Hello! This is my first fic in awhile so please be kind!

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM, if I did, there will probably be major angst and BL.

Title: Suffering

Story Type: One-shot

Genre: Angst/Romance (slightly)

Rating: PG-13 (for death)

Warnings: slight spoiler for recent chapters…..Well not really I only included little details and the rest are all my imagination……Angst, shounen-ai hints…….CHARACTER DEATH

Coupling (one sided only): KandaxAllen, LavixAllen, CrossxAllen (master and apprentice way) and LinkxAllen (uhhhh, brotherly love.)

Hope you enjoy!

"Shishou." Why, why did you leave me here? All alone.

Where did you go off to?

Well Shishou, are you traveling from city to city and from country to country, racking up unimaginable amount of debt waiting for me to pay for them?

I miss you Shishou. I only wished you would've taken me with you. Then….then I wouldn't be here, suffering physically and mentally. I wouldn't, cry myself to sleep nightly, wishing that you'll come back for me.

Shishou, will I ever see you again?

I hope we do because I really don't know how much longer I can take this, Shishou.

Shishou, please come back to me. I really miss you.

--

Everyone was worried for young Allen. Ever since the disappearance of General Marian Cross, Allen...hasn't been the same.

He became thin and unhealthy looking as days went by. He ate little, even with his innocence consuming most of his energy.

They found him wandering the halls at night, looking utterly lifeless.

In the morning, with one glance they could tell the boy had cried himself to sleep the night before.

--

Finders…whenever missions were given, they would also take that chance to look for the General, hoping to find him and bring him back to the suffering boy. But it seems, that no matter where they look they never did find the infamous General.

Even Kanda, who fights with Allen frequently, became excessively worried. He would deliberately call Allen 'Moyashi', hoping to pick a fight with the boy, but only silence was heard.

There was no 'BaKanda', no 'HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! IT'S ALLEN, A-L-L-E-N" or were there intense glaring from him.

To say the least, Kanda missed the old Allen. The one who constantly smile. The kind hearted boy, who loved all and the boy who most likely will be the only one who can make him feel so helpless and might as well have taken his heart.

Ever since then, Allen blue gray eyes became so lifeless that the Order has became somewhat of a depressing place. After all, Allen gave them hope. He gave everyone hope. He would welcome everyone home with a bright smile, making them feel that coming home to a smiling face and someone like Allen was worth it.

Now, he smiled less, talked less and ate less.

Everyone, however, also blame Rouvelier. Even when he saw Allen suffering didn't care and continued with his torture. Both mentally and physically.

They couldn't stand it, they couldn't watch as Allen become a lifeless doll, going through the day routine like it was normal.

Wake up, shower, dress, mission (if he has one), dinner, Rouvelier (to see him each night was a requirement for the boy), wander the halls (searching for his missing Shishou), returns to his room (crying himself to slumber) and wake up to repeat.

They….they couldn't watch him continue that way. Yet, they couldn't do anything.

--

The Order head Nurse…..whenever she sees Allen come in, bruised and batter looking would cry silently.

"Allen." She would whisper as the boy lay quietly on the white hospital like bed, staring blankly at the wall.

Allen was like a son to her, like so many others who had come in and left, but to her, he was the most precious.

She, herself, could not bare a child and when she first laid eyes on the boy, felt her heart flutter.

As of recent, he has been coming in with bruises and cuts, from big to small, covering his thinning body.

"You need to eat more." She would tell him, while dressing his wounds. He would nod and smile.

But she knew he was only trying to make her happy. She would pat his head and run her long fingers through his sliver hair, hoping that he'll at least some shut eye.

She hated how Rouvelier treated the boy; he would leave early morning and come back, body covered with more bruises than before he left.

But she couldn't do anything for him; after all, Rovuelier was her superior. So all she could do was pray, dress his wounds, and keep him comfort.

--

Lavi, as the next in line for the Bookman title, watched as his friend became a lifeless doll. He wanted to help, to comfort the boy and to ease whatever is weighing the boy shoulders down and move to his own.

But, he couldn't do anything. All he could do was watch as Allen suffered. Change from a happy go lucky boy to a breakable doll.

Lavi was told that a Bookman needed no heart, but he couldn't help it. He fell in love. Fell in love so hard that he would cry to himself as he watched the boy who stole his heart fall apart silently.

He wanted to help Allen. Wanted to kill Rouvelier with his own hands for hurting Allen, for being responsible in breaking him.

Yet, he was constantly reminded by the old man that Bookmen only stand on the side line to record history.

So he cried and prayed. Praying to whatever god was present to save Allen from the suffering, and from the pain. Cried for him, for his was pathetic. For he couldn't even save Allen. Couldn't save the beautifully tragic boy.

He couldn't do anything, only standing on the sideline, silently watching Allen fall to pieces.

--

The science department grieved as they moved around busily. They didn't yell at one another to finish this or finish that.

So much has happened that they no longer had the strength to yell.

But when they saw Allen and his smiles. Everything will become so much better and they would continue, even for a moment, they forget what pained them before.

Too sudden did his smiles disappear. To them, all they waited for was Allen to come and smile and help them.

Like a sudden cloud has covered their hearts, Allen visits became infrequent and soon it had stopped all together.

When they have time, they would leave the science room and eat in the cafeteria. They ate yet listen to what others said around them.

"That poor child, I wish I could do something. He has done so much for us and yet we can't do anything for him!" Finders would say angrily.

They became curious and asked Johnny to go and ask Jerry where Allen, of course, they didn't know who the finders were speaking of.

"Jerry-san! Where is Allen?" Johnny asked the man. Jerry would look sadly at Johnny and tell him, "He hasn't been here all week, so I don't know. Sorry Kiddo."

Johnny nods and goes back and tells the others.

They soon found out from finders and exorcists that were close to Allen that the boy was on a mission given by Rouvelier.

Hate consumed their heart as they hear how the young boy was treated by the cruel man. Yet again, they knew they couldn't do anything.

And when Allen returned, they saw him for the first time in weeks, even months. They almost cried.

Allen eyes…were so lifeless, so doll like that it scared them. They congrats him on a job well done, expecting a smile, but only received a smile nod.

And the boy walked away, head bowed and bangs covering those eyes. Following the boy was Inspector Link, who looked depressed.

The science department whispered amongst themselves. Like finders, they tried to help but attempts for futile.

So now, they could only wish for their sun to be back, to brighten their day and push away the gray clouds that had covered their wounded heart.

--

Everyone watched with heavy hearts as Rouvelier punished the boy in front of everyone, on a Sunday mass.

"You stupid, stupid boy! Look what you've done! Look!" Rouvelier at Allen. Whip after whip fell on the young boy shoulder.

Allen looked unfazed, eyes glazed as if he had lost all feeling.

Komui held back Rouvelier hand.

"I think that's enough Inspector." He looked at Allen, waiting for the boy to get up. In his heart, in every heart, wanted Allen to stand up and smile.

The father of the Church, cried softly. Praying for Allen, after all, the boy had help him so many times before and seeing a fate like this bestow him so, was heartbreakingly painful.

Kanda and Lavi ran to his side. Hosting him up, asking for a response.

"Hey buddy, its okay, we got ya!" He tried to sound happy, as happy as he can for his love.

"Heh, Moyashi, that was pathetic." Kanda said, trying to get a response from the boy. His voice betrayed all seriousness of the statement, and everyone knew Kanda was in love with Allen.

"Answer then you them you stupid boy!" Rouvelier yelled again, yanking his wrist from Komui and whipping the boy again, this time drawing in blood.

"Inspector stop it please!" This time it was Link and Linali who held onto the man.

"Allen-kun can't take this anymore!" Linali cried, begging him to stop. He glared at them with hatred.

"Please Inspector, Allen can't endure this anymore! He is only Human, Inspector!" Link cried out. Being with Allen so long, he has grown a liken to the boy. He was like a younger brother to him and it pained him so much to see Allen in this state.

Komui was also holding the man back and gripping the blooded whip.

"Inspector, one more move and the whole order will turn against you. Weather the Vatican approves or disapprove of our conduct." Komui said, glaring at the horrid man.

"You all will regret it if you attack me." Rouvelier said, smirk and all in place.

"Shishou." Allen whispered. Lavi and Kanda looked at the boy with happiness, for he spoke, but why call out for his Master.

"Shishou, you've come back for me." Allen said. Everyone turned and looked at the boy who head was now on Kanda lap with Lavi by his side.

"Allen, what are you saying? General Cross isn't here." Lavi said, worry lacing his voice. Everyone gathered around the boy, hoping and prying to god the boy was okay.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Shishou. You look good in Red with Mana by your side like that." Allen spoke, scaring them even more.

Lavi looked at Linali. And Komui cried. Mana….Mana was Allen dead father.

Allen eyes closed slightly and he smiled sadly.

"You've finally came back, back for me. I was so lonely Shishou. So very lonely." Tears leaked out his eyes. "Everything hurts Mana. Everything hurts."

He reached a shaking hand out towards the church ceiling and smiled softly. "I…..I'm ready….pl...Please take me….take me….with you….Shishou, Mana"

His eyes closed and his thin pale hand went limp in Lavi's hold.

"No, no, no, no! Allen wake up! Wake up, please. Please I won't call you name anymore! Allen!" Kanda cried, hugging the boy.

Lavi cried silently as did everyone else.

"HaHaHaHa! The monster finally died! Such a joyous day!" Rouvelier laughed. All eyes with hatred turned towards the man.

Allen died because of him; everything that happened was because of him!

They held a grand funeral for Allen, placing his body next to his Foster Father Mana. As for General Cross, since no body was recovered, all they did was place and grand tomb stone next to Allen and Mana, in respect for the missing man.

Not a day passed by did they not regret never helping the boy. Their only sun and hope was lost and their hearts will ever be covered by that gray cloud that only Allen could remove.

And so, they regret everything even till their very death.

Please don't hate me! I didn't want to kill Allen! I love Allen to death! I just loved angst so I tried to write this totally lame fic! But please leave reviews! Tell me if you liked it or not?

Thank you for reading! Hope you guys are kind to this lame author….yes very lame indeed.