This chapter's for Lysiaamazon and Aldalena, who are both insanely awesome. lol. :D TY TY TY TY! -glomps-

Added note to Aldalena: I had a review cut off too! -gasp- We'll get fanfic, I swear it. :P

All you reviewers are! xD

Warnings: .... o.o ... Um... I DON'T FREAKING KNOW! The lemon's not as awesome as it could be? -shrugs-

Birth of The Phoenix - Chapter Five

I am Rufus Shinra, heir to the throne of the planet. I've crashed, I've burned, and I'd been pulled from depths that even I could not comprehend. Perhaps what they say of phoenix's hold some merit, in that no matter how fierce the fire burns, they are able to salvage their lives and rekindle themselves from the very ashes they had intended to bury themselves in.

--

I stared down at the folded note on my desk and my stomach willed me not to read it. Tseng, in all the time he had worked for me... worked with me... had never been late. Today, he was yet to be seen, and a note with my name in such delicate handwriting was perched upon my desk...

He'd left...

Last night he had held me so gently, healed me so lovingly... and now he'd fled... My head spun slightly with an overwhelming miriad of emotions that even I was unable to hold a grasp over. Instead, I leant forward on my desk and grasped the mahogany so tightly that my fingernails began to bend under the pressure, and the pain shot in bursts up my arms. I can't understand how it is possible to feel pain when the world is falling... breaking around you... I shook slightly before sitting gingerly in my seat. My wounds still ached with every movement, and I had asked Elena's assistance this morning in concealing my marks. I went to her each time, and she never once asked how my pale skin had become so battered. She would wordlessly apply the foundation required to conceal the blemishes of my family life, and her eyes would cry out to me in a silent plea to deny that it was what she thought, what she feared, and naturally, what it was. I never gave it to her, and she spoke of it to no one. I knew she didn't, because she was the type to wear her heart openly on her sleeve, and I loved her for it. Reno knew also, for that I am sure, and perhaps it was further confirmed this morning when I awoke to find him in my apartment. How he had entered, I was not sure, but he was there, and he had left as silently as he had arrived after realising I had awoken. Yet, he too said nothing, and I loved him for that also. My Turks. A lifeblood, an unstoppable force, a chain of command and logic and sharp intelligence completely at my command. As far as I was concerned however, their importance lay further, in being the only true family that I could hold dear to me. As loyal as the dogs of war they were, they would never leave me. They would love me and cherish me for all that I was, and the vision that I held for their futures.

Then why, why was the only one who surpassed them all in what I had sacrificed, no longer willing to be by my side? Perhaps the others knew that his loyalties lay with my father, as I had always feared, and they had simply neglected to inform me. Perhaps in an ideal world, he really had felt for me as I did for him, and he had simply left in fear. Ideal world... ha... How can such a bitter and painful situation possibly offer any remnants of ideality? I could answer my own question however... Because in my circumstance, regardless of Tseng's, he was gone... Even if I forced every shred of effort I held into building a poisonous and consuming bitterness, that solitary fact would remain. He was gone. But, in such a situation, perhaps I clung to the hope that he had cared enough to looj out for me as he did, and simply left me for fear of hurt... of pain... I was a timebomb, for that I was certain, as I knew that those around me would undoubtedly fall, the longer their footsteps fell in my shadows. A knock resounded at my door then, as one of my underdogs themselves stepped onto the threshold. Reno's fiery locks, though usually wild and untamed, were moreso than usual. The darkness that hovered beneath his eyes on so many occassions were significantly defined this morning, and lead me to believe that whatever sleep he had achieved, if any, had not been pleasant.

"Reno..."

"Good morning, sir. I brought you your latte, yo..." Reno said quietly, before placing my mug upon my desk, his eyes pointedly avoiding mine. Then, in a fleeting moment, his gaze met mine with a raw intensity that shook me to the core. In typical Turk style, he had seemingly seen through the barricade I had so recently erected, and so lead me to believe that he knew...

"Where, Reno?"

"I don't underst-"

"Where?!" I snapped, perhaps a little too coldly for my own liking, "Where did he fuck off to? You know all, don't you red?"

Reno's eyes flared angrily, and for once in my life, I had paid no heed to boundaries as I took a leap and bound across the unspoken one that Reno had set.

"How could he leave me so freely? I own him. He's mine. He might be a piece of trash, but it's my trash can that he dragged his sorry ass out of..." I spat, as my own words reverberated in my ears, barely making sense even to myself, "Well? Answer me! Do you understand?!"

The redhead stepped forward, and I had little to no time to react, as his fist connected firmly with my cheek. I nearly fell from my chair, only managing to remain upright by clinging to my desk. I raised my eyes then to meet Reno's, and found the cerulean blue glaring intently. He remained still and silent for a few moments, seemingly catching his words in his throat.

"Don't you ever speak of him like that... Ever... Do you understand, you selfish little bastard?" Reno hissed, as his own fingernails began to press into the polished wood's surface. I had apparently hit a sore nerve of the redhead's, and it did little more in my current state than unsettle me...

"I don't even want to think about what he might be going through for the sake of you, yo..." He said coldly, before turning and heading for the door once again. He paused as he reached it however, and turned to face me.

"You're not the only one keeping secrets, Goldilocks... Seems like the whole Shinra empire has a lot to hide..." He said flatly, leaving as quickly and as quietly as he had come.

I raised a finger to my lip and realised that I had indeed split it open when Reno had punched me. If the dull ache in my jaw was any indication, he damn near had dislocated it also. Even through the ringing pain, I felt a sense of pride that my Turk, my brother, had such a highly tuned weapon within his own body. But... what had he meant? What was it that had been kept secret from me? But perhaps it hadn't...

My fingers edged towards the letter, and I opened it slowly.

Rufus,

I sincerely hope that you hold no concern in your thoughts for me like those I held for you upon leaving. Because of this, I have chosen not to tell you of my whereabouts. In truth, I can not tell you also because I am not entirely sure where I will be myself... Estimated guesses can hold only so much truth... I can only hope within myself that you will not hear anything within the coming days, perhaps even longer, that may reflect a negative message of my welfare...

Rufus... there is much that I intended to share... I am unable to assure that it is possible however... There is a tea blend within my desk drawers that shall assist in your swift recovery. For my sake, I can only hope that your recovery is exactly that... swift...

Rufus... for my sake also, I ask that you consider these words thoroughly- you are not your father. You never will be, and you never can be. For that, I am eternally grateful, for your father is a bitter and demented individual. He is not one to be regarded highly, nor is he deserving of the love he so openly demands. He holds no prospect, or prosperity, and it is in my belief that his poisonous actions will become his own demise. You Rufus... You are. You are capable of achieving the highest of achievements, and many more that are yet to be unearthed by you. For that, you will always have my everything. My complete devotion as your Turk and as your guard, my complete loyalty as your friend, and my thoughts, my wishes and my heart as the person who held you in the highest regard above everything. I only wish that it was a certainty to tell you this in person, but I make no guarantees. I apologise, and emplore you not to mourn a loss that may not have yet occured.

Rufus, take care.

With my love,

Tseng.

I fell back into my chair and rested my elbows on the desk, my head cradled within my palms. It was difficult to determine when the tears of biterness and consuming anger began to fall, and even harder to envision them ever stopping. Tseng had crashed into my life head strong, and had effectively broken me down to the shell I was as I shuddered with sobs against my own desk. I don't think I even knew what I was crying about... what I was crying for... it had somehow ended up being the final straw in a long line of emotional bruising that had finally surfaced. I was like.. a glass... the more you filled me up with soda, the more you were able to see the contrast with what that glass was meant to look like, and everything that was beginning to foam and rise within it... Until eventually, the soda filled up the glass and there was no where left for it to hide...

A heavier burden settled then, my logic finally managing to break the chains restricting it, as the realisation struck me hard that perhaps Tseng was as loyal as he had ever been...

"You're not the only one keeping secrets, Goldilocks... Seems like the whole Shinra empire has a lot to hide..."

The whole empire... My father...

My head continued spinning, even as the world around me stopped...

--

Two tortuous days, with no word, no signs... nothing... It appeared that none of the Turks had remained oblivious to the lack of their leader, and any reassurances my father offered to them were quickly doused by Reno's explanations shortly after. Shinra was a fool. Blood runs thicker than water, and the Turks were my family. Whatever he intended to offer as an explanation was nothing more than the watered down ramblings of an outsider. He was no father of mine, and he was no leader to my Turks.

"Reno..." I said flatly, as the redhead slipped into the room un-announced.

"Yes sir?" He replied just as evenly, his eyes dull and lacking their flair of hope and enthusiasm. Tseng made the Turks...

"What do you think they're doing to him?"

"Rufus..."

"I sit here and pretend to every one else that things are running well, when all I can find myself thinking of is-"

"Rufus."

This time it was a little firmer, a little more forceful. I met his gaze once again, and expected to be greeted with the fire I had become so accustomed to receiving with every notion of self loathing, or the mourning of a name neither of us dare mention. Instead, his expression was soft and understanding as he slowly sunk into the chair across from mine.

"Don't you dare give up on the thought of him now..." He said slowly, and it was evident how far gone his body was with fatigue. I was a little concerned with how thin the redhead had become within the space of a mere few days, and his skin had begun to pale significantly. We needed our Turk.

"Never..." I reassured softly, and the redhead nodded, taking a swig of the coffee he had just set upon my desk, before leaving without another word.

--

The enemy himself was staring back at me as I adjusted my tie in the mirror. I tried desperately to reassure myself that there was nothing I could do, and nothing I could have done. If I made any form of action, they would be sure that he had come to me, and anything and everything he had suffered would have been for nothing. Reno had entered my office last night and had sat me down on the sofa I'd had put in only a few hours before. He'd simply sat beside me and told me everything. He told me of the motions of that night... How Tseng had disappeared, why he had disappeared, and the steps that Reno himself was now expected to take... There were suggestions of a coup d'état instigated by the Turks, with Reno himself as their leader. The redhead had disagreed however, as their beliefs remained that the system's strength lay in time. In effect, once I had reached the status of president, their concerns would be abolished. The agreement of the assassination of Shinra had been reached, and yet the approval could not been granted by the one person who had the authority below my father... Tseng himself. I understood now. The Turks had never been mine. They had been my family, my brethren, my lifeforce... but they belonged to one man and one man alone. Tseng. He was to be compared to a godfather, where no one within the family were to step out of line without suffering the adequate consequence. It remained something of little concern however, as the commander was respected far too much to even provoke an uprising. In effect however... I did own them, for I owned Tseng...

My musings were interrupted, as Reno slipped in once again un-announced. His appearance was different from each and every time his pale form had flitted into view these past few days. The shadows that had so mercilessly lurked within his eyes had disappeared, and there was a glint of... hope...

"Reno..."

"I can't say a lot, yo... but... he's alive..." He said simply, and with that, he offered a fleeting smile, before disappearing once again. There was nothing left to do but wait.

--

It was all I could do to simply concentrate on the task at hand. Reno had not been seen for the entirity of the day, and there had been murmured concerns that a mass desertion was coming into play. No, this couldn't happen... I narrowed my eyes on the sheets of paperwork before me, as the all too familiar thought of a piercing brown gaze and ebony locks haunted my consciousness. I reclined when the realisation struck that work was a hopeless cause. My eyes fluttered closed as my hands were placed behind my head, a position I had found increasingly fitting when my mind threatened to engulf me in the thoughts I dared not to voice.

"What would you have me do?" I murmured, as I pinched the bridge of my nose, my free hand idly resting atop the pile of complications that was the paperwork before me.

"Preferably not work yourself to death..." Came the reply, as my eyes snapped open of their own accord, and fixated on the figure who had silently slipped through my office door. I said nothing, and he smiled slightly, although his face was darkened with bruising and fatigue. I stood then, and he shook his head.

"You've lost weight..." He murmured, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Apparently, so have you..."

He seemed amused by this, as his lips curled up slightly more. My head, my heart, my lungs... they were all over the place as the figure before me nodded slightly. He was alive. He was alive and he was standing with all of his beauty before me, like I had prayed to Gaia that he would... I moved to stand before my desk, and he remained where he was, as if we were currently in a stand off that neither one of us was intending on winning.

"You're an idiot..." I murmured, and he shook his head.

"No, I am a fool. A fool, but not an idiot..."

"I see no difference."

"I took the most beneficial decision that was offered to me, and I hold no regrets. My decision has kept us alive, so I am no idiot..."

"Then how is it that you are a fool?"

"I became a protector above a guard..." he said softly.

It was a simple statement, and yet the meaning behind it reverberated through me in a way that I myself was uncertain of. Had I have been paying more attention, perhaps I would have noticed the droplets of blood dripping onto the office carpet sooner, but it had been then that they were drawn to my attention. He followed my gaze then to his abdomen, where a red patch was beginning to soak through his dress shirt. He smirked slightly and shook his head.

"Tseng... what happened...?" I said softly.

"Apparently Reno misjudged his skills as a fine needlework craftsman..." Tseng said with mild amusement as he unbuttoned his shirt to inspect the burst stitches across his abdomen. Perhaps he knew, that by providing me with that answer rather than the truth, he had once again protected me from the world that I had come to accept as a cruel reality...

I moved towards him then and he gave me a curious gaze, before I reached out and placed tentative fingers over the stitchwork. My eyes then raked over the torso scattered with small scars and fresh disformations. My mind reeled with the possibilities of what may have caused such a wound. The sharp blade of a knife reached my mind all too quickly, and the thought burned a trail of hate towards the man that I had once called my father... My skin was far too pale, easily attaining the crimson colour of the blood that I had just brushed, before slightly darker fingers encircled my own and pulled them from the wound. My eyes lifted then, and met the burning intensity of the dark brown that had ensnared me from the word go... I hadn't realised just how close he was, until he let out a small laugh, and the breath from the gesture curled across my skin.

"You think too much..." He said softly, and I shook my head, my eyes never leaving his.

"I owe too much..." I replied, and his brow creased slightly. I pulled my fingers from his and replaced them against the wound.

"Why haven't you healed it?" I asked curiously.

"I don't have my materia, and I am one of only five who are permitted to heal using magic within this building..." He explained softly, before I recalled the glowing green orb that was nestled in my coat pocket. I pulled it out and he smirked slightly.

"You are not one of those five, Rufus..."

"I don't care..." I replied stubbornly, kneeling then to focus my attention on the wound. It really was quite violent in appearance, and I gently traced a pattern along his skin with my fingers. I turned my gaze upwards to meet his, and... I was a fool... I was instantly snared in that gaze as per usual and silently offered every thought and apology I could with my gaze. This would be a regret I would never atone for.

"Does it hurt?" I asked gently, before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss against his skin. His muscles quivered slightly, as his eyes flared momentarily.

"...No..." He assured, before I cast the spell required and returned the orb to my pocket. The skin gradually began to knit itself, as my fingers continued tracing patterns through what had previously been a fine piece of stitching.

"... Are you sure?" I asked, my lips acting of their own accord as they trailed a path along his stomach, my eyes still holding his. He raised a tentative hand then to cradle my cheek in his palms, before sliding fingers into my hair.

"I am sure of very little in this current moment, Rufus..." he murmured, as my last kiss lingered slightly over his navel. This beauty, this unguarded hunger and emotion and need... it was almost intoxicating to see it flare so openly through his gaze, and it was quickly becoming the object of my own undoing.

"...Rufus..." He said a little throatily, as his fingers moved to brush along my cheekbones again, his gaze increasing its intensity, as he gently coaxed me to stand. The anticipation was a hard one to quash, as his fingers continued to leave feather soft tendrils of pleasure along my skin.

"...Yes?" I said gently, perhaps a little too breathless in its release.

"I need to be sure that you are safe... that you are happy..." He murmured, as my eyes must have portrayed my confusion.

"Simply put, I intend to remain with you for as long as you intend to have me here..." he explained, "And further..."

He moved the hand that was not brushing along my cheek to loop around my waist and pull me slightly closer to him. It was insanity in every sense of the word as my skin tingled with his touch and my mouth moved of its own accord.

"I think I love you..." I murmured in response, before he leant forward, his lips swiftly capturing mine as my breath caught in my throat. So long, so unbearably long, the temptation had remained out of grasp... out of limits... and now it had become so very real... I may have moaned slightly as my lips parted to allow him access to my mouth in its entirity, but my mind was so intensely clouded with a lust fuelled haze that I could not have guaranteed anything beyond my attempts to grasp that this was real.

He was delicious... His smell, his taste... His touch, as he slid slightly calloused hands beneath my shirt and trailed along my own stomach... I was so deeply enraptured in the moment that I had barely anytime to register myself being carried to the sofa and being layed gently across its cushions, before Tseng was hovering above me, his arms supporting him from either side of my chest. He pulled back from my mouth with a few short nips at my bottom lip, before gazing at me with a question that I knew all too well.

"...Please..." I said simply, before he dipped down to my lips once again, his body covering mine as his fingers began to work on my shirt. As he peeled it off of my skin, his lips then latched onto my collarbone and sucked lightly. I choked out a gasp as I could have sworn his lips smirked against my skin, a light moan issuing from somewhere within his throat. His fingers trailed along my waist and chest as his fingers ran trails along my lightly defined muscles and settled on my hips. Oh Shiva... everything was hypersensitive, and I couldn't help but need release... but this, this was tortured bliss... I worked with nimble fingers on his own shirt as he continued to offer administrations to my neck and shoulders, before trailing my own fingers along the tight skin and texture that I found there. I dragged my nails slightly across his chest, and he pulled back slightly, his eyes flaring deviously. He straddled me slightly then, as if a signal of appreciation and I choked back a moan from escaping. He seemed to notice this and 'hmm'd in what was apparently satisfaction.

As I would find, Tseng seemingly found an immense pleasure in merely pleasuring me, as he offered appreciative noises with every gasp spilt from my lips. Heat was rapidly radiating through our bodies as I writhed albeit a little impatiently beneath him, and he took the hint flawlessly. He pulled back from my lips, and I took in the moment to soak in the dishevled appearance of the God before me. Gaia, so beautiful... I needed him... now. I grabbed his hand with my own and pulled three of his fingers into my mouth, laving at them as his eyes damn near glowed. His lips parted slightly, and yet his gaze never left mine as I bobbed my head slowly, making slight implications that caused his breathing to quicken slightly and my own to almost cease. I paused then, no longer guiding his fingers with my hand, and slid my fingers to unclasp the buckle of my belt and pants. I slid them out from underneath the pair of us and discarded them on the floor, for once not caring of creases or anything so trivial. His eyes travelled down my skin, as his fingers lightly toyed with the hem of my boxer shorts, my tongue continuing the preparation of his fingers. He slid the last article of clothing I had off of my legs, and the pure hunger lying within his eyes sent a shiver down my spine. Not a single soul had appreciated me like his eyes were now, and the pleasure was intense. All was disregarded however, as his fingers slid out of my mouth, and he slowly eased the first into my entrance. I hissed slightly, although expecting the pain, and he leant forward, his hair encasing us in a private meeting of lips and mouths, as his fingers continued to work within my body. Tortured bliss. It was a mantra repeating in my mind as a second finger entered, both brushing along a spot within my confines that made me writhe in pleasure and gasp into Tseng's mouth. He repeated the action several times, as I felt my body easing rapidly into the treatment it was receiving. Tseng was seemingly losing composure as he struggled with his pants, removing them hurriedly and discarding them onto the floor. He removed his fingers swiftly, and it was little warning before he'd pressed his own length inside me. I stilled, as did he, and my fingers dug deeply into his shoulder blades. He kissed me slowly then, apologetically, as he raised his hand to run through my sweat laced hair. We remained in that position until it became unbearingly... too... much...

"Move..." I whispered urgently, "Please..."

He gladly complied, and with his first thrust, my eyes burned with an indescribable ecstasy... His aim was seemingly non restricted to work, as he mercilessly hit what I came to realise was my prostate, encouraging a series of throaty gasps and whispered endearments. He eased up slightly, a slow rhythm gradually building as the sweat on our bodies mingled, and the limbs between us were unable to be determined between the individual. As his body resigned to the building pleasure, he did what no Turk had ever done in my presence, and subconsciously offered his throat. I did what any sane man would and worked my mouth into leaving a mark that would surely avoid the mako in his system, and last for days. He gave another stifled gasp as I bit down, and my mind spun once again, this time with a heightening desire and longing that I had cradled within me for too long. Tseng's thrusts became more urgent as I cried out his name against his shoulder blade, the friction from his stomach encouraging my release between us. Upon hearing my lips spill his name, he leant down and roughly drew my lips into a blistering kiss. As I continued to spasm with bliss, he threw his head back and gave a throaty moan, a warmness seeping into me as he released his seed in orgasm. I had not expected it to last long. The temptations and longing the pair of us had held so guarded had been released in the shortest path possible. As Tseng's body fell atop mine, his breathing coming out in pants as his hands still threaded through my hair, I realised that perhaps it hadn't needed to last forever to count for something... After a few moments, his head raised so that his eyes may meet mine and there was nothing there but an unguarded affection.

"...I love you too, Rufus..." He murmured, before lazily dipping down to capture my lips once more with his, and increasing the high I was already feeling at those softly murmured words...

--

I swirled the contents of my glass absent mindedly. I had done that which I needed to do for that day, and was now able to gaze freely out at the city that would someday be mine. The sun had remained in the sky for longer than was normal, signifying the approach of summer and the heat that would undoubtedly come with it. I didn't move, as I heard the soft sounds of footsteps approaching me from behind. A figure stood behind me now, slightly to my left, as I held out the glass. He took it, his fingers curling delicately around the outer rim, and he let out a soft 'hmph'.

"You've come to tell me that I missed lunch again, haven't you?" I smirked, as he turned and placed the glass on my nearby desk.

"Perhaps it could be counted as an early dinner, sir..." He replied coyly, as I closed my eyes briefly in amusement. He loved playing this game...

"What have I said about calling me that?" I said, feigning annoyance.

"I apologise Rufus..." He replied, smirk evident, as he moved once again to my side and ran a threaded a hand through my hair. I admittedly leant into the touch, and he smiled slightly from the corner of my eyes.

"Aristocrats?"

"I say La Mirage... Aristocrats has become a known area that you attend, Vice President..."

"I want sushi..." I insisted.

"Even if you do that, you can't always get what you want..." Tseng retorted then, before I turned and grabbed the front of his collar.

"I think you're wrong..." I smirked, before leaning forward and capturing his lips between mine.

--

Yes, I am Rufus Shinra, and I always get what I want.

--

A/N: Holy cow, my first completed multi-chapter. Secretly, I love the fact that it was Birth of the Phoenix that got the title. :)

Tseng finally got his 'collarbone wish' so to speak. xD

ANYWAY, Just wanted to point out that for every story I write, I make a summary kind of thing for not only my own reference, but anyone who is interested. It basically highlights main ideas, character intentions, original ideas etc. Anyone who wants a copy, let me know, and we'll talk. lol. It's no extra hassle, considering I do them anyway, I'm just that weird. :P

BTW, ya wanna sequel? Lemme know. lol.