Chapter 2: Eyes to Search Your Soul, Claws to Rip Out Your Heart.

Summary: Laura and Cessily think about what went on in Cessily's bedroom earlier.

Disclaimer:I don't own any of the X-Men or Marvel universe. If I did I wouldn't be writing fan fiction.

Author Note:Okay, so I couldn't keep it at just a OneShot. I had to write more. But I think I'll make it so that each chapter could stand alone as a OneShot. Of course this one is a bit of a sequel, but you could still start reading here and get the gist of what happened. This one is still set after the Mercury Falling story, and before the next. It's just a very LARGE grey area... Enjoy guys!

I had to get out of that room. So silly, it was my room, so why should I have to escape it?

Because everything in there reminds you of what happened.

Such a stupid little nagging voice in the back of my head. I thought I had pushed that away when... Well okay, so I kissed Laura, or she kissed me. I don't remember who started it, I think it was a mutual thing. The voice reminds me that this is wrong, that I am wrong. Screw the voice. I had to get out of that room so badly. I closed the door, perhaps a little rougher than was necessary, and walked- well, okay, stomped- into the rec area. Santo was there. God, It's a good thing I don't ever get red eyes from crying.

"Hey, Cess, how ya feelin'?" he asked, not looking at me for but a second before turning back to the television, which was turned to the Wrestling Federation channel. Guys and their violent T.V. shows... It's so stupid.

"Fine," I lied, sitting on the couch and staring at the screen, not really seeing the program. I still couldn't escape my thoughts, though. Had I initiated the kiss? Was that what Laura had wanted? Did she just go with it because she didn't know how to react? Why did she leave? Did she hate me now?

I sincerely hoped that Laura didn't hate me, she was nice... In her own way, of course, but none the less.

And how did I feel about what we- I- did? Did I like it? Did I do it just because I needed comfort and was reaching out? I tried to think about what I was feeling at the time. Warm, safe... beautiful... loved--

"Hellooo?" Santo's voice broke my thoughts into a thousand pieces like a mirror thrown on the ground, "Anyone home, Cess?"

"What?" I snapped at him, a little annoyed to be interrupted.

"I just asked if you wanted to change the channel," he sounded hurt, "are you sure you're okay?"

"I said I was fine," I said, getting up to find somewhere else to think, "Just trying to... forget things." he left me alone then, and I left the rec area, too afraid to go outside, too scared to go back to my room, and definitely staying out of range of any telepaths. Especially Miss Frost.

Oh, god. Miss Frost. I'd at least managed to forget that she was the one who walked in on Laura and I. Why had she come in anyway? She looked like she was going to say something, had she read my thoughts? Did she know what was going through my mind at the time?

What a stupid question. Of course she knew. Now I was debating on weather to ask her what she heard, or to avoid her entirely. I wasn't exactly on good terms with Miss Frost. I had yelled at her on several occasions, and I doubted she would be so forgiving. But what had she heard in my head? Would she tell anyone? She did used to be a villain...

Ooh, screw it! I needed to see for myself what she had heard. I needed to see Miss Frost.

Emotions were never so complicated before. There was pain, and then there was the feeling of a newly healed wound. Now there was pain, but it wouldn't heal. It was the kind of pain that throbbed in my chest, making it harder and harder to breath. It felt almost like suffocation. I tried to focus on breathing, on calming all my muscles and relaxing. Doing this only made my thoughts wander to Cessily.

She hated me in all probability. I sucked in breath through my clenched teeth. Thoughts like that brought more pain. But those were the thoughts that came. I had taken advantage of the moment, I had done something she didn't want. I didn't realize a was growling until Sooraya put a hand on my shoulder.

"Laura?" her eyes showed worry, "Are you well?"

I nodded, this was not a lie, I was in no physical pain. But then what wasthe pain I felt? I think I would rather be shot up the ass than live with this kind of pain. I shook my head to clear it, but it only confused Sooraya.

"I do not understand..." she began, tilting her head to the side in a gestual or quizical nature.

"It is not something you can understand." I stated, getting up and heading for the the door of our dorm room, "Thank you for your concern, Sooraya." I thanked her and then left. Maybe if I found Cessily I could clear this up, apologise to her, hold her again... look into her liquid eyes, always full of expression... I contemplated weather or not to stab myself. I would just heal anyway. And the pain I was used to would be better than this new kind of pain. I searched for a closet, someplace that no one used and wouldn't look for me in. I found the janitorial closet and quickly looked around to make sure no one could see me before slipping inside and closing the door. It was dark, but that didn't matter, I focused on slowly letting my claws out, it was more painful that way. I could feel the hole they made between my knuckles, could feel it getting bigger as the claws slid out. I made sure not to make noise that would give me away, even though I knew no one would find me anyway, and then I laid the blades of my claws against the skin of my arm- Just right above the wrist. I applied a little pressure and felt a little blood form in two neat lines, it wasn't painful enough.

Maybe I should cut off my hand. I'd done that before...

"So violent..." I heard a voice from outside the door and quickly sheathed on claws, eyes focused on the door, "Who is it?"

"Someone hurting." it sounded like the same voice, but it was slightly different? Who was outside the door? I had to check, but how to do so without causeing suspicion as to why I was there?

"Back away from the door, it's coming out."

How did they know that? I tried to run the possibilities in my head, trying to match the voice to a face I might remember.

"It's Mindee, Phoebe, and Celeste." three voices said in unison. the same voice, but three times over. The telepaths. Shit. I opened the door and slowly came out, looking from each one to the other and back again, trying to gauge their reaction. It looked to be one of bemusement.

"Oh, it's the clone." Said one, I couldn't tell.

"She's in pain..." another tapped it's chin thoughtfully.

"But she hasn't had this kind of pain before."

This was getting slightly annoying, "Go away." I stated blankly. trying to keep my mind blank of anything that they could possibly pick up. They all looked at me with that stupid, bemused, expression on their faces- Just like Frost- and then one began to circle me in an almost predatory way while the other two looked on, smirking. I tried to follow her with my head, but I couldn't twist my neck far enough to see behind me.

Then I felt her fingers on my arm, tracing the place where I had just before tried to cut myself, "Hm, she wants to numb the pain..."

"... With physical hurt." one of the others finished, I didn't see who it was, I had squeezed my eyes shut to try and keep patient. I felt the fingers caressing my knuckles and I involuntarily clenched my fist. They all giggled. Such an annoying sound. "Why is she in pain? Why won't she let us see?" I thought of what I didn't want them to see, and then hated myself for falling for that stupid trick. I opened my eyes to see the three of them standing in front of me, looking quizzical. "She likes the Kincaid girl, but she doesn't know if the girl likes her back?"

"no, she thinks that..." they stopped and looked at me again, the amusement was on their faces again, "Well, she has nothing to worry about," I hated how they were talking about me like I wasn't there, "if she was smart she'd go see Miss Frost. The Kincaid girl is with her..."

I shoved past the three girls, reminding myself to ask Logan how he shields his mind.

"It's none of my business how you live your life, or who you choose to make out with." Miss Frost said cooly over the top of some papers she was filing. Since when did a telepath need to file papers anyway?

"It's just, not..." I began, but I couldn't finish. Miss Frost did for me anyway.

"Not something you want everybody to know." she sighed and looked like she had a headache, "Cessily, I know how to keep a secret."

I sat, twisting my fingers in my lap, and didn't dare to look up at her, or even to breathe.

"Is there something else you want?" she asked, taking the seat across from me in the headmaster's chair and pressing the tips of her fingers together like a steeple.

"I... just wanted to know... what Laura was..." I struggled to find words that didn't make it sound like I was prying, "What she was... thinking?" Miss Frost quirked an eyebrow at me and just looked at me for the longest time. I couldn't tell if she was in my mind or not, so I tried not to think of anything offensive that might make her mad.

Finally she said, "Why don't you just ask her yourself, she's looking for you." I mumbled something like, 'okay' and, 'thank you' and then went out the door. Right as I opened it I ran into Laura.

"L-Laura what are you..." I spotted some dried blood on her arm and hand just then and, without a second thought, reached for it, "What did you-"

"She cut herself," Miss Frost supplied from where she sat, "now, can we please not do this in my office?" I apologised and pulled Laura away, closing the door behind me. I could hear Miss Frost sigh from outside.

"How did you cut yourself?" I asked, studying the dried blood, it was a bit smeared, but there was no mark as to where it had actually happened. Of course, healing factor.

"With my claws." Laura shrugged, not looking me in the eye, with I took as a bad sign.

"You... did this on purpose?" She did hate me. It's all my fault...

"Yes."

"Why? Why did you do that?"

"To stop the pain." That confused me, I looked at Laura, she had her face turned away from me and I gently turned it towards mine with my other hand.

"You hurt yourself to forget your pain? Why were you in pain?" I swallowed hard, probably knowing the answer already.

"Because you hate me." I blinked and looked into Laura's eyes hard for a minute, trying to decipher what she meant.

"I hate you? I don't remember saying that." she shrugged and tried to look away from me but I turned her face towards me again, "I thought that you hated me..." I explained, sadly.

"I don't hate you, Cessily..." Laura put her hand on the one I had holding her face and looked me in the eyes this time. I studied them for a moment. Green, like gemstones, or like pine trees. Hard to believe these eyes had seen more death than most our age, right now they were warm and kind. I imagined they would be hard and cold when she had killed. It made me shiver and break the trance, "Are you okay?" Laura asked, dropping her hand from mine and placing it awkwardly on my shoulder.

"Just thinking," I explained, looking down at her arm one more time before I looked back at her face, "It's nothing."

"What were you thinking about?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"You." I shrugged. Whoops. Had I said that aloud just then? I must have, since the corners of Laura's mouth twitched in a smile. I had to change the topic, "So..." brilliant conversation starter, "We don't hate each other?" I asked.

"No," Laura agreed, smiling fully now.

"We don't blame each other for... anything at all?" I had to make sure.

"No," well, that was a relief.

"So..." Again, with the brilliance, "What are we?" That was a little weir to ask. We're mutants, freaks, new X-men... Any/all of the above would have sufficed for an answer, but the one I got shocked me into silence.

"In love." it was so innocent the way she said it, and I swear she could've ripped my heart out then and there and I couldn't have cared less. She already seemed to have it, anyway.

A/N: Well, there ya have it Kiddos! You know what I notice? I seem to make people in my fan fictions cutters... I don't know WHY, it just happens. I promise it won't happen again. In this story anyways... So... could any of you possibly leave feedback? I really does help my writing and such. Plus it's always amusing when I get a notice for it (At least, my family members say so...), as I jump around excitedly. So help a sistah out?