Beetlejuice is a phenomenon. My poor human mind has difficulty understanding how someone could own Beetlejuice… Though as I am told, it is true, nonetheless. However, that person is not me, however I may wish it. Therefore… Come on. Just read and enjoy. Don't sue.

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"I really don't think this is a good idea." Adam Maitland reiterated, giving his most disapproving glance in the general direction of his longest running irritation. "I mean," He turned to Olivia, true concern etched in his features, "I'm assuming you haven't told them?"

"It's not exactly the kind of thing you tell your parents over the phone." The woman pointed out, equally grimly, doing her best not to look in the direction of the elephant in the room she was determined to deny. "Hey dad, Delia? You remember Beetlejuice, right?" She fell short of what to say here, just shaking her head, and glowering at the room in general.

"Trust me, Liv," The poltergeist assured her, taking a long drag of his cigarette, "They remember me." He was floating off to the side, lounged carelessly on his back about seven feet in the air, and only a couple from the ceiling. He seemed to be a good mood. He'd been in several of those lately. It was seldom reassuring. "So, what does the little woman have to say?"

Olivia face contorted in an expression that seemed quite a respectable fright mask, for one of the living. "I haven't told her yet…" She said quietly, the words barely escaping through her teeth.

Beetlejuice just grinned, counting that this would be interesting.

"There you are!" Lydia moved into the room like a presence all her own, somehow utterly otherworldly without stepping a toe out of the mortal coil. Beetlejuice would swear the room got marginally darker as she swept into it… She was glaring at Beetlejuice with open irritation now. He squirmed, wondering what had gotten under her skin this time.

But it seemed that for once, it wasn't him, because after the exasperated look she'd just cast him, she gave everyone else in the room a similar expression, taking in the general, 'there's just been a meeting you weren't invited to,' air. Her brow flew up in delicate little furrows, and then just as quickly, she sighed, relaxing, and giving up her right to be angry.

"Beej," She murmured instead, sliding into her chair, "Mom asked you not to smoke in the house."

He just grinned, took a particularly deep drag, and blew the smoke in her mother's general direction. "Your mom can bite me, babes." He informed her, in a lazy drawl. "Or you got a problem with it? You can bite me."

It might have been his imagination, but he swore she was fighting off a smile. "I might do that." She informed him, her words somewhere between irritated, and almost syrupy sweet. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Now she had Beetlejuice's attention. "Hell yeah," He agreed, moving a little closer, "You promise?" This high up, he could catch just about the best view down the front of her shirt… He flicked the cigarette away, no longer interested in it, and settled for hovering just above her head. Her mother flinched, but the brand extinguished itself long before it could hit anything that burned.

"What the two of you do behind closed doors…" Barb began, in what had become almost an anthem of hers, before saying shortly, "Behind closed doors, Beetlejuice!"

Beetlejuice paused, his hand halfway to his wife's lovely décolletage. He considered ignoring her, but then Lydia gave him an exasperated look too. With his wife, he was less willing to press it. He withdrew his hand. For now. "Whatever, Babs." He agreed, annoyed. He then stared pointedly at the ceiling for a while. No harm in letting his mind wander…

There was an awkward silence below, as any illusions that her family had had remaining of any distance she kept from Beetlejuice, gave its dying breath. She pointedly didn't look at them. For their sakes. "So, what's with the secret conclave?" She prompted, reaching for one of the cookies Barbara had made. "And since when am I not a part of it?"

This seemed to be exactly the wrong thing to say, because a morbidly heavy silence followed. Lydia finally looked up, considering one after another, and finally turning to the one person there who wouldn't hesitate to spread a little trouble. "Beej?"

"Hmm?" He glanced absently to the side, having just been in the middle of detailed plan of what he was going to do with her when he got her alone. It took a minute for his mind to click. "Oh. The in-laws are dropping by. Meeting the new member of the family." He gave a hoarse chuckle, and swept down a few feet, to stand. "Oughta be fun, what do ya say, babes?"

Lydia, despite her best intentions, despite closing her eyes to attempt to compose herself, twisted her lips in honest amusement. "That is not a good idea." She finally advised, unable to keep just a trace of amusement from her voice as well. "Grandpa's nerves are already a wreck, and…" She gestured absently with her hand, in Beetlejuice's direction. He gave a small bow, grinning. "He can do a number on anyone's mind."

"Thanks, babes." He ran a hand over his hair, slicking it in place smoothly. His grin was honestly flattered. "I just do my best… You know, go with my gifts and all." He slapped his hands together now, looking hungry. "So when are old Chuck and Delia coming, anyway?"

Even Lydia didn't know how to react to that. Then, she didn't have an answer, so she turned to her mother, who presumably did. Olivia looked pained. "Day after tomorrow." She whispered tightly. "I couldn't talk them out of it, without telling them why…"

Beetlejuice's laughter could have given the dead goose-bumps. Lydia turned in her chair, and considered her, to be perfectly honest, rather insane husband. "Beetlejuice…" She said softly, drawing his attention to her with a tone that could always get it. "Are you going to behave?"

He just grinned at her. "Hell no, babes." He assured her, matter-of-factly.

"Right." Lydia turned back around, and gave her parents her most tolerant smile. "I'll see if dad will let us stay at his place for a couple of days." She offered gently. Without turning to look, she knew Beetlejuice's face fell.

Olivia still looked unconvinced. "They're going to want to know why…" She pressed, though it was obvious that this was the only real solution available.

"It'll give you time to break it to them. Or for me to." Lydia stood, grabbing one last cookie. "Anyway, you can say that it's so there's an extra room. I mean, it used to be their room anyway, right?" A glance at her husband, and she pulled something out of her backpack. "Come on Beej, I finally found that book I was looking for. Sorry if I bored you… But it looks like fun."

Beetlejuice snorted, as if doubting this, but secretly he was intrigued. She did have a habit of finding the most tucked away things that were oddly, interesting…

He followed her without a word, certain that the mood in the kitchen lightened the moment he left, but far more interested in what she'd have to say next. Would she finally tell him what she'd been looking for? He tried to sneak a glance at the book, but she turned it smoothly into her thigh. After that, he was absorbed with watching the edge of her skirt sway.

She left him to close the door behind them, and fell on her bed in an extremely satisfied manner. The glance she gave Beetlejuice however, was distinctly disapproving. "You realize you just took off without a word, right?" She challenged silkily.

Beetlejuice shrugged. "You looked busy, babes. Didn't want to interrupt."

She drew her knees up, considering him with a small moue. "And here I thought you were never going to leave me alone… Something about making sure that guy never got within spitting distance of me, or something."

They both knew who she was referring to, and for a moment it spoiled Beetlejuice's mood. "I checked in on him," He said, a little shortly, "The good deputy was out of town." He bared his teeth at her in something resembling a smile. "You really think I'd let anything happen to you, babes?"

Lydia frowned at him for a long moment, finally relenting, and shaking her head. "Whatever, Beetlejuice." She mocked gently, using his own favorite excuse against him. "Anyway, come look at this." She shifted a little, twisting to reach the book.

"Oh, I'm looking, babes…" He murmured, admiring every flash of skin as she moved. He grunted as, annoyed, she threw the book at him. Catching it against his chest, he grudgingly turned his attention to the cover. His eyebrows lifted, only marginally interested. "Dark auras, Lyds? Come on. This is kid's stuff."

Grimacing, Lydia took the book from him, flipped through the first few pages, and settled on what she'd been looking for, tracing the words with her finger. "And so to the truly believing, the darkness becomes not a lack of light, but the promise of a living dimension unto itself. As the faith in what lies beyond sight deepens, so does this aura of shadow, which…"

"Allows the truly believing to see ever deeper into the world of the unexplained, and unknown." Beetlejuice mocked, cutting her off. "Come on Lyds, kindergarten stuff. That's a quote from the handbook for the recently deceased. Chapter one." He paused, taking the book in his hand, and adding, "Looks like those yuppies weren't the only ones careless with their copy…"

"Beetlejuice…" It was said very softly, with a note of much pressed patience. As usual with this girl, he had the feeling he was missing something, and waited to be informed of what it was this time. But instead she just shook her head, let him keep the book, and stood, looking tired. "Forget it. If you're not interested, I'm not making you read it. But this is the first time I've read this stuff."

Really? His eyebrows twitched in mild surprise. He would have figured her for knowing the handbook forwards and back. All he said aloud though, was, "Huh."

Lydia though, was no longer listening, already looking exhausted. She'd probably catch a few hour nap before she woke to enjoy the night… And what it offered. He grinned just a little at that thought. Time for him to find fun elsewhere though…

The truth was, he was getting good at sneaking out. He was gone before she could even get mad at him.

--

Edmond had never been one for the bar scene… But he needed a drink, and drinking alone was one of the warning signs he'd been told repeatedly to look for. It didn't make anything better that his son-in-law had recommended the place… He considered having a word with his daughter about that. In the meantime, he ordered a gin and tonic.

He was lifting the glass to his lips, when his eye caught a familiar striped coat sweeping in through the door, the sort of large presence that made everyone look up, at least briefly. "Speak of the devil…" Edmond muttered, taking a swig, and watching to see what happened next.

What happened next was that one of what he already recognized as regulars getting off her seat, and sweeping towards the ghost with a little bit of a stumble in her step. He'd never understood why guys like that got all the attention… But watched closely, now, for his daughter's sake.

"Sorry, doll." Beetlejuice was laughing softly, not objecting when she leaned up against him, but brushing her away dismissively the next moment. "I got a more recent model waiting at home." He paused, as if just now seeing Lydia's father, though the man was certain he'd been noticed the moment he walked in. "Chuck!" The ghost greeted him, showing every tooth. "How's my favorite father-in-law?"

For once, Edmond didn't correct the man about his name. Instead he took another drink, slowly, before noting, "I trust that's not why you come in here…"

"What?" The ghost gave him a look that practically dripped false innocence. "Ooooh. That." He smirked. "Come on, Chuck. Let's not be insulting. You know I already got the sweetest number in town wrapped around my little finger…" He pretended not to notice as her father gave him a long look, "I'm dead, not stupid!"

With this, he tapped on the bar, and ordered a whiskey, neat. Edmond shook his head, and went back to sipping his drink. He worried about Lydia. He did. But no matter what Beetlejuice claimed, he had the distinct feeling that it was actually him wrapped around her little finger. "Lydia throw you out again?" He asked aloud, testing his theory.

Beetlejuice gave him a glance that just about anyone else would have shied from. Instead, Edmond met it flatly, and smiled. After a moment, Beetlejuice was the one to look away, looking disgruntled. "Lyds wanted me to ask you if we could stay over your place for a couple of days." He muttered at last, lie that it was. Lydia had not asked him. Neither one of them had even known he'd seen the man before she did. "Something about Chuck and Delia staying over."

"Well," The man's eyes reflexively turned to his glass, "You're always welcome. Both of you." He paused, then stressed. "Together. Not that Lydia can't stay whenever she wants," He added, ordering another drink, "But you?"

The poltergeist gave him a feral grin. "Aw, dad. I'm hurt." He clutched his chest, adding, "Really."

Edmond looked at the mirror behind the bar, where he could see both of their reflections. Some proof that Beetlejuice was alive, or something close to it. "I think I preferred when you called me, 'Chuck.'" He noted aloud.

"Anyway," He finished his drink, and stood, tossing his tab on the bar, "I'm about finished here. A piece of advice? Don't get yourself drunk. Women hate that."

Beetlejuice downed his third shot of whiskey without flinching, and waved to the man absently. "Yeah, yeah… Thanks, dad. So hey," He lifted his head, a gleam of interest suddenly glinting in his eye. "What's with you going home alone? I mean, I know why I am," And again, that look of false innocence, "Bu you're a bachelor now, from what I understand. Papers signed, ties cut." He looked positively fiendish, well aware he was poking at sore points. "So why you pulling this drinking alone crap?"

Edmond gave his son-in-law a long, less than pleased glance. This time, Beetlejuice just grinned, not looking away. In the end, it was Edmond who did, and the poltergeist was pleased. Even Lydia didn't have the knack for staring him down every time. Hell if he was going to let this guy do it. "Goodnight, Beetlejuice." The man said flatly, turning his back in a deliberate manner, and leaving without another word.

Chuckling, Beetlejuice held up two fingers. He wanted a double this time. Then he'd go scare the hell out of some poor living fool further into town. Kill some time until Lydia woke up, and have a few laughs, doing it. He downed the drink, again, without flinching. Damn, this stuff was like water… Where could a guy get some good shit? He tossed a twenty on the bar, and left, mind already wandering ahead.

He hadn't given a real good scare since last Halloween… It felt like he was fucking retired. He lidded his eyes, and regarded the sky, which was only now beginning to take on its first hints of night. He welcomed the return of darkness. This whole day thing was beginning to wear a little thin.

Whistling to himself, he wandered aimlessly through the little town, until swirls of snow started spinning through the early spring air. Cold still didn't bother him, so he didn't take it as a sign to retreat. At the same time though, it didn't seem like he was likely to get in any good scares after all. The streets were, if the term could be excused, dead. "Had to be this little nothing of town," He muttered to himself, lidding his eyes against the snow, "Hell if it could be somewhere decent… Paris… Moscow… Detroit…"

Just as it seemed he was doomed to be bored, a small group emerged from the snow some length ahead, and he paused, curling his lip in a little bit of a sneer. Oh yeah. He knew them. They were the guys that had given Lyds the hard time a while back. They'd left her real upset… But she hadn't let him lift a finger against them.

Well, Lyds isn't here now, is she? He loved getting revenge for her. He was the whole reason she had a dangerous reputation now, and though the funny thing was, she loved it, she was always scolding him for it. Sometimes though, it led to people calling her things that were just plain hurtful… Well, he couldn't let that happen, could he? Might let people think they could get away with anything…

Clearing his throat, Beetlejuice adjusted his sleeves, put on his best smile, and then distorted it to something truly, deeply demented. His arms stretched out into something dead and hanging, and his pupils made his eyes grow wide and black, stretched far past the point where human eyes could open. His chest bulged a little, tugged, and ripped open completely, revealing internal organs that were long dead and decayed, and causing his rib cage to resemble a sort of sideways, toothy set of jaws.

Then he just stood there, waiting for them to see him. They slowed, growing closer, eyes narrowed to pick out who was standing there in the darkness. Someone disfigured looking. This was followed by nervous whispers, and even more nervous laughter, as they saw enough to if to decide it was some grotesque on display. Beetlejuice held perfectly still, not even breathing.

"Go on, touch it!" One of the guys pushed another, who stumbled, and laughed, a little more uneasily. "It's just rubber! Go on!"

Trying to grin bravely, trying not to shake, the boy held out on hand, finger extended, and poked the gray flesh of the thing before him. His smile quickly disappeared, as it felt real Very real. Then the creature took in a deep, shaky breath, rattling like someone's last. Even as his face paled, even as he began backing away, Beetlejuice reached out with his spidery fingers, and wrapped them in an iron grip around the kid's arm. "It's your turn…" He hissed throatily.

The kid screamed, even as his buddies ran, and fought the thing hanging onto his arm like it was about to drag him to hell. Twisting, bucking, turning… He finally managed to get loose, and turned to run, only to find the thing's arm still latched onto his own, no longer attached to its body.

He fell in a dead faint. With a twist of his shoulders, a chuckle, and a minor rearrangement of bones, it was soon Beetlejuice standing before the kid again, looking pleased with himself. "Think you got something of mine, kid." He noted aloud, reaching down to snag the dislodged limb. With a snap, a pop, this too was back in place, and quickly looking utterly normal.

There. Hell yeah. "Still got it…" He muttered to himself, putting his hands in his pockets, and heading back down the street. Lydia would be awake soon. And as good as he felt about himself, he was going to do his best to make sure she stayed that way a long, long time…

--

The bareness of her was warm, soft, draped against him. He could feel her breathing… Hell, could feel her heartbeat, even. She smelled different today, like apricots and white clover. Still smelled like her though. He decided he liked the change.

She murmured something in her sleep, grabbing for his arm with one hand, and looking like something was bothering her. He landed a light kiss between her eyebrows though, and any concern melted away, replaced by a look of pure bliss. A moment later, she opened her eyes, and saw him watching her. She squirmed a little closer against him, trying not to blush. "Damn. You do that every morning…" She whispered, the fondness of her tone betraying any annoyance she might try to summon.

Beetlejuice smirked, resting his head back on the pillow, and lidding his eyes. He felt good. He felt damn good. Like all was right with the world. Well, all was right with his world, anyway. What did he care about the rest of it? "Since when do you sleep so late?" He countered, playing with her hair between thumb and forefinger.

Lydia lifted one eyebrow at him, leaning over his reclining frame. "Since it's Saturday?" She reminded him dryly. A look of decided interest spread across his face at this, and he tried to count back through the days. She wasn't pulling one on him, was she?

Damn, who cared? So he'd bite. He grabbed her around the waist with both hands, and with a massive twist, rolling her unprotesting form beneath him. "Saturday?" The look of wicked delight on his face would have sent anyone else running. "As in the same Saturday where I keep you locked in your room until noon, and do my best to make you climb the curtains?"

Her face flushed bright red, but he swore there was an invitation in her eyes, and like hell he was passing that up. He came in for a deep, almost savage kiss, assured he would slow down in a minute, after he had his first taste of her. She liked this lip gloss that was vaguely sweet, and a little minty… And he liked it too, sucking on her lower lip gently for a full minute, while his hands slipped beneath the blankets to explore her hidden form.

Lydia laughed, and lifted her arms to wrap around his shoulders… Only for both of them to stiffen, and not in the preferred way, at a knock on the door. "Go away," Beetlejuice growled, ready to turn violent in a heartbeat if they didn't obey, "We're busy!"

But already Lydia was squirming away, giving him an apologetic kiss on the chin as she reached for her bathrobe. He watched her hungrily as she slipped it on, then grunted, turning his back to her, and pointedly staring at the far wall. If he thought about her too much, he'd just…!

A low murmur of something at the door, he ignored it. He hoped whoever it was looked in the room, and caught sight of him draped across his wife's bed. And most of all, he waited for them to go away.

"Beetle-fucking-juice!" He winced, just a little. This was Lydia's voice, and she was not happy. Something hit him in the next breath, and he swore, exploded. "My god, are you trying to get us killed?"

His hand reached sullenly for whatever she'd thrown at him, and landed on one of several sheets of newspaper, now strewn about his resting body. It was pretty easy to find the one she was referring to, there was even a picture of the street to accompany it. And in bold letters, 'Local Phantom Reappears.' "Phantom?" He muttered aloud, annoyed, "Are they fucking kidding me?"

"Beej…" It was a groan this time, as she practically collapsed beside him, looking as upset with him as she'd been in a long time. "You don't think Juno's going to hear about this? Hell, you don't think Garin's going to hear about this?" She gestured at the paper wildly. "Are you trying to give everyone in this world and the next, reason to hate us?"

"Hate me, babes." He pointed out reasonably, discarding the paper like it was of little concern. "Far as I know, no one's got a problem with you yet."

Lydia just shook her head, staring at the curve of her knee as if it understood her better than he ever could. "This isn't normal, Beej." She said at last, very softly. He looked at her in surprise, since when had she given a damn about normal? But she wasn't finished yet, lifting her eyes a moment later to meet his. "You, me? A marriage between the dead and the living? I can't imagine how many rules we're breaking…"

"Loopholes, Lyds." He denied, dismissing this with a shrug, and a stretch. "I know them all."

"Beetlejuice! Damn you, take this seriously!" This shocked him into listening seriously, at least for a moment. Hell, she looked like she was going to cry… "I don't want to lose you, don't you understand?" She grabbed him by both shoulders, tucking her smaller body into the curve of his. "I love you, you idiot… And they're just looking for a chance to take you away!"

Her words hit him with such force, it felt like someone had knocked him over the head. He swore, stars danced behind his eyes… She loved him? What the hell? What had brought that on? She'd never said it before… Sure, he kind of figured it went without saying… But why now? Like this?

Beetlejuice's hand went to cup the small of her back, without thinking. So what, was he supposed to say it now too? Mushy stuff wasn't his style… It wasn't that he didn't love her, but she had to know that, right? "M' not going anywhere." He mumbled into her hair, breathing it in. "Promise."

"Stupid, stupid…" She hit his chest a couple of times with the sides of his fists, before finally going quiet in his arms. She didn't cry, which was a relief to him. But she did hold on like she'd never let go.

Then she drew back, even as his hands were reluctant release her, and came in for his lips with a intensity that took his breath away. Her hands devoured him, like she was memorizing every inch of him with her touch, and when he would have willingly flipped her beneath him, she pushed him down on his back instead, and continued initiating every caress.

"You," She hissed between her teeth, still looking angry, but passionate as well, in a way born from that anger, "Are mine, Beetlejuice. Mine to bend, mine to break, and mine to keep. Understand?" He could only nod, utterly shocked by this change in her. Overwhelmed as she had her way with him, and he had no desire to stop her. And deciding there was something to be said for this new, more aggressive Lydia.

She wore herself out first though, when he would have enjoyed playing their new game for a little longer, so he willingly took over, his touch a tender counterpoint to her aggression, until they'd both had their fill. Then she just lay there, head tucked into the groove of his neck, breathing hard, utterly exhausted. "Bit off a little more than you could chew?" He growled gently, nipping at her fingers. "You are mine, Lyds… Mine to bend, mine to break, mine to keep. Understand?"

A breathless 'yes' escaped her, and he chuckled. Good. That settled that. He hugged her hard against him, and closed his eyes, listening to her breathing as it slowed, and gradually fell into the gentle breaths of a sleeper. He still wanted to laugh.

He'd changed his mind. Maybe he was a good influence on this girl…

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