It wasn't Saturday. It wasn't Sunday. The only tricky part was counting on Esmeralda to be dependable, and she only did that if you didn't depend on her. Gaetan realized how poor Frollo's security was now. Even she and Frollo were afraid of the cook, but she had the kitchen all to herself and it was easy to quietly walk past it and the cook, for all her ferocity, was none the wiser. If Phoebus managed this, the cook was hardly much of a security measure. Other than the cook, all that protected the house was a goat that would let anyone willing to abandon trash that resembled food even slightly past and a gypsy woman who was easily distracted by something shiny. Gaetan doubted her own worth as anything that could prevent strangers form wandering in. She couldn't be that feared, even with the death threats and attempts she'd received, could she?

Surprisingly, Esmeralda opened the door. Gaetan hadn't expected her to bother with so many chores.

"What's he done now?" Esmeralda asked, the second she realized who was at the door.

"Actually, I just came to get my things," Gaetan said

"So what are you going to do?" Esmeralda asked.

"I don't know. Momma wants me to get married, but I don't want to. Unless I marry a man of high rank, I won't be able to do anything I can't do now."

Esmeralda crossed her arms and glared at the kid.

"If I wanted to do that, I'd just take over momma's old job."

Esmeralda sighed, she had been defeated by someone almost half her age on the topic of romance. "What about that doctor?"

With current technology far behind the bicycle and Gaetan not knowing much about fish, her only option was to make a face and hope Esmeralda understood.

"What about one of the soldiers?"

"If I'm hired again, the difference in rank would be awkward," Gaetan said. "Besides, they'll all be busy now that Frollo has to do the work I used to… except for the work you have to do that I used to do."

"Busy?" Esmeralda asked. She'd finally gotten him to calm down and stop working long enough to have a pleasant sleep when it wasn't Saturday. "How busy?"

"You know how busy he was before I was hired? Busier than that, probably."

"You're coming with me!" Esmeralda stated, grabbing Gaetan's wrist and marching down the stairs.

"What for? I don't work for him anymore."

"We'll see about that. You're getting married whether you like it or not."

Gaetan smirked. Either things were going according to plan or Clopin was going to pay for bad advice.

For once Phoebus was not told the details of how things were changing. All he knew was that Frollo was taking charge of patrols and, given his attitude, presumably had sat on a nail.

By this time Phoebus had developed a certain strategy for dealing with the minister: shut up, do what he was told or at least fake doing so in a convincing manner, question nothing no matter how odd or uncomfortable things were, and do is best to stay out of sight when he needed someone to blame or speak of his married life. It did not make his job bearable, but he found that it was better than getting involved in anything beyond 'go here' or 'get him.'

His strategy wasn't working at all today. Frollo's irate gloom spread like some sort of emotional gangrene, causing fear and misery in its wake. Even Phoebus, who could find a way to keep up hope in the wake of Judgment Day by telling himself it meant he got the day off was feeling cynical and depressed over everything.

Frollo kept his captain close and worked long into the end of the day, finally giving up when he admitted it was too dark to patrol unless there was an emergency, although in truth it was because Esmeralda had come to tell him to come home.

Frollo's sour mood had affected him to the point that Phoebus, a man who could be corrected about math by his horse, knew things weren't over. There was another shoe, just waiting to drop on his head.

Lo and behold: he was finally right about things; Clopin bolted out of an alley as he was passing it, angering his horse and impressing Pheobus slightly less than if he'd found a rock in his boot.

"Could I ask a favor?"

"Oh, no," Phoebus exclaimed. "I am not, in any way, falling for that again."

"But you saw how complicated things are!" Clopin said, waving his hand for emphasis in a way that would look over the top if it were someone else.

"Frankly I'm tired of things being complicated. I left the war because that confused me. You guys can keep this one to yourselves."

"I was simple before you got here!" Clopin complained. "How fun was that?"

"Fine," Phoebus sad through gritted teeth. Either his morals or his conscience was going to be severely bruised before the day was over. "What trouble did everyone get themselves into?"

"Frollo fired Gaetan!"

"So he's gone completely insane, what do you want me to do about it?"

"He can't take her back unless she gets married to someone who can spell their own name and you're the only one I know who can do that."

"No, I'm not," Phoebus retorted. "I never learned." In an other circumstances, he'd have felt stupid, but this one time, he was avoiding unnecessary lunacy trust upon him.

"Stabbing people legally also works," Clopin explained. "Besides, I though you might have a dying friend or know someone who'll be leaving because they're smarter than everyone else."

"If I knew someone smarter than all of us, I'd ask them how not to come up with bright ideas."

Achilles stamped his foot.

"You don't count, you can't talk."

"Can't you ask him if there's a loophole?" Clopin pleaded. "Gaetan's money was the only way I could afford to feed my family."

"Look, there is no one insane enough to marry that girl. She's your problem now."

"But if she gets married, she's his problem. And Esmeralda and Frollo can be her problem; she seemed to handle them well."

"She hates Esmeralda," Phoebus said, wishing Clopin would just go away.

"I know, but not enough to want to kill anyone over it."

Phoebus sighed. As crazy as Clopin was and as little as he trusted him, he had a point. Frollo could harness the power of spite into a precise and focused determination to kill his prey a wild bear would want avoid.

"Look, I'd help you, but there's no one out there who wants to give things up his whole life just to keep Frollo from killing murderers and making people miserable."

"Just find someone who doesn't care anyway and hasn't gotten themselves in trouble yet," Clopin said cheerfully. "That and someone who'd really want Frollo to owe them as long as it fixes everything."

"Fine," Phoebus said. "But I'm not promising anything, I'm not fighting Frollo, and after this I'm not involved in any more disasters related to this, understand."

"Easily," Clopin said, holding up his hand in promise.

As the gypsy turned to leave, Phoebus turned to his horse. "Okay, wise guy, what's your bright idea about all of this?"

Achilles strode forward and plucked Clopin's hat off the man's head to chew on.

"Hey!" Clopin complained.

"I need a drink, Phoebus muttered.

Gaetan was convinced Esmeralda's cleverness stopped at thinking about nude men; if they weren't involved, Esmeralda probably didn't even think it could be done. Thus Gaetan had no faith in Esmeralda's involvement in getting married. Clopin had just told her 'You know, you might enjoy it' and Gaetan just figured she'd ask her mother for tips, Phoebus for alcohol, and Frollo her help circumventing the whole deal.

Esmeralda hadn't mentioned naked men or what she did with them all day. Instead, she insisted on buying and measuring cloth for a dress and simple headdress, complaining about Gaetan's figure, complexion, and other things she didn't know the meaning of and didn't wish to. At least she already had a plan about Geatan's hair, and a reasonable one at that.

Despite trusting Esmeraldas's knowledge on dresses and hats, Gaetan wondered why the gypsy never once addressed actual marriage or how to have the other participant volunteer. All she said on the matter was 'Give these to your mother' and 'I'm sure your father knows what he's doing.'

Not having anything else to do, and hoping it would earn her some food, Gaetan headed to her parents' tent in the court. As she neared, she could hear Clopin's loud and wild words as he spoke to Giselle. He was talking about her getting married, guaranteeing some stranger would come along soon. Apparently she had two people helping her, neither of which had an actual clue.

When she heard Phoebus's name, however, she realized just what was going on. Sighing, she entered the tent to pretend she had been deaf and dumber than a potato up until now. She gave her mother the materials Esmeralda had bought her and told her what Esmeralda wanted, realizing that her wants weren't involved in any of this whatsoever—as usual.

She'd been through that situation enough. Even if it meant achieving her dream permanently, she couldn't force someone else into that situation. Especially poor Phoebus…. Of all the people she'd met, they all wanted to trick their way into getting what they wanted. Only one person besides him had lied, cheated, exaggerated, seduced, tricked, or forced others to get what they wanted. Perhaps others deserved such a thing as the divine wreaking retribution, but he had not earned such punishment.

While her mother was distracted by her father boasting about how great it would be to trick the captain of the guard in order to afford a good many frivolous things, Gaetan slipped out, angry at them all, and at herself for letting them tick her into becoming as bad as them.

Gaetan his in the shadows near one of the entrances to The Court. Her mother had yet to make her a dress and without authority se one had, she could easily cost her family more than an annoying, useless, girl who was just about to ruin their lives further.

She took to the streets in the very dark. Phoebus was alone, roaming the streets aimlessly with Achilles.

Gaetan stepped in front of the horse, frightening it immediately and sending it on its back hooves, flailing its front hooves in the air wildly.

"Whoah! Calm down!" Pheobus ordered. "She doesn't have a broom."

"Is anyone else around…Sir?

"No, it's just me, kid," Phoebus said. "What in the world do you want, now? Did one of your folks try to kill someone again?"

"No…not that I know of, sir."

"Then what's going on?"

"We shouldn't be married just because my father and Esmeralda tricked you."

Phoebus sighed. "I'd say you spoiled the surprise, but you saved me the speech of telling you all this and keeping you from hurting anyone. I guess you're too smart for that.

"Look, kid, I know you mean well, but this would help everybody, including you. You'll get your job back, Frollo won't have to work as much, Esmeralda will leave both of us alone, your parents and brother will get money—"

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine. I prefer to see Frollo happy, and outside of earshot," Phoebus said. "You keep saying marriage isn't about love, so why should ours be?"

"But you could get someone better than me."

"I don't think so."

Achilles shook his head as hard as he could.

"Ignore him," Phoebus said. "The only girl horses in the stable are yours and Frollo's.

"I mean, marriage doesn't mean we have to live in the same place or eat the same dinner at the same time. I just can't go…where your mom used t work—just in case they need checking up on. Not that I—"

"Sir, it doesn't count unless they're married too. You can go there all you want when you're not working."

"I—wait, what?" Phoebus exclaimed. "I thought it was illegal or something if you're married."

"Not unless the church demands your arrest. You just go to confession."

"Well I guess that's settled then, thanks. I'll visit you now and then."

"We can't live together?" Gaetan asked.

"Frollo's not going to allow me to move in and I definitely don't want him knocking on my door every day," Phoebus said. "It'll be fine; my parents didn't live together."

"But who'd marry us?" Gaetan asked.

"Your dad said he'd handle that, I think."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I thought you'd know," Pheobus said. "I didn't want to think about it."

Neither of the wedding participants was impressed. Phoebus had had to trek through the sewers, dragging Phillipe with him, who all the while alternated between screaming about being attacked and laughing at Phoebus's predicament. Added to that, Esmeralda had come along, mocking him the whole way inadvertently to Phillipe, and he had been blamed when her goat ate the bouquet.

Gaetan was in no mood for Clopin's quirky surprises either. Her mother had never measured the dress and insisted that this was better than fitting her perfectly. The waist was small, the skirt was too long, and she was blamed when Esmeralda's goat ate her flower garland.

"What?" Clopin asked. "I said I could handle this and I could! Why would I need to tell everyone I can marry people?"

"So you're a priest?"

"No, but I can marry people with the authority granted by the archdeacon so marriages are legitimate," Clopin corrected.

Phoebus and Gaetan sighed.

"Now, as per tradition, the groom gives a dowry to the bride—"

"I'm giving her her job back, that's not enough?"

"I can still become a nun," Gaetan said flatly.

"Clopin…" Esmeralda prompted through gritted teeth.

"Er, right, now the usual vow is to contribute to our society, hand over money to me now and then, and make babies, but how about you two just keep anyone form being killed if they don't need to be and call it a deal?"

"Sounds fair," they both agreed.

"Good, I pronounce you married. Keep out of trouble. I need to talk to Esmeralda."

"Hey, I'm only here to make sure this is legitimate," Esmeralda protested. "And to tell her what to do next."

"But I thought I could go home," Gaetan said as Phoebus used this as an opportunity to sneak away and Giselle gave her daughter a long, appreciative hug, showing she was finally proud of her daughter. So long as she could be an adequate girl, she could be as good a boy as she wanted.

"You are going to the Palace of Justice," Esmeralda said, interupting the moment. "Frollo doesn't' want anyone bugging him when he's not working. He said figuring our the servants and magistrates would be a good challenge for you. I'll send your things."

"And you're going to keep an eye on those two not-in-love birds," Clopi tol Esmeralda, dragon her away.

"Me?" Esmeralda exclaimed. "I have to keep four people form having kids?"

"My daughter breaks noses, wields a word, and I swear to God has a horse that wants to eat me. I don't care if she's married to that lunkhead or knows Quasimodo, Frollo is teaching her to do even worse things and we might as well save time and set Paris on fire ourselves if she takes after her mother. The only kids she's going to have should be that kind!" Clopin pointed to Djali, who was busy fighting Prince for one of his socks.

"You mean my doe?" Esmeralda asked, confused.

"No, I mean your goat."

"We need to have a talk."