if you need to talk again. Try and get some sleep okay, and don't feel you need to rush in on the morning. - Yeah, I know, keep the mind occupied, but you need your rest. Okay Toshiko, sweet dreams – bye."

"Is she okay?" Ianto asked before Jack could say anything. His mobile no longer in use, darkness shadowed his face.

"Yeah she just needed to talk." Jack replied, running a hand idly over Ianto's chest in soothing circles. "How are you?"

"I ache- all over." Ianto grumbled before shivering. "And I'm a little cold."

"You want a couple more pills, Owen did say every three or so hours." Jack asked with concern.

"Yeah, maybe." Ianto replied sleepily, unwilling to move, eyes already flickering closed again. He felt the duvet cover being pulled up over him, lying gently over his skin and was aware Jack's hand still brushing over his chest. He was asleep before Jack had a chance to give me more medication, but this time his sleep was intermingled with moments of voices, threatening shadows in weird forms, they closed in on him with vicious intent and Lisa stood amidst them still questioning and pleading for help. The shadows overwhelmed her, and she was gone, and he was left alone to fend for himself as a shadowed man with menacing smile loomed over him, arm raised before bringing down a blunt object which impacted on his chest.

He awoke with a jolt, eyes flashing open and attacked by early morning light which caused him to squint. The sudden waking caused him to groan as his body protested the sudden movement and a hand came to rest on his shoulder to ease him as he drew in shallow breaths.

"It's okay Ianto, you're okay." Jack's voice drifted over him as he took stock of what had happened, an empty room with no shadows attacking him. Just Jack bringing him back to reality with a steady hand and soothing tone. "Just a dream, sshh-" fingers brushed over his forehead, chasing away the tension and he blinked turning his head to focus on Jack beside him.

"Not dreams, nightmares, always nightmares." He found himself correcting him with a mumbled tone.

"S'ok you're awake now." Jack spoke gentle, low, fingers stroking down his temple and cheek.

"I can never save her, not in my dreams." Ianto didn't know why he was saying it, like a confessional to a priest, things he'd not dare to say another time or place. "Maybe I always knew I couldn't, maybe this is my penance, have her haunting me, forever, asking me why. Should I have left her to die Jack, left her to suffer her fate?"

"Stop Ianto," Jack's fingers stilled on his face, eyes boring into his. "You have to let it go, you can't keep thinking like this. She'll haunt you for as long as you think that. What's done is done, let it go. Let her go."

Ianto raised his hand, resting it over Jack's where it lay warm against his cheek, thumb brushing back and forth with a whispering pace near his mouth.

"Perhaps I deserved to die there." He said unable to stop the words, Jack's fingers tightened beneath his, body taut, eyes flashing as he shook his head.

"Don't say that, don't dare think that." Jack retorted, voice low but perceptibly harsh as if giving an order he dared anyone to defy. "You've suffered enough without assuming such things for yourself. You have to live with what happened, that's just life. But you still have a lot to learn Ianto Jones, and a lot to give."

Ianto closed his eyes, because he wanted to believe the words, wanted to believe that perhaps he was still needed in the grand scheme of things but knew he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Something held him back, a wall which he'd built up around himself, a protection which he'd not allow anyone to penetrate. The fingers brushing over his cheek and into his hair wouldn't break it down, he didn't even know if they wanted to. At the moment they could offer some minimal comfort, but where did Jack honestly think it would lead? Because although Jack Harkness was layered in complexity, there was a look in his eyes which mirrored his own. He'd lost someone, and it hurt, in a way where the pain didn't dull or ache, just hung round you like a noose at your neck. And no matter how hard you strove to ignore it, and replaced the person with another, it was impossible to forget and move on.

Perhaps they could find comfort in each other, the kind of comfort which they knew wasn't real but was better than nothing. Was that what Jack was offering him? It wasn't hope, or a renewed sense of being needed and belonging. It was because no matter which century you came from, or what your crime, sometimes people just needed another person to cling to for a while. And in grief and loss it was easy to find similar souls in equally sorrowful situations.

He found Jack's fingers again, from where they'd left his to wander into his hairline and gently caress soothing circles at his temples, and opened his eyes. Jack's hadn't left him, the careful watchman keeping focus on what he was there to protect. Perhaps they could find some level footing after what had gone on between them and Ianto smiled at the touch of a thumb brushing over his temple where Jack had previously held the muzzle of cold steel.

Jack leaned down over him, and Ianto thought he was going to kiss him again, but instead he whispered quietly. "You should get some more sleep. You want those meds now?"

Ianto nodded, finding his mouth felt dry and parched again. Jack pulled away to fetch tablets and a fresh glass of water. Ianto stared into the dim light of the room, mind wandering over random moments, the days events, Jack being here with him, small flashes of times within the hub. Trust one of the times he actually got more involved with the team, that they fell upon a small tribe of cannibals living in the welsh countryside and he nearly became the main meal. He thought he ought to laugh about it, but instead shuddered intensely at the thought, his body seemingly aching even more painfully at the recollection.

He focused on listening to Jack move about, as he settled onto the bed again, and roused himself to raise up a little to dutifully take his medication and soothe his dry throat in the process. He dropped his head back to the pillow with a sigh, wondering when life had thrown him the curve ball and sent his world spiralling. Perhaps it all came down to Torchwood, not that his life had been a success story before that, but since joining Torchwood, he'd been through a hell of a lot. But if he hadn't have joined Torchwood, he'd have never met Lisa or Jack. He frowned on that thought, why should Jack Harkness enter the equation? Lisa certainly, he couldn't imagine his life without her, no matter what her end and how short their time had been together. But Jack? If things had gone differently with Lisa, if she'd died at Canary Wharf, he'd not have come to Cardiff in search of the lifeline to help her. He'd never have met Jack. He couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

He closed his eyes, letting the meds do their work and falling into a light sleep again, feeling the bed dip as Jack lay down beside him once more. He could muse on such questions for an eternity, it didn't matter, because he couldn't change how things had turned out, only live with the consequences. Perhaps in the light of day he'd be able to think things over more clearly, for the now he took comfort in having someone near.

For the now he didn't have to be alone anymore.

/