Icha Icha Magazine

NejTen

Hey people, I'M BACK! I hope this one-shot is GOOD and FUNNY! XD! Enjoy and please review!

i DO NOT OWN NARUTO

Jiraiya, also know as the Pervy Sage to none other than Naruto, was a great businessperson. Besides going on missions and helping his long time friend Tsunade, the Pervy Sage has dedicated part of his life to porn. His popular book, Icha Icha Paradaisu, is one of the most selling books out there; and even Kakashi agrees with that.

Nevertheless, as he got older and got tired of spying on women, he decided to make the women come to him. At first, anyone would think that that idea is ridiculous since no young female would want to be with a perverted hermit; but once Jiraiya had a brilliant idea, the people took their words back.

Icha Icha Magazine

During its first week of release, a billion people worldwide bought it and enjoyed it. Inside were pictures of the sexiest women alive in bikinis, and even naked. That, though, it had helpful love tips for any broken man out there, and it had the release dates of his popular book.

Jiraiya enjoyed getting more money off his magazine. However, what he loved most about the work was taking pictures of the women both in bikinis and in nude.

Some of the selected women he wanted to pose on his magazine was Ino, whom quickly agreed, Sakura, whom took a while but agreed, Kurenai, who agreed behind her husband's, Asuma, back, and Hinata, whom immediately said no since she knew how angry Hiashi will be; and thinking of posing nude made herself faint.

Overall, Jiraiya has asked almost every woman out there to pose nude or in a bikini for his magazine; and satisfactorily for him, most of them agreed.

However, there was one woman out there he hasn't asked yet; and he's pretty scared of asking her. Not because she was going to pin him down and kill him with her weapons; but because of her boyfriend.

Jiraiya doesn't want the Hyuuga prodigy to poke him to death; though Jiraiya really wants the Weapon's Mistress to pose for his magazine. The Pervy Sage is going to ask her; but he needs help.

And there's only one person out there than can help me; one person that he can trust, one person that can withstand the awful, painful pokes of the infamous Hyuuga. And that is….

"ME!?" chocked an astonished Naruto as his chop sticks dropped.

"Yes you, you moron!" yelled Jiraiya, ignoring the stares of the other bypassing villagers.

Naruto groaned, his ocean-blue eyes closing and his lips pouted, and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He hummed, thinking of the idea the Pervy Sage just explained to him.

"How come I get the hard part!?"

"Because I am needed to take the damn picture, you imbecile!"

"But I don't wanna get poked again! That hurts you know!"

"I don't care! Just do as I say!"

"But I don't wanna!"

"I'll buy you some ramen?"

"…… NEJI, HERE I COME!"

It was one of Konoha's finest and coolest weathers. It wasn't too hot, nor was it too cold. The sun gleamed brightly over the small village, and the wind swished back and forth coolly.

The couple chose to take a relaxing break from mission and training; and they decided to relax by a lake, just the two of them.

The lake was just a mile away from their training grounds, and nobody went to that lake since they preferred the cold water from the beach.

The lake's water was fresh and clean. Tenten wore her striking red colored two-piece swimsuit while Neji wore his black trunks. Tenten splashed herself on the cool water while her boyfriend meditated underneath a nearby tree.

Neji would open his eyes every minute and checked on his girlfriend to see if she was all right. When Tenten would notice him looking at her, she would just smile at him and even blow him a kiss. The Hyuuga would just smirk at her acts and continue gazing at her.

As Tenten swam around, Neji closed his eyes; bur reopened them once he heard a noise coming from the bush. He turned his head and got up.

"Naruto, what are you doing here?"

Damn how did he notice me so quickly!?

"Hehe…Hey Neji!"

Neji's eyebrows furrowed as the blond-haired boy walked over to him. He knew that Naruto had something up his sleeve…

"What do you want?"

"I just came here to say hi! It's been a while since we've had a man-to-man conversation!"

"We spoke early this morning." Neji stated matter-of-factly.

Naruto's sheepish grin widened while he rubbed the back of his head.

Meanwhile, Tenten shrugged her shoulders uncaringly once seeing her boyfriend talking to Naruto.

Oh yes yes! Great job, Naruto!

Jiraiya smirked to himself as he continued to take pictures of the Weapon's Mistress in her flaming red bikini.

This is so amazing! God, what nice breasts she has! That Hyuuga is lucky!

Jiraiya continued taking pictures; and so far, the Weapon's Mistress hasn't noticed at all.

Wow I've never seen an ass that big since I spied on Tsunade!

Jiraiya loved how the Weapon's Mistress looked with her silky, long brown hair cascading down to her waist and how hot she looked wearing a red bikini and being all wet from head to toe. What was more amazing was the cool wind blew her hair to the side, and it made her look like a goddess.

Neji is one definitely, lucky-

"What do you think you're doing?"

Jiraiya turned around and saw none other than Hyuuga Neji carrying a grinning Naruto by the back of his shirt.

"A-Ah, no-nothing? By the way, lovely girlfriend you got kid, but I go to-"

Jiraiya was cut off when the ANBU leader grabbed him by the back of his fish-net shirt.

"I think Tenten wouldn't mind using you two as dummy for her aim practice."

Five Days Later…

"Dammit why do I have to do it!?"

"Because you didn't stall Neji long enough! And because of you, I got poked too! Now since I have no other woman to pose for me in a bikini, you will do it! Now pose!"

Naruto whined, but did a sexy pose. He wore a fiery red two-piece swimsuit, exactly like Tenten's, and a brown colored wig.

"Tenten, look at this."

The Weapon's Mistress looked up at her boyfriend and saw him holding a magazine in his hand. She took it and looked at him confusingly.

"Why are you giving me a porn magazine, Neji?"

"Just turn to page 5; you'll love Jiraiya's new supermodel."

Tenten quickly turned her page; and once her eyes caught the picture of the so-called "supermodel", her eyes almost popped out.

"Why is Naruto wearing my bikini!?"

i'M DONE! PLEASE REVIEW!