April 17, 2009 -- "If Only I Would Wake"

Minato finally woke up! We're going to formally ask him to join us tomorrow night.

Come to think of it, Minato has the same power as Camellia Rossi, Setsuna's mother. Only a lot stronger. In fact, Minato has by far the strongest potential we've ever seen. It's all over the map.

I talked to Setsuna today. Not about Personas, of course, but about the project. We agreed to meet after school tomorrow. I normally have boxing practice, but of course I can't go with my injuries.

Last time I spoke with her was when she and Shinji woke up in the hospital after they summoned their Personas for the first time.

We explained the situation with the shadows, the Dark Hour, and SEES to both Shinji and Setsuna. Shinji immediately became lost in thought.

Setsuna made her decision immediately: a firm no. "My father would disapprove of me going out after midnight."

"You'd have to live in the Iwatodai Dorm," Mitsuru explained. "It would not be his place to say."

Setsuna responded curtly. "He wouldn't allow me to live with boys."

"The boys and girls are housed on separate floors," Mitsuru said. "And if anyone bothers you, I'll see that they are 'executed.' Rossi...your mother, Camellia, was not only my teacher. My own mother is rather distant and cold. But Camellia was warm and loving. We would talk for hours after my lessons were over. She spoke very fondly of you. Said that she was going to introduce us someday. That we'd get along like real sisters. I'd like to know what having a sister is like. " There was a tone of loneliness in Mitsuru's voice. I could tell she was being sincere.

"But our fathers are different," Setsuna responded. "There's a great gulf that separates a Catholic priest and the CEO of one of Japan's most powerful companies. I'm sure you know that."

"On the battlefield, those differences don't matter," Mitsuru continued. "There's nothing to fear. I'll protect you. Would you consider a trial period in SEES? And after learning to use your power, you can decide to join permanently or leave."

"I can't..." Setsuna said, wringing her hands. "I just want to wake up from this nightmare."

"Don't you want to honor your mother's wishes?" I asked. Wasn't it kind of selfish of her not to?

"I do. More than anything." Setsuna's mouth was a firm, thin line. "But until I know why my mother died, I want nothing to do with this...this...curse!"

"It isn't a curse," Mitsuru said. "It's...a blessing."

"Do you really believe that?" Setsuna asked. "When I woke up, I considered going to Father Brigham and having him exorcise me. But I knew it wouldn't work. Because the Persona is part of me. I hate it. I want it out of me!"

"Your mother was possessed by her Persona," I said. "That's why she died. We already explained that to you."

"No...that's how she died," Setsuna began. "It isn't why." She glared at me. "That thing Miki had...it was a Persona, wasn't it?"

"Yes," I said. "Alcestis, of the Temperance Arcana."

"She's dead, too." Tears welled up in Setsuna's eyes. "Miki was the only one who treated me like a normal person. She didn't freakify me, like you all are. 'I'm different', 'I'm special.' You just want my power. You don't care about me!"

"I know you're afraid," Mitsuru said. "But you're one of the few who can combat the Shadows."

Setsuna shook her head. "I just can't! I'm sorry."

"She doesn't want to do it," Shinji said, bringing the subject to a close. "Sorry, Kirijo. You're not gonna win this argument."

Mitsuru nodded. "I concur. We will honor your decision, Rossi. If you ever change your mind..." She took a piece of paper out of her skirt pocket and placed it on the nightstand. "That's the number you can reach the Chairman. Now, Aragaki..."

"I want to join," Shinji said abruptly.

Ikutsuki-san broke in. "I'm sorry to say that your potential isn't nearly as strong as Setsuna's."

"Yeah, but she's not joining," Shinji replied. "So you guys are stuck with me."

"Think about it," Mitsuru added. "If you cannot summon your Persona reliably, you'll most likely die."

"I've thought about it since I woke up," Shinji said. "I know how serious this is. The whole world is at stake. Ever since I was little, I've wondered about my role in this world. My father died of cancer in this very hospital. I never knew my mother. Aki and Miki were the only friends I had. Then Amarante reached out to me. She gave me something to hold on to. Something to protect. And now that I know I have this power, I can't just walk away. Please, let me answer to this...calling."

"I suppose it will be all right," Ikutsuki-san finally said. "As long as you agree to follow Mitsuru's directives at all times..."

"Yes," Shinji agreed. "I will. You can count on me, sir!"

"With the proper training, I'm sure we can make his potential stronger," I said. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Famous last words, I know.

But Shinji shouldn't just walk away. I know coming back is what's best for him. After all, I do know best.

Don't I?