Author's Note: Alright, so, unfortunately, From The Darkness is being put on hold. I don't know why, but I am having a lot of trouble with it. I can't seem to get my mind focused on it. So! I decided to write a different story! X) I will get back to FTD as soon as I can. Rather, as soon as I can write past one sentence without getting lost … Anyways, this one is on a happier note! No sadness here, only humor and … well … happiness! XP Okay, maybe a sad moment here and there … but all around just happy. Read and enjoy! XD
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, nor do I own any of Oda-sensei's characters! But damn do I wish Luffy were mine! XD Ahem!
Genderly Challenged
Chapter 1: Respect Thy Lady
"Alright you guys … Just meet back at the ship in two hours."
Everyone nodded at Nami before dispersing into the town. Sighing and shaking her head, she then turned to Robin with a smile. "Shall we then?"
"Ee." Robin replied with a smile as both women made their way into town.
"So, where should we go?!" Luffy asked excitedly with a grin as he strode ahead of the guys.
"I don't know about you … but I could really use a drink …" Zoro said as he glanced around for a bar.
"Ooh! I can get something to eat! I'll come with you, Zoro!"
"I think I'm going to see what kinds of different spices and foods I can get here." Sanji said as he looked around at the market they were walking through.
"I'm with you, Luffy!" Usopp exclaimed as he ran after his captain, who'd already spotted a bar, Zoro behind them.
"Yohohoho! A drink sounds heavenly! I haven't had any alcohol running through my veins in so long! … Wait, but I don't have any veins! Yohohoho! Skull joke!"
"Ah, I want to check out their book store. I'm in the mood to read." Chopper said, not really all that hungry. He was more excited about the newest studies he might find there.
"Ah, perhaps you would need assistance carrying your books, Chopper-san?" Brook asked as he turned to Chopper.
"Aa, that would be nice, Brook! Thanks!" Chopper exclaimed with a grin.
"There are some things I need to do. I'll meet up with everyone later." Franky said without turning and waved as he walked away.
Bursting through the bar doors, both Luffy and Usopp raced to a table and sat down as they laughed. Zoro just strode in, in no real hurry and sat down with them.
"Oi, we want some food!"
"Oi, you heard the man!"
Zoro leaned back in his chair with a yawn, letting the idiots get the attention of someone. After awhile, a bar maid finally made her way to them.
"What can I help you with?"
"We want food! And lots of it!"
"Yeah, lots of food!"
"Just bring me the biggest bottle of sake you have."
"Oh! I want something to drink too!"
"Yeah, me too!"
"You guys looks like a lot of fun."
"Eh?" Luffy questioned as he turned to a woman, sitting on the table with one foot propped in a chair as she grinned their way.
After awhile, she stood up and made her way to them. "I'll tell ya what, it's on the house."
"Eh?! Really?!" Luffy exclaimed as he grinned at the woman.
"Sure, I'll have Gracey bring it right out to you." She said as she nodded to the bar maid, who smiled and turned to retrieve the wanted items.
She turned the chair around and sat with its back to her front, and her legs spread on each side. "Name's Manny … Mind if I drink with you?"
"Shishishi, not at all!"
Her grin widened as the other bar maids in the bar also smiled. Zoro looked this woman over, and sensed something off about her. Of course, her tight brown leather hide pants, frilly cream colored tank top, and boots didn't help, but there was something else he couldn't place. However, she was offering free sake, who was he to complain?
"So, you the owner of this bar?" Usopp asked, just making small talk.
"I am."
"Cool!" Both Usopp and Luffy exclaimed as they leaned closer to her.
"You own this whole bar?!"
"Is that surprising?" She asked as she arched a brow.
"That's neat! And you offer free food!"
"And drinks!"
Her smile rose on one side. "You boys seemed like a lot of fun. It is my bar, right? I can do as I please."
"That's so cool! I also like to do as I please!" Luffy exclaimed as he pointed a thumb to himself.
"That so?"
"Aa! Having adventures and exploring The Grand Line is a lot of fun!"
"That does sound like a lot of fun. So, does this mean you guys are pirates?"
"That's right! I'm gonna be the pirate king!"
"Wow, that's a really big dream you have there." She said as she leaned onto her hand and smiled at him as her eyes became heavy lidded.
"Aa, it is my dream! But I'm going to accomplish it!"
Suddenly, the bar maid Gracey came back to set down an abundance of food and a few jars of sake. However, she placed a bottle of whiskey in front of Manny.
"There's so much! Thanks!" Luffy exclaimed excitedly as he immediately dug in.
"Wow, it all looks so delicious! Thanks a lot!" Usopp exclaimed as he also began to dig in and fight for certain portions with Luffy.
Zoro grabbed one of the bottles of sake, and poured some for himself. "Thanks for the drink." He said as he raised the cup and then downed it.
Manny's eyes widened slightly, but then forced them back to normal size. Then she chuckled softly. "I'm glad you appreciate it." She said quietly before pouring a shot of whiskey and then downing it.
After a long while of talking about nothing really important to Luffy and Usopp, Manny turned to Zoro. "You sure don't talk much."
Shrugging, he poured himself another cup before turning to her. "Got nothin' ta say."
"Zoro doesn't talk much!" Usopp said as he laughed. "Especially not to women." Usopp said as he smirked and narrowed his eyes at Zoro.
Zoro opened an eye at Usopp while quirking a brow. "Ain't got nothin' to say to a woman."
"Shishishishishi!"
Manny rose up both brows at this. "You two don't seem to have any trouble talking to a woman." She said in a low voice as her smile turned seductive.
"Shishishi, a woman's a woman! It doesn't matter to me! I can talk to whomever!"
"It doesn't really matter to me either!"
"I just don't care …"
"I see …"
"Oi, are you jerkfaces still in here?!"
Manny's brows rose up again at the sound of another man. Turning to the bar doors, she saw a blonde man walk in, looking irritable. However, at seeing her, his eyes immediately converted to hearts and he danced his way to her.
"Ah, such lovely golden curls and wonderful curves! Beautiful maiden, you should not be dining with these shitty ingrates!"
"Oi!"
Her smile turned slyer. "Shall I dine with you then?"
Steam shot from his flared nostrils as his heart shaped eyes pulsed. "Ah, lovely lady, I shall do whatever you ask of me!"
"Please, have a seat and a drink." She said as she pulled out a chair for him to sit in.
Sanji dramatically fell into the chair as he continued to stare at her. Then he reached over and snatched up Zoro's sake bottle. "Oi! Get your own, idiot love cook!"
Ignoring Zoro completely, Sanji poured himself a cup, as soon as one was set down in front of him, which was about the same time he'd sat down and downed it. Zoro immediately snatched it back and then just drank from the bottle.
"Gracey …" Manny said without looking at the girl.
"Yes, Manny-san?"
"Bring us some more sake, please."
"Yes, of course." The girl said as she left to the back of the bar.
By the time two hours past, Luffy and Usopp were laughing boisterously while Sanji was flirting with every woman present in the bar, which all four failed to notice, was all there was in the bar.
"This is like heaven, my angelic damsels. To have so many women surrounding me …. is like a dream come true."
"Is that so, Sanji-san?" One of the women cooed as she leaned towards him.
"Aaah!" Sanji exclaimed as his nostrils flared and hearts raged.
Luffy immediately jumped onto the table as he and Usopp attempted to entertain. Manny laughed hysterically at them. However, Luffy lost his balance and fell off from the table, still laughing.
"Oh, this bunch is exceptionally funny!!" Manny declared as she continued to laugh.
"Ah!" Luffy exclaimed as his eyes widened, and he immediately stopped laughing. Just in front of him was a miniature Buggy.
Sitting up on his elbow, he continued to stare down at him. He waved at him, and then began to walk off under the tables. Luffy leaned down a bit to watch him walk away before sitting up onto his chair. He reached up and pulled on Usopp's pant leg, his face still in a bewildered gaze as he continued to stare at the little two inch tall Buggy as he walked away.
"O-Oi … Usopp …" He called as he tugged on the other man's pants. However, when he didn't get a response, he yanked down on him, catching him in the crook of his arm as he pointed with the other. "Look 'et tha' … You see … you see … see 'et?"
Manny's brow rose up as her smile turned into a smirk.
"No …" Usopp replied as he giggled to himself, which caused Luffy to begin to chuckle.
"Eh?" Luffy questioned as he lost his humor again. Buggy had turned and beckoned to him. "I-I thin' … he wans follow 'im … me ta fo-follow 'im …"
"So go follow 'im Luffy!" Usopp exclaimed as he began to laugh, falling out of his chair.
Zoro was holding his head, not really paying attention to anything. Just before his mind slipped, and he began to see things, he had realized something had not been right.
Getting out of his chair with some trouble, Luffy stumbled around a bit as he followed the little clown man.
"O-Oi … W-Where a' ya goin' …?" Usopp asked as he stumbled up to his feet, having forgotten he'd just told Luffy to follow the clown.
Blinking and shaking his head slightly, Zoro also got up to follow after them.
"O-Oi!" Sanji called out as he watched the others leaving. "You leaving already?!"
Stumbling out of the bar, Luffy looked around, but didn't see the clown anywhere. Frowning and scratching his head, which caused him to lose his balance, he caught himself just before falling over, but was just run over when Usopp came running out clumsily. Both fell forward and landed on the ground hard.
"Gah!" Luffy exclaimed as his chin hit the ground.
However, when he opened his eyes, Buggy was standing right in front of him. Crossing his eyes, he stared down at the little clown wide eyed. Buggy then walked up and poked Luffy's nose. Blinking, Luffy snorted out his nostrils and then twitched his nose around before frowning at him.
"S-Stob loogin so … fam … fi … famalar … fam … dammit!"
"Who a' ya talkin' ta, Luffy …?" Usopp asked as he attempted to stand up again, using Luffy as cushion.
"Dude … you not seein' this?!"
"Seein' wha' Luffy?" Usopp asked as he blinked down at what Luffy was supposedly looking at. "I don' see nothin' …"
"Forget 'et …" Luffy said as he pushed himself up, stumbling towards Buggy, who continued to walk away from him.
"Where are you guys going?! The ladies are this way!" Sanji exclaimed as he motioned back to the bar, but then stumbled after them too. "Ooh! More ladies!" He exclaimed as he followed after Luffy and the others.
"Woo! Look'et tha'!" Usopp exclaimed as he ran ahead of Luffy.
"Oi, don' run! You'll steb on 'et … on 'im … on … on 'et …" Luffy exclaimed before he began to confuse himself. He scratched his head and scrunched up his nose as he continued to follow Buggy.
xxxx
Nami and Robin made their way back to Sunny. However, when they climbed aboard, what greeted them was not to be expected. As soon as Nami did climb aboard, she immediately froze and gaped.
"Oh … my …" She started before her entire face flushed a deep red.
"Oi, oi! You guyz shou' do this too! H-He tol' me, I'd be free thiz way!"
"Mm?" Robin questioned as she stepped up beside Nami before immediately stopping. Then a hand slowly rose to her mouth as her eyes widened.
"Oi … Oi Luffy! Shh! Nami migh' see … uh wai' … hear you! No … wai' thaz na righ' either …" Usopp said as he clumsily put a finger to his lips, but then scratched his head in confusion.
Up on the railings of the upper deck, Luffy stood, almost toppling over, completely nude. He had his arms outstretched and a grin on his face.
"Oi! You shitface! Put some clothes on! You're defiling Nami-san and Robin-chan's eyes - Oh ladies!!" Sanji suddenly exclaimed as he pranced off and began talking to nothing but air.
Zoro seemed to be holding his sword up to nothing at all, and swinging at the air. "I said … go away!"
"Wha-What the …?" Nami started as she looked at all of them before hesitantly going up to Luffy without looking up. "Luffy! Get down from there now, and put some clothes on!" She yelled, becoming angry, but still confused.
"Oh, Nami!" Luffy exclaimed as he jumped down right in front of Nami.
Squealing, she immediately backed away from him and covered her eyes. "Wha-What are you doing?!"
He grabbed at her shoulders and gently shook her once. "Nami … you gotta try thiz … It maaze you feel free! He said zo!"
"Oh my …! Luffy don't … don't touch me … right now … like that!" She yelled as she quickly stepped away from him, her entire body flushing.
"But I feel zo free! You gotta try 'et!"
"No!" She yelled, feeling her whole face heat in a blush. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?! Are … Are you guys drunk?!"
"Hardly …"
Gasping, Nami quickly turned to the voice. A woman was standing on Sunny's rail, along with two other women. "Wh-Who are you?" Nami asked as she frowned at the woman.
"Name's Manny …"
"What's wrong with them?! What did you do to them?!" Nami yelled, already not liking this woman.
"Just slipped them a little something. You know, men never surprise me …"
"What are you talking about?"
"So … indifferent … and eager … and ready to get inside your pants at any opportunity."
"Wha …?" Nami asked as she narrowed her eyes at this woman in slight annoyed disbelief. "Are … Are we talking about … the same guys …? These … these right here?" She asked as she threw a thumb behind her shoulder.
"Of course."
"A-Are you … Are you kidding me? Are you … stupid?"
"Excuse me?!"
"Indifferent and eager maybe … but not to get into anyone's pants … Well … maybe Sanji, but he's not as bad as he seems."
"Thank you, Nami-san!"
"Shut up, Sanji-kun."
"Yes, of course!"
"You are actually defending these men?!"
"Uh …… yeah …"
"This is ridiculous! Look at him!"
"Yeah, I'd rather not …" Nami said as her expression turned exasperated, knowing who she was referring to. "And if it's all the same to you … you shouldn't be either … Luffy! Put some clothes on!" She yelled over her shoulder.
"Awww!"
"Now!"
"Okay …"
"This is outrageous! How can you live with these … these … heathens?!"
"Heathens?" Nami questioned as she furrowed her brows, but quirked one upward.
"And what does it matter to you?" Robin asked as she stepped up next to Nami, a brow also quirked.
"Both of you can't possibly call yourselves women!"
"Eh …?" Nami questioned as her expression changed into an annoyed gape. "Listen lady … I don't know who the hell you think you are … but could you please leave our ship … I gather the drug will wear off eventually? I sure as hell hope you had your fun … but I'd appreciate you never doing this to them again … it's just weird …"
"All of you … you don't … appreciate what is it to be a real woman! And you both seem to have forgotten!"
"What?!" Nami exclaimed, just having about had enough of this woman. "Okay, that's it! If you don't leave now, I will make you leave!" She said as she pulled out her Perfect Clima Tact.
"Not so fast!" Manny said as she held out a hand. "I will make them respect and appreciate what it means to be a woman … and I will make you understand what men are really like.
"Off our ship … now!"
Beginning to chuckle low in her throat, Manny smirked as she rose up her arm further.
"Gender switch …"
To Be Continued …
Author's Note: That one's for you TPOC1! It's not exactly what you said, or won't be rather once I get to it, but I hope you enjoyed it none the less! XD I'm sure you are all uber confused. The next chapter shall explain all! XP Also, I realize it's a short chapter. All the chapters are pretty much going to be this short. It makes it easier for me to get chapters out right now. Anyways, please review and let me know what you thought! XP