AN: First contribution to CG fandom, and absolutely not my best, since this was written for LJ CG kink meme. I thought I should post this here, too, since I spent some real efford on this. Here is the prompt:

"Suzaku/Lelouch (in that order, aka Mrs. Kururugi Lelouch, although he's still a guy!)

Kink: Rough sex/Marital rape/Imprisonment. Suzaku is a jealous and possessive husband who locks Lelouch up in their home. Bonus points if there are mini Suzakus and Lelouchs running around the house, but not at the time of the rape! Wouldn't want to traumatize them... Could add sweet, gentle make up sex after that if you want to??

Am I requesting too many kinks? ;; "

Warning: As you can see, Non-Con -Rape, Severely AU, married gay ppl with children, OOC, Angst.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

-

Desecrate You

Whole night Lelouch had the distinct feeling of being watched. His every movement, every smile, every gesture of his hand, every motion of his body was followed as if he was under the watchful gaze of a predator. He knew, though, to whom those eyes belonged.

He was talking with some of his acquaintances exchanging polite pleasantries, and sometimes much more hearty words and laughs with his close friends. He was bent on getting all of the social interaction he could while his husband's mode was a little bit more relaxed. He hardly had any chance to keep up with his once upon a time so stuffed social agenda. Nowadays, after the birth of their second child, he was practically trapped in his own home. Not that he was fed up with being the dutiful mother to his two children; Rurushu, now a three years old boy and Suzuko, his little one year old daughter...

Things were not like this after the birth of his son. Gradually, day by day, Suzaku - the owner of that burning glare- became a possessive father and husband. At the beginning, Lelouch was expected to be at home before Suzaku. Then, Suzaku insisted that he should quit his job and devote himself to their new born son. Lelouch resisted at first, claiming that he had every right to work as however he wanted and earn his own money. But after endless hours of slaving himself to finish never-ending projects and be a good mother to Rurushu, he fell sick and found himself complying to Suzaku's offer, since his stamina failed him miserably. He continued working at home, with his many computers in his own design room, barely going out with Suzaku let alone thinking of going out by himself.

At first he didn't complain. There was his work and his treasure little Rurushu to keep him busy... And Suzaku was so sweet to him, meeting his every demand and whim, making him feel loved and cherished. He was so happy. Yet after he realized that their family will grow yet again, Suzaku started to show signs of over protectiveness. He was insisting that the time Lelouch spent on his design projects was making him stressful and ill tempered. He was complaining that Rurushu was just as skinny as his mother and sickly looking. He declared that he couldn't let his second child suffer from this stress and negligence, too...

Lelouch cringed as he remembered. Suzaku claimed that he was incapable of looking after himself and his children. So, before the birth of Suzuko, they had their first serious fight. Suzaku was furious, he was blaming Lelouch for his low stamina, for not taking care of himself and the baby he carried, for not raising Rurushu properly into a healthy, strong boy, for forgetting himself in his damn projects and for his frequent absence from the house... Wasn't his overly handsome income enough to provide a carefree life for Lelouch? Shouldn't Lelouch be more attentive to his husband, children and home instead of missing his old ways of life?

Lelouch didn't agree of course... It was a lucky evening that little Rurushu was at his grandparents' and didn't witness how his kaa-chan and tou-san broke several things in the house as they yelled at each other.

Was being physically weak his fault? Moreover, Suzaku was the one who wanted another baby so soon... Rurushu taking after his mother's slim figure was his fault? Was wanting some fresh air in a park or meeting his friends with his son a fault? Was working and going after his dream as a designer a fault?

Suzaku was slowly turning into a tyrant of sorts. Those deep forest green eyes of his were easily narrowing down lately. He was blatantly expressing his distaste on Lelouch's insistent behavior to continue his designer's job every single time he could. Harsh words were becoming abundant and they were frequently quarreling with loud voices. He was getting angry quickly whenever he caught Lelouch on the phone talking with their mutual friends or when he went out with them for a lunch. Their nightly activities became more frequent and somewhat more violent. Before, Suzaku had always been mindful of never leaving marks of their love making on Lelouch or hurting him. But these days he was becoming forceful and more demanding even when Lelouch was whimpering in his arms, whispering shakily that he couldn't take another round.

It was as if Suzaku was making sure that Lelouch would never even have the strength to take a step out of their house. He was monopolizing Lelouch, he was even trying to dominate his mind as the way he claimed Lelouch's body every night.

This was too much and Suzaku's unhealthy state of mind becoming a thread for the continuation of their happiness.

Shaking himself out of his own thoughts, Lelouch looked up and gazed around the people who were having fun. Tonight was Kallen's birthday. Since she was their mutual friend for a long time, Suzaku agreed to take him to her party. But he didn't even utter a word on the way. They left Rurushu and Suzuko to Lelouch's sister Nunally. As Lelouch kissed his brown haired, green eyed son, Rurushu was playing with his sister, saying that they would have fun with their sweet auntie.

His gaze met Suzaku's. He was hawking him as usual as he did on this kind of occasions. Though Lelouch was angry with him, deep down inside, he couldn't help but remind himself that Suzaku was looking absolutely breath taking in his black suit with an air of distance in his emerald eyes. He was talking with one of his colleagues, a man named Gino. They were looking at him, Suzaku with an unreadable expression, Gino with mirth. The young man was draping an arm on Suzaku's shoulder while Suzaku was pointedly ignoring the gesture.

Suzaku simply glanced at his watch. Lelouch knew what it meant; time to go.

After they gave Kallen her gift and congratulated her and bid their goodbyes, they left in their own car. Nunally was kind enough to offer to look after her nephew and niece until tomorrow afternoon, so they would be alone in their huge house.

Suzaku was not talking. Lelouch resentfully ignored him by looking out of the window at the city lights. So he was on it again. Lelouch wondered if there was a small fight awaiting him at home.

Yet, the fight was not small at all...

As soon as they got in from the front door, Suzaku shut the door with a loud bang. Lelouch suppressed an exasperated sigh. He didn't even turned around, instead he simply started to climb the ladders to the second floor to go to their bedroom. He was sick of this repeating drama.

"Where are you going, Lelouch?" Suzaku asked as he discarded his jacket and popped a few buttons on his dress shirt.

Leouch didn't budge to answer, instead he continued to ascend. Keep silent... Keep silent...

"I said..."

But he snapped quickly. "What does it look like? To the bedroom, of course!"

"We need to talk." Suzaku was following him upstairs, there was an ill contained anger in his voice.

Lelouch passed a few rooms and stopped by their bedroom door.

"No, I think you need to rant and want me to listen." He opened the door but didn't have time to get in. Suzaku quickly blocked his way with his arm. Lelouch turned his face to him with a displeased look and took a step back.

"What now?" He knew his manner was harsh and left no room for reaching a compromise to spend the remaining of the night without a major event, but he felt on edge and Suzaku seemed intolerable at the moment.

"I hope you had your fun, Lelouch, because you won't be stepping outside until I say otherwise."

Lelouch felt his violet eyes widen with disbelief and immediately narrow down with fury.

"Says the tyrant..." he spat as he tried to pry away the arm that was blocking his path.

Suzaku was not relenting, he was regarding Lelouch with equal distaste and anger.

"Are you not aware that all the people present there was watching you like watching a dessert?"

That again...

"All I was aware was your glare... You were the only one who was burning holes in my head as if the moment your eyes leave me you think I will run away..."

"Are you this blind?" Suzaku was directly in front of him now, mere inches away. His eyes were stormy as he run a hand through his messy brown locks in disbelief. Then he stopped. A devilish smile full of accusation filled his lips slowly as if in dawning realization.

"Or maybe you are an attention whore and like the way men and women flirt with you in front of your husband..."

A surprised gasp escaped Lelouch's lips, his eyes full of hurt and disgust he felt upon Suzaku's remark.

"You are out of your mind." he said slowly, his voice raspy with an emotion he couldn't identify. Suzaku never degraded him like this before.

"You drunk too much, didn't you? I can't stand here for you to call me names. Get out of my way and go clear your head."

"No..." Suzaku took a step towards him, his voice escalating in volume.

"I won't let you meet anyone. You won't go out unless to your parents, and that's with me... You will quit your sorry excuse of a job and then just be a good wife and mother!"

Even though Lelouch was trying his all to not back away, he felt fear building in his chest, climbing on the feelings of hurt and anger.

"I am not your concubine, I am your wife!" He was yelling and backing away from Suzaku. His whole being was shaking. Was this person before him really Suzaku?

"I am not a toy for you to fuck and then lock away whenever you like! Have you gone crazy? Suzaku, are you even yourself? Do you hear what the hell you're saying, realize how you are looking at me?"

There was a cold, distant light in Suzaku's eyes, his skin was glistening with a fine sheen of sweat and he was smiling a winner's smile, a sadistic, accusing look on his face. He was the portrait of what was contrary to his usual self.

"How am I looking at you?" He asked with a voice mockingly seductive. Lelouch felt a cold drop of sweat traveling down his spine.

"Isn't it the way you like being looked at? As if you are the sole thing to admire in the whole world... As if you crave for seeing the desires you stir in those strangers' eyes... You enjoy mocking me in front of those people, don't you? You flirted with everyone, man or woman, there... You laughed at their jokes, you let them embrace you, you let them touch you... Are you trying to say that you are available to anyone, even though you are married to me?"

Lelouch saw red. He didn't even register how he closed the distance between them and slapped Suzaku across his cheek so hard that he drew blood. He was seething between ragged breaths, his eyes on the verge of tearing.

Suzaku just stood in front of him, wavy bangs covering his eyes, lower lip bleeding sluggishly. Both were panting hard and slightly trembling with rage.

"That's it..." Lelouch rasped. "I am not partaking in this madness anymore."

He willed his laden feet to move and turned back to get into another room and lock himself up, intend on not leaving there until Suzaku came for him, begging for forgiveness. This night was a disaster. He knew trying to rationalize with Suzaku in the young man's current state was impossible. He just wanted to curl up somewhere and get the aching in his chest out before it suffocated him.

Suddenly he felt movement behind him and thought that Suzaku was not finished with his insults. Just as he was turning his head to him to say go away, his wrist was caught and he felt himself being dragged backwards towards their bedroom. He yelped with surprise and tried to free his wrist.

"What... Suzaku! Stop this nonsense!"

Suzaku kicked the door open and practically threw Lelouch into the room.

"Not so easy... I am not taking this shit anymore! You need to learn a lesson."

The door was locked and lights were turned on. Under the soft illumination, Suzaku's face was like that of a murder in cold blood. Lelouch backed away despite himself.

"Open the door, Suzaku..." He tried to be calm.

"So that you can return to your so called friends and continue your shameless flirting? No..."

"Do you know what you are insinuating? Don't you understand what you are telling me?"

"Oh, yes..."murmured Suzaku as he stalked his way towards him. "I am telling you that you are a slut."

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

Lelouch was yelling, in fear, in fury, in disgust. How did things go downhill like this? How could the man he loved and married call him like this?

"I won't! That's what you are! You need to be reminded to whom you belong. You need to be reminded who loves you the most! You don't need anyone but me! I own you, Lelouch! You are mine!"

In a blur of colours Lelouch's world slipped and swam violently and he found himself trapped between the bed and Suzaku's larger form. He started to struggle on instinct and tried to get free. Suzaku was leaning all of his body weight on him. His heart was hammering in his chest and the more he struggled the more he felt trapped. His mind couldn't grasp the situation he was in fully. All he could think was to get away somehow from Suzaku before he did something which would scar their relationship deeply.

Suzaku was dragging him across the bed by his wrists. His grip was vice-like and his mind bent on taking what he wanted from Lelouch whilst he taught him a lesson. When he released his wrists he simply ripped open his shirt, buttons flying everywhere. Panic and fear clouded Lelouch's mind as his stingy eyes tried to get a bearing of what was happening to him. Everything was too fast, he couldn't even utter a single word, his eloquent speech failing him. When Suzaku stopped, Lelouch realized that his wrists were tied to the bed post with his shirt.

"What... What are you..." His voice was trembling, finally realization hit him hard. Suzaku was... Suzaku was going to...

Suzaku took a couple of satisfied breaths as he loomed over Lelouch's body.

"Shhh, love... You need a lesson... And what better teacher you need than your husband?" he whispered leaning in. Lelouch went rigid, eyes ablaze with disbelief. He quickly turned his head away.

"No!" Suzaku whispered roughly, one of his hands wounding itself into Lelouch's black tresses, forcefully turning his head to face him.

"You need to look at me, love."

Lelouch gasped with the pain on his head and struggled with his legs, but his open lips were claimed quickly. The kiss was rough, their teeth clashed, Suzaku's tongue invaded his mouth. He tasted of alcohol and blood. His head started to swim as he struggled to break the kiss to gasp for a tiny bit of air, his lungs burning.

Suzaku pried his legs open and settled his weight between them. Lelouch was frail. The more his thin body tried to struggle the more it accelerated Suzaku's excitement. He was trembling helplessly under him, his eyes shut tightly, his mouth passive.

Lelouch couldn't think, he wanted to yell, wanted to cry, wanted to get away. He felt the unmistakable hardness of Suzaku's erection on his tight. His other hand roaming on his naked side and chest possessively. When the brutal kiss was broken he gasped for air, his chest heaving miserably.

"S-stop... Please, Suzaku, stop..."

His trembling voice was ignored as Suzaku started to kiss his jaw wetly. His mouth moved to Lelouch's ear as he gave an experimental trust of his hips.

"But we just began the lesson, Lelouch..." He answered, voice husky and full of need. He licked the shell, breathing on the wet skin. Lelouch shivered as Suzaku mouthed his ear lobe, biting on the soft skin.

Suzaku's mouth moved to his neck, all the while sucking on the perfect skin, relishing the hitching breaths near his ear. He practically mauled the skin like a wolf. Using his teeth, he inflicted a large bite mark just above Lelouch's pulse, hearing his hoarse scream of pain and tasting blood. He lathed on the abused flesh until it felt raw to the touch. He was branding him for world to see.

Lelouch was sobbing softly.

"Such nice sounds, all for me..."

He kissed his collarbone and sucked on the hollow point at the base of Lelouch's neck. It was delicious... The sweat, the blood, the unique taste of what was Lelouch... He continued trusting into the unwilling body under him feeling Lelouch's flesh harden.

"You're enjoying this, hmmm?"

Lelouch was still squirming desperately. The touches alternating between brutal and soft in mere seconds making his mind slowly shut. He felt ashamed, betrayed by his own body. He was getting raped by his beloved Suzaku and he was enjoying it for crying out loud. He felt disgusting. His eyes were dilated, shiny with tears, his face flushed with the effort he was exerting and with the shame, mouth dry, lips puffy...

He felt Suzaku biting on one of his nipples and pinching the other to the point of making it bleed. He was begging now in uncontrolled sobs.

"Stop...Stop...Suzaku..."

"Not until you understand that you are mine and mine only..."

Suzaku's voice was unrecognizable. His breath and tongue upon his wet skin was scorchingly hot. His hands were like molten whips of lava; everywhere he touched became alive with burning nerves. It hurt oh so painfully to be forced to feel like this.

His pants button was ripped off as Suzaku tore away them from his slim hips. The fabric grazed his sensitive flesh painfully.

Suzaku leaned away a little bit to look at him in the eye. It was unfair of Lelouch to look so beautiful, for making him burning with jealousy... He was ethereal even in his misery, even when he was begging with him to stop with that divine voice of his.

"Do you have any idea how you drive me crazy, Lelouch?"

Lelouch whimpered as Suzaku raked his nails on his hips, leaving angry red marks on the soft skin. His hands travelled downwards and caressed the moist flesh of his inner tights.

"Suzaku..." It was a breathless plea. Suzaku was watching him with those eyes again, licking his lips. When he started to stroke his half hard flesh into fullness, Lelouch couldn't help but arch his back with a hiss, turning his head away, trying to hide his shame.

"Everything is your fault, Lelouch..." Suzaku was watching his every reaction as if hypnotised.

"You are guilty of showing off your mesmerizing smiles to others, you are guilty of letting others touch this velvety skin... You are guilty of looking at others with those oh so violet eyes... " He was panting the words in time with his strokes, feeling his erection harden painfully at the sight Lelouch presented.

"They all belong to me... Not to others... " When his other hand freed himself from his pants he leaned in again, bending Lelouch's legs on his shoulders.

As Lelouch understood what was coming next, he tried to kick away, tried to free himself from his bond with all his might. But Suzaku ruthlessly plunged himself forward, tearing a shrill cry of utter pain from him.

For a moment Lelouch couldn't even see even though his eyes were wide open. Everything went black as crippling, mind bending pain spread like a wildfire across his body. His throat went raw with his scream, drops after drops of tears fell from his eyes.

He took in a dry breath, hurting his lungs. He couldn't believe, couldn't think as he felt Suzaku bury himself to the hilt with no means of preparation or lubrication. Suzaku was panting near his ear. He was trembling, too.

Lelouch thought that he could just faint and his misery would end there but Suzaku slowly drew back only to slam into him with barely contained force. Seeing Lelouch's hardness quickly shrinking away, he grasped it in his hand and began to stroke in rhythm with the push of his hips.

Lelouch was hyperventilating. He couldn't even find enough breath to sob, his tears falling freely. What was this? How could this happen to them? How could Suzaku do this to them? He loved this man with all he got, yet why was he punishing him, degrading him, using him like this?

"Lelouch..." He heard him say as if from somewhere far away.

"Lelouch, look at me..." He couldn't breathe...

No longer because of the receding pain, but because he couldn't remember how. His mind was slipped away from the reality of the moment. He was feeling pleasure. It was building rapidly, claiming his exhausted body. It was wrong, to feel like this... Such a sick person he was... To feel satisfaction on being raped by his loved one... He must have been really really bad... For making Suzaku to do this to him... He must have been such an awful person, how could Suzaku love him? Right, he didn't deserve any better...

"Lelouch, look at me!" Was Suzaku's voice breaking? Why?

He felt warm lips land on his own, stopping his already meagre breathing. His panic stricken heart seemed to fly out of his rib cage. Suzaku's eyes were before him. So green, he thought. So wonderfully green...

Suzaku was kissing him again, desperately. All he could do was focusing on that sensation since he couldn't escape from the pleasure he shouldn't feel. Lips left his own and he breathed. Another soft kiss, another breath, and then another kiss... Movement never ceasing, as if it was now beyond the control of their bodies.

Without understanding how, Lelouch felt his muscles go stiff and experienced his orgasm as if he was not in his body. He felt Suzaku shudder, too... Another kiss, another breath...

He felt sick, dizzy and dirty. He angered Suzaku but Suzaku made love to him? Made him feel like this?

When his sight got better he saw tan shoulders shaking violently. His lower half of body was slowly laid down on the mattresses. Suzaku's brown mop of hair tickled his nose. His binding was undone quickly. His throbbing hands were pressed against Suzaku's face.

He started to cry. Suzaku was being so gentle with him.

"Suzaku?" he whispered voice like sand. He couldn't tell if it was he himself who was talking. He felt Suzaku's still hard flesh sliding out of his bloodied passage.

Suzaku moved aside from over him and raised his head and when Lelouch saw the tears traveling down those green, green eyes, his eyes went wide.

Suddenly, as if a mist was lifted off of his mind he got out of his trance and reality crashed at him. He was hyperventilating on the verge of losing consciousness, and Suzaku stopped and helped him breath again, his voice broke because he was crying... Becuse Suzaku was raping him.

"Lelouch..." Suzaku wailed just like a child who was lost.

Lelouch didn't even have the strength to say anything. He just closed his eyes on his tears. He slowly turned away from him and curled up around himself.

He wondered what kind of a messy hell they were in now, as he fell asleep listening to Suzaku's sobs.

-

TBC...