Losing Grip

by: Terrell James

Raph stayed in his room for a few hours and he's been thinking about what happened after the argument between him and Mike. The thoughts of it made Raph furious. He sighed angrily, turned on the CD Player, listened to Avril Lavigne and tries to escape all thoughts in his mind as the song comes on.

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?

Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real

Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?

Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,

waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare

That's when I decided

Why should I care

Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone

You, you need to listen, I'm starting to trip

I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

The thoughts of the argument got bigger and bigger and Raph started to feel more mad than never before. As the song went to the second verse, he still tried to get it over, but still felt so furious inside.

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place

when you turn around can you recognize my face, you used to love me,

You used to have me, but that wasn't the case

Everything wasn't ok, I was left to cry there

waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare

That's when I decided

Why should I care

Cuz you weren' there when I was scared I was so alone

You, you need to listen, I'm starting to trip

I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

Crying out loud I'm crying out loud

Crying out loud I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes

Open up wide

Why should I care

Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone

Why should I care

Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone

Why should I care

If you don't care, then I don't care we're not going anywhere

Why should I care

Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone

Why should I care

If you don't care, then I don't care we're not going anywhere

After the song ended, his thoughts grew more and more intense and started to feel more furious than ever. He screamed louder and more louder and threw stuff around the room. He was trashing parts of the room just to relieve anger, which doesn't help. After that, he sat down and tears streamed down on his face. Leo overheard Raph's screaming and thought about checking on him.

"Whoa, this looks like a tornado hit the place. What's up, Raph? Why did you scream?" asked Leo.

Raph sighed and said, "Nothing."

"Is it because of that stupid argument I had with you and Donny." said Raph.

"Oh, because of asking you to control your anger. We've been through this a million times. If your anger increases, pretty soon, it will turn really bad. You can't solve this problem on your own. You have to talk to someone about it." said Leo.

"Yeah, I guess. There are a few things that I can't deal with. Every issue builds up my emotions."

"Maybe you should talk to Splinter. He'll answer your problems."

Later, Raph walked towards the living room feeling a little bit guilty about starting the argument in the first place. Splinter looked at Raph and said, "Something troubles you, my son."

Raph sighed and said, "I feel like it's my fault for starting this stupid argument. I'm really sick of everything that makes me so furious. What do I have to do to stop myself for being so mad at my brothers?"

"You have to stop blaming everyone because of little things that might seem hard to understand or your brother's opinion. You need to respect and understand their different ways. If you do, your anger will grow from bad to worse and it will damage your spirit. So, you have to accept their decisions." said Splinter.

"I understand, Master. I try hard and I guess it wasn't good enough."

"Just try again."

"Thanks, Splinter."

Raph walks away and Splinter sighed to himself, saying "Kids."