A Bedtime Story As Told By Axel

Roxas wakes up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep, so he wakes Axel up to tell him a bedtime story. Slight AxelRoxas, One-Shot

Inspiration? Uh, boredom, I guess. I was reading the fic 'Storytime with Riku' and thought it was really cute.

Disclaimer

The Kingdom Hearts characters do not belong to me. They belong to Square Enix and the Walt Disney Company.

Anyone who doesn't belong in Kingdom Hearts belongs to me.

Key

"Word" Talking

'Thought' Thinking

"Nngh…." Roxas tossed and turned on his bed, futilely trying to get back to sleep.

That darn Demyx made such a racket when he had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, it was a surprise Xenmas hadn't yelled at the water user. He was pretty sure everyone in the Castle That Never Was was also having the same problem as he was.

There was a loud snore at the other end of the bedroom. Scratch that, everyone except Axel.

Axel could have slept through a marching band, even if you blew a trumpet in his ear. Yes, Axel was a very strong sleeper. Of course, if you knew the right tricks, he was actually very easy to wake up.

For several more minutes Roxas tried to sleep, but between the hot bed sheets and Axel's loud snoring, it proved impossible. And whenever sleep was impossible for him, a bed time story was the best remedy for him.

Roxas lay still, thinking who would tell him a mind-pleasing story at this unearthly hour.

Not Larxene, that's for sure. If he woke her up, she would electrocute him without question.

Demyx was another, he might accidentally drown Roxas.

Xenmas was a definite no, after all, he was the leader, and the leader was simply not disturbed in the middle of the night, or during the day for that matter.

HE decided that it would be best if he woke up Axel. After all, he had woken the pyromaniac lots of times, and, after he had gotten past the burn Roxas to bits part, was actually quite pleasant.

Roxas got up out of bed and not so quietly tip-toed over to Axel's bed.

"Axel…" He said, nudging the red head.

There was no response as he continued to sleep.

"Aaaxel, wakey, wakey!" Roxas nudged the sleeping man again.

Still no response, except for a particularly loud snore.

Roxas sighed, and then in an overdramatic voice, "Oh my gosh! Axel! Somone's eating toast, and it's not burnt!"

"ARGH!" Axel leaped up and blasted the surrounding area with a ring of fire. Roxas, used to this reaction, neatly dodged. "Glad you're up." Roxas hopped onto the bed, getting down on his knees.

Axel looked at Roxas funny, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. "Roxas, why did you wake me up?"

"I want you to tell me a bedtime story." Roxas said brightly.

Axel glanced at his (fire-proof) alarm clock and scowled. "It's 1:37 in the morning, Roxas. Why do you want a story now?" He sounded quite unhappy.

"Because I'm having trouble getting to sleep." The XII member answered.

"You were asleep when I went to bed." Axel pointed out.

"Yes, but then Demyx woke me up." Roxas said. "And now I can't get back to sleep. So I want you to tell me to a story.

Axel squinted at Roxas, trying to decide if this was really happening. "Why not go to Marluxia?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Because Marluxia would have either strangled me with his plants or cut me in half with his scythe."

"Good point." The red head said. "Fine, I'll tell you a story, but only one!"

Roxas squealed with delight and bounded back over to his bed, Axel following behind him.

Roxas got under the covers and pulled the sheets up tight against his chest, an old teddy-bear tucked into the crook of his arm.

Axel sat down on the edge of the bed. "Alright, Roxas, I'm going to tell you a very special story. It has been passed down from generation to generation of a very noble family, and it ended up in our library."

"Go on!" The younger boy urged.

"Give me a moment!" Axel snapped. "I need to remember it all…okay, here we go."

Once upon a time there was a family of four, a mother, father, son, and daughter. The mom's name was Cindy Le Monsterfood, the–

"What kind of last name is Monsterfood?" Roxas asked. "That doesn't make any sense!"

Axel sighed, irritated. "This is just a story, Roxas. There's always something that doesn't make sense. Now listen."

Roxas nodded.

As I was say, the mom's name was Cindy Le Monsterfood, the dad's name was John Le Monsterfood, the sons name was Derick Le Monsterfood, and the girls name was Suzie Le Monsterfood. One-

"Why do all their names have 'Le' in them?" Roxas interrupted.

Axel twitched. "Because. That's just the way the story is. I didn't write it. Now shut up and listen, no more interruptions!"

"Alright, fine!" Roxas cluched his ever faithful teddy tighter to himself.

One night little Suzie Le Monsterfood was fast asleep when something dark and scary came into her room. The next morning came around, and all that was left was a pile of bones.

The next night Derick Le–

"Wait a minute." Roxas interrupted the story once again.

"What now?" Axel asked.

"Wouldn't the other Monsterfoods freak out about that? I mean, I would freak out if Saix suddenly disappeared and all that was left of her was a pile of bones." Roxas said.

Axel smacked his forehead. "Do you want me to tell you the story or not?"

"But-"

"Roxas!"

"Fine." The boy pouted.

Now let's continue.

The next night Derick Le Monsterfood was having a restless sleep when something dark and scary came into his room. The next morning, all that was left of Derick Le Monsterfood was a pile of bones.

The night afterwards, John Le Monsterfood couldn't sleep at all when-

"Hold on a minute!" Roxas cried.

Axel gritted his teeth, a mixture of a smile and a grimace on his face. "What is it now Roxas?"

"If John Le Monsterfood and Cindy Le Monsterfood were a mom and dad, wouldn't they be married and be sleeping in the same bed?" Asked Roxas.

Axel sighed. "Roxas, I don't have answers to everything."

"No," Roxas said, "but you're avoiding most of my questions. Just answer it this once! Pleeeeaaase?"

"Fine! He was sleeping in the guest bedroom because his wife had a twenty-four hour cold and didn't want to catch it, alright! Let's continue!"

The blonde nodded, satisfied.

Anyways, John Le Monsterfood couldn't sleep at all when something dark and scary entered his room. The next morning, all that was left of John Le Monsterfood was a pile of bones.

The fina- What is it now Roxas?

Roxas had opened his mouth to say something, but Axel shot a terrifying glare his way.

HE quickly closed his trap and shrank back into the covers.

Ahem.

The final night, Cindy Le Monsterfood was wide awake when something dark and scary entered her room. The next morning, all that was left of the dark and scary thing was a pile of bones. From then on she was known as Cindy Le NotMonsterFood.

The End

"Happy now?" Axel asked.

Roxas nodded, but frowned. "I'm not very tired though."

Axel twitched, and suddenly his face turned to one of extreme terror. Roxas blinked in confusion.

"Oh my gosh! It's the dark and scary thing! It's right behind you! Oh no, it's going to eat you –AAAAAH!" He shouted.

Roxas freaked. "AIEEE!" He screamed like a little girl, with eyes wide and high pitched voice. The sound reverberated throughout the entire castle. He fell into a dead faint, flopping down onto his bed.

Axel roared with laughter, falling off the bed onto his hands and knees, holding his sides.

Over the din Xenmas roared, "SHUT UP! WE'RE TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP HERE!" This was followed by several angry curses, compliments of Larxene.

Several minutes later Axel got his laughter under control and headed back to his bed, where he snuggled deep under his covers, smiling contentedly.

Just as he was about to drift off to dream land though, he was once again interrupted.

"Axel." Said red head looked at the speaker.

"Vexen, what the hell do you want?" Axel growled.

Vexen twiddled his thumbs. "Well, after Roxas screamed, I couldn't get back to sleep…so I was hoping you would…tell me a bed time story."

Axel groaned. "Not again!"

The story with the Monsterfood family was actually taken from one of my crack fics involving me and my classmates, and thus, belongs to me.

This was my first Kingdom Hearts story, so some feedback would be nice.

Constructive Criticism and Compliments welcome. Flames and Spammers will be laughed at.

Tropi