Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

Wet and Soapy

X -x-x-x-x- X

"Oh, shit! What the hell were those Botan?!"

"Blood monsters."

He would have laughed at the idiotic name if he wasn't covered in it.

"Why are they called that?" Kuwabara asked making someone scoff behind him.

"They feed on blood." Botan said.

"Yeah, they also explode it when you kill them! Oh, God, it's in my underwear!"

Indeed, all of them looked like they had taken a dip in a pool filled with red paint.

They came to Genkai's temple and the two teens rushed for the door.

"No way, Kuwabara. I'm going first!"

"Keep dreaming, Urameshi! I'm first!"

The two argued while Botan rolled her eyes.

"This is pointless. I'm going to the beach." Before Kurama could reply Hiei was gone, disappearing splattering some blood on the grass. And Kurama's face.

"ENOUGH!" A voice shouted.

Yusuke looked up in mid choke hold at the old woman.

"I have one bathroom. One. You will all take turns one at a time. Unless you all wish to bathe together." Kuwabara and Yusuke's faces looked like all kinds of horror while Kurama's remained emotionless. "Good. Who's first?"

Kuwabara took in a breath which was followed by a swift punch in the face.

He fell backwards to see Yusuke running in.

"Damn you, Urameshi!"

"The rest of you can wait outside." Genkai said. "You all smell like crap."

When Hiei came back he found everyone in the living room. He was sure they were all talking about something stupid.

"Where did you go?" Yusuke asked.

"The beach."

"Did you clean your clothes?" Kuwabara asked holding his nose.

"Yes."

"I don't think so..." Yusuke said getting up. He got up to Hiei and sniffed.

"What are you doing?"

"Your clothes smell."

"How is this your problem?"

Yusuke raised an eyebrow and grabbed Hiei's wrist and brought it to his nose.

"What - !" Hiei objected.

"Hiei...you stink. Take a shower!" Before he knew what was happening he was flung in a small room with a door slamming behind him.

"You!" Hiei went to open the door when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

He looked dirty. The blood was gone but his skin had a dull sheen as well as his hair, which was clumpy and matted.

He looked at the shower and sighed. "Fine."

He threw down his cloak and pulled his shirt over his head. He swiftly undid his belt and let his pants fall to his feet. He took off his socks and his many bandages, including his bandanna. He then pulled down his boxers and walked up to the shower.

He looked at the glass door and pulled it to the side. He stepped in and grimaced at how slippery it was. He looked around and closed the glass door. He looked down at the spigot and crouched to inspect it closer. He turned the knobs and adjusted the water to his liking. Now what? How was he supposed to bathe in this? He looked at the spigot and saw a small button on the top of it. He touched it and turned it but nothing happened. He tugged on the top of it and felt it give. He pulled it up until he felt it click and the water disappeared. He heard a strange noise and looked inside the spigot.

He jumped and fell backwards when he felt water hit his back.

Here he was, the great Hiei Jaganshi, sitting on the bottom of a human bathtub with water hitting his face.

He growled and stood up and looked where the water was coming from. It was a sprayer of some sort and the water coming out of it looked strange.

He shrugged and turned around to back into it. Slowly the water hit his back, moving up to his neck, and then his head. The water felt like fingers running through his hair, touching his scalp. His hair became heavy and matted to his shoulders.

He sighed liking this feeling of warmth and comfort.

He quickly shook himself from it and looked down at a small shelf with a white bar in it.

He scooped it up and sniffed it. Soap.

Sure, the Makai had soap, but most people didn't use it. Not because they didn't like it or need it, but because it was so expensive. Soap was a luxury, not a necessity.

He shook his head and stepped out of the water, involuntarily shivering from the loss of heat.

He spun it around in his hand creating bubbles. When he got a good lather he brought it up to his chest.

Just then, a horrifying thought struck him. The others used this. He quickly tore it away before it touched his flesh and stared at it. They brought this up to their skin too. The fool -

He swallowed the urge to vomit and held it under the water. After a few layers were washed off he brought it back. It was a bit smaller now but he didn't care.

No way was he going to wash his ass with Kuwabara's.

He started lathering up his left arm with it moving over to his chest, down to his stomach.

He switched hands and did the same to his un-bandaged arm. The dragon tingled as the soap covered it. He smirked. "Feels good?" Electricity running up his arm was his response. He chuckled and moved the soap down to his legs. He lifted his left foot and lathered it. He rinsed it off and did the right one rinsing it after as well.

He rinsed off the rest of his body and moved to wash his back. He lathered his left arm again, and turned the outside of it to his back, rubbing it until it was covered and getting the top with his right hand. He rinsed off his back and lathered his hands while doing so. He closed all three of his eyes and washed his face, hating the feeling of not being able to open his eyes or breath. He rinsed off his face and frowned. He looked down and sighed.

He was incredibly sensitive there.

He lathered up his hands and put the soap back on the little shelf. He lathered up his tuff and moved down to his privates. He looked up at the ceiling as he washed his testicles, moving up to his shaft. He lathered it and scoffed at a slight twinge of pleasure when he moved up to the tip. When he was sure he was clean he washed off and stood there.

Next was his hair. He looked around and saw a blue and yellow bottle in one of the corners. He picked it up and opened the top. He squeezed the bottle and gasped when gooey green stuff squirted out of it. Now with it all over his hands, he squirted some more on the top of his head. He sat the covered bottle back on the corner, and wet his hair and lathered it.

He let his nails scrape at his scalp creating more and more of a fluffy feeling on his head. He closed his eyes and rubbed the sides and front. He got his bangs as well as his neck, and when he was satisfied he went under the water. A slippery feeling washed over his entire body. He grunted when it seeped into his butt crack. He washed his hair as quickly as he could hearing it squeak.

When he was done he simply stood with the water hitting his head, running down on his back all over him. He sighed and pushed the button down, making the water he had come to enjoy stop.

He shook his hair to get the water out of it and opened the steamed over glass door.

The first thing he saw was her blue hair.

She was crouched down with his clothes in her arms.

Now, if she was standing she could have averted her eyes, being that she was taller than him, but since she was crouching she was now shorter than him.

Her amethyst eyes looked up and all the blood drained from her face.

He looked down and smirked. "Are you going to gawk all day?"

A scream made everyone turn to the bathroom.

Her hands covered her face as she ran out blubbering. "He'll never let me live that down!" She cried as her bedroom door slammed shut.

Hiei came out with a towel wrapped around him.

"You're dripping on my hard woods!" Genkai shouted.

Yusuke's eyes widened as he pointed at Hiei. "Speaking of hard wood..."

~End