Loveless, a naruto fanfic

Loveless

"I love you."

It was as if a shot of thunder struck him, as he heard those three words being said. The first thought crossed Naruto's mind, as his body went stiff, was that maybe he had heard wrong. But his prejudice was shaken when the person who said those words, stared at him with his dark eyes fully focused on him.

"I always do." He added.

The second thought crossed Naruto's mind, was that he knew those eyes. Those deep, dark eyes that flashed an emotion Naruto used to see every time he coincidentally caught Sasuke was staring at him, yet he was unable to identify it. He'd never asked either.

"…what?" was the only respond Naruto could coax. He wasn't expecting this, especially not from him.

Naruto didn't know what else to say.

Then he saw those eyes darkened to sadness, it was a transformation so slight most people wouldn't notice because Sasuke had always been expressionless most of the time, yet Naruto was able to identify it, for he was Sasuke's best friend. Although now he knew he was the only one who thought of him like that.

A lonely smile grew on those thin, rosy lips. "Don't make such an expression." He said, laughing a bit.

Naruto didn't getwhat the hell made him laugh in such an awkward situation. Especially, when Sasuke looked so fragile and lonely like he was right now, it was the complete contrary of his usual strong, prideful image.

Then the nervous laugh quickly died down. Too quick for Naruto. "I…I only wanted to tell you, don't worry so much." He smiled again. Naruto usually felt glad whenever he saw Sasuke smile, because the Uchiha rarely did, but this time he didn't.

He hated it. That painful smile.

"Naruto," A deep voice whipped Naruto back from his thoughts. It was Sasuke's. "I'm sorry."

Then The Uchiha turned his back, and slowly walked away. Soon, Sasuke disappeared from his sight, even before Naruto could wholly consume his last, disturbing words. He was completely dumbstruck and stunned, all in one package.

He even forgot to zip up his pants after using the urinal.

"Damn it." Naruto moaned out, lolling his head lazily on the table. The French class had ended, yet he didn't feel relieved. His head was hurting.

He couldn't sleep a wink last night.

Of course he couldn't, who on earth could sleep peacefully, after he received a love confession from his own male friend? And on top of that, he left Naruto with an ambiguous apology right after he told him that he'd always loved him.

Why?

Naruto wrapped his arms on the desk, and sank his miserable face in. Why did Sasuke say that? He thought to himself. Naruto found out Sasuke's orientation wasn't what surprised him. He could've cared less if his best friend was gay. Yet… the fact that his 'best friend' suddenly confessed to him, was what confused him to the utmost. He certainly didn't expect it.

For almost three years since they became friends, Sasuke had never said nor acted this way. He'd even supported Naruto when he told the Uchiha he liked Sakura, their classmate. Naruto thought they were doing very well, as friends.

Naruto sighed deeply. He didn't get what Sasuke was thinking. Why, Sasuke?

"Yo, Naruto. What's with the long face?" Naruto quickly brought his head up.

"Kiba," He said, sighing in disappointment. "It's you." Right, Sasuke's class starts at ten, it's still got half an hour to go, he couldn't be here now... Naruto mused irritably.

"Sounds like I'm not the one you're expecting." Kiba said, noticing the disappointed look. "Who're ya waiting for? That chick, Sakura?"

"No…" In fact, the pink-haired beauty didn't cross his mind at all since yesterday.

His mind was too preoccupied by Sasuke.

Kiba gave him an odd look. "Weird; you usually brag non-stop 'bout her. Even Shino gets really irritated when you talk too much; it's a miracle Sasuke could stand it."

At the last revelation, a horrible realization struck the blonde's head like a thunder struck a tall tree. If Sasuke already had feelings for him since that time, didn't that mean Naruto was being insensitive and cruel…?

Wait, Naruto thought.

Was it possible, that Sasuke had loved him back then? Then, Naruto had been hurting him since the very beginning of their friendship. Yet Sasuke had always listened to his chatters with a brief smile on his lips, he never refused him, so Naruto had never…

Suddenly, a sharp chill went down his spine.

Sasuke had always smiled.

"Naruto," The man in question didn't answer. "Oi, Naruto!"

Naruto suddenly whipped his head up, his eyes were wide. "…huh?"

"Geez, what're you spacing out for?" Kiba exclaimed brusquely. "I was asking you to eat breakfast with me, but you were totally out of it! What's wrong with you?"

"N-nothing." Naruto answered quickly, though he really wasn't paying attention.

"Well, whatever," Kiba shrugged nonchalantly. "So, how about we eat at Nine Tail's? I'm hungry!"

"Sure." Naruto nodded.

In the hallway, Kiba and Naruto met with Kankuro, and they ended up going together, which was totally fine for Naruto, because Kiba was caught up by Kankuro, thus Naruto didn't have to stick with the conversation. He was neither in the mood to talk, nor eat. His head was hurting. He had a headache. Things had become too complicated.

How could he ever face Sasuke again?

"Ah, Sasuke! He's here already!" Naruto whipped his head up in surprise. His eyes widened at the sight of a beautiful dark-haired man, who occupied one of the tables, he was reading a book while enjoying a cup of coffee, he hadn't notice them yet.

Before Naruto had a chance to stop Kiba, the brunette already exclaimed aloud, "Oi, Sasuke! Here, here!"

Naruto's heart rate accelerated when his eyes met with Sasuke's. His stomach felt strange, and…

He couldn't breath.

Kiba and Kankuro, in the other hand, approached the Uchiha, pulled the empty chairs, and joined him. While Naruto was still standing by the café entrance, flabbergasted.

"Naruto, don't just stand there, come'ere and sit with us!" Exclaimed the oblivious Inuzuka, he pulled an empty seat right beside the Uchiha.

Naruto didn't move, he looked awfully disturbed and confused. "But I…I…"

He didn't know what to do, what should he say; how should he react? Naruto had no idea. With much uncertainty in his mind, he slowly brought his eyes up to see…

…and he saw Sasuke smiled.

What…? Naruto mused, at lost.

"Naruto," He saw those thin, rosy lips moved. "What are you doing? Come here." His voice was gentle and steady, like normal.

Naruto was confused, but he found himself being drawn to that voice. He approached the three, averting his eyes from Sasuke's. He silently sat on the chair Kiba offered.

Sasuke smiled at him. Naruto didn't return it.

Why did Sasuke smile? Why was he acting like nothing happened? Was his confession to Naruto yesterday was just a sick joke?

Naruto didn't understand.

They were at a bar near school as usual. Kiba, Kankuro, and Chouji were busy playing poker, the girls; Hinata, Sakura, and Ino were chatting at the bar, and Neji and Shikamaru were both caught up in chess battle. Sasuke…was sitting alone at the corner.

Naruto decided to ask about the other day's event. "Sasuke!" He called out, and the silent Uchiha held his head up at his call.

Naruto was uncertain, but he decided give it a shot. "Sasuke, um…" He started hesitantly. "About the other day…"

Sasuke calmly listened to him. It made things awkward for Naruto. "I mean, uh, you were…joking, right?" Naruto laughed nervously.

Sasuke smiled. "No, I didn't."

The laugh instantly died down. "What?"

"I wasn't joking. I wasn't drunk. I had my mind absolutely clear that time. When I told you that I love you, I was serious." Sasuke uttered, still had that odd smile. Naruto suddenly became speechless. He felt his head spun dizzily.

He couldn't think.

"Don't look like that." The Uchiha continued, his expression darkened to loneliness. "I didn't mean to confuse you, I…I told you I just wanted to tell you. I don't expect you to give an answer. I'm sorry if I confused you." Then Sasuke stood up, he picked up his bag and wore his coat.

"I should go now; tomorrow I have an early class." He said, but Naruto still couldn't coax anything out of his windpipe. "Naruto…please forget what I've said. You can…you can just pretend like nothing happened between us, okay?" He gave Naruto a soothing smile.

Then he turned his back on the blonde. "See you tomorrow."

Naruto couldn't comprehend what had happened just now, what was Sasuke trying to say? He couldn't remember.

But his chest hurt.

"Naruto, what's with you and Sasuke?" Kiba asked one day.

Naruto's heart thumped at the question. "Why do you ask?"

"Mm, dun' know…" Kiba scratched his head, trying to find the right words. "It's just these days, you two seem like…awkward? Do ya have a fight or something?" He asked again.

Naruto flinched, but quickly answered. "N-no. We're doing fine." He lied.

"Is that so?" Kiba leered in suspicion, but decided it wasn't his problem. "Then good."

In the back of his mind, Naruto panicked. People had started noticing the awkward atmosphere they emitted. Sasuke had told him to forget everything, but even so, Naruto…

"Speak of the devil, there's Sasuke!" At Kiba's claim, Naruto immediately shot up.

He saw the beautiful Uchiha entered the classroom. When he saw Naruto, he smiled and waved.

Naruto's heart thumped louder.

They were in Sasuke's apartment to do a group assignment. Fortunately, Naruto came with Gaara and Kiba. He wouldn't know what to do if he were to be alone with Sasuke. While Kiba was patching reference pictures on a piece of paper, and Gaara was busy typing the data, Sasuke and Naruto were reading several books for information.

At the time, Naruto felt the most discomfort. Even if his eyes were at the book he read, his mind couldn't concentrate. He felt Sasuke's eyes burned holes in to his head.

"Naruto," Sasuke called. Instinctively, Naruto looked up to him. To his surprise, Sasuke was smirking haughtily at him. "Super-idiot, you're reading the book upside down."

Naruto whipped his head and finally came to realize he was actually reading the book upside down. His face turned crimson. "Crap!" He exclaimed, gabbing the other two's attention.

"What's this? I don't know you like reading books upside down, Naruto." Kiba teased, laughing loudly. The red head even snorted.

"I do not!" He declined, his face flushed further. Then he turned to Sasuke, "And don't call me that, Sasuke!" He exclaimed indignantly.

Sasuke smirked slyly. "I can't help it if you really are an idiot, super-idiot." Kiba started laughing, and Gaara smiled a bit. The atmosphere suddenly brightened.

"I said don't call me that!" Naruto said, a smile rose on his lips. He did felt stupid.

Then Naruto laughed, it was the first he had in days, he felt so relieved. He glanced at Sasuke, and saw him smiling too. But it wasn't the kind of sad smile he'd been showing these past few days, it was a genuine smile.

More than anything, this fact relieved him the most.

"…and we ended up abandoning the work. For heaven's sake." Said a grumpy red head, he leered accusingly at a certain wild-haired brunette, who glared at him back.

"Don't look at me like that! You look like you were enjoying too!" He snapped back.

"True." Gaara admitted thoughtfully. "Still, it was you who begged for a short break, and deliberately took it too far." Kiba didn't reject; he was guilty after all.

"I guess it can't be helped." Gaara sighed. "Naruto, sorry you have to stay over and continue the work alone."

"Nah. It's fine." Naruto replied lightly.

"Then we'll be leaving now." And the two left.

Sasuke and Naruto were left alone, but Naruto didn't feel awkward anymore, thanks to the recent event. He felt so relieved and glad that things seemed normal…at least at the moment.

"So…" Naruto stretched his arms. "Let's get back to work!" He cheerfully said, smiling at Sasuke, who stared at him.

"What's wrong?" Naruto casually asked.

"You finally smile." He gave a relived smile to Naruto. The one that caused the blonde's stomach went upside down. "I'm glad." He said softly.

Naruto suddenly felt his chest hurt. His heart started racing. He felt so glad, yet…sad. Naruto didn't know Sasuke had noticed his uneasiness these past few days, he didn't know Sasuke was worried. Naruto wondered how Sasuke must've felt; knowing the reason of Naruto's uneasiness was him? He'd never thought of it. He'd never realized.

Why did Sasuke think of him so much? Why…did Sasuke love him?

His chest raced wildly.

Naruto wanted to know the answer.

"…I think we have to put this picture instead, what do you think?" Naruto asked, he handed the picture to Sasuke. The Uchiha took a brief look.

"I don't think it represent the fact, it only shows a student demonstration, not the actual example for an act for revolution." He commented.

"You think so?" Naruto said, then he deliberately picked another picture "How about this?" Sasuke took a look.

"Yes, this'll do." He said, "I have the glue…somewhere in the drawer." Then he stood and left the room.

When Sasuke was out of sight, Kiba slowly approached the blonde. "Did you and Sasuke made up? You two seem in good shape." He whispered to Naruto's ears.

"Yep." Came a confident reply.

"That's good." Kiba commented with a grin. Naruto smiled back.

He was glad things were back to normal.

The next morning Naruto stayed over Sasuke's apartment, he was shocked to find another pair of lips was over his, a tongue had slid its way inside his crevice. He was shocked by the fact that the owner of those thin, rosy lips was none other than Sasuke himself.

When Naruto moaned into the kiss, the Uchiha immediately noticed he had awaked. He quickly pulled away, looking absolutely horrified. Naruto had never seen Sasuke like that.

"I-I'm sorry!" He staggered in panic, and quickly removed himself from atop the blonde. Naruto brought his body to sit, his fingers trailed his lips, and his eyes were on Sasuke.

"Sasu—"

"I'm sorry!" The Uchiha cut him, his face had turned bright crimson, yet shocked and horrified at the same time. "I didn't mean to do that! I was just—I'm sorry, Naruto, I-I have to leave…"

Without further ado, Sasuke took his keys and coat, then rushed to the front door in a hurry and slammed the door closed. Naruto hadn't had the chance to say anything. He didn't move an inch, his fingers were touching his lips.

The warmth on his lips had yet to fade away.

That day, Sasuke didn't come to school.

"Where's Sasuke? Haven't seen him since morning." Kiba asked Naruto, they were eating lunch at the campus's café.

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know." The truth was, he really didn't know. He had called Sasuke's cellphone, but the Uchiha didn't pick it. It's okay. Naruto mused to himself.

I'll wait for him.

The next day, Sasuke didn't attend school again. So Naruto went to his apartment, and waited for him by the front door.

An hour passed, and still, Sasuke hadn't appeared. But Naruto didn't leave. Then another hour, two hours, three hours, until the clock struck twelve Naruto waited patiently. Yet there was no trace of Sasuke. He didn't pick up his cellphone, he didn't reply Naruto's messages, it was as if…

Sasuke just disappeared.

Naruto decided it was the time for him to go back to the dorm.

But tomorrow, he'll come again.

The next day, Naruto did the same.

"Just how long do you plan to wait for him?" A bluish grey haired boy who passed by said to Naruto.

"Who're you?" The blonde asked back.

"The name's Suigetsu. I live next door." He said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. "Give it up; Sasuke's gone to his family grave. He won't be back in a week or so."

"Family grave…?" He remembered Sasuke had once told him, his parents and older brother had passed away. Naruto suddenly felt a sharp pain struck his chest.

Sasuke was all alone in this world.

"It's alright," Naruto said. "I'll wait for him."

Suigetsu shrugged nonchalantly. "Suit yourself."

Naruto woke up with the morning sunlight showered over him. He felt really cold. He had headache. Naruto looked around with his drowsy eyes; he vaguely remembered he had fallen asleep while waiting for Sasuke. He had slept outside the whole night.

That explained the fierce backache.

Naruto tried to stand, having difficulties as he did so. He felt his whole body was sore and cold. His throat felt dry and hurt, and he coughed quite a lot, Naruto might've caught a cold. But none of these aroused his attention.

"Sasuke…didn't come back." He uttered softly. His eyes felt hot, tears welled up and threatened to fall. Naruto shook his head and wiped them. He remembered he had class this morning. "I guess I'll come back later."

But when Naruto turned his back to leave, he heard someone called him. A voice he knew so well.

"Naruto!!"

Naruto turned his body at the call, his heart suddenly raced. His eyes fell on a beautiful dark-haired man with two deep onyx eyes he longed to see. He couldn't believe his own eyes, Naruto thought he was hallucinating, an illusion so real, it made his heart jumped. He was sure it would disappear within seconds. But he didn't dare to avert his eyes.

But the illusion didn't vanish, instead it approached him closer. Until he was right in front of him. "Naruto," Ha called.

Naruto couldn't believe his ears. "Sa…suke? I thought you were…?"

"Suigetsu called me, he said you were waiting by my front door and won't leave. So I hurried back," He explained in rush, his eyes lingered at the blonde in front of him. "Naruto, why did you…?"

Naruto didn't hear his question. His eyes trailed to the Uchiha's clothes. They were soaked with sweat, his jeans were dirty, especially on the knees, there was some tinges of red on it. Sasuke's breaths were hoarse and short. It looked like he fell on his way here. He was running. And…and at what hour had Sasuke received Suigetsu's call, Naruto wondered, how far was Sasuke's family grave, that Sasuke had just arrived in such an early morning. All just to see Naruto.

Why?

"I was waiting for you." Naruto uttered softly, his head was down.

"Naruto…?"

Why did you do so much for me?

Then suddenly the blonde shot his head up, tears flowed from his misty blue eyes. "I've been waiting for you for three days, why didn't you tell me you were away? Why didn't you tell me where you were? Why didn't you at least tell me, of all people!?" He clutched Sasuke's front shirt, ignoring the shocked look Sasuke gave him. He didn't give a damn if people saw them. He didn't care if they saw him crying.

Why do you love me?

"What is wrong with you!?" Naruto screamed aloud. "You suddenly confessed to me, then the next thing, you told me to forget everything. How in the world could I do that!? How can I just forget everything? Did you think I was so heartless? Did you think I would downright reject you without a consideration? Did you think I would ignore your feelings? You're my best friend, for God's sake!" Naruto clutched at Sasuke's coat so hard, he tore the dark fabric.

Why do I feel hurt whenever I see you looking so lonely?

"And just because you've been caught red-handed, you withdrew and disappeared without telling me. Don't you know how horrible I felt? You're so damn selfish!" Naruto screamed hoarsely.

I don't understand!

Naruto began coughing, his throat felt worse than before, and his lung was screaming for air. He let his body relaxed as he panted harshly, his headache worsened, and his stomach spun. Above it all, he felt embarrassed. His face was burning.

"Naruto," He heard Sasuke called him. Two warm hands touched his damp cheeks and led it up. Naruto saw those beautiful deep onyx eyes were staring at him.

"I'm sorry, please don't cry. I'm sorry." He kissed each of Naruto's eyelids. Then he brought his arms to embrace the blonde's waist, holding him close.

"You were waiting for me." Sasuke said. His voice was shaking, as did his hands and body. It made Naruto's chest ached. "I'm so happy."

Sasuke, you idiot, why are you shaking…?

Naruto felt his heart raced as he buried his face against Sasuke's broad chest. He felt his tears were absorbed by the fabric. "Don't leave me again…" He uttered softly, clutching at the torn front.

"I won't. I promise I won't leave without telling you anymore." Sasuke said gently, "I love you, Naruto. Do you…?"

Naruto didn't reply right away. He still hadn't wholly understood. He didn't understand his own feelings, did he love Sasuke, or was it just a platonic feeling because Sasuke was his friend? He didn't know.

"I…don't know." He replied truthfully. "I don't know yet, I don't know if I love you, or this is just a brotherly feeling, but…" Naruto trailed on his words.

"It's okay. I'll wait until you know." Sasuke said as he brought a hand to caress the blonde's cheek. He trailed his hand to Naruto's chin gently. "Naruto…can I kiss you?"

A blush appeared on Naruto's face, but he didn't say no. Sasuke took it as yes.

Slowly, he leaned in. Sasuke trailed kisses on Naruto's golden hair, to his forehead, his brows, his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, and finally…his lips.

"I love you, Naruto." Sasuke whispered in his ears, his hand was shaking. "I really love you."

Naruto didn't reply.

Somewhere in his heart, he knew he had fallen in love with Sasuke too.

But he won't tell. Not yet.

Loveless, End

By Deep Flower

14.08.08.