Lessons Learned.

Lost. A phrase I never really grasped the meaning of before.

Cold. A feeling far beyond any physical sensation.

Alone. It's a word I had used many times before but it never meant so much to me as it does now.

Lost, cold, alone. Words I used to think I knew the meaning of. How naïve was I to think I had experienced them before? No, I've never truly been lost in a world so familiar to me before now. No, I've never felt the piercing cold ace in my heart that's throbbing in my chest right now in my life. No, I've never truly been alone, even when I thought I was there was always someone there for me. And now I've realized just how stupid I was to think I knew what these words meant. But I know now, and I wish I didn't.

A tear runs down my cheek. It's ridiculous to wish, to dream, to hope. Those types of things are fleeting; they come and go with the tide. Loneliness is an echoing void of darkness that swallows you whole and refuses to let go. You're lost in its depths, completely alone in its cold, dark, emptiness. Loneliness has no room for wishes and dreams, they aren't reliable, only pain. Pain is the only certainty in life I've come to know, along with loneliness. And it's the only thing I can rely on to always be there for me.

Life's a bitter road, full of disappoints, the only thing you can count on is despair. And if you fill your head with fairy tales of love, trust, and friendship, then life's harsher realities will hit you with even more force. I learned that the hard way, and now I'm sorry I ever did.

But innocence is just as fleeting as wishes, life moves to fast for you to be held back by it. Nothing can ever last. People build up their lives on lies they hear from others, never realizing just how easy it is to make them fall. Take one card from the base and the whole house comes crashing down. Break their wishing and their hearts and see how well they stand.

They say that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I don't believe that at all. I believe that what doesn't kill you will leave you weak, struggling for air and groping around in the darkness. We spend all our lives searching for a reason and never realize we've found it until it's gone. I was always too caught up in tide to realize where I was going until it was too late. The foundation for my entire existence crumbled around me.

Things like love and friendship are the greatest weaknesses a person can have. Just open your heart and watch it get torn to shreds.

Life's a cruel and hurtful thing. I wish I'd known that sooner…

A/N: This just randomly came into my head as I was typing. Try and figure out who it's about. Hope you liked it! R&R.