Here it comes- a full-length edition of The Count's World. Where do Dimentio's loyalties lie? Will Count Bleck be able to redeem himself? Is Timpani forced to remain a pixl forever? Where are the Pure Hearts? And can a talking, dimension-hopping plant star in two fanfics at once without burning out?

Rated T, because I'm going to be a little looser with this one than the other ones. Someone probably dies, some people say some words… it's all good.

A cold wind blew through the Underwhere. The Shaydes didn't notice it. At one point or another, all of them had, but no more. They had been here for eternity, and they would remain there for eternity. Time and feelings had no meaning once you got to the Underwhere. And nobody cared about the wind.

Then, in the midst of the plaza, appeared Count Bleck. He was tall and confident today, as always, his clothes neat and pressed, carrying his cane upright and adjusting his monocle over his eye. He grinned grimly as he looked around at the mossy ground and skeletal trees that made up much of the landscape. The hills were not exactly rolling here, but the land was far from flat. He certainly didn't look out of place here- in fact, he looked like he was made to belong here.

"Nice place you've got here," said Count Bleck to no one in particular.

A nearby shade laughed at the irony. "Ha, you're funny. First time here in the Underwhere?"

"Actually, I've been here before," said Count Bleck.

The Shayde was caught off guard, but then he laughed again. "Oh, yeah! That's also funny! Like anybody ever comes here more than once. Once you're game's over, it's over."

"Actually, my game isn't over," said Count Bleck.

"Yeah, I heard that one before. Ha ha ha ha… denial. Or are you just being funny again? You remind me of me when I came here. But hey, if you need to hear it from Queen Jaydes herself, she's in the palace up the road. Don't expect to get there anytime soon, she's booked for the millennium."

"I know," said Count Bleck. "I have an appointment with her."

"Ha ha ha! Got on her calender? Nice one. No way, man."

"Really. We know each other."

"Ha ha ha! You're still funny!"

"I'm being serious."

"Look," and suddenly the Shayde wasn't jolly anymore, but cold and irritated. "Stop making me feel miserable, okay? Just go and let me believe we're not as pathetic as we really are."

"All right. Sorry to disturb you."

"Good to see you, Blumiere," said Queen Jaydes. "No, I said to put that over there—sorry, we're a bit swamped today."

No less than seven D-Men were swarming around Jaydes in her palace in the Underwhere, taking care of this and that and everything else in the world. Jaydes was barking at them, talking on her cell phone, and in between tried to talk to Count Bleck. He took a seat near her and waited for a spare moment. He was not pressed for time in the least.

"Look, Grams, I don't care what the other Nimbis are wearing, I do not want Luvbi to show up to—who's she going with, anyway? Hang on a sec, Grams. You! D-Man! Where are those papers on my pedigree Underchomp? I need them today!"

"Queen Jaydes, a message from Dorguy the First," said a D-Man, approaching her with a memo. "He's still holding out for more vacation days."

Jaydes snatched the memo from him and looked at it. "Great. Good. Fine. Granted. Get this mess out of here, and tell him he's got it. I'm too busy to deal with this right now."

She shook her head. "I swear, they all kick the bucket on Monday. Nobody wants their game to end on the weekend."

"Might I suggest a book in time management?" asked Count Bleck for a laugh.

Jaydes laughed bitterly. "Yeah, and when would I read it? That's the thing about this place, Blumiere, nobody's exempt from it. We're all in Hell."

"Well, I admire you for your work."

"Thanks for that, really." She turned to the D-Men. "All right, I need five minutes for this meeting. Can you do that for me? Go five minutes without bothering me?"

"Jaydes, you're going to be late for your—" a D-Man came up to her with an appointment book.

"I'm always late for everything," Jaydes interrupted. "It's how things roll down here. We're so far behind we haven't even turned the century yet. I'm having a meeting now, so don't interrupt me unless a void opens in the sky or Grams lets Luvbi buy that skirt. Got it?"

"Yes, Queen Jaydes!" came the chorus from the D-Men.

"Great."

She gestured for Count Bleck to follow her into a back room in her palace, a small macabre office-type setting. She closed the door behind him and slid down into a chair. "Ohh, my feet," she groaned. "I haven't gotten to sit down in a week."

"If you like, we could just relax here and say you had the meeting," suggested Count Bleck.

"No, no, a break this short would only make it harder to go back to work." She straightened up. "I can't wait for the Apocalypse," she added. "But who knows when that'll be? So, what did you want to ask me about?"

"Pure Hearts," said Count Bleck. "For Timpani. Tell me everything you know."

"Oh, that." Jaydes paused. "Why are you asking me about them?"

"You know about them, yes?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"Then just indulge me, please."

Jaydes shrugged. "Have it your way. It's very simple, actually. The Pure Hearts are bouncing around right now like… a Fuzzy in a coffee factory. With their original purpose fulfilled, they have nowhere to go, but are unable to fade away. If they pass strong feelings of love, they attach a part of themselves there. Like on Sherwood and Gary. A part of the Pure Hearts is living with them and protecting them. The actual Pure Hearts are all over the place."

"Do you know how I can harness them?"

"Express a lot of love," said Jaydes. "That, and pure dumb luck. Luck that one will pass you by during that expression. Honestly, it may never happen if things stay the way they are."

"That's actually a relief," said Count Bleck. "I thought to come here because I was afraid they might have dried up."

"Can't happen," said Jaydes. "Well, okay, it can happen, it has. But it's not permanent. Tell you what- if you find a dried out Pure Heart, come and get me, I'll fix it up for you. Can't your wife still detect them?"

"Yes, but she's not a divining rod. I can't just turn her out and she'll be able to find a Pure Heart."

"No, I suppose not."

Jaydes shifted in her seat. There was a silence, where each one was waiting for the other to say something.

Jaydes broke it first. "So, why me?" she asked casually. Curious, yes, but hardly deathly curious. "I mean, I know about these things, given my position and history and all… but why come all the way down here and jump through all those hoops to get a meeting with me when Merlon is just a stones throw from your dimension, not to mention other scholars easier to get to. Russ T., Beanbean University, Professor Frankly, who could have all told you what I just told you, if they did enough research and experimenting."

"I had something else I wanted to ask you."

Jaydes raised an eyebrow. She'd worked in the Underwhere long enough to know what was coming next. She let him ask it- it was the zillionth time she'd answered the question, but it was the first time he'd asked it.

"Will I be able to… redeem myself when my game ends?"

Jaydes shook her head. "Sorry, Blumiere, I can't tell you that. Not as long as you're still playing your game. It's strictly confidential."

Count Bleck shrugged. "All right," he said. "It was worth a shot." He spoke so casually, Jaydes had to look at him to see how crushed he was.

"Can I ask you something?" asked Jaydes.

"It's only fair," replied Count Bleck bitterly.

"You still go by Count Bleck, don't you?"

He paused. "Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because it would be too easy not to," replied Count Bleck. "It would be easy to say that Count Bleck pushed Blumiere away and took over, and now Blumiere's back… but life isn't that tidy. To change my name back would be to try and erase what I did, rather than deal with it and truly show I've changed. I did what I did and now I must live with it."

Jaydes nodded. "To you, does that sound like a sign of hope or a futile gesture?"

Count Bleck shrugged.

"Sleep on it," she said. "I'm not a therapist, but I want you to take that suggestion anyway."

"Perhaps later," said Count Bleck, standing up. "I have to go check on my minions now. I sent them on a mission, and something should be going comically wrong right about now."

"Great," said Jaydes. "It's back to work for me, then." She stood up, and groaned inwardly as she did. "I'm getting too old for this."

"You don't get old," said Count Bleck.

"That's the one thing I'd have going for me," she replied with tart humor. "Except I've been off the dating scene for twelve thousand years. Give or take."

"Well, I'll see you later."

"Sooner than you'd like, though," replied Jaydes with a smile.