Hello all, my first Warhammer fanfiction ever. Reviews please, constructive criticsm is appreciated!

A Guardsman's Diary

Guardsman Matt Evans of the 888th Khavarian Rifles

About the regiment: Khavarian Rifles have no qualms about recruiting younglings into their ranks. Everyone on Khavar is expected to serve the Emperor without hesitation, even children. The irony of this, however, by a freak policy of the governor is that children are brought up in safe, happy lives with no mention of anything related to war until they are inducted into the Guard.

Day 1

Hooray! I have just been accepted into the Guard. My training begins tomorrow. Mommy got me this pretty diary to write my thoughts in. My mommy says it's good for me. I know it is true, everything my mommy says is good.

Had lunch of beef, rice and a few potatoes. Very yummy. My mommy cooked that as well, it tastes really nice. Daddy kept saying he was really proud of me. I am celebrating my birthday later on. It is my 10th birthday today. Am very happy, will have a nice cake to eat later on and Tim is coming over to play.

My birthday party went well. Tim didn't play much though. Tim is 12, he joined the Guard when he was 10 (just like me!!) and has seen 2 years in service of the Emperor. We all respect Tim very much. Tim used to be very jolly and made many good jokes. He made me laugh a lot. Tim is probably the second nicest person after my daddy and my mommy. Tim looked emotionless this time. He was dull and seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Oh well. My mommy says he is older now, therefore more reclusive. I do not know why, but I do not ask. Everything my mommy says is right.

Day 2

Got my uniform today. It feels comfortable but it does not look nice at all. The uniform has three colours, green, brown and black. The colours look like it has been splotched on at random. I do not understand why. Next I have a rectangular box thing which goes over my uniform. It feels the same as my uniform and a bit stiffer than my uniform. What is the point of wearing this if there is not much difference from the uniform? It is not comfortable either. I also have a soup bowl. At least, it looks like a soup bowl, except that the big adults who gave me my stuff said I have to put it on my head. Why do I have to wear a soup bowl on my head? I wish I could ask mommy, but mommy is not here. I miss my mommy.

Met up with my group today. There were nearly 30 of us and I got to know three, Johan, Lily and Brennigan. Johan and Lily are my new friends. They are the same age as me and are very friendly. I like them and I think mommy would like them as well. Brennigan, however, is mean. He hit me in the face, saying I look like a "gretchin". What does gretchin mean? I do not know. I really wish mommy was here now. She would scold the meanie badly.

Met a new adult. He is an ever bigger meanie than Brennigan. He wears black and has many gold coins on his chest. He has a big knife, which I think is called a sword and has a shiny thing which spat fire at a wall and put a hole in it. We all became quiet after that. He told us that he was a comisuh. I do not know what that means. My mommy would scold him badly for being so mean as well. He said he would assign us a veteran to train us and let us write home once a month. I really really miss my mommy now. She seems so far away.

Day 43

Have not been able to write as I am very busy. Mommy would be sad to see what I have to go through. We have obstacle course training every morning. Brennigan takes every opportunity to take me down. He is a big meanie. He even tripped me when I was carrying my mess tray. My food fell on the floor and the comisuh made me clean it all up. When I did finish cleaning, he purposely threw the mess down on the floor and asked me to clean up again. After I did he made me eat nothing but bread for the rest of the week. I don't like the man.

Also have runs and Imperial studies in the afternoon. Runs are ok although studies are better. We are all in awe of the Adeptus Astartes, although I got scolded badly by the teacher for mistyping 'Adepta Astartes'. What's wrong with that? However, I could see our officer suppressing a chuckle. The teacher was angry, the officer was happy and I was confused. Then we have prayer in the evening. We have to worship the Emperor but I always think of mommy.

We all like the officer. He looks after us like daddy and I often see what looks like pity in his eyes. Why does he pity us? Is it not an honour to be in the Guard? In any case, he is nice to us and looks after us. Mommy would like him very much. He is commanding, although not harshly like the comisuh and he does not punish us badly when we do bad things. We all like him very much. He said he was Sergeant Merholt.

I decided yesterday to tell commissur about Brennigan. I did not want to tell Merholt as he would not have done much to Brennigan, after which Brennigan would hurt me even more. Commissur scolded me badly, he said that such people would only make me stronger. I said that my mommy would scold him badly. He said he would kill my mommy if she said such things to him. I do not understand what is kill but it does not sound nice. However he said he would punish Brennigan as he needs to display his power anyway. I don't understand what he means.

Day 44

Brennigan is not with us. Commissur dragged him onto a podium in front of all of us. He said that Brennigan did not respect the others in his group. Commissur took out his shiny thing and pointed it at Brennigan's head. Fire spat out of it and a hole appeared on the other side of Brennigan's head. The hole was red and had some white and grey stuff among it. Brennigan fell down on the ground and did not move anymore. I do not know what happened but it did not look good. Red stuff was pooling around his head. Merholt looked like he was about to hurt the commissur.

Merholt told us we would have weapons training tomorrow. He said a weapon was to fight and kill. I asked him what was kill. He said to kill was to remove life by various means like shooting. I asked him what was shooting. He considered for a moment, then said it was like what the commisur had done to Brennigan. I stayed quiet, but in my mind I realised what I had done. I realised that I had told the commisur about Brennigan and so the commissur had shooted Brennigan and therefore killed him and therefore removed his life.

I had killed Brennigan.

Please note that several spelling errors in the chapter are intended such as the mispelling of 'Commissar' as 'comisuh' or 'commissur' to simulate a 10 year old boy writing this.