"There was an incident with a guard at school?" Dr. Fields leaned forward on his desk.
"It was some punk 22-year old on a power trip." Ricky shook his head, "He said I was 'talking back'; he wanted me away from the visiting kids. It's not a big deal."
"Seemed like a big deal at the time. You shoved him into a wall." Fields was carefully calm and neutral.
Shaking his head again, Ricky tried to hide his frustration, "He grabbed me by the arm, okay? He yanked me away like I was his little doll to play with!"
Dr. Fields paused, resting his hands on the desk in front of him, "Does that make you feel vulnerable?" Ricky was silent. "Does that make you feel like you're back with your father?" Ricky glared at him. "Look, you had every right to be angry with him and to be frustrated with the situation. It was a bad one, but if you talk to me, one day you won't have to get that angry every time something reminds you of him."
There was a few more moments of pause, something Dr. Fields was very used to, before Ricky spoke. "I felt like he thought I was going to . . . to do something to the kids. Take advantage of them."
"Hurt them?"
"Yeah," Ricky looked away.
"Take advantage of them like you take advantage of the girls at school?"
"No!" Ricky took in a sharp breath, "No. They chose to . . . I didn't force them to do anything."
"No, you didn't." Dr. Fields looked him in the eye, "And you wouldn't." he reassured, "You're nothing like your father. Something tells me what you really want is for a girl to say 'no' to you. Is that why you're dating Grace Bowman? To see if she can turn the tables on you?"
Ricky scoffed, "She would never manipulate anyone."
Fields laughed, "No, no, but that's the point. Are you hoping she's too 'pure' to corrupt? That maybe some of that pureness will rub off on you?"
"Shouldn't you be telling me to leave her alone?" Ricky looked at his hands.
"I'm trying to show you why you're doing this. Or at least why I thinkyou are."
"And then what? I get magically better?" A bitter Ricky twisted out.
Dr. Fields sighed, "Ricky, you know there is no magical cure. This is going to take time." Ricky stared at the floor. "Tell me more about these kids that were at your school." Fields picked an easier topic.
"They were just music brats, came to see us play some harder music. They were from the elementary school, I think." Ricky shrugged.
"Did anything about them make you angry?"
Ricky rolled his eyes, "Yes, we've been over this. I feel like my father stole my childhood. I'm jealous of people who had real childhoods. I get angry and uncomfortable when I see kids having fun."
"I like how you said all of that, and I'm happy you can say all of that."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Ricky made light, but he was fighting a hint of smile.