When a Mother admits Mistake

by Jasmin Kaiba

No matter what we said or did, he pulled it through, they pulled it through and at one point I believed it will always be so. I never hated being wrong more in my entire life. Just as I started to see what it's worth, what he accomplishes, what he's able to do and when I think that for once he can be entirely happy, it happens and he is at the beginning again, unhappy and lonely. Now more then ever.

I tried talking to him about it, he doesn't want to hear it, doesn't want to talk about her, nothing helps. I can't do anything for him, I feel so unneeded, and it hurts watching him like that. No matter how I behave he's my son and I love him, I only want what's best for him, I want him to be happy, and if he's happy for her then so be it, I'll be happy for him, for them.

Maybe it's our fault that she said 'no', maybe we should have accepted her and been happy that our son has finally found happiness. I hate myself for shunning her, I hate myself for saying things that weren't true, I hate myself for acting the way I did. I try making it better. I even talked/threatened Mitchum into sending her a job proposition at one of his better papers in San Francisco; she declined, saying politely 'thank you, I'm content where I am'. I made Honor fly to L.A. when I learned that she was there, Honor 'bumped' into her on the street, invited her to coffee and shopping, but still nothing, she didn't even ask about him.

After months of keeping myself, Mitchum and Elias as far away from the Gilmores or the Haydens as I could, I decided to show up at one of Emily's parties. The first person I saw had been Lorelai and I had to keep myself from making a scene. Honor told me how that woman never liked my son, said he wasn't good enough for her daughter. But to make a scene would have been unfair in the first place, I shunned her daughter just as much, but on the other hand I never had the opportunity to talk to Logan the way she could talk to her, I sometimes think that all this mess is that woman's fault.

I visited Emily after that party, we talked about everything, and we both agreed that we wanted Logan and Rory together again, Elias and Lorelai can say what they want, my little boy is marrying the girl of his dreams and that's it. I'll get them together or I won't be Shira Huntzberger anymore!

AN: I know that I should be updating Home in New York and that you probably hate me now, but I had to get this off my shoulders and my mind. So I hope you tell me how you liked my opinion on Shira's thoughts after the break up! Enjoy!

Jas