Endless Night

Where has the starlight gone?
Dark is the day
How can I find my way home?

The young wizard sat quietly. He was seventeen in a few weeks and his life was in pieces. No one knew how he felt. He was alone. The prophecy, the words had changed his life, dictated how he should live. He'd lost so many dear to him. His parents, his godfather, Diggory, and now Dumbledore. When would the bloodbath end? When Voldemort died. And who had to kill him? Harry did. His life had been planned from the beginning. He had no choice.

The Dark Lord will mark him as his equal...

From that moment his life had been deliberated. He had no choice in the matter. No choice at all. He didn't want to be a hero. He just wanted to be a normal teenager. He was scared. So scared.

Voldemort was a trained and practiced killer, but Harry hadn't even completed his N.E.W.T's. How could he compete with that?

Home is an empty dream
Lost to the night
Father, I feel so alone

He sat in the Dursleys' house, in his bedroom. The stars twinkled overhead as he leant out the window. The cold washed a sense of despair over him. The sky was black, deathly.

Holidays. A time to go home. But Harry didn't have a home. He really was alone. His parents were gone. He'd hardly known them. Why him? Why did he have to be the one? He looked over to his desk where his parents stood grinning, hand in hand, in a stainless steel framed photograph. He took their appearances in. His Father's dark hair that Harry himself had inherited. His slim, yet Quidditch toned body. Harry's eyes flickered over to his Mother, and his eyes looked directly into identical green and almond shaped orbs. He ran his fingers over the two figures.

He frowned, hitting his fist on the desk. How could they have left him to this life? Left him to defeat Voldemort? Who chose that life for their child? What kind of parent? Why had they left him?

"Dad…" he breathed, staring deeply at his image. "I can't do this on my own."

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

Harry chocked back a sob. Why the hell was it him? Why his parents? Why did Voldemort choose him?

He picked up the photo album Hagrid had given him in first year, off his bedside table. He flicked lazily, half-heartedly through it. He came to a page with a picture of a young couple standing in wedding garments. Next to his father stood his best mate, Sirius Black. Harry gazed at the three, and dipped his head so his brow was resting on his hand, his elbow pressed onto the desk.

They looked so happy, so peaceful. How could they have ever known what was to happen to them? To their family?

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

He tried to picture his Father, holding him, comforting him. Like a Father does to his son. It was hard to do. All he could see was himself and an unnamed figure who acted as his father. But it wasn't James that held him in a tight embrace. It wasn't Lily's auburn-red hair that burned across his mind. It was like that of a stranger.

No child should be stranger to their parents. Theirs should be the most comfortable, the most familiar. The favourite scent, the recognized embrace. The family should hold that unrivalled bond. After all it wasn't just the blood that made the family. It was more than bones and flesh and material matter. Their love would draw them together.

He sighed once again. The sky was still dark, empty and misty. It was eerie. As was the quiet that surrounded the house. The only light was that of his room. And the only noise was Hedwig moving restlessly in her cage, and the dim mutter from the television downstairs.

He was living in his own personal nightmare. One he couldn't escape. His friends were being murdered everyday. For ridiculous things such as supporting him, or Dumbledore. Or for having muggle parents.

No-one understood. How could they? Not Hermione, not Ron. They still had families. They had a choice. They could back out of this anytime they liked. But not him. Not since Voldemort had marked him.

When will the dawning break
Oh endless night
Sleepless I dream of the day

It did feel like an endless night. Death and destruction was all around. They walked hand in hand with Voldemort. His wand was a baton of death. No kill was big enough for him. No triumph would suffice. Except one. His own. Harry's. The Dark Lord would never rest until his nemesis was no more.

He was cruel, violent, unforgiving. He had committed terrible crimes against both the wizarding and muggle worlds. He was evil beyond all blackness in this world.

He launched terror into his enemies' hearts. He filled Harry's with fear. But the boy was not scared of death or desertion. He did not care for himself. He worried for his friends. He was the last hope. Dumbledore was gone. No-one else understood Voldemort as Harry did. Not the horcruxes. He knew the Dark Lord better than his followers. And yet he would never become one of them.

When you were by my side
Guiding my path
Father, I can't find the way

It was funny how a child always expected their parents to be there. Through every cut, bruise. Through tears and laughter. Their first love, marriage, the grandchildren.

He looked back at the assortment of photographs. These were all he had left of those who had brought him into this world. A world of anger, hurt and hatred. But also a world of love, friendship and sacrifice. He was stuck between the two. Voldemort pushed at him with hatred and pain. But he had his friends and the love his mother had protected him with when she had sacrificed her life.

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

"Mother, Father…" the words sounded foreign on his tongue. Like a rare silver, precious and hopeful. Yet they were also like coarse sand. His tongue tripped over them, as they came out as longing whispers. Two words that defined a person. Two definitions Harry could never truly say to another.

Born to those who have thrice defied him…
and they had. Their actions had chosen him as the person he was now destined to be. From their marriage to their ongoing fight against Voldemort. They had been so strong. But not strong enough. He was just a boy. They'd been Head Boy and Girl, how did he have a chance? Because he had love… their love. Their sacrifice. The greatest sacrifice one person, parent or not, could give to another. Their lives. Their everlasting, unconditional love.

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

There was little hope. But it was enough. Enough to keep them fighting. To make them rebel. He looked at a picture of the original Order of the Phoenix, standing, gallantly. Many of them had died now, others under the death eaters' curses. His Parents, Neville's, Sirius, Dumbledore… the list went on. Forever. Like a twirling river of death.

He knew he had to hold on. To defeat Voldemort. He couldn't just give up hope. His friends, his supporters, the good people needed him. They needed to be protected. He needed to end the terror of Voldemort's reign. He needed to avenge the deaths of his parents and so many others.

I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
And that the sun will rise

He knew that he could do this, to end the horrors of the war surrounding him. for he was selfless in this matter, the Gryffindor courage shone out through the fear hissing like the serpent of Slytherin. He must do this, he must end the killings. He had been born for this, to save both muggle and wizarding worlds alike. He couldn't let Voldemort defeat him now. He was needed.

I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine
And that the sun will shine

He walked over to his Hogwarts trunk, it was still packed from the last term, following Dumbledore's funeral. He held back another sob at the thought but refused to let the grief overcome him. Harry had a job to do.

I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
And that the sun will rise
I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine
And that the sun will shine

He flung some parchment off the trunk and into a waste bin. He knew he had to be ready. In two days he would be eighteen and then the spell would break. His mother's love that had protected him for so long. He would be defenceless, but he was ready now. Ready to die for the cause, the one Dumbledore had prepared him for. He had to kill Voldemort, he remembered. It seemed such a strange thing to be doing at this stage. He'd always been a forgiving, sparing person. Not lifting a fist to strike Dudley as he punched him. But this could continue no more.

I know
Yes, I know
The sun will rise
Yes, I know
I know
The clouds must clear

"I won't die," Harry insisted, "it will be his ending."

He said it in a tone that was stronger than how he felt, but as he said it, he began to believe it. Dumbledore had not set him on a lost cause. He knew it. Dumbledore had cared for him. He watched him, like James must have at one time.

I know that the night must end
I know that the sun will rise
And I'll hear your voice deep inside

"Father, Mother, I will do you proud." He said, grabbing items out of his trunk and placing them into his bag.

"I will end this bloodbath."

And Harry was ready, ready to complete the prophecy and fulfil his destiny.

I know that the night must end
And that the clouds must clear
The sun
The sun will rise
The sun
The sun will rise

It took me sooo long to finish this! Reviews please! :P

Love JLF xoxo