A Soul Possessed Chapter 7: The Thin Line Between Darkness and Light, an evangelion fanfic

A Soul Possessed

Chapter 7: The Thin Line Between Darkness and Light

An Evangelion Fanfiction

By: Lord Legato Deathscythe

It had been three days since the Fifteenth Angel had torn through Asuka's mind, and three days since she had shared the darkest day of her life with Shinji. Neither of them had ever intended for those memories to be laid out in such a fashion, but it was there now. They both shared those memories between them. Whatever power the Fifteenth Angel had, it had imprinted the memory of the day her mother had died into Shinji's mind, as his had been imprinted in hers.

They had spent most of the last three days just holding on to each other. Their pact to stand together, now had become the only thing holding them together now. Neither moved except to eat, or to answer the annoying call of nature. They just remained on the couch in the living room most of the time, holding on.

Misato had watched them from the hall most days when she wasn't being called to NERV. They were her responsibility, and she felt helpless as they now turned to each other to get through something she couldn't possibly imagine. They both slept now, not moving. Misato was about to go to her room when Shinji slowly got up, making sure not to disturb Asuka from her slumber.

He got up and walked directly to her, the transition between son and mother showing as Yui came out.

"How are they doing?" she asked.

"I thought you would know, considering," Misato said to the dead woman.

"I've stayed out of the way, I didn't want to disturb them myself. But I don't have a choice now, our time is growing short. We don't have much time if we want to ensure their future," Yui said, her voice filled with infinite sadness.

"You saw the same thing Asuka did, didn't you?" Misato said, not really asking.

"I had tried to avoid browsing through his thoughts. I maybe using his body to help them, but I haven't been gallivanting through each memory. You have no idea what it is like to see your own death through the eyes of your child. I hope you never have to find out," Yui said, a shiver running through her.

"You're the one who made it to where he could take control of Unit-01 himself, aren't you?" Misato said, this wasn't a question either.

"No, I didn't. I don't know why that happened, or how."

"But, if you didn't do it then what happened?" Misato asked, fear entering her voice.

"I don't know."

Asuka turned on the couch, mumbling something to low for Misato and Yui to hear.

Yui moved back to the couch, taking on the shape of her son once more, "When Shinji and Asuka stop being joined at the hip, I'll have to start taking a more active role in all this. We don't have time to wait anymore, this train is heading right for us and if we don't do something they are going to be the ones run over by it."

"What do you have Professor?"

Fuyutsuki had walked in with a folder of some sort and began laying pages out on the commanders desk. Every page held a readout of some sort of another, some marked and some not. Fuyutsuki handed Gendo one that was marked "Third Child" and dated six months ago.

"This is Shinji's brainwave pattern when he first piloted Unit-01. It's stable, and it hadn't gone through any of the changes Dr. Akagi noted. Now, as the amount of time in Unit-01 increases, another pattern begins to interfere with that," Kouzou said.

"Yes, I know all this. What does this have to do with his control over Unit-01?" Gendo said, impatient with his mentor.

"This is the battle with the Thirteenth. You can see the unknown pattern here is causing much more interference until the point where it becomes dominate. Do you see anything familiar about this pattern?"

Gendo shook his head, "Nothing of consequence."

Fuyutsuki smiled, "Of course you wouldn't, because you aren't looking close enough. Here is another brainwave pattern. It's an exact match to the unknown. I don't blame you for not recognizing it, since you haven't seen anything like it for about ten years. At the time you weren't concerned with patterns of the mind when it related to this subject."

Commander Ikari looked at the readout. It was a perfect match to the abnormal pattern observed in the Third Child. He didn't see what the professor was getting at until he read the header. His jaw dropped slightly, breaking the cold mask he usually wore.

"How is this possible?"

"I don't know. I just know that it is happening. Brainwave patterns are like fingerprints, they never change on any drastic level. And they are different to each person, no one has the exact same pattern. There are always minute differences, but a base line comparison to normal can tell you if someones brain is working properly. Other then that, there is a lot that we don't know about the mind, even now," Fuyutsuki explained. The break in the Commander's exterior told him the message had gotten through.

"Leave me, I have to give this serious thought," Ikari said, turning away from Kouzou and facing the walls of glass looking out into the rest of the Geofront.

The old professor gathered his material and made to leave the office. He had purposefully left the older readout on Ikari's desk, knowing the implications of what he had told the commander. Kouzou Fuyutsuki now wondered what was going through the mind of his once star pupil as he left the office of Commander Ikari.

Asuka woke sometime late morning, the apartment filled with silence and the scent of rain from an open window. The nightmare she had been through still ran through her mind like a freight train, unstoppable and constant. The only comfort that had come to her was oddly enough Shinji. She didn't see them as lovers, didn't even really think of what was happening between them as such. If they were nothing more then friends, that would be enough.

As difficult as it was to admit to herself, Asuka needed someone to simply hold onto right then. He had risked his life to save her, had in some way forced Unit-01 to his will, and pulled her out of that illuminated Hell the Angel had brought down on her. She couldn't feel anything other then drained and exhausted, her mind still filled with the images she had fought so long to keep hidden from herself.

There was more there now though, more that she hadn't even begun to process. For the brief moment that they were both in the beam together, something from his mind had been sent into hers. She hadn't delved too deeply into it yet, but could still hear one thing in her mind.

The voice of Commander Ikari screaming.

She wasn't adverse to hearing him scream in agony, had thought about various ways she'd torture him if given the chance and what would happen. This scream however, wasn't of a man who was cold, calculating, unfeeling. This was a cry of loss, a soul broken in half as hers had been. After the scream all she could hear was the sound of a young boy crying and asking for his father to come back.

It was too much to handle at one time, her pain and the pain of two others. As hard as she tried though she couldn't force either memory back to the darkness. They repeated in her mind so much they overlapped, until it was simply the sound of agony with no form or context. If she was seeing this, then she knew Shinji had to be seeing the same thing in his mind.

She didn't know how either of them would be able to talk to the other about what they had seen. Part of her wanted to rail against him, to destroy him for this. She had a hard time not listening to that voice. But then she remembered he put himself in harms way to stop her assault. He even had taken it himself as he had pushed her out of the Angel's way. That and the recent strangeness she couldn't muster up the energy to be even angry.

She should have been furious.

Perhaps the attack had taken more from her then she realized. The stress of dealing with everything that she had been forced to relive then take on wore on her. She would deal with it as she had been. "I have to get through this," she thought angrily.

She walked to the kitchen for something to eat and drink. Her throat felt dry as she started to let the juice from the fridge drain past her lips. She didn't want to wake Shinji from his slumber, knowing he needed what peace he could get just as much as she did. She fixed a small sandwich and ate it quietly.

He was still sleeping when she went back into the living room. In that she couldn't blame him, only wishing she could rejoin him in some dreamless rest. She wasn't going to get that luxury though. She felt dirty, soiled. She could still smell the LCL on her and the stickiness of the blood scented fluid on her skin. There was more to this feeling of uncleanliness though.

She left Shinji laying on the couch and went to the bathroom, stripping off the clothes she wore as she did. If he awoke and saw her she didn't really care. After what they had shared in mind a little physical exposure to the other was inconsequential. She closed the bathroom door and looked at herself in the mirror. If there was ever a time she understood why her guardian looked the way she did with a hangover now was the time. Asuka just hadn't had the benefit of enjoying a night drinking to obtain this look.

Asuka took a long shower, letting the water clear away what remained of the LCL from her flesh. The water ran across her skin, and Asuka could almost feel bits and pieces of what had happened drain down her body as the water cleansed her. She wasn't foolish though. That thing had raped her, violated the most sacred part of her she had. Even a physical rape would have been bad, but to have your mind torn apart and your nightmares forced upon you was worse.

And Shinji had gone through the same thing. Would he feel as she felt right now? Knowing him he would feel worse about being shown her past then his own pain. It was how he was, less concerned with himself. He would feel guilty because in his mind he had also ravaged her even if all he did was save her life.

She wouldn't let him, because she was just as guilty as he was.

Asuka stepped out of the shower and dried herself off. She went to her room and put on some fresh clothes, picking out the most comfortable shirt and shorts she had. She went back to the living room and found Shinji still asleep, this time though he was restless. She watched his brow furrow as he moaned out in his sleep. As she laid her hand on his forehead she heard him say, "Please... no... don't leave me... please... Father."

Asuka held him as he fought against this nightmare, knowing he had done the same for her.

"So how are they holding up?" Ritsuko asked.

Misato didn't look well at all. Her eyes were bleary, dark circles obvious under her eyes. Akagi could tell her old friend hadn't held up too well either. Misato barely could be heard as she spoke, "They've been sleeping together ever since they got home. And before you get any weird ideas I mean that literally."

Ritsuko nodded, "Understandable, they both suffered some mental contamination from the attack. Luckily it was from each other and not the Angel."

Misato didn't like that, "There was nothing lucky about what happened."

Ritsuko knew the turn this was taking, and unlike others wasn't one to try to stop it. "It's cruel, but we don't have a choice. We're talking the survival of our species, we can't forget that."

Akagi turned to leave, but just before she was out the door she heard Misato say, "What good is saving the species when we lose what makes us human?"

Ritsuko Akagi had no answer for that kind of question.

Yui walked through the corridors of NERV quickly. No one paid her much mind as she kept her son's visage clearly. The Children were all scheduled for a sync test today. NERV was more concerned with getting them in the plug and making sure they could still start up the Eva's. Yui had every confidence Shinji would be cleared, she was worried about Asuka though. Even before the fifteenth the girl was dangerously close to the edge. Hopefully having Shinji and her together would get the daughter of her old friend through this.

Yui stopped at a MAGI terminal out of the way and hidden from prying eyes both human and electronic. The fingers of her hand danced over the keyboard with practiced ease. Everything was there before her, and now it was clear what would happen next. No one knew the scenario better then her save Gendo. Yui could tell from the files that he was already preparing for the Sixteenth.

She began her long walk back to the locker room so Shinji could take over. However she had left a treat in the Lazarus protocols. Gendo would be pleasantly surprised she hoped. Pleasant for her needs, not his anymore.

"I started this nightmare. I dragged my family into it, and now I have to finish it," she thought as she entered the locker room and receded into the back of Shinji's mind once more.

If anyone asked him what he had been doing he wouldn't be able to answer. As it was he couldn't explain how he had ended up in the locker room, or what had happened for the last twenty minutes. Shinji shook a little as he tried to deal with this blackout he had just had. He wrote it off though, certain that he had simply lost himself in thought trying to come to terms to the dark turn his life had taken.

Rei Ayanami was dead. There was no way anyone could have survived the destruction that Unit-00 left in its wake. She had done the most noble thing anyone could do for another. She sacrificed her own life rather then see the only other person in her life who ever cared for her injured. This fact was not lost on Shinji Ikari, if only because it made it hurt more.

He hated people getting hurt or injured because of him. Strange that lately he had sought comfort and solace in the arms of a girl who used to do him harm just for glancing at her wrong. But she was willing to be there now, and just hold him as he mourned for the loss. They had been doing that a lot lately, holding onto each other to get through the nightmares they had faced.

Asuka stroked his hair as he lay there with his head in her lap. She hadn't let go of him since Unit-00 blew. She knew how important Rei had been to him, maybe even a little jealous of the blue haired girl.

That stopped her in her tracks. "Why should I be jealous that he had feelings for Wondergirl? It's not like I actually like him that way. It's just that he needs me right now, that's all."

She never told her self that part of the reason she had not shied away from him or smacked him had been for the exact same reason. It was a feat for her to let him need her and actually do something about it. Still, she had to admit that when they slept side by side the nightmares of her Mother never seemed to come. If anything that was worth letting him touch her in any way.

"I just can't believe she's gone," he said, so softly she could barely hear him.

Asuka ran her fingers over his scalp, "She died to save you, just like you nearly did for me."

"I just wish I had been able to save her," he said, the tears starting to come.

Asuka just sat there and let him mourn, "I know Shinji, I know."

That he wanted to save everyone Asuka could see. He was so much more noble then she was. Asuka accepted that, she knew it was true. She had piloted Eva for her pride and the prestige. Rei had piloted because she had nothing else, a soldier that would die if ordered. She had proved that much today. Shinji however...

Out of all the pilots he had been the only one who first got in the Eva to spare someone else pain. Everything he had done in the Eva had been to help save the people around him. Every failure to save even one person weighed on him. It was only natural for him to be crushed by the guilt of loosing a friend to save his own life.

Asuka couldn't deny it anymore, his lack of pride made him the better pilot. Test scores were meaningless. All that mattered was how many Angels they had killed. Shinji didn't even see it that way. Maybe that was why he was able to best her so readily. The thing that was really shocking now was her lack of anger towards him. Having a part of his mind in hers now really did seem to calm her. Maybe it was a hidden blessing. The phone rang in the background, Asuka went to answer it leaving Shinji to rest. He didn't get much of a chance as Asuka ran back to him with the phone in hand.

"She's alive!"

Kaji stood in the hallway waiting to be summoned by the Prime Minister. The Ministry of the Interior had all his data and were still going through the information Yui Ikari was giving them through her son. He had not mentioned that part to anyone for fear of it all being ignored. People don't come back from the dead after all. If he was lucky he could keep more people from joining them though.

He was ushered into the office and stood as the Prime Minister acknowledged him. The Defense Minister and Interior Minister were also in the room, the three people he had to convince not to just barge in guns blazing. He only had to wait a few moments for the door to close before he was asked to report.

"My contact within NERV has been feeding us information since I was forced to vacate. They have managed to get us information on both Ikari and SEELE's plans after the final angel has been eliminated."

The defense minister huffed, "Then why are we waiting? I say we storm NERV now and stop this madness!"

"We can't, NERV is still a UN organization that is above Japanese law. We'll have to wait until we can get the UN to turn them over to us," the interior minister said.

"Good point, but we take no prisoners when we do take that godforsaken place," the defense minister said. Kaji could tell he's out for blood.

"Do you want to slaughter a bunch of unarmed, untrained technicians and murder three children?" Kaji asked.

The Prime Minister took all of this in. Kaji continued, "My contact in NERV has only agreed to help me as long as we guarantee a level of security for the pilots themselves and Major Katsuragi. She's become a mother in most respects to the Second and Third Children."

The defense minister scoffed at this, "The Pilots should be terminated with prejudiced!"

Kaji turned on him, "I know those kids, they have nothing to do with Ikari's plans past finishing off the Seventeenth."

The Prime Minister decided to speak, "Agent Kaji is right. I will not turn the JSSDF on those kids and take away their lives in an assault. We have a source of information within NERV. We also have a possible fifth column in this source and Major Katsuragi if they don't have reason to turn on us. Ordering the executions of the pilots would give them just that."

"I can vouch for Major Katsuragi, Prime Minister. If we give her a way to get those kids through this alive she'll take it. Even if they can pilot an Evangelion, we shouldn't be so quick and eager to rob them of the chance of having a life after this," Kaji said.

"Then we will go with your proposal Agent Kaji. If an invasion does become necessary the troops will not be ordered to kill everything in sight. Am I clear?"

The three other men stood and bowed, acknowledging they were dismissed.

Gendo had not moved from the spot Fuyutsuki had left him in for several hours. The information his old professor had laid out gave the once assured man pause. The implications were absolute however. She was actively working against him. Gendo shook his head, trying to free himself of this new doubt. The assuredness he prided himself on however refused to come.

This had after all been her work, her desire. He should had expected that she would turn against his plans as they no longer coincided with her own. He couldn't accept her plans, not after they had cost him the one thing he cared about most in the world. Her desire to turn Eva into a new ark.

"Yui, are you still trying to turn your creation into the last beacon of humanity? Are you still so certain the old men are right and wish for Unit-01 to remain as humanities grave marker? No, you couldn't. Not after what you've undoubtedly seen within Shinji's mind," Gendo thought.

He had hidden that fact from Fuyutsuki and Akagi. As much as his scenario called for something amounting to genocide Yui's original idea had been much worse. She had all the knowledge he had about the scrolls thanks to SEELE. Knew what they were planning as intricately as he had. She had created Unit-01 to combat the Angel's for the purpose of protecting humanity and proving ourselves worthy of the next step. Whatever form that step would take.

Dispite of what most would think, Commander Gendo Ikari had nothing but love in his heart for his son. It was that love that drove him to cast the boy away, that love that forced him to keep him distant. That love of a Father, so stained with blood to keep his only child away so the taint wouldn't be passed on. Gendo knew his sins, and knew the old saying. He would be damned if his sins were visited upon Shinji.

For the first time in ten long years Gendo Ikari was uncertain about how to proceed. If Yui had changed her mind then she would find a way to save their son. If she hadn't then she was still willing to leave Unit-01 and it's souls to whatever may find it as the last marker of a dead people.

Gendo however always had believed that death brings nothing.

Shinji, Asuka, and Misato stood in horror as Ritsuko Akagi destroyed every last dummy plug core. The empty shells that all looked like Rei, laughing happily as they died and dissolved into the LCL that held them. Asuka felt at that moment nothing more then the cold understanding one gets when something truly monstrous is laid out before them. The connection between Shinji and Rei. The cold and distant nature of the First. Even her odd interest in Shinji.

Shinji however couldn't gather up enough coherent thought to even make those connections. All he could do was face this nightmare, hoping he could wake up knowing he was wide awake. The horror before him was all too real, and all too close. He barely registered Asuka's hand take his as his shoulders started to shake.

Misato kept her gun trained on her old friend as Asuka lead Shinji out of the lab. Once they were in the corridor Shinji leaned against the wall, the tears falling slowly. Asuka took him in her arms and held him tightly.

"It's okay, just let it out," she said as Shinji broke down. His arms wrapped around her and clung to her for dear life as she had been doing with him since her mind had been violated. They just stood there, clinging to each other as the world around them seemed to be falling apart.

All of this was not lost on the lost soul within, "So, my wraith has had all her spares disposed of. One more key to Gendo's plans falling away. Dear Husband, I do hope you understand what I am doing here. My plans are so much more important then your own."

To Be Continued

Author's notes: Note too pleased with this chapter, but I think it fills things in nicely. But the question is now, are Yui's plans as altruistic as they were initially thought?

Prereaders:

Next Chapter: The Fifth Child arrives and already can sense that something is wrong with Shinji. Asuka does all she can to keep him stable, a difficult task for one who still isn't certain about her own feelings. And are Yui's plans really as focused on Shinji as she's lead Misato to believe? Or as with everything else within the belly of the beast, are her motives something completely different.

Next Chapter: Angels We Have Heard on High.