Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor do I make any money from writing this. It is the property of Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.
This is a Yaoi FanFiction, for all those clueless readers out there that means it is a homosexual story between two men. If that is not your cup of tea then I ask that you click the back button now. This is rated M for a reason, there will be lemon (sex) later on in the story so I will say it again, if you don't like that then please leave quietly. Though I ask you to please give my story a chance, it's rocky at first but it gets a lot better later.
This is the Betaed version, I am reposting chapters that have been betaed by the wonderful VirtualDraconium this person is awesome!
Also Skyhe sent me a Super-betaed version of this chapter a while ago and I quite liked a few things in it. (I agree with you Skyhe, calling Raito "The Entity" is awkward so I altered it a bit.)
It was very hard for me to pick between you guys, and I also have an IRL friend that also wanted to beta my story. But I am happy with my choice and I hope that my much cleaner chapters make everyone happy too.
Thank you to the both of you! I hope to have the other Betaed versions of this story up soon!
Darkness-it was all that he could see. It surrounded him, embraced him, and filled him inside and out. He wasn't able to feel his body, he tried to move his arm where he assumed his arm would be, but he felt nothing. He tired to shout, to make some sort of noise but… nothing. How could one make noise without a body? Trying not to panic was strangely easy, it was like any emotion he had was muted. He tired to remember what had happened, only to realize that he didn't even know who he was. Now, he did feel some sort of panic.
"Who am I? Where am I?" he thought to himself, or maybe he was even speaking aloud, it was hard to tell in this place. He tried to remember anything at all about himself. Time passed, or it might not have; it could have been mere minutes or many years that he had been here.
"Maybe I've always been here? Maybe this is my home? Or this could be some sort of punishment or something; maybe I did something bad and now have to repent and suffer in this place." He snorted in disgust.
"Like that would work, if it is some sort of repentance wouldn't it be smarter for me to remember what I did in order to know what I'm suppose to have done in order to repent!?" After that long and drawn out sentence that made not sense at all, he decided to take a break about trying to recall his forgotten memories and to instead try to see if he could explore his surroundings at all.
After moving for a while, at least what he hoped was moving, he finally noticed that the darkness that had always surrounded him seemed-to have lost essence? Well, it seemed like it was just lessened somehow. It was still completely dark around him, but it didn't seem like it was quite so oppressive or invasive any more. He also noticed that he didn't feel as muted as before. While before he'd hardly felt anything, now it seemed that he felt-cold and scared?
"Now that's different, and quite annoying. Why would I be scared?" Just as he thought that he was bombed with emotions.
If he could have screamed he would have been wailing in agony over the emotion that overloaded and seemed to hit him all at once.
Anger… Fear…Hate… Joy… Revulsion… Terror… Hope… Dread… Disgust… Affection?
They all seemed to be equal in their intensity and there were more negative emotions than positive ones. All he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and pray that the emotions would go away, or at least lose some of their intensity.
After a while in which it seemed that an eternity had passed, it finally seemed that the emotions were calming down inside of him.
"Ok then, that was painful and I really have no wish to have it repeated. It seems that the less darkness there is inside of me, the more I'll feel… maybe if I go further I'll get my memories back… that is if I even had any to begin with."
Even though he didn't want to suffer the pain he'd just been through, he couldn't not go. To either suffer in this darkness, for maybe the rest of his existence, without knowing anything or to brave a little pain and maybe just make it out of this place.
It didn't take too long for him to make a decision. Even were he to stay he would have been increasingly bored out of his mind.
"So I guess onward and hopefully outward, I just hope I don't regret what I'm about to do. I must have done something really bad to be here; hopefully I can accept it and really start my repentance." With that last determined thought he moved onward, unknowingly setting in motion a chain of events that would change not only himself, but every world around him, for either good or evil.
Betaed: 7/31/09
Rewritten: 8/01/09
Reposted: 8/01/09
Wow after rewriting this I have to say my style of writing has definitely changed over the last year. Comparing this chapter to some of my latest chapters makes me cringe in abhorrence.
I hope the shortness of this chapter doesn't discourage any readers, later on the chapters get quite big, than even out into reasonable sized chapters.
Please Review! I really love hearing what my readers think about the story. Comments, questions, criticism, it's all good!