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PROLOGUE

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College life.

It's a time in a young person's life when they get to leave the nest and live away from home and parents. A place and time where they still have a list of rules that they will follow (sometimes), but gets to experience a new sense of freedom like never before. There were young adults that found the experience scary, some that found it to be a welcome mat to paradise, and then there were some that found it to be some sort of middle ground.

This is where James Wilson stood. He was sad to be leaving home, his family and his well-structured life but was excited to experience what it was like to be on his own, to run into his own problems and fix them on his own as well. This would be fine for some people, annoying to others being that they had more dreadful school to face... but James was different. He was an A student, an avid scholar with a unique love for school. This alone would play heavily in his favor. Wanting to get his undergraduates degree as quickly as possible, James also took courses over the summer with the holidays playing in as a poor substitute.

His years at McGill went by so quickly when thinking back the memory was almost a blur. To James, with all his hard work and studying they were a breeze. Sure, like some students, he stressed when exams came along and would sometimes question his knowledge on whichever subject he was going to be tested on, but all his worry would be for naught when those bright and shining grades would show themselves on his papers.

Graduation was as much a sweet victory as it's always been but even more so this time around. To James holding a college diploma gave such a rush that he almost couldn't imagine how it would feel to hold his medical degree with the title M.D. following his name. The thought was dizzying and he couldn't wait.

But even though James loved school and with his thirst for knowledge still running as strong as ever, this would be the first summer he would welcome with open arms since he started college. Time off meant he could spend time with his family and relax like he had wanted to do for years. He hadn't gotten a consecutive three months off since he graduated high school. But he knew that sometimes you had to sacrifice things in order to achieve your dreams.

But his first day home James quickly learned that happenings at home weren't as pleasant as they had first appeared. His parent, Jack and Hazel, greeted their son with the same excitement as they always had and his younger brother, Michael, made sure to greet his favorite brother with the same boisterous playfulness that always left James glad to be home and close to his family once again. It felt like the first time in ages that he and Michael could play around and be boys during the summer break. As funny as it sounded, he and Michael had a lot of catching up to do.

But when James asked about his older brother, David, he immediately sensed that something was amiss. With the strength of any father, Jack tried to gently break it to him the events that he had been missing while off in college. He learned that somewhere along the way David had gotten hooked on meth and had dropped out of school without telling anyone. James felt hurt that his family would keep something like this from him but also understood how they didn't want him to worry about things at home when he was working to hard in school.

But what seemed to make things even worse was that no one knew where to find David. The sudden black sheep of the family managed to hide himself away until he needed money for food or more likely his new habit. The though of his older brother living god knows were dealing with meth scared James like never before. He wondered how he acted and how he looked. He was also afraid to think about how much his best friend had now changed.

The first month or so of his vacation time went well enough. James was just happy to sit back and soak everything in. Being home made him realize how much he missed his family while he was on his crazy college binge. He had put much thought into what he was going to do from now on, being that he was going to med school and opted to take his summers and hold onto them the best he could. You don't realize how much things change until you've been gone for a while.

But even the best of times tend to go sour from time to time and it was in his second month of vacationing when that fact would make itself evident. The day started out as a calm one as James laid stretched out in his bed as he searched for something good to watch on TV, but things were quickly put on hold when the sounds of arguing reached his ears from the downstairs. He quickly lowered the volume of the TV and listened. Though he couldn't make out what was being said it only took a second for him to recognize both voices. It was his father and uncle and they were fighting.

By this point the arguing had gotten so bad that it sounded like each of them was out for blood. He was surprised. Sure his father and uncle would fight about silly things like any brothers do, but never in all his time had he ever heard them fight like this. What in the world could make them so heated toward each other? James quickly decided that it was in his best interest to keep out of sight until things cooled off, otherwise he would just be asking to be dragged in.

With the TV off and his bedroom silent, James hung onto every noise and sound he could make out and those he couldn't. Not expecting the loud clash, he flinched when he heard the front door slam shut. Things were suddenly silent. He strained his ears to pick anything else and wondered if the fight had been taken outside. Now it was time to investigate.

Quickly and quietly he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen with the stealth that would make even James Bond proud. Silently he slipped out the back door and stepped softly around the house. He didn't hear any shouting or fighting going on in the front yard and when he peeked around to corner saw none either.

In fact he didn't see anyone.

Surely someone had gone outside. Why else would the front door be slammed? Clearly his Uncle Thomas was still around being that his car was still sitting parked in the driveway. But where? Curiously, James made his way to the car and took a glance inside. It was then he noticed his Uncle nearly a block down the road walking. He should have known. Thomas always liked to go for a walk when he was upset. He always said it was the best way to cool himself down.

"Uncle Thomas!" He called out and took off down the sidewalk after his uncle. He just had to know what could get there two to fight so fiercely so he would never happen to stumble upon the subject by accident.

When Thomas heard nephew calling he turned and waited for him to catch up. Once he got there James was nearly out of breath. "Hey, Jim, I didn't realize you were home. What's up?" Thomas tried to play as if everything was fine and alright. He didn't want to concern his nephew about he and his brother's disagreements.

James still fought to catch his breath. "I… I came to ask you that." He huffed. "What's up with you and dad?"

Thomas gave his nephew a weak smile and patted his shoulder. "Well, we had a talk about something your father's been in denial about for years." Brown eyes stared curiously at dark hazel eyes willing him to continue. Staring at his nephew, Thomas suddenly realized he wasn't a young boy anymore; he was an adult and had been for a while now. Even though all of this was between him and his father, Thomas thought he could at least give James some advise that could prove useful that he wished someone had told him. "Jim, I want you to promise me something, okay?" He nodded. "No matter what, don't let anyone… and I mean anyone come between you and how you want to live your life, alright?" James had no clue where this was coming from. "No matter what you want or who you fall in love with there's always going to be someone who's not going to like it, and even dislike you for it. Sometimes they'll even try to ruin it for you. Don't let it stop you from being who you are, okay?" His uncle was practically begging him this.

"Uhh, Of course, Uncle Thomas.. Sure." He answered with a nod and a confused stare. Seeing that his nephew had no idea what he was going on about, Thomas shook his head with a chuckle and a pat on James' back.

"You'll understand. Well, I should be getting back. I need to pick Max up from his mother's." Nothing more was said between the two as they walked back to Thomas' car save for their goodbyes. It wouldn't be for a week later that James would finally find out what his father and uncle had been fighting about.

It turned out that his uncle Thomas was moving down south to be with his boyfriend and had come to the Wilson household to tell his only brother of his decision. It was this that had thrown his father into a rage. Turned out the news of his brother being queer didn't go as well as hoped. Thomas even commented that his brother had been turning a blind eye to the situation for years and refused to believe it. James had no idea his uncle was gay. Hell, Thomas even had a kid!

The shouting and yelling that day was the sounds of the normally kind and family oriented Jack tossing his very flesh and blood, his only brother out of his house and home because he was in love with another man and was going to move across country to be with him. In the early 90's, Jack was like many other people who found this lifestyle to be a vile and horrific way to live. A man to be with a man was a sin against God. Could someone be more disgusting?

James hated that his father felt the way he did. He knew and understood that people couldn't choose who they fell in love with. Be it man or woman it was something that just happened. Of course, who you fall in love with depended on what you're attracted to and this was true for James as well.

James thought women were beautiful and mysterious creatures that were always quick to get his attention. He yearned to one day meet the woman of his dreams and get married, have kids, live in a nice house and watch his kids have kids of their own and so on. The straight man's dream. But there was one catch that made the ideal picture a little crooked. Whereas it seemed women would get most of James' attention there was the occasional good looking fellow that would pass by and have James' full and undivided attention. Though this didn't happen too often, it did happen. He actually realized this when he was watching some old films on TV and the 1951 film An American in Paris came on.

He was busy cleaning and not really paying too much attention to the TV, but listening to the story. The whole time the film had been playing he hardly even looked at the screen. Even when beautifully lyrical voice of the lead actor started to sing I Got Rhythm mixed in French and English with a flock of children he still didn't pay any extra attention. It was originally the sound of those tap shoes that finally got him to look up. James had developed a strange love for tap dancing when he began to take lessons as an early teen and to that day but in an instant more fuel was quickly added to that fire with one look at those brown eyes and a glimpse of the sweet and playful boyish charms of Gene Kelly.

Without realizing it, James had stopped what he was doing and quickly became engrossed with the movie. Turned out that James had happened upon a Gene Kelly Marathon one of the TV networks were playing and was in the middle of showing a handful of his films. But it wasn't until the third one he started realized that he wasn't watching the movies for the kindhearted romantic storylines but for the handsome and romantic Gene Kelly himself.

Oh, he felt embarrassed and ashamed. How could he, a boy who was so attracted to women, be attracted in that same sense to Gene Kelly? This would just have to be one of those little secrets he kept to himself. But ever since then he noticed that there were men that did catch his fancy. Though he never acted upon his feelings, he still found them to be awkward and confusing and made sure to keep them to himself.

The setback with his Uncle Thomas being cast out seemed not the only obstacle that the summer was looking to throw at him. It just so happened that James would see his older brother before he got back to med school. It just wouldn't be in the way he had hoped. And even though James had been warned about David's recent unpredictable behavior, nothing could have prepared him for what was going to happen next.

Some time later, James was at home by himself enjoying a crossword puzzle at his leisure as he waited for something good to come on TV. Michael was out with some friends and his parents were off at a restaurant taking pleasure in each other's company. Everything seemed quiet and calm, but in the blink of an eye the serene and relaxed atmosphere was suddenly cast out entirely with a swing of his bedroom door.

James' eyes quickly darted to the sound as his heart pound in his chest from the unexpected scare. There standing in his doorway with his brown hair greasy and dark blue eyes was David. James suddenly became inexplicably nervous. He had wished that he would have someone else with him when David turned up at the house but it seemed that not everything was going to go the way he wished it could have. "Hey, Jimmy, it's been forever since I've seen you."

"H-hi, D." He was so nervous it was hard for him to control his voice completely. It wasn't like David to just barge in with no regard into his room like that. James put down his crossword puzzle and slowly stood. When he got to his feet he was able to get a better look at his brother. His clothes were filthy, like he had been wearing them for days and it didn't look he had seen a bath or shaved in the same amount of time. He was thin and his eyes were darting about the room. "D, you look… terrible."

"As blunt as always, eh, Jimmy? That's no way to greet your brother." He grinned. Something about this didn't seem right to James. He did his best to stay on his toes.

"Yeah, well, hard habit to break." He offered with a nervous laugh.

"It's good to see you." And just like that, the eerie mood of the situation changed. David's blue eyes narrowed darkly. "Wait, who are you?"

James suddenly was no longer nervous; he was scared. "D, it's me."

"Where's Jimmy?" David's voice was now dark and edgy.

Why now? James' mind asked. "David, I'm right here." His voice became shaker as his fear stared to rise more and more with each passing second. He took a step away from his brother.

But David walked closer. "You're not Jimmy, what did you do with him?"

"David, pl-"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JIMMY?!" He yelled loudly, quickly cutting James off. "YOU'RE WITH THEM, AREN'T YOU?! YOU TOOK JIMMY, DIDN'T YOU?!" James couldn't put into words the fear that rushed at him when he saw David pull a knife from his pocket and flicked the long, three inch blade out, making it glint in the light. What made it worse was the way he held the blade defensively toward James, his eyes narrowed harshly.

With his emotions running wild James didn't know what to do as he stood frozen with fear. This man was his brother, the one he'd always looked up to, the one he'd mimic when he was a small boy. Now his own flesh and blood seemed ready to kill him because he thought he was trying to protect him.

David was going to save him by killing him.

All the while James couldn't get his body to do a thing. He was a deer caught in headlights and his mind couldn't seem to process the immense danger he was suddenly in. The fact that the very person he looked up to as a kid was ready to kill him in his own room was hard to conceive. Before he knew it, David had shot forward and grabbed him and held an arm hard against his chest as he held him tight against him. It was the cold metal of the blade pressed hard to his neck that brought him back to his senses, but by then it was too late. "Now tell me what the fuck you did with Jimmy?!" His grip on his younger brother seemed to get tighter as the blade was held even more firmly to his throat.

"David, please, it's me. I'm Jimmy-" he tried to cry out.

"STOP LYING!!" James did his best to resist the urge to swallow as he felt the blade press harder against the soft skin of his throat. "TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO JIMMY OR I'LL-"

"DAVID!! LET GO OF HIM!!!" It seemed that someone somewhere was looking out for James with his saving grace coming in the form of the youngest Wilson boy.

Michael rushed in and tried to pull his crazed brother off James causing the oldest boy to loosen his grip. So sure that this was his only chance to escape, James quickly tried to get free and turned himself around to where he was now facing David. Sensing that his prey was trying to flee, out of reflex David bared down on the blade with it slicing into the back and side of James' neck.

It was only when David noticed the red stickiness of blood seeping from his brother's neck and onto his hand things quickly turned and the harsh gruesomeness of reality hit him; scaring him. He dropped the knife and James in shock with them both clambering onto the floor.

Michael was quickly at his injured brother's side and pulled off his own t-shirt and pressed it hard onto the gash with James letting out a loud hiss of pain. Michael grabbed the knife with one hand and held it defensively toward his eldest brother while he tried to hold the pressure steady against the gash with his other.

"David, get the fuck out of here! NOW!" He seemed rooted to where he stood. Seeing the sight before him David was too shocked to move as he realized what he had just done. "David, if you don't leave I might do something I'll regret! Get the hell out!" The fire in Michael's eyes was reason enough for him to listen and just like that, David was gone.

Michael had no intention of trying to stop David or keeping him from getting in trouble. He was just telling him to leave to make sure James wouldn't be in harms way any longer. Michael had no time to check and make sure he had fled completely. His main priority was James; who was currently bleeding at his feet.

"Oh my God, Jimmy, hold on!"

Michael began to fight with himself on what to do when his eyes came to land on the phone sitting on the nightstand. He didn't want to take the pressure off his brother's wound but he had to get to a phone. After much debate Michael did the only thing he knew he could. He took James' hand and put it in place of his own and applied the same pressure he had been putting before over James' hand. With a voice welled with worry he told James to keep the pressure to the wound. James did the best he could as Michael rushed off to the phone and dialed 911.

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There's nothing more frightening than getting a phone call at the restaurant where you're dining and hearing that your son was in the hospital because someone sliced his throat. The only way it could get any worse is to hear from your youngest that it was your eldest son that held the knife to his younger brother's throat. To know that your own son came centimeters from killing his own flesh and blood because he was too strung out on drugs was heartbreaking. It was a pain that no parent should ever have to go through.

Though the majority of the Wilson clan wasn't so keen on seeing their son/brother for a long while, James wanted answers. When he was deemed well enough to get around and out of bed, he started looking for David. He immediately started looking into the more dangerous parts of town asking around for his brother and he showed everyone he spoke to a picture of David.

His search went on for three weeks as he looked high and low but with no luck. It was like the man had just up and disappeared like a whisper in the wind. In all the excitement of trying to find David and getting better, James had forgotten about the registration date for Columbia University. He felt sick to his stomach when he finally remembered and quickly called the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons registration office to find out the due date.

But to his dismay he listened as the woman on the line told him it was last week. This can't be happening. James thought, not after everything else. It was unbelievable. How could something like this happen to a man who seemed to have everything going for him? He was going to be a doctor! He was going to be someone great. Now it seemed like all his hard work was for naught.

It really wasn't as bad as James was making it out to be. Sure, it looked like he might have to either take some time off before he went back to Med School and just waited until he could register or find another college. It was not the end of the world.

..no matter what James said.

Always wanting the best for his son, Jack tried to think of a way to help James out. If there was one thing the Wilson family knew; it was that helping family was key. So doing his best to brainstorm on just how he could help, Jack was suddenly hit with a brilliant idea only a few days later.

He quickly called his wife from work about it. He asked if her sister's husband was still working for the administrations department for John Hopkins University. Hearing that he still did, Jack immediately went to work on researching how well their medical training facilities were. He was elated to learn that their school of medicine was widely regarded as one of the best medical schools in the world. Jack was suddenly starting to think that maybe James missing his original registration date may have been a blessing in disguise. Going to John Hopkins James would still be close to home and would be going to one of the best medical training facilities in the world.

Still not telling his son what he was up to; Jack gave his brother-in-law a call and talked about getting James into the school. Though the registration date was closed for this university as well; it seemed that by being in charge of registration with the university in Baltimore he could pull a few strings and be able to get James into the school… quietly and under the table; that is.

Once he got the green light, Jack quickly related the good news to his son making sure to keep quiet about all the under the table business. It was only after much thought James figured that it was an alright plan. He'd do his first year at John Hopkins University's School of Medicine then transfer over to Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons the next year and finish out his other years of med school there like he had originally planned. In no way would it have stopped him, but if only he had known what that one year at John Hopkins had in store for him. If he had known he could have braced himself just a little bit for the impact, because that one year would change his view of everything.

Especially himself.