A/N: I wish I was twenty one, then I could blame this horrid little thing on alcohol, but no. All blame for writing this must go to me. I would, however feel fair in giving at least part of the blame to Neo the Sayan angel, to whom this fic is dedicated, for giving me the plot bunny that held a gun to my head and forced me to write this.

The Path of the Yono
By MaceEcam

This is not what Monkey Fist was expecting when he agreed to follow the path of the Yono.

Ultimate power, sure. That was a given. But he didn't think he'd get turned to stone if he was defeated, and he certainly wasn't expecting this. It was all Stoppable's fault.

Stoppable. The pretender. How could such a bumbling fool like him be the chosen one? I mean really, the boy couldn't even keep his pants on (and not like how other teenage boys can't keep their pants on these days). Yet every time Monty came close to the ultimate power that BOY would show up and steal it from under him!

It wasn't fair. Monkey Fisk had started looking for the Mystical Monkey Power that they boy and his woman kept referring as "MMP", since the days when he was still Monty Fisk.

He had started out as the son of an archeologist specializing in Egyptian artifacts. It was there, in a chamber hidden beneath one of the great pyramids, that the first of the stone monkey statues had been found. How it had baffled his father that the stone was so out of place? How could a stone clearly Japanese in design be under an Egyptian pyramid.

His father was always one of little imagination, one who would rather ignore certain facts instead of risk changing history. A pitiful trait for an archeologist, but one that worked toward Monty's favor. He begged his father not to throw the idol away, but to keep it hidden if he must. The was just something about the statue that drew Fisk to it.

His father relented. Fisk the began the study of Japanese history in secret, along with the lessons in Egyptian history. When that failed, he turned to Japanese mythology instead. For years he read in secret, until eventually he found what he was looking for. A single page, in a book left old and forgotten on a self in the university he now attended, told him what he needed to know. Over the years of course he had gained more books and scrolls over the matter, but for now, this was it. In this one book, on this one single page, it was given mention of a lost power, and of four stone idols that unlocked it.

Fisk then spent the next seventeen years searching for the remaining idols in secret. He majored in archeology, and then went on to teach at the University of London. From time to time he would lecture at the University of Paris, or Cambridge in America. He became a well-respected member of the archeological society, at least on the outside. But he never forgot his hunt.

Then his father died. His mother had already been gone since he was a little boy, and now with his father dead he had nothing to keep him to the world. And so he sank out of sight of the archeological community, out of notice. Upon moving into the old family home, he fired off all of the employees save one, the butler. In secret, he paid a geneticist to give him monkey hands and feet. He began learning Monkey Kung Fu.

Within ten years he had gathered the other idols together, and had filled himself with the Mystical Monkey Power. That's when he showed up. The pretender. He and his pet rat had stolen the power from him, he who deserved it, had been searching his whole life for it. He had taken it and defeated him without knowing any Kung Fu, much less Monkey. And worse, he had destroyed the idols so that the power was lost to Fist forever. All he had was what he had absorbed before the pretender had arrived.

No matter, he thought. In his studies he had found other sources of Mystical Monkey Power. He would get those, starting with a legendary magic sword named the Lotus Blade.

Alas, the pretender got in his way. Again. What he had been doing in Japan Fist didn't know, but the facts remained the same. He had lost a second time to the pretender.

No matter, there's always the Monkey Amulet-

But no, this time the pretender's woman stole the power from him. So embarrassing.

Then there was the book. He had lost that to the pretender as well.

And finally his two great defeats. The pretender had taken the Han from him, and was raising it as a sister. And then Fist had raised the Yono, the opposite of the Han. And he had sworn to fallow the path of the Yono without even asking what that involved doing. And he was defeated, and now here he was.

"Oh, Monty" A deep voice came from around the corner. As the talking Monkey turned around the corner, Yono the Destroyer silently slid off his robes revealing his nude form below. Suddenly Fist found himself able to move again, no longer made of stone. But he knew it wasn't for long, he would return to being a statue as soon as his...task...was complete.

Sighing, he slid off his Gi top and bottoms, along with his underwear. As Yono gazed up and down Fist's body, the deity licked his lips and offered one word.

"Word"

Monkey Fist sighed.

This is not what Monkey Fist was expecting.